Rise in Infant Suffocation tied to bed sharing?

inheritedcurls · January 2009

Did anybody else read this article? Thoughts, comments?

I don't co-sleep (I do put her in bed with me to warm her up sometimes) with my little one's but I do use blankets. Addison is so cold natured she would never sleep if I didn't have blankets on her. I put her in a long sleeve onsie, socks, fleecie pj's. Swaddle her in a light blanket and then layor 2 other blankets. We do keep our house at 68 degrees though. How do you keep your little one's warm if you don't use blankets? They say not to have too warm of a house...but then don't use blankets. It's a catch-22.

PixieCurl · January 2009

Bed-sharing/cosleeping needs to be done safely, just as crib sleeping does. To prevent "parent rollover", precautions should be taken like...

-only mother next to baby, since fathers and other caregivers don't have the same instinct protecting them from rolling onto baby

-not sleeping with baby when impaired by alcohol or other drug / sleep medication

That said, people need to evaluate their own comfort level / preferences against these precautions - just like you do with the blankets for your crib sleeper. We let Solomon sleep between us and I'm very confident that my husband will not roll onto him.

Kaia · January 2009

I'd like to know if they differentiated between intentional and accidental bed-sharing. I would guess not, as most of these studies lump it all together. It's pretty meaningless when you put together the parents who are informed and prepared to have a baby in their bed with the ones who accidentally fall asleep with the baby on the couch, and the kid gets wedged in between the cushions. There is also a difference in outcomes depending on whther the bed-sharing is voluntary for the parents or caused by financial constraints of not being able to afford a crib.

subbrock · January 2009

PixieCurl wrote: »

Bed-sharing/cosleeping needs to be done safely, just as crib sleeping does. To prevent "parent rollover", precautions should be taken like...

-only mother next to baby, since fathers and other caregivers don't have the same instinct protecting them from rolling onto baby

-not sleeping with baby when impaired by alcohol or other drug / sleep medication

That said, people need to evaluate their own comfort level / preferences against these precautions - just like you do with the blankets for your crib sleeper. We let Solomon sleep between us and I'm very confident that my husband will not roll onto him.

i totally agree. when i co slept, it was just me and the munchkin in the bed. daddy had to sleep on the couch. it hurt his feelings, but the man used to roll over on me when we were sleeping and i couldnt get him off, so i i know he wouldnt be able to feel someone a fraction of my size.

ive always used blankets though. never once has she gotten tangled or had the blanket abover her head or anything. i used to only pull it up to her nipple line and then tuck it under her arms until she was bigger.

RedCatWaves · January 2009

I would totally trust my husband to co-sleep safely, moreso than myself. I'm a flip-flopper. All.night.long. It's not truly safe for a baby to sleep with me, and I rarely did it because I didn't sleep well that way anyway. He hardly moves and he sometimes co-slept with them on his chest or in his armpit when he was too tired to take them back to bed after a feeding (he was the baby fetcher).

Morgan_Adcock · January 2009

We lived in Scotland for two years when I was a small child. There was no central heating. (My father actually considered a flat in a castle outside of town just because it was advertised as having "central heat." The central heat consisted of a single heating coil mounted on the bathroom tiles.) We had two coal fireplaces, two paraffin (kerosine) heaters, one petrol (gasoline) heater, and my parents had an "electric blanket" (a heated mattress pad). My parents got so sick of being cold all the time that they once took all the heaters into their bedroom and turned everything on full blast (a rather risky thing to do), which resulted in getting the temperature up to the mid-50s.

So how did they keep a toddler and an infant warm enough at night? We slept in "blanket sleepers." These were like sleeping bags made from thick (and probably well felted) wool blankets with sleeves and a collar. We got zipped into them when we were changed into our nightclothes. I don't remember ever being cold at night. They stayed on, we could move around in them while we slept, and still feel warm. I could walk in mine, but my sister couldn't crawl in hers, so she'd order me to drag her where she wanted to go (nobody else could understand her because she had her own language). I often missed them after we moved back to the States; with central heat I was never as warm on winter nights as I had been in an unheated stone building in my blanket sleeper.

LoloDSM · January 2009

We have an old, drafty house. DD sleeps in fleece footie pajamas and has a fleece blanket. When she was younger, she slept in PJs and a sleep sack.

I have a question for those of you who co-sleep. Do you go to bed at the same time as your wee ones?

sarah42 · January 2009

I co-slept with both my babies until they were about 4 months old. We quit because babies and parents stopped getting very good/much sleep at night, but I felt it was safe. I slept very lightly and was very aware of where the baby, myself, husband, and blankets were.

Our house has been pretty chilly this fall and winter, so I put a blanket with Oliver in his crib (in addition to warm PJ's and sleep sack). I wrapped it around his lower half, up to about his waist. One night I woke up to him crying, which isn't unusual, but he had the blanket up over his head and was squirming and flailing around. It freaked me out and I haven't put blankets with him anymore.

Kaia · January 2009

LoloDSM wrote: »

I have a question for those of you who co-sleep. Do you go to bed at the same time as your wee ones?

Not unless he's having "one of those nights" and is up late.

Amneris · January 2009

LoloDSM wrote: »

We have an old, drafty house. DD sleeps in fleece footie pajamas and has a fleece blanket. When she was younger, she slept in PJs and a sleep sack.

I have a question for those of you who co-sleep. Do you go to bed at the same time as your wee ones?

Usually yes, but not always.

eta: Black male babies are most at risk? That's my boy...

Brown_Eyed_Girl · January 2009

We didn't start out cosleeping, but started doing more and more of it during the winter because I was afraid she was cold. (My parents keep the house below 65 at night.) Also, before we coslept, she was in my room and I would pull her in my bed to nurse her at night, and eventually I started not wanting to get out from under my warm covers. And then I would think she was too warm with me when I had dressed her in layers to sleep by herself. :confused1:

At first, I felt like cosleeping made me sleep so lightly that I didn't get good sleep, so she slept in a separate basket. As we eased into it this winter though, I feel like I sleep light enough to know where she is, but not as light as I did in the beginning.

I don't go to bed at the same time as her. She goes to bed at seven, and I go to bed at 10 or 11. Sometimes she wakes up in between and I go put her back to sleep.

Also, even when we didn't cosleep, I had our bed set up to cosleep safely. I read an article a while back that suggested more parents should consider this because a lot of parents end up with their kids in their bed out of desperation at least on occasion. This way, if I feel asleep with her sometimes, I didn't have to worry about her safety.

PixieCurl · January 2009

We do not go to bed at the same time as Sol. He goes to bed at 9:00 usually and we go in a few hours later. Like BEG's baby, sometimes he wakes before we go in to bed so I go in and nurse him back to sleep, then slip out again. Once he became mobile we removed our bed frame and box spring so that the mattress is right on the floor and he's safe when we're not in there. He knows how to safely (feet-first) crawl off the mattress too, but I always go back right away when I hear him wake so he never gets that far.

curlygirlyme · January 2009

I co-slept with my son for the first 4 or 5 months. He was such a light sleeper and ate a lot. With my daughter I didn't co-sleep. But she slept in a cradle right next to me. I plan to do the same thing with the next one. I think it's better that I didn't co-sleep with my daughter, because my son had a terrible time sleeping alone. It took awhile to break the habit.

shellibean · January 2009

Questions for the co-sleepers:

Do you go to bed early or does baby stay up late?
If you go to bed at different times- how does baby sleep alone while you are not in there? What do you do when they start rolling over? If they are sleeping in your bed alone while you are awake- what is the difference in them sleeping in a crib alone?

I am not trying to say that one is better than the other- I just have no clue. We only co-slept while breastfeeding, so I have no clue how it works once the baby is bigger and/or not bf-ing.

Kaia · January 2009

Questions for the co-sleepers:

Do you go to bed early or does baby stay up late?

Neither.

If you go to bed at different times- how does baby sleep alone while you are not in there?

Not sure what you mean. He just sleeps. If he wakes up, we hear him on the monitor and someone goes in a cuddles him abck to sleep.

What do you do when they start rolling over?

We use pillows to block him from rolling off in his sleep. They wouldn't stop him from getting off on purpose, but he knows how to get down correctly and we'd hear him on the monitor long before he gets to that point anyway. When he wakes up, he usually just "talks" and waits for someone to come.

If they are sleeping in your bed alone while you are awake- what is the difference in them sleeping in a crib alone?

I guess there's not a difference, except that he's sleeping in a familiar place and we can just lay down next to him if he wakes up. And when we go to bed, it's nice and warm with a warm baby to cuddle.

I am not trying to say that one is better than the other- I just have no clue. We only co-slept while breastfeeding, so I have no clue how it works once the baby is bigger and/or not bf-ing.

It works the same. It right for some and not for others. We found that we all sleep better when we're together. Dylan always sleeps longer at night and duting naps if someone is sleeping with him, and if I wake up paranoid, he's right there next to me so I can make sure he's fine without getting up. If I had a baby who was a light sleeper, I would have no problem putting him in a crib. We have a crib put together for the next baby just in case that happens.

I've noticed people (not you shelli, but in general) like to make it out like it's the mom wanting the kids in bed and poor dad suffers neglected, but that's just not the case for us. My husband likes having D with us and says so regularly. Once he even told me he feels bad for people who think they have to have their babies in a crib, because they're really missing out. :love3: And no, it's also not true that people who bed-share don't have sex for years. :roll:

shellibean · January 2009

Maybe too private, but how DO you have sex?
And, I am not judging- it just wasn't for us. I wasn't comfortable with him being in the big bed alone and he slept waaaaaaay better in his own bed. Mayeb my snoring husband bothered him?? To this day, he WILL NOT sleep with us!
We visited my in-laws thinking he would just sleep with us...we went and bought a cheapie crib after the first night! (he escapes out of pack & plays) because he thought being in bed with us meant PLAY TIME not sleep time! He wont leave us alone and sleep when we are around!

PixieCurl · January 2009

Questions for the co-sleepers:

Do you go to bed early or does baby stay up late?

Neither.

We go to bed at different times.

If you go to bed at different times- how does baby sleep alone while you are not in there?

Not sure what you mean. He just sleeps. If he wakes up, we hear him on the monitor and someone goes in a cuddles him abck to sleep.

Same as Kaia. We put a pillow on either side of him. If he wakes, I hear him on the monitor and go nurse him back to sleep.

What do you do when they start rolling over?

We use pillows to block him from rolling off in his sleep. They wouldn't stop him from getting off on purpose, but he knows how to get down correctly and we'd hear him on the monitor long before he gets to that point anyway. When he wakes up, he usually just "talks" and waits for someone to come.

Same with the pillows. As I said before, we removed our bedframe and boxspring and put our mattress right on the floor when he became mobile. He does know how to get off the mattress feet-first but I'm always back there before that point.

If they are sleeping in your bed alone while you are awake- what is the difference in them sleeping in a crib alone?

I guess there's not a difference, except that he's sleeping in a familiar place and we can just lay down next to him if he wakes up. And when we go to bed, it's nice and warm with a warm baby to cuddle.

Easier for me to go lay down with him to get him back to sleep, and we don't have to move him when we go to bed.

shellibean wrote:

Maybe too private, but how DO you have sex?

We were never ones to do it at-night-in-bed anyway, so it's not too much of a change for us. We use the guest room a lot, when Sol is sleeping, or even the living room. And my husband is like Kaia's husband - 100% on board with the cosleeping. I asked him once if he would keep cosleeping if I died (he sells life insurance so these questions come up) and he said absolutely. He's the one who said we'd need a king-sized bed before we have another child.

RedCatWaves · January 2009

PixieCurl wrote: »

shellibean wrote:

Maybe too private, but how DO you have sex?

We were never ones to do it at-night-in-bed anyway, so it's not too much of a change for us. We use the guest room a lot, when Sol is sleeping, or even the living room.

Spoken like a newlywed who doesn't have older children in the house. This only works if you don't have older kids.

When my younger 2 babies were born, I had 2 older school-aged kids. Kids that age are up much later than toddlers, and they're IN in the living room. All the bedrooms are full, so there is no guest room, but even if we did have one, there would be plenty of questions and knocks on the door ("Hey mom/dad, what are you doing in there?") They are nosey little beasts. In those days (and these days too), the only place we could have sex was in our bedroom, at night. We had our babies in bed with us occasionally, but a baby/toddler in the bed every night would definitely have cramped our style.

rainshower · January 2009

my husband basically sleeps in the same position all night and my sleeping habits changed drastically after becoming a mother.

when our infants were in bed with us, it was my husband, a pillow, our infant, then me. i slept on my side facing our infant and would awaken easily at the slightest coo ... which is why i looked like a zombie a year post partum. :tongue2:

PixieCurl · January 2009

Yeah, RCW, I guess we'll have to deal with that if/as it comes up.

sarah42 · January 2009

Like I mentioned above, we co-slept for the first several months before moving the babies to a crib in their own room. I would have been willing to do it longer, but it got to a point where it wasn't working for us. The baby woke up anytime I rolled over or moved my arm or adjusted my position, like 5-6 times a night, and nursing back to sleep worked about half of the time, so there were several night wakings where he would fuss and cry and wouldn't settle back down to sleep for a long time. He wasn't sleeping well, and neither were we. That was when it became time for the crib! Everyone started sleeping better, so it was a win-win situation. I think co-sleeping works well for some families, and it did for us for a time, but every family has to find their own best arrangement.

Kaia · January 2009

PixieCurl wrote: »

We were never ones to do it at-night-in-bed anyway, so it's not too much of a change for us. We use the guest room a lot, when Sol is sleeping, or even the living room.

Hee, same here. The couch works fine, and when we get the itch on weekend mornings, we just take D out into the PnP in the living room. He usually plays by himself well for a while. I think with a small child, you have to be open to interruptions no matter what your set up is. It sucks when they start screaming when you're in the middle of it, but I'm sure that happens with crib babies too sometimes.

gemini · January 2009

We did fine with it. I never fell into a truly deep sleep when she was a baby and sometimes DH would sleep with her on his chest. Even now when she sneaks into the bed in the middle of the night, she gets between me and my husband and no one rolls onto her.

inheritedcurls · January 2009

Morgan_Adcock wrote: »

We lived in Scotland for two years when I was a small child. There was no central heating. (My father actually considered a flat in a castle outside of town just because it was advertised as having "central heat." The central heat consisted of a single heating coil mounted on the bathroom tiles.) We had two coal fireplaces, two paraffin (kerosine) heaters, one petrol (gasoline) heater, and my parents had an "electric blanket" (a heated mattress pad). My parents got so sick of being cold all the time that they once took all the heaters into their bedroom and turned everything on full blast (a rather risky thing to do), which resulted in getting the temperature up to the mid-50s.

So how did they keep a toddler and an infant warm enough at night? We slept in "blanket sleepers." These were like sleeping bags made from thick (and probably well felted) wool blankets with sleeves and a collar. We got zipped into them when we were changed into our nightclothes. I don't remember ever being cold at night. They stayed on, we could move around in them while we slept, and still feel warm. I could walk in mine, but my sister couldn't crawl in hers, so she'd order me to drag her where she wanted to go (nobody else could understand her because she had her own language). I often missed them after we moved back to the States; with central heat I was never as warm on winter nights as I had been in an unheated stone building in my blanket sleeper.

These blanket sleepers sound great. The only ones I have found don't cover the arms...Just the body. So her arms and hands would get cold if I didn't use blankets.

PixieCurl · January 2009

sarah42 wrote: »

Like I mentioned above, we co-slept for the first several months before moving the babies to a crib in their own room. I would have been willing to do it longer, but it got to a point where it wasn't working for us. The baby woke up anytime I rolled over or moved my arm or adjusted my position, like 5-6 times a night, and nursing back to sleep worked about half of the time, so there were several night wakings where he would fuss and cry and wouldn't settle back down to sleep for a long time. He wasn't sleeping well, and neither were we. That was when it became time for the crib! Everyone started sleeping better, so it was a win-win situation. I think co-sleeping works well for some families, and it did for us for a time, but every family has to find their own best arrangement.

That's a great example of how the best sleeping arrangement for any family is whichever one allows everyone to get the most/best sleep. I don't think cosleeping is the best sleeping arrangement across the board. Like you said, every family is different and needs to do whatever works best for them.

Brown_Eyed_Girl · January 2009

PixieCurl wrote: »

Questions for the co-sleepers:

Do you go to bed early or does baby stay up late?

Neither.

We go to bed at different times.

Ditto.

If you go to bed at different times- how does baby sleep alone while you are not in there?

Not sure what you mean. He just sleeps. If he wakes up, we hear him on the monitor and someone goes in a cuddles him abck to sleep.

Same as Kaia. We put a pillow on either side of him. If he wakes, I hear him on the monitor and go nurse him back to sleep.

Ditto.

What do you do when they start rolling over?

We use pillows to block him from rolling off in his sleep. They wouldn't stop him from getting off on purpose, but he knows how to get down correctly and we'd hear him on the monitor long before he gets to that point anyway. When he wakes up, he usually just "talks" and waits for someone to come.

Lydia does this too.

Same with the pillows. As I said before, we removed our bedframe and boxspring and put our mattress right on the floor when he became mobile. He does know how to get off the mattress feet-first but I'm always back there before that point.

If they are sleeping in your bed alone while you are awake- what is the difference in them sleeping in a crib alone?

I guess there's not a difference, except that he's sleeping in a familiar place and we can just lay down next to him if he wakes up. And when we go to bed, it's nice and warm with a warm baby to cuddle.

Easier for me to go lay down with him to get him back to sleep, and we don't have to move him when we go to bed.

I used to be able to nurse Lydia to sleep and then move her wherever, so the Moses basket and then later a crib worked really well. Now, I can't move her at all, not out of a wrap or carseat and not from one bed to another. (Obviously, if I were laying her down awake to go to sleep, it wouldn't matter, but she has very rarely done that. Maybe I could have pressed it more when she was younger, but it seemed to turn into an ordeal that I didn't want to deal with.) Also, I don't think it's good for my back to lay a sleeping baby down in the crib.

shellibean wrote:

Maybe too private, but how DO you have sex?

We were never ones to do it at-night-in-bed anyway, so it's not too much of a change for us. We use the guest room a lot, when Sol is sleeping, or even the living room. And my husband is like Kaia's husband - 100% on board with the cosleeping. I asked him once if he would keep cosleeping if I died (he sells life insurance so these questions come up) and he said absolutely. He's the one who said we'd need a king-sized bed before we have another child.

DH is in Iraq right now, so I don't know how it will work when he comes home. We've always prefered the bed for sex. Other places seem too uncomfortable to us to use on a regular basis, although of course it's fun sometimes. I think ideally I would like to have a twin mattress on the floor for Lydia so I could nurse her or cuddle her to sleep, but we could have our own bed too. I don't have room for that right now though.

We've changed sleeping arrangements several times, and I agree with what Pixie said about doing whatever gets everyone the most sleep. I think it's simpler when I don't have an idea in my head of where the baby has to/should sleep.

Po · January 2009

We co-slept from the time DJ was born. Never had a problem.

Am I the only one who has had sex with their baby in the room? If the baby is asleep, what's the prob? It's not like a baby is going to wake up and freak out seeing mommy and daddy having quiet sex.

inheritedcurls · January 2009

Po wrote: »

We co-slept from the time DJ was born. Never had a problem.

Am I the only one who has had sex with their baby in the room? If the baby is asleep, what's the prob? It's not like a baby is going to wake up and freak out seeing mommy and daddy having quiet sex.

Nope.

Po · January 2009

Has anyone read the comments about the article? I didn't realize co-sleeping was such a big deal. It never occurred to me to NOT co-sleep as that what everyone had done in my family for generations (no judgement on those who think differently).

There has to be something else going on. One commenter mentioned rising obesity rates. ??

Po · January 2009

inheritedcurls wrote: »

Po wrote: »

We co-slept from the time DJ was born. Never had a problem.

Am I the only one who has had sex with their baby in the room? If the baby is asleep, what's the prob? It's not like a baby is going to wake up and freak out seeing mommy and daddy having quiet sex.

Nope.

Phew! I was getting a little nervous... LOL!

Kaia · January 2009

Po wrote: »

We co-slept from the time DJ was born. Never had a problem.

Am I the only one who has had sex with their baby in the room? If the baby is asleep, what's the prob? It's not like a baby is going to wake up and freak out seeing mommy and daddy having quiet sex.

We used to when he was smaller. Now that he's so into everything, if he wakes up, he comes to see what we're doing and wants to get in the middle of everything. Totally KILLS the mood!

Rise in Infant Suffocation tied to bed sharing?

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