Friends just don't understand

N.D. AubeN.D. Aube Posts: 87Registered Users
Ever had some friends who dogged you about your natural curly hair? "Why don't you get a relaxer? It'll tame your hair!"
I have to deal with it every day from them and it's starting to break apart our friendship because I honestly don't feel like talking with them anymore, it always comes up. have your curls caused you to gain friends, lose friends? How do your friends react to your natural state?
Type; 3c-4a
Prods: TBA
My hair HATES Vo5 & Suave with a passion, b/c of the dmdm hydantoin. Protein sensitive.


  • CurlyHairedFarmerCurlyHairedFarmer Posts: 3,079Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I am no longer a teen, but at 21 it really wasn't that long ago.

    My best friend was the only one to ever tell me that curly hair suited me and that I had a model's hair.

    Everyone else always asked "Have you tried straightening it?"

    The only friends I keep around are ones who don't try to change me or make me feel bad about myself.
    Currently Loving:
    Shampoo: Giovanni 50:50

    Conditioners - CJ Strengthening, CJ Beauticurls Argan and Olive Oil, CJ Rehab, CJ Curl Fix

    Leave-in: CJ Smoothing

    Deep Conditioner: CJ Hibiscus and Banana Deep Fix

    Stylers - Tigi Curls Rock Amplifier, AG:Recoil, KCCC, Mop-C Curling Cream, Paul Mitchell Sculpting foam
  • hoopsloopshoopsloops Posts: 9Registered Users
    Thats really unfair, why would you want to relax your hair? To look like them? You should find some friends that accept you for you (even on a mad hair day!!) They should get the message that you DON'T WANT to relax your hair so they really should have shut up about it now!
    and don't give in to them , curls are so pretty and original and i bet you look 10 times more gorgeous then all of them :)

  • N.D. AubeN.D. Aube Posts: 87Registered Users
    awh thanks hoops. :) & farmer, I tried ditching them but it's hard, we have so much history together
    Type; 3c-4a
    Prods: TBA
    My hair HATES Vo5 & Suave with a passion, b/c of the dmdm hydantoin. Protein sensitive.
  • Melanie_LinnMelanie_Linn Posts: 457Registered Users
    I'm lucky my friends like it, actually my friend aj loves to play with my hair. I get the what happened to your hair, if i flat iron it.
    3c/4aMCiii normal/low porosity med elasticty

    Shampoo- JC Hydrating Invigorating poo, Alaffia Shea & Virgin Coconut Enriching Shampoo, CV poo bars
    Rinse out- Natures gate hemp, GSAS
    Leave in- GDLI, Beautiful Curls Curl Activating Leave in
    DT- Still working on that
    Styler- Ecostyler Crystal, Queen Helene Royal Curl Creme
    Sealer- castor, Shea butter,jojoba oil

    I don't know how well I'll keep it up, my blog The Lions Mane
  • hoopsloopshoopsloops Posts: 9Registered Users
    yeh i can see how that would be difficult :/
    you should try and explain that they should shut up about it because it's getting you down, have you said anything to them yet?
  • Mbrianne16Mbrianne16 Posts: 67Registered Users
    omg when i used to straighten my hair, girls that i only talked to once in a while used to tell me that i should STRAIGHTEN my hair, even though it ALREADY was X_x, and i would have to point out it was, so then they would go on to say that i should get a realxer/perm, and i never knew why they would say that if i already told them I straightened my hair, i guess because it was still really thick even if i straightened it, but anyway i just used to tell them "no, im never getting a perm because its just going to dry my hair out and make it break all off, making it real short" & they all had perms and their hair was short from breakage, even though they would never admit it.
    so now this year im going curly because im tired of taking like 3-4 hrs to straighten it, i want to show them what my real hair looks like,& I LOVEE my hair this way.soo i think im gonna love their reaction! lol.
    i think that now if anyone tells me to straighten my hair or get a relaxer im going to say "why would i do that, i love my hair this way, mabey you should curl your hair, i think it would make your hair have more personality" and if their your good friends mabey you could just tell them "i like my hair this way so if you have that much of a problem with it then just dont talk to me anymore" if it keeps being a problem they might just fade away if you find new friends who like your hair.

    sorry for the long post but I HTH :)
    *Fia's Hair type: 3A-B /F/iii
    *About Shoulder/Chin length
    *Natural since 6-26-08
  • N.D. AubeN.D. Aube Posts: 87Registered Users
    I did. They said "Oh well it's fine if you want to walk around looking like a poodle. poodles can be cute sometime" o_O
    Megan, I hope you go back to school and blow everyone out of the water
    Type; 3c-4a
    Prods: TBA
    My hair HATES Vo5 & Suave with a passion, b/c of the dmdm hydantoin. Protein sensitive.
  • Mbrianne16Mbrianne16 Posts: 67Registered Users
    ooh sounds to me like theyre jealous, just hang in there they will eventually get over it, thanks i hope so too.
    *Fia's Hair type: 3A-B /F/iii
    *About Shoulder/Chin length
    *Natural since 6-26-08
  • k33rstynk33rstyn Posts: 59Registered Users
    I always had the opposite problem! I wanted to straighten my hair and my friends loved it and would not let that happen! :) I think true friends know that your curls are what makes you you! Now that I'm almost 20, I've accepted my curls and starting using the energy and time I used to spend complaining and plotting against my curls into making them look good. Let people think what they want to think. They're just jealous you stand out.

    Think about it: does anyone EVER forget you? I don't know about you but I get approached by people I haven't seen in years all the time who recognize me. I like that. Us curly girls are pretty much rockstars! :)
  • ponygirlcurtisponygirlcurtis Posts: 29Registered Users
    It's great. Now my hair is short, but when it was longer. I would pull it back and plaster. I was in a play and for a performance I pulled curls out in the front. And when I went in the dressing-room everyone was asking me if I permed it, they all thought it was wonderful! Unfortunately I don't get that from all my friends. My best friend Lira, is always telling me what to do with my hair. She also is very blatant when commenting on my cut or do. Just wanted to sympathize!

    Lovin My Curls!
    Currently Using,:occasion9: Suave Coconut Conditioner, and Aussie Mousse+leave-in-conditioner. Working Well!
    Got Scrunch?
  • sransomxdazzlessransomxdazzles Posts: 22Registered Users
    Ugh, yes! I love my curly hair, it does make me feel like a rockstar, I havent straightened it in months, and dont plan on doing so.

  • lorrnaelorrnae Posts: 134Registered Users
    Ugh, yes! I love my curly hair, it does make me feel like a rockstar, I havent straightened it in months, and dont plan on doing so.

    I hate it when they ask me, "are you going to get your hair relaxed?". It annoys me.
    4a/Fine Strands/Medium Length/Low Porosity (still editing)
    My product routine is currently a work in progress.
  • radiant ringletsradiant ringlets Posts: 22Registered Users
    it always bugs me how some of my friends assume that because i have curly hair i don't like it. and i do love it! they don't seem to understand that curly hair is hiiiiigh maintenance and they can let jokes about it slip way too easily. but always embrace your curls! there is always somebody who wishes there hair is just like yours!
    CG since Feb '09 : )
    Thick 3b currently using...
    Low-Poo: TJ's Nourish Spa shampoo
    Conditioner: TJ's Nourish Spa condish, Garnier Fructis (the one w/o cones)
    DT's: Shea butter, Olive oil
    Leave-In: L'oreal Paris Ever Pure Rosemary Mint
    Stylers: HETT gel, L'oreal Paris clear minded gel
    Also love ACV rinses : )
  • ontheoutsideontheoutside Posts: 35Registered Users
    i have sum friends that always compliment my hair and then i have friends who say stuff like" its really frizzy,you should do sumtin about that." or " well y dont u just straighten ur hair? it would look nicer"

    i think my hair stops me from makin more friends cus ppl just take one look and get scared haha. but the friends that i knew since i was little dont treat me that differently
  • keeblerkeebler Posts: 8Registered Users
    I always used to feel like I had to straighten my hair to fit in, but after a while I just got so tired of spending all that time straightening it. Now that I actually know how to do my hair curly, all of my friends really like it. My boyfriend constantly plays with it. Honestly, your true friends will accept you for whoever you are, curly or not.

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