creepy guy *update*

subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
remember how i told you about my friend's SO/baby daddy who was texting me and just gave off creepy vibes? well he went full on creepy and basically proposed that we be hookup buddies! who does that?????? today he sent me a barrage of texts, some of which were very very very innapropriate.
ive decided against telling my friend about it because after talking to both of them, ive come to realize that she has to know about his constant infidelity and just chooses to try to explain away his inappropriate behaviors or ignore it.
i was really hoping that they werent both creepy, but that they did indeed sell amway. i will definitely be keeping my distance from him and distancing myself from her as well.

here is the original thread:
http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=48276

Comments

  • SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
    ugh ew ew. what class - he did it over text message. :sad8:
    2c hair. maybe a little porous? my hair likes suave, vo5 and the big tease. going to be trying more lush soon. not sure how i feel about dr bronners.

    letting my hair be natural again after getting it straightened. yeah yeah, im a traitor :pirate:
  • journotravelerjournotraveler Posts: 2,816Registered Users
    ugh! what a jerk. good that you are distancing yourself from both of them. be careful...
    3B corkscrews with scatterings of 3A & 3C.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    oh there's a kid too...? deep...
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    See...I think you should tell her. She really might not know what he's been doing. You're going to distance yourself from her anyway, so it doesn't really matter if she gets mad at you. She deserves to know the truth.
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    If I were you I'd forward the texts to her, but as you've already made your decision, cut both of them off. It seems that as long as she's in your life you will have to deal with him too.
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Gah, some guys are such d-bags. Sorry he did that to you.

    I was in a similar situation several years ago, and when his wife found out she was so pissed at me. I told her, I'm not the one who tried to get in my pants! But our friendship was pretty much ruined after that. Sucked.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Question: do you even want to be friends with someone who is so messed up she would look the other way with this kind of thing?

    There are some underlying issues there, that's for sure ...

    BTW, I tend to think people in these types of situations always know something's up. They're just not facing it because it's too hard.
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    What a sleaze.

    The decision to tell or not to tell is hard. But, if you feel she won't do anything useful with it, perhaps, it's for the best that you don't.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • KeeweeKeewee Posts: 1,376Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hmmmmm.....Amway.. you know what they say about Amway.... I would definately distance myself from the both of them... You just recently became friends with her right????? Maybe they are swingers lol... I'd stay away, this way you don't even have to tell her.. By the way what does your SO say about this? maybe you should let him have a chat with this guy....
    3A some 3b Total Product Junkie
    P/Wmarissa
    http://public.fotki.com/Keewee
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    there are two kids involved. one from his ex wife and one from my friend.
    the reason that i dont plan on telling her is that i know she wont do anything about it. like i think i said before, he cheated on his then wife with her and shes told me about at least one time he's cheated on her. she must have known he was up to something with me because just before i was going to tell her he had been texting me and sending me stuff on facebook, she made excuses for what he was doing in an attempt to save face.
    i havent told my SO and im still debating on whether or not i should. i definitely dont want things to get ugly.
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    See...I think you should tell her. She really might not know what he's been doing. You're going to distance yourself from her anyway, so it doesn't really matter if she gets mad at you. She deserves to know the truth.

    ITA! You've done her a favor that she won't appreciate now, but will think of you down the road when this relationship goes down the tubes. Maybe not. Unfortunately, there is a child involved.
    AKA lotsawaves
    AKA new2curls
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    subbrock wrote: »
    there are two kids involved. one from his ex wife and one from my friend.
    the reason that i dont plan on telling her is that i know she wont do anything about it. like i think i said before, he cheated on his then wife with her and shes told me about at least one time he's cheated on her. she must have known he was up to something with me because just before i was going to tell her he had been texting me and sending me stuff on facebook, she made excuses for what he was doing in an attempt to save face.
    i havent told my SO and im still debating on whether or not i should. i definitely dont want things to get ugly.

    Oh yeah she knows but doesn't want to believe. WHy do people do these things? Why do we women do this to one another???? Sigh...
  • ScarletScarlet Posts: 3,125Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My question is why do people not only do these things, but further complicate matters by bringing a child into their mess?
    The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics - Thomas Sowell
  • RichardHeadRichardHead Banned Posts: 629Banned Users
    Tell them both to lose your number.
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    there are two kids involved. one from his ex wife and one from my friend.
    the reason that i dont plan on telling her is that i know she wont do anything about it. like i think i said before, he cheated on his then wife with her and shes told me about at least one time he's cheated on her. she must have known he was up to something with me because just before i was going to tell her he had been texting me and sending me stuff on facebook, she made excuses for what he was doing in an attempt to save face.
    i havent told my SO and im still debating on whether or not i should. i definitely dont want things to get ugly.

    you don't want things to get ugly? things have gotten as ugly as they can get, haven't they?

    you haven't done anything wrong. and it's not your responsibility to shelter someone else's kids (by not telling) from family drama that was created by their own parents.

    him having children wasn't enough to stop him from cheating or for her to take off her blinders, so you being totally honest with her isn't going to hurt the children any more than they already have been.

    you should tell her person-to-person and sever ties with her. and you should tell your SO everything.

    ETA: if this had been a one-time, out-of-character come-on that he'd made out of drunkenness, for example, i might say no one needs to know. but his liberties were thought-out and intentional and repeated. your friend and your SO need to know.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb

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