I don't know how to have consistency in my curls and how to make them last, what am I doing wrong?

DarkghettounicornDarkghettounicorn Posts: 5Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte

So, I started my curly girl journey a month ago, because I wanted my waves/curls to last because they would straighten out after 1h of being awake. I discovered the whole journey, the products everything and I am desperately trying and it's not really working, or not as well as I hoped. There is a hit of an evolution but it's hard for me to see.

I think I'm a 2A-2C but I'm seeing some 3A in there as well when my hair just dried. So I co-wash once a week, deep condition once a week as well (shea moisture deep conditioner), use a leave in (lush rnb) and use a gel (eco styler) for hold. I apply my styling products right after washing and blotting (I blot my hair with a t-shirt) scrunch all the products in, plop it and leave it to air dry, once a month I clarify. I don't really know what to do when my hair is dry for frizz or to refresh them, i wet them a little and put more leave in and gel and it looks okayish but it's still very frizzy. When my curls/waves have a weird shape i'm at a loss. Like a lot of my locks lost their shape and the back of my head of hair is pretty much straight, same for the curls underneath, a lot of the curls are straightened out or stringy, the clumps are super small except one curl. Sometimes they come to life but it's barely there. Anyway, So on washing day after it dried my hair looks good, not perfect but really nice, low frizz, nice curl pattern... And then I wake up the next day and they start falling apart again and it just gets worse as the week goes. I don't know what I am doing wrong, any experienced curly girls with tips are very welcome because I am desperate, I honestly about to give up and cry :(

Oh and just fiy before I started my journey all I used was shampoo, conditioner and leave in conditioner and my curls were gone. I found co-washing helps my oily scalp, it barely gets greasy anymore, i have no scalp itchiness anymore and most of my dandruff is gone so I think my hair is just very very dry.

Best Answer

  • rabarrabar Posts: 64 Curl Connoisseur
    Accepted Answer
    I want to try another gel i think because my curls aren't really clumping, and when hey do and scrunch out the crunch, the crunchy look stays but the clumps don't so then it looks super stringy. Which gel/styler do you use? 
    Right now I'm using Suave Max Hold Sculpting Gel; it's not curly-girl-method approved, because it does contain parabens (the concern with parabens is that they maybe might be linked to breast cancer, but it's going onto my hair, and not being absorbed into my skin, and I'm not eating it).  It's an inexpensive gel, and I use a lot of it.  To get my curls to clump, I only rinse out some of my conditioner after I wash my hair.  Then, with my hair sopping wet, I apply a generous amount of gel (about the size of an egg in it's shell, in total; my hair reaches my lower back when wet) with a modified, light-handed praying hands-like method, then I scrunch, scrunch, scrunch.  Then I plop in an old cotton t-shirt, and leave the t-shirt for about 30-45 minutes.  When I take the shirt off, my hair is still very wet, but usually there isn't much frizz at this point (if I do it just right), and then I let it air-dry the rest of the day, trying not to touch it.  This is the only way I have tried that I can actually get my curls to clump without being frizzy or stringy.  Now, this doesn't always work--sometimes I still get too much frizz, usually if I don't put in enough gel, or if I don't leave enough conditioner in it, or if at any point after rinsing I rake my hair (raking makes my curls look stringy).  That is why I apply my gel the way that I do.  Sometimes I diffuse dry if I can't let it air dry, but I usually know before it's dry whether it will look okay or not (because it will be extremely frizzy even while it's wet), and then I don't bother with drying--I just put it up in a bun or twist if I have to leave the house.  I don't scrunch out my crunch--my hair just gets fluffy and/or frizzy.  I find that after I sleep on it, it is not crunchy the next morning.

    Just fyi, I'm cleansing with DevaCurl Low-Poo Delight and usually conditioning with Suave Essentials Tropical Coconut Conditioner, about every two, three, or four days (depends on how lazy I'm feeling).  I do not use a separate leave-in conditioner.  And I've been experimenting with massaging my scalp with diluted tea tree oil, and leaving it for about 10-30 minutes, before cleansing once a week, to help with my seborrheic dermatitis.

    I have never personally slept on a satin or silk pillowcase, but I have considered getting one, because sometimes my satin bonnet slides off my hair by the time I wake up, but not every time.  I would probably still use the bonnet if I got the pillowcase, because when it stays in place, it keeps my hair still, so my hairs cannot rub against one another or anything else.  I believe this is what prevents extra frizz for me on days two and three.

    I really, really do recommend reading the book--so much can get lost in the translation when you're only getting info off the internet, and it's a really good book!  Your local library may have it, so you wouldn't even have to buy it (although it's not that expensive to buy it).

    I hope this helps.  What I like about trying a new technique is that it doesn't cost anything.  The technique I described above did not work for me with the Eco Styler gel (even after diluting it), and I haven't tried another gel other than the Suave gel, so I can't really give any opinion on other, more expensive, curly-method-approved gels.  But remember, just because it works for me doesn't guarantee that it will work for your curls; but don't give up, just try another way!  Good luck!
    rabar
    2c/3a/3b, coarse, med-high porosity, medium density
    formerly CG method

Answers

  • rabarrabar Posts: 64Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    edited April 22
    Hi @Darkghettounicorn!  It may take more time to see consistent curls, so don't give up!  

    Are you trying the actual curly girl method?  Have you read the book by Lorraine Massey, or are you just going by what you've found on the internet?  If you haven't read the book (Curly Girl:  the Handbook), I highly recommend you read it.  Information on the internet isn't always reliable.

    What are you doing with your hair before you go to bed?  That may have a lot to do with why you can't get more than a day out of your curls.  I sleep with my hair inside of a satin bonnet--this cuts down on my frizz, if I didn't have much after drying on my wash day.  For me, some wash days are better than others.  Like this morning, I followed my usual routine and it didn't look good after I plopped my hair, so I wore it up in a bun all day.  But a few days ago when I washed it, it looked really good, and I got three days out of that wash.

    For me, frizz is a never-ending battle; it is there no matter what I do.  I have not found a way to get rid of it once my hair is dry, nor have I found a way to get rid of it while my hair is still wet.  Some days I can accept the frizz; other days I wear my hair up.

    I'm sorry, I really am not an expert on what you might want to try.  There are so many ways to apply products, and to dry hair, and which products to use--and unfortunately just because one technique or product works on one person's hair, does not mean that it will work on anyone else's hair.  For example, I've tried using the Eco Styler Gel on my hair, and it made my hair stick together in crunchy, non-curly clumps, but if your curls look good with it, you may want to keep using it.  You may want to try more gel, or less gel...most of it's trial and error; all I can say is don't give up, and just keep trying!

    It might be helpful to write down what you try, and what results you got.  And sometimes the weather plays a part in it, and we can't do anything about that.  Hope this helps some.  Good luck!
    rabar
    2c/3a/3b, coarse, med-high porosity, medium density
    formerly CG method
  • Guide 65Guide 65 Posts: 1,984Registered Users, Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    Welcome to CurlTalk!

    What products do you use for cowash and condition?  The Lush leave in is not CG friendly.  I believe it has silicones.  I don't think there's any Lush products good for CG.  Get something different - Giovanni Direct Leave In is good, or Kinky Curly Knot Today.  I just use my regular conditioner as a leave in.

    Do  a clarifying wash to get rid of the cones.  Use a regular sulfate shampoo, just make sure there's no silicones in it.  Then try again, and see if your hair turns out any better.

    For holding the curls through the night, I put my hair in a pineapple and sleep on a silk pillowcase.  Bonnets are good too, and some people use a buff.
    Formerly known as Janiegirl
    2B/2C, fine hair, low density, mixed porosity, protein loving hair
    Current products:
    Changing up my shampoos because I can't find one I like
    Deva Curl One Condition (original formula)
    Innersense I Create Volume
    Deva Curl Ultra Defining Gel
  • BrittanyMBrittanyM Posts: 1,218Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Yes, definitely let us know how you are preserving overnight. A pineapple stretches out my curls so I’ve started using a stain bonnet only.
  • DarkghettounicornDarkghettounicorn Posts: 5Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    @rabar Hello thanks for the replies girls I appreciate it.
    I used to leave my hair in a silk scarf because it is too short for putting it up in a pineapple, but it would always fall off, i might want to get silk pillowcases maybe, do you think that would work? Because right now i am not doing anything to it when i sleep. And i didn't read the book, I found out about the method online, and i looked a a bunch of wavies' routines to help me, and used a bunch of infographics to help me with the different techniques. I just tried the bowl method i don't know if it will work.
    I want to try another gel i think because my curls aren't really clumping, and when hey do and scrunch out the crunch, the crunchy look stays but the clumps don't so then it looks super stringy. Which gel/styler do you use? 

    @Guide 65 the RnB by lush has no silicones in it, i won't repurchase it though because it is too expensive, i tried another one by As I Am the light coconut leave in, it made my hair feel like straw. I will try the giovanni then. For cowash i use a generic conditioner i found, it has no silicones or sls in it. I use it to condition as well, but typically i use the shea moisture mask to condition. I clarified my hair with a mild shampoo that has sls in it and rinsed with ACV and it looked really nice after drying.
  • DarkghettounicornDarkghettounicorn Posts: 5Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    @rabar thank you so much for all of your tips, from what I see am I already applying a lot of the techniques you said myself, i thing i need to find a different gel/styler then. I will look into getting the book too.

    Just a last little question, how do you deal with your part? I know i also cannot rake my hair otherwise the curls end up being stringy, and doing my part makes my hair stringy too. 
  • Guide 65Guide 65 Posts: 1,984Registered Users, Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    I don't do anything with my part until I've diffused for a few minutes first.  (I don't plop, I just go straight to diffusing.)  Everything up until then has been done upside down and side-to-side.  Once I'm done with all that and I stand up straight, I try to let it part where it wants.  If I don't like that, I'll just move the clumps over until it looks pretty good.  Once in a while i have to separate the clumps, but I try not to. 

    A different thing I used to do was to comb when the conditioner was in my hair and part it then.  I still did more stuff upside down, but the part seemed to stay fairly well through all the rinsing and squishing and everything.
    Formerly known as Janiegirl
    2B/2C, fine hair, low density, mixed porosity, protein loving hair
    Current products:
    Changing up my shampoos because I can't find one I like
    Deva Curl One Condition (original formula)
    Innersense I Create Volume
    Deva Curl Ultra Defining Gel
  • rabarrabar Posts: 64Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    @rabar thank you so much for all of your tips, from what I see am I already applying a lot of the techniques you said myself, i thing i need to find a different gel/styler then. I will look into getting the book too.

    Just a last little question, how do you deal with your part? I know i also cannot rake my hair otherwise the curls end up being stringy, and doing my part makes my hair stringy too. 
    Once I take the t-shirt off of my head, I look in the mirror to see where the curls fall.  If it looks like a tangled mess, I flip my hair forward so that my head's upside down, then very quickly flip it back.  This "straightens out" the mess of wet curls without me having to touch them (when I touch them while they're wet, they get stringy and/or frizzy).  I may have to do this "violent" flip a couple of times before the curls finally lie down nice and evenly.  (If you wear glasses, take them off before flipping back and forth.  If you have balance or inner-ear fluid problems or vertigo, I don't recommend this!)

    I let the part lie wherever it ends up--usually about in the middle.  I have a very round face, and sometimes a middle part makes it look rounder, so I will take the one curl clump in front just to the right of the part, and flip it over to the left side of my face.  This gives me the illusion of a side part without actually moving all of my hair (the rest of the hair has a middle part).  I don't have to touch all of the hair (and therefore can't mess up all of the hair), and it prevents the lop-sided look I get when I do side-part all of my hair (too much volume on one side, barely anything on the other).

    If the hair flipping doesn't work for you, you may want to get one of those skinny combs with the pointy end, or a skewer or chopstick, and pick your clumps apart with that to form a part--that would keep your fingers out of the wet mess, and may work better for your curls than using fingers.
    rabar
    2c/3a/3b, coarse, med-high porosity, medium density
    formerly CG method
  • WallseyWallsey Posts: 15Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Novice
    There's some awesome advice already here! I started the CG method in January so I'm not super knowledgeable, but my main advice is just to stick with it! It's massively frustrating some days so you are not alone. I think we see the before and after pics and get really excited but the reality is it takes a lot of time and persevering to get there. My advice for the beginning is to keep it simple. When I started I got lots of different products and tried lots of combos and my hair felt so good and got really curly, and then it just went awful. Like in one wash day, it was just a disaster, and it stayed that way for ages. The problem was I has no idea what had caused the issue because I was using so many things, so now I try to use the same products regularly to give my hair the time to see if it likes them. Then you have a baseline, so if you introduce a new product and your hair goes weird you know why.
     
    I nearly always lose the curl definition by next day, and so do a lot of curlies, even the ones who have super healthy hair and have been doing this for years. Curly Susie on YouTube has the same problem and has some amazing videos you might find helpful! I use a satin pillowcase and that has really helped with the health of my hair. I have a short bob so I can't pineapple. I've tried sleeping in a buff but it makes me hair sore. Another thing to think about is your hair porosity, rather than focusing on hair type. My hair is really porous so I tend to use heavy products and oils which are a no no for a lot of wavies. This was really helpful because a lot of products recommended by other wavies are too light for my hair. The oils really help with frizz, which I have a lot of. I recently tried rice water rinses and my hair really liked that! Again, if you have a baseline you can start experimenting and seeing what your hair likes, plus it can save on spending loads of money straight away. I went straight for the Devacurl products because I thought that would get results quickly. Not that they're not awesome, and your hair may love them, but they're pricey and I would suggest splurging on higher-end products once you get an idea of what works for your hair. 

    This ended up much longer than I planned! I mainly wanted to say hello and don't get discouraged! Good luck!


  • DarkghettounicornDarkghettounicorn Posts: 5Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    @Guide 65 @rabar @Wallsey Thank you guys so much!

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file