The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm kind of confused. I thought you knew him enough to know that it wasn't feeling good for you? Is that you are wanting him to initiate spending time together? 
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine said:
    I'm kind of confused. I thought you knew him enough to know that it wasn't feeling good for you? Is that you are wanting him to initiate spending time together? 
    Right. He does not take the initiative to ever spend time together. I have to do it all. Occasionally he hints, in really surprising ways, but it's not what i'm used to. He will tell me directly, if I ask, that he really likes me. But his very passive/inconsiderate approach to dating always throws me.

    And he does not explain things to me, things I would have no way of knowing, so there are always misunderstandings. (e.g., we had discussed going on a cruise around the first of the year, which would be his first time leaving the country. He was really dragging his feet picking up a passport application and I was getting annoyed, bc if I'd known we were not going, I might have planned to visit my mother. Eventually, I just chalked it up to his not being interested in going. And I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just level w/ me and say he was not interested...it made me think he was he not being truthful w/ me. Come to find out, he still has not bought his daughter the car he was supposed to have bought her back in Sept. Well, I had no idea he had not bought the car. Nor did I know the cruise was contingent on him buying the car. I would have expected the first time I "nagged" him about getting his passport application, he would have told me he has still not bought the car so we will have to push the cruise date back until he buys it...that he would inform me when he buys the car or give me a ball park date of when he might buy it.) He assumes I know these things and am willing to quietly accommodate whatever he's got going on. He doesn't understand why he needs to discuss this stuff, that I can't read his mind. He can't put himself in my shoes. (Which, fr ppl who don't know, are major blindspots for men w/ AS.)

    Also there was a bunch of crazy BS surrounding us deleting our profiles from the dating site. Even tho he is the one who initiated the discussion about us deleting our profiles, he never deleted his. But I deleted mine. And there was no explanation. Just him getting annoyed when I asked him if he had deleted it. I got fed up and felt he was being manipulative and I created a new profile. Which apparently hurt his feeling....tho IDK why, as his profile is still up, too. 

    There are certain aspects of dealing w/ him (mostly texting and planning things) that are very frustrating. And that trigger my temper. But I know he needs peace and hates confrontation, so I took a major step back. But I just can't stay away from him.




  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Why is it difficult to spend more time with him?
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    Why is it difficult to spend more time with him?
    I want to spend time with him. But he does not take the initiative to ever spend time w/ me. And when I try to take the initiative, the communication on his part is so unhelpful and confusing. It's not anything I've ever experienced before and I cannot adequately explain it. But the frustration that results sometimes leaves me in tears or close to. I need an Aspergers Whisperer!

    Another example. So after my movie date saturday night w/ S, I texted T. Conversation (text and in person) went something like this, paraphrasing:

    Me: Hi
    T: Hi
    Me: Wyd?
    T: Nothing
    Me: Can I come over?
    Me: Well?
    Me: I'll be driving by in 15 mins so let me know asap plz.
    Me: I'm outside. Just tell me if you don't want any company and i'll leave. No biggie.
    Me: OK, I'm leaving. Good night.
    T: Why are you leaving?!
    Me: You didn't respond. I didn't know if you wanted company.
    T: I just took a shower! I left the door open for you.
    Me: Ok...I did not know that. I was about to leave. Why didn't you give me an "OK" or something?
    T: IDK. Does it matter? You're here.
    Me: uhhhh barely. I was going to just keep driving home. Seemed like you didn't want me to come by.
    T: Does that mean you're mad at me?
    Me: No but...
    T: I've got a lot of cleaning supplies out.
    Me: OK....


    Then after that, once we're inside, we're fine and everything is normal. But that's one (pretty tame) example of how we almost didn't see each other and the odd communication and inability to see my perspective.

    Yes, the shower thing w/ no response has happened before so I decided to chance it and swing by.
     





  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    That is confusing.  Are you suppose to read his mind?  What would happen if you didn't contact him again and waited for him to contact you?  Do you think he would?
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    This may not be relevant.  I watched Dr Phil today.  There was a woman who was left at the alter.  They were still in contact with each other & she was considering getting back with him.  Her family & friends were against this.  Talking to Dr Phil she talked about all his good attributes.  Dr Phil reminded her that he left her at the alter on their wedding day.  He said that she loved who she wanted him to be & not who he was.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think you need to really drill it into his head that it is a big deal that you cant read his mind! And yes it does matter and you really want to be with him but can't because of this. If he cares enough, he'll fix it. When he asked if you were mad at him, did you explain what you were feeling? What does 'no, but..' mean?
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine, I thought it was a bit weird that he would ask if she was mad.  It was like he knew what he was doing would upset SL.  I don't like that.  Almost like some kind of a game or test.  Also and this is just me (not judging) if I texted a man that I was in his area & wanted to come by & got no response, I would not have just showed up.  If a man did this to me I would have been turned off & felt my privacy was being violated. This did happen to me recently with a POF person.  I never saw him again.  I felt a little stalked.  BUT I am a very private person, in my space.  People know not to just show up.  My family is fine & my bff.  Not anyone else.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think he asked if she was mad based on her previous couple of responses but he couldn't figure out why she responded like that. It seems like he misread and thought she was going to come by and he didn't realize he had to respond right then. Or he forgot to and doesn't realize how annoying that is. If he has aspergers, its definitely not a game but really just being that clueless. But if she can't communicate directly with him, which seems like she can't, i dotn see anything changing.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    Josephine, I thought it was a bit weird that he would ask if she was mad.  It was like he knew what he was doing would upset SL.  I don't like that.  Almost like some kind of a game or test.  Also and this is just me (not judging) if I texted a man that I was in his area & wanted to come by & got no response, I would not have just showed up.  If a man did this to me I would have been turned off & felt my privacy was being violated. This did happen to me recently with a POF person.  I never saw him again.  I felt a little stalked.  BUT I am a very private person, in my space.  People know not to just show up.  My family is fine & my bff.  Not anyone else.  
    He has aspergers. Not a game or test. 
    I don't like popping up; that's the frustration; the communication and mind blindness are so bad I have to resort to doing this sort of thing just to see each other. This is why we don't see each other as much and why we have so many misunderstandings. You asked why we can't just spend more time together and I shared that conversation as an example of why things don't go smoothly when trying to plan stuff.

    But we have been seeing each other since July so hopefully I'm not just some random chick stalking him.

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    That is confusing.  Are you suppose to read his mind?  What would happen if you didn't contact him again and waited for him to contact you?  Do you think he would?
    He has aspergers; so yes, he literally thinks I can read his mind. And he cannot read mine at all or sense even the most obvious of my feelings or thoughts. And cannot understand why she should try to or try to explain his.

    If I don't contact him, he'll eventually contact me but he'll be so sad and frustrated by that time; I hate doing that to him.

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    Josephine said:
    I think he asked if she was mad based on her previous couple of responses but he couldn't figure out why she responded like that. It seems like he misread and thought she was going to come by and he didn't realize he had to respond right then. Or he forgot to and doesn't realize how annoying that is. If he has aspergers, its definitely not a game but really just being that clueless. But if she can't communicate directly with him, which seems like she can't, i dotn see anything changing.

    Right; he thought I knew he was in the shower and left the door open. He thinks I know how he feels and what he thinks.

    Yeah the communication is horrible bc we both seem to assume one understands basic things about what the other wants that we clearly do not.

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    Josephine said:
    I think you need to really drill it into his head that it is a big deal that you cant read his mind! And yes it does matter and you really want to be with him but can't because of this. If he cares enough, he'll fix it. When he asked if you were mad at him, did you explain what you were feeling? What does 'no, but..' mean?
    (Are we no longer able to do multiple quotes anymore?)

    I wasn't mad but I was frustrated that he didn't text "OK" when I asked if I could come by. But I was so freaking happy to see him, I didn't even want to get into it. 

  • tinksaysbootinksaysboo Posts: 543Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    Josephine said:
    Do you like hanging out with him? If you do, that's fine. But i guess if it gets more frequent and he's having expectations I would make it clear you just want to be friends. He obviously wants to be more than friends. I'm assuming by your post that you don't anything more than friendship? And it seems like the sexual attraction is just not there. I totally agree with you on the bad sex and figuring that out before you catch feelings. If you're only hanging out a couple times a year, I'm not sure you need to bring anything up and enjoy the moment.

    Yes and no.  He is introverted like me.  When a conversation dies, my social anxiety creeps up and I feel pressure to get the conversation going.  It's not fun.  And with him, I feel its always me keeping it going. I'm a social introvert, so its easy for me, but I don't enjoy it. I do better with guys who have bigger personalities than me.  And with him, our conversations never flow naturally to a new topic.  There is always a moment of looking at each other like "whats next".  That being said, when we have something to talk about, I do enjoy it.  A couple years ago, I did want more.  But now, I am not interested in dating casually or having a new friend with benefit. 

    I think you are right, we only hang out a couple times a year, and it's always over craft beer.  Which is a hobby of both of ours.  In fact that's how we met.  I use to co-organize a craft beer meetup group.
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  • tinksaysbootinksaysboo Posts: 543Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    That sounds super frustrating @spiderlashes5000!  I dated a guy like that once.  It ended when he was supposed to come to a 4th of July party and meet all my friends.  He couldn't find parking so got frustrated and went home and then let me know he just bought a ticket to Montana (or some state that no one really thinks about) to work on his book in quiet.   When he came back he was super negative about city life and that's when I said "can't do this". 

    I think it's hard to balance the "I am not trying to nag you or control your life" with "I feel like this is something you should be sharing me".  
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018

    I think it's hard to balance the "I am not trying to nag you or control your life" with "I feel like this is something you should be sharing me".  
    Right, very hard. I hate to push too much (showing up on his doorstep) but he's not doing what he's supposed to.

    This wknd he tells me the only time he really feels alive is when we're together. :o OK then reply to my texts! :#

  • tinksaysbootinksaysboo Posts: 543Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    Right, very hard. I hate to push too much (showing up on his doorstep) but he's not doing what he's supposed to.

    This wknd he tells me the only time he really feels alive is when we're together. :o OK then reply to my texts! :#

    ugh.  non repliers and slow replies are such a pet peeve.  It takes two seconds, dude!   

    Understanding that his behavior his due to Asperger is one thing.   But I think you need to stop and ask, regardless of why, how does it make you feel?  People come with baggage that is out of their control, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.  You have feelings and emotions that also need to be considered.

    That being said, have you tried just being straight up "It bothers me when you assume I know things.   Can you try to be more responsive when I text".  or something like that. 

    Damn liking people who don't make it easy! 
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I don't mean to offend.  I'm just trying to understand this.  When you asked if you could come by his answer was, "Well"?  That would have meant a no to me.  You drove there anyway telling him you were on your way & then in front of his house.  He didn't respond until you told him you were leaving.  Then he says he thought you knew he was in the shower & the door was unlocked.  He asked if you were mad.  Is he able to function at a job?  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    I don't mean to offend.  I'm just trying to understand this.  When you asked if you could come by his answer was, "Well"?  That would have meant a no to me.  You drove there anyway telling him you were on your way & then in front of his house.  He didn't respond until you told him you were leaving.  Then he says he thought you knew he was in the shower & the door was unlocked.  He asked if you were mad.  Is he able to function at a job?  
    No, he didn't answer at all when I asked of he could come by; he took a shower. He assumed I knew it was OK for me to come by. And I suspected this might be the case since it happened before...so I went by.

    Yes, functions at his job.

    I think you just don't understand what Aspergers is and that's why you keep assigning motives that aren't there.





  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Right, very hard. I hate to push too much (showing up on his doorstep) but he's not doing what he's supposed to.

    This wknd he tells me the only time he really feels alive is when we're together. :o OK then reply to my texts! :#

    Understanding that his behavior his due to Asperger is one thing.   But I think you need to stop and ask, regardless of why, how does it make you feel?  People come with baggage that is out of their control, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.  You have feelings and emotions that also need to be considered.
    Right. So I stepped back and decided to date other ppl. But I just can't. When I remove all this noncommunication, he's like the best guy in the world. I'm just wondering how we can fix the noncommunication so we can enjoy the rest of our relationship...or if that is even possible.

  • tinksaysbootinksaysboo Posts: 543Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018

    Right. So I stepped back and decided to date other ppl. But I just can't. When I remove all this noncommunication, he's like the best guy in the world. I'm just wondering how we can fix the noncommunication so we can enjoy the rest of our relationship...or if that is even possible.

    Ah got it!  I've been there (trying to date others to get over a difficult one).  Do you think he might be more communicative as you guys become more comfortable with each other?   I have one friend with Asperger who became better at stuff like that after we were friends for a while.  

    Just throwing out some ideas:

    Maybe try to start something that can get you guys connecting regularly, like starting a Words with Friends game.  It's a small thing, but it can get him talking more and maybe eventually get more comfortable talking with you. 

    Call him out, in a more curious way.  Like when you get over to his place "hey did you get my text about the cruise?"  And when he says yea reply with "so, what are your thoughts".

    Plan to do something regularly where you might need check in, like stay in to cook dinner and movie on Friday night or go and play trivia somewhere.  Again, just something that requires some kind regular contact. 
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Why is it difficult to spend more time with him?
    I want to spend time with him. But he does not take the initiative to ever spend time w/ me. And when I try to take the initiative, the communication on his part is so unhelpful and confusing. It's not anything I've ever experienced before and I cannot adequately explain it. But the frustration that results sometimes leaves me in tears or close to. I need an Aspergers Whisperer!

    Another example. So after my movie date saturday night w/ S, I texted T. Conversation (text and in person) went something like this, paraphrasing:

    Me: Hi
    T: Hi
    Me: Wyd?
    T: Nothing
    Me: Can I come over?
    Me: Well?
    Me: I'll be driving by in 15 mins so let me know asap plz.
    Me: I'm outside. Just tell me if you don't want any company and i'll leave. No biggie.
    Me: OK, I'm leaving. Good night.
    T: Why are you leaving?!
    Me: You didn't respond. I didn't know if you wanted company.
    T: I just took a shower! I left the door open for you.
    Me: Ok...I did not know that. I was about to leave. Why didn't you give me an "OK" or something?
    T: IDK. Does it matter? You're here.
    Me: uhhhh barely. I was going to just keep driving home. Seemed like you didn't want me to come by.
    T: Does that mean you're mad at me?
    Me: No but...
    T: I've got a lot of cleaning supplies out.
    Me: OK....


    Then after that, once we're inside, we're fine and everything is normal. But that's one (pretty tame) example of how we almost didn't see each other and the odd communication and inability to see my perspective.

    Yes, the shower thing w/ no response has happened before so I decided to chance it and swing by.
     




    I'm reposting your conversation with him.  I wasn't saying anything becuz I don't understand his condition.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    edited December 2018


    I think it's hard to balance the "I am not trying to nag you or control your life" with "I feel like this is something you should be sharing me".  
    Right, very hard. I hate to push too much (showing up on his doorstep) but he's not doing what he's supposed to.

    This wknd he tells me the only time he really feels alive is when we're together. :oOK then reply to my texts! :#
    Did you tell him that? I'm confused. You say you want better communication but you are not communicating to him, but to us! LOL.


  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018

    Ah got it!  I've been there (trying to date others to get over a difficult one).  Do you think he might be more communicative as you guys become more comfortable with each other?   I have one friend with Asperger who became better at stuff like that after we were friends for a while.  

    Just throwing out some ideas:

    Maybe try to start something that can get you guys connecting regularly, like starting a Words with Friends game.  It's a small thing, but it can get him talking more and maybe eventually get more comfortable talking with you. 

    Call him out, in a more curious way.  Like when you get over to his place "hey did you get my text about the cruise?"  And when he says yea reply with "so, what are your thoughts".

    Plan to do something regularly where you might need check in, like stay in to cook dinner and movie on Friday night or go and play trivia somewhere.  Again, just something that requires some kind regular contact.

     SPIDERLASHES5000 said:
    The communication btwn us is sooooooo much better (and almost perfect) when we're together in person. It's like night and day. If we could be together more, like designated date nights or something, most of these issues would go away. At least for me. In most of my past relationships, we had designated date nights. I wish we could do that now. I'm going to try again. But like you have to strike a good balance btwn taking control of someone's life & just suggesting things.

    Yes, i asked him several times to pick up his passport application (bc i don't want to plan the trip without him having a passport & he kept saying "i will." But what he should have said is "i won't be able to go until i buy the car & i will let u know when i do." And he also needs to request time off from work. And when i ask him if he's done that he kept saying "i will." But what he should have said is, "we can only do that once a quarter so I'll let u know when that time comes." Coz how was i supposed to know how his job handkes vacation tines requests? He finally said he's fine w anything i decide beyond that. 

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine said:


    I think it's hard to balance the "I am not trying to nag you or control your life" with "I feel like this is something you should be sharing me".  
    Right, very hard. I hate to push too much (showing up on his doorstep) but he's not doing what he's supposed to.

    This wknd he tells me the only time he really feels alive is when we're together. :oOK then reply to my texts! :#
    Did you tell him that? I'm confused. You say you want better communication but you are not communicating to him, but to us! LOL.


    Yes, i have told him.  :#
    I mean, he replies much of the time. But still so many little miscommunications.

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I'm just trying to understand.  Plz don't get upset with me.  I really want the best for you.  So, if I have this right he can make it to his work outs & can work a job, but can't schedule time for you & can't communicate with you, so you are the one who has to take the initiative in many situations.  He seems to get himself to the gym & I wouldn't think anyone would be holding his hand at work.  Is it just the social situations where he has a problem?
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018

    Me: Hi
    T: Hi
    Me: Wyd?
    T: Nothing
    Me: Can I come over?
    Me: Well?
    Me: I'll be driving by in 15 mins so let me know asap plz.
    Me: I'm outside. Just tell me if you don't want any company and i'll leave. No biggie.
    Me: OK, I'm leaving. Good night.
    T: Why are you leaving?!
    Me: You didn't respond. I didn't know if you wanted company.
    T: I just took a shower! I left the door open for you.
    Me: Ok...I did not know that. I was about to leave. Why didn't you give me an "OK" or something?
    T: IDK. Does it matter? You're here.
    Me: uhhhh barely. I was going to just keep driving home. Seemed like you didn't want me to come by.
    T: Does that mean you're mad at me?
    Me: No but...
    T: I've got a lot of cleaning supplies out.
    Me: OK....


    Then after that, once we're inside, we're fine and everything is normal. But that's one (pretty tame) example of how we almost didn't see each other and the odd communication and inability to see my perspective.

    Yes, the shower thing w/ no response has happened before so I decided to chance it and swing by.
     




    I'm reposting your conversation with him.  I wasn't saying anything becuz I don't understand his condition.  
    I know.
    You're misreading it. He never said "Well?" I said "Well?"
     

    He didnt respond at all. He assumed i knew he'd be fine w me coming by & he got in the shower. Then i was frustrated but he didnt know why. I shared this conversation to show the most recent instance of a miscommunication that almost cost us an evening together. 

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018
    I'm just trying to understand.  Plz don't get upset with me.  I really want the best for you.  So, if I have this right he can make it to his work outs & can work a job, but can't schedule time for you & can't communicate with you, so you are the one who has to take the initiative in many situations.  He seems to get himself to the gym & I wouldn't think anyone would be holding his hand at work.  Is it just the social situations where he has a problem?
    Not mad at all. Just don't want to feel like I'm hogging the thread or something. 

    Yes! Aspergers is a disorder in social & emotional communication!

    He's incredibly smart & capable. Except in these areas. He does not express himself socially or emotionally in ways that are typical. And he has a hard time interpreting the emotions & social cues communicated by others.

  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    edited December 2018
    Josephine said:


    I think it's hard to balance the "I am not trying to nag you or control your life" with "I feel like this is something you should be sharing me".  
    Right, very hard. I hate to push too much (showing up on his doorstep) but he's not doing what he's supposed to.

    This wknd he tells me the only time he really feels alive is when we're together. :oOK then reply to my texts! :#
    Did you tell him that? I'm confused. You say you want better communication but you are not communicating to him, but to us! LOL.


    Yes, i have told him.  :#
    I mean, he replies much of the time. But still so many little miscommunications.
    Next time he doesn't or miscommunicates, point it out again. He won't know which parts to fix because he doesn't know it's an issue. It doesn't need to be an argument, just said matter of factly.
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2018


    Me: I'm outside. Just tell me if you don't want any company and i'll leave. No biggie.

    T: I've got a lot of cleaning supplies out.
    Me: OK....

    Ok, so Thing #1:  Instead of saying "Just tell me if you don't want any company and i'll leave",  consider saying "Let me know if you want company or not" so he has to give an answer.  I could see him thinking, "She said to let her know if I DON'T want company. I do want company, so I don't need to say anything."

    Thing #2: "I've got a lot of cleaning supplies out."  WTF? 

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!

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