Third big chop and I still hate my curl pattern

ArtisticAngArtisticAng Posts: 8Registered Users Curl Neophyte
This year, I wanted to try new things that could make my life feel worthwhile. One of those things was trying out new styles for my natural hair. I've been natural for about 8 years. Even though I do not regret going natural, I still hate my hair and how I look. Throughout most of my natural hair journey, I've had my hair pressed in order to look presentable and be "accepted" by supervisors, co-workers, classmates, and others in society. It wasn't until this year that I decided to stop using direct heat on my hair, try to embrace my natural texture (I don't know if I'm a 4b/4c mix or something else, based on multiple tests), and do my third big chop.

I do not regret doing it again...but I thought my curl pattern(s) would become more "natural". It seems like one side has a more defined curl pattern, while the other is loose, but frizzy. I may be still transitioning, but my hair still had curl patterns that clashed.

After wearing my TWA for a month, I still felt that my hair didn't look good. So, today, I asked my stylist to do a tapered cut. She does excellent work, but I still don't like how my coils/curls look. I have a fat face and I'm overweight. :cry:

I know my hair can grow back eventually, but even then, I feel I would feel the same about my curl pattern and myself. I also know I could wear protective styles (braids, etc.), weaves, or wigs...but I've tried them in the past and did not like how they felt (physically and emotionally). I've used styling creams and gels to try to blend the textures in Only way of coping may be to just continue to improve how I take care of my hair and wear a scarf more often when I'm not at home.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has advice for how to accept my hair in its current state, how to grow it out, and how to enjoy my hair journey. I have no idea what hairstyle fits me...

Comments

  • nc_adminnc_admin Administrator Posts: 50Administrators Administrator
    You might want to look for photos of other people who have similar curl patterns and see that they are beautiful and that they accept their curls and love them and you can too!
  • Hullacurls92Hullacurls92 Posts: 28Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I know what you mean! I have always wanted my curl pattern to be a certain way but at 25 I have realized I have to love my hair and it’s uniqueness! For growing your hair make sure you do scalp massages with essential oils like peppermint. Hif3licia on YouTube has a great video on how to do that! Also make sure you are deep conditioning and truly taking care of your hair! I know it takes a long time to wash it every week but it needs all of your love and attention because our hair is so dry and needs moisture!! 
  • ArtisticAngArtisticAng Posts: 8Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    edited December 2017
    Thank you both for your feedback. I have been looking at photos of others, but it's been hard to know if I have a similar hair type to them. My hairstylist seemed to think I'm between a curly and coily pattern...but she couldn't determine my hair type. I may have to wait until my hair gets longer to determine if I'm truly a mix of 4b and 4c hair. I hope I can learn to love my curls someday...

    Right now, I've been deep conditioning once a week and using organ oil with other products for the L.C.O. method, which I do daily. Maybe I need to switch to peppermint. I will look into it. I have fine hair and low porosity, so I've been using the SheaMoisture Low Porosity line. My hair's been growing, but it's been hard to tell how healthy my hair is now that I'm moisturizing daily. 
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Administrators, Moderators Administrator
    @ArtisticAng ;  .... time for a check in!  How are you liking your hair now? Are you adjusting to the longer length?  You might find this article helpful. 

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • TainaraTainara Posts: 7Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    @ArtisticAng I know exactly how you feel. Also for me it's being difficult to accept and like my natural hair. But I decided to don t fallow what we were taught about our hair, style and body should be. Every single thing in Nature is beautiful, unique and special. I got frustrating many times looking this beautiful woman on TV, Instagram etc, but every one of us can be beautiful as they are. It can start inner and slowly it will be showed exterior. You already did a the biggest change that is the big chop, no many people are ready to embrace BC and you did. My little advice for you, Invest now in yourself with make-up and accessories for hair, for sure you can find many ideas for your hair patterns. Try castor oil in the hair root, also Biotin vitamin is super helpful. And remember you aren t alone in this journey there many of us with the same trouble.
    Good luck and remember, you are beautiful and unique.
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Administrators, Moderators Administrator
    Tainara said:
    @ArtisticAng I know exactly how you feel. Also for me it's being difficult to accept and like my natural hair. But I decided to don t fallow what we were taught about our hair, style and body should be. Every single thing in Nature is beautiful, unique and special. I got frustrating many times looking this beautiful woman on TV, Instagram etc, but every one of us can be beautiful as they are. It can start inner and slowly it will be showed exterior. You already did a the biggest change that is the big chop, no many people are ready to embrace BC and you did. My little advice for you, Invest now in yourself with make-up and accessories for hair, for sure you can find many ideas for your hair patterns. Try castor oil in the hair root, also Biotin vitamin is super helpful. And remember you aren t alone in this journey there many of us with the same trouble.
    Good luck and remember, you are beautiful and unique.
    Beautiful and so uplifting!

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • ArtisticAngArtisticAng Posts: 8Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    @Tainara Thank you for the encouragement. It's been hard for me to deal with my internal issues, but I'm trying my best to learn about myself and discover how I can live an authentic life. I'm considering changing the leave-in conditioner and oil I use. I've been using argan oil for the LCO method and the Shea Moisture Low Porosity Leave-In Conditioner since my big chop, but I may need to rotate and try some different products. It's reassuring that there are others who have done the big chop and experienced similar feelings. It makes me feel less alone. I just wish I could truly love myself without letting the negative thoughts and feelings I have about my hair and myself discount the positive things. Thank you again for your support and I wish you the best on your journey.

    @Gretchen Thank you for checking in! I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, I'm still uncomfortable with my hair length (longest hair of my tapered cut being 5 inches) and I'm still confused about my hair texture and type (maybe 4b/4c). I was considering using perm rods on my hair, but the back of my hair is still too short to comfortably fit on a perm rod. I've seen that it could be twisted somehow, based on videos online. But, when I've tried it, certain areas held curls while others either turned into waves or frizz. I've been moisturizing my hair almost everyday with the LCO method and deep conditioning it once a week (if not once every two weeks, when my weeks are hectic). But I haven't had it trimmed since getting my hair tapered around October 2017. My family said I shouldn't have it trimmed until it grows a little longer so I can retain some length.

    Now, I'm considering either getting it trimmed/shaped (my hair looks so uneven) or having a bob braids/any protective style done to help my hair grow and...cover and continue to take care of my natural hair underneath for a month. I'd really like to try braids, but I don't know if it's healthy for my hair. I was told from my recent stylist that it's fine-width. I will definitely reflect on the article you sent me. Thank you for your help!

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