Hair length and age.



  • curlyink3bcurlyink3b Posts: 41Registered Users
    I've noticed many older women (not saying "old"; they're just older than me, and i'm not old!) either wear hair shoulder length or shorter, or have it long and wear it up all the time. As many have said, it's a matter of personal preference. I'm 44, and my hair is about APL/BSL. Hubby loves the length, but I love the ease of short. My face is more flattered by the length, so it'll stay . . . for now.
    3b/3c, high porosity, fine strands but lots of em!

    APL/BSL when dry (bangs are to chin), but WL when wet.

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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Mine is about 3 inches shy of being waist length. The guy i'm dating says I can never cut it. Yeah, OK :alien:

  • CGSince2002CGSince2002 Posts: 1,073Banned Users
    When I started CG and my hair got healthier I let it grow a little longer than usual, maybe midback and it looked good on me, but then a few years later one day I looked at myself in the mirror and realized the hair seemed to just hand there dragging my face down, it was making me look older! So I ran and got it cut, it was summer too in S. FL so I got a chin length bob which was instantly rejuvenating... but I realize that's not the case with everyone. I, for one, I'm very happy that today we make our own rules. I still remember when I was 29 or 30 a friend of mine (I was living in a small southern town...) told me her mother was telling her she needed to think of cutting her hair because she was turning 30. :sad3:

    As someone mentioned, a lot of, let's say, post-menopausal women, get their hair cut because it thins down, and other because even due to health reasons they can't "fuss" with longer hair anymore. I think then people associated the image of older women and shorter hair and expected everyone to "fit in", which I think violates individuality.

    I continued to cut my hair every summer and then letting it grow no longer than shoulder length and I loved the changes... But last year I got a b/f, while my hair was still pretty short, but he secretly liked long hair like most men. It so happened I was a little too broke to go get a haircut so I skipped the usual summer one. During the winter it grew like a weed and I at least needed a trim, but in reality I was ready to lop off half of it...
    but when I finally talked about getting a trim he nearly panicked... and although I like to do my own thing, since he's been so good to me I figured I could please him with that. As it turned out my hair ended up a little shorter than intended because of a bad haircut that had to be corrected but not as short as I would've wanted. But my hair grows so fast it's already a few inches below my shoulder and it's bothering me when it's airdrying so I wouldn't mind cutting it again, I just get bored with the same all the time, so to ease the boredom I've lightened it some and also changed the shade.
  • Sandy CoilsSandy Coils Posts: 662Registered Users
    I'm loving reading the comments. I'm 42 and I rarely go with "the norms". I also want the long magical :color: unicorn hair.

    I let my curly hair grow out for 5 years after big chopping and when it was straightened it was BSL. I loved it and so did my husband, but the stress of home shopping/buying drove me to cut, and cut, and cut! Now it's barely sweeping my shoulder - straightened! :neutral: I'm hating that I cut my hair and I am very anxious for it to grow back. I don't think I'll be cutting it this short ever again.

    I'll get back to relying on pinning my hair up and using awesome hair jewelry so as not to get bored with styling if I don't want to wear it down. Contrary to what those out there think of women of a certain age, my long hair made me feel super sexy. I think a woman should wear her hair in the way that makes her feel good, and not be dictated by family or what society thinks. Ugghhh, how dare they. LOL
    My Fotki

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  • SpecklaSpeckla Posts: 186Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Wear it how you want to wear it. Other people's opinion matter 0% when it comes to my own length. I'm growing back to hip while growing out the dye and letting my scalp tinsel take over...
  • SpecklaSpeckla Posts: 186Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    When I mentioned how cute my young co-workers would look with pixie cuts, one immediately looked panicked, and said, "Guys don't like short hair! Cutting your hair into a pixie is the first nail in the coffin of middle age!"


    I'd reply, "That's ok. Guys don't have to get pixie cuts if they don't like them."
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ^^^Good one, Speck!
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
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  • AlexaAlexa Posts: 208Registered Users
    I think it depends on the person taking not just looks but also personality & lifestyle into the mix.
    I've gone from long to short (& brunette to blonde) & back again all my life, as a child my mum always cut it short so of course I wanted to grow it long, then when I was in my teens back in the 80’s all the girls who had long hair was because they were not allowed to have it cut short as was the fashion, so then I went short again. This pattern seems to have carried on over the years since.
    In the last 4 years I've gone from long to pixie to shoulder length & recently back to a layered bob just below the chin (when curly, which is how I wear it 99% of the time now)
    My decision to be this length is for a mixture of reasons really, working in the health service we are not allowed to have hair hanging around our shoulders & I just don’t feel that comfortable with myself with my hair all scraped back off my face anymore, also I like the freedom of a wash & go style that I don’t have to put up or worry about it blowing in my face when I'm outdoors (which is a real problem here in the North of England!) So at the moment shorter hair suits me & my lifestyle but that doesn't mean that by next month/year I will decide something completely different, I’d still love an edgy gamine short cut & I still love the long flowing locks look.
    Is’t it great to have the choice!
    U.K curly

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  • starznthingsstarznthings Posts: 49Registered Users
    I was never able to grow my hair much past my shoulders when I was young because the constant blow drying, straightening, you know the deal...was too cumbersome. Then when I became a curly girl, I was able to grow my hair well below bra length. When I decided to go gray, I got a jaw-length haircut and oh wow, was I nervous. I had never had short hair since I was like 11, and I was afraid I would look like a little poof-ball. I have always gotten Deva cuts since going naturally curly, so when I got my first short cut I was astounded that I was able to style it in the same manner as the long curls. Now, after several "just a little-bit shorter" cuts, I am all gray.

    I really like my hair just a little longer than jaw length, but am toying with the idea of longer hair again so that I can put it up. It's great knowing that if I grow it longer and it isn't becoming to my facial features anymore, or if I don't want to be bothered with long hair, I can have short curly hair and it looks adorable instead of being an advertisement for all the little dustballs you can pick up with a Swiffer. :alien:

    So....why did I start this reply? Oh yes. Wear you hair whatever length you want. You yourself will know if it looks good on you or not. It has nothing at all to do with your age, but everything to do with how you feel and if you like what you see in the mirror. A very wise hairdresser once told me....give yourself about 3 months to get used to anything that you feel is drastic (like finally being all gray). She was right. I feel the same goes for hair length, but that's just my opinion. Happy Turkey Day to you all.
    Once upon a time, on a clear moonlit night, I counted all the stars in the sky. :love10: :sleepy2:
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I read an article recently that older women shouldn't be cutting all their hair off. Shoulder length hair with some bangs will soften their look. I think it really depends on the woman & what looks best on them. I'm 63 & I look better with long hair and bangs.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Having just had my hair cut fairly short (trying to get it to 'meet' my very slowly growing out fringe!) I've decided I definitely suit it better a bit longer. I don't care that I'm over 50, it just looks better.
    3b in South Australia.
  • hennaredhennared Posts: 14Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I"m pushing 50, and I had always wanted long hair 'when I got older'. That is, until I dramatically, suddenly, thinned out a TON at age 41 :-(
    Putting aside for this thread why that is and what I've attempted to do to correct the problem (to no avail) ....
    If my hair was as thick and strong-stranded as it was back before hair loss, I'd for sure have it bra strap length or longer, now and going forward! But as it is, I feel it only looks healthy a bit longer than shoulder length at most. I'd hate really short hair (doesn't suit my face) on me, but now I finally understand why a lot of women do cut their hair as they get older. If your hair ages poorly (like mine), it's very hard to have it be long and still look cared for. For me, I find it's impossible!

    Ratty looking hair just is not a good look on anyone, no matter the age. But if you have great looking hair, I say GO FOR IT, whatever length you prefer!
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I know exactly how you feel hennared - mine's thinned too and if it starts getting past shoulder length it just looks ratty.
    3b in South Australia.
  • flcurlyflcurly Posts: 42Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    edited March 2018
    Just wanted to say that I made the big leap and went for a short haircut. Couldn’t be happier.

    I had been thinking about having it cut but could never find something that I liked and was afraid of finding someone who could actually pull it off!!!

    After watching the Walking Dead marathon over the holiday’s I decided to have my hair cut like Carol (Melissa McBride). Her hair is the same type as mine (looked like 3a, 3b in other former pictures).

    Mine turned out slightly different as my hair is really thick, but I still love it and wished I did it sooner! No problem with the humidity yet in the Treasure Coast in Florida. Wow, for me I am wishing I had all that time back that I spent on my hair.
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,355Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    wow! that is a great cut! if i ever get a pixie, i'd like mine to look like that.
    can you post a photo of your hair?

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
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  • CranMuffinCranMuffin Posts: 1Registered Users
    While I am now 40+ with super long hair, I keep thinking that one of these days I'll get a "serious" (i.e. short) haircut. I feel like I'm not respected as a professional when I leave my hair down in all it's glory, and a shorter cut (chin length and layered) would be more "grown up".

    But I love my hair too much to chop it all off, so I'm waiting until I lose 50 pounds before I go short (which pretty much means it will never happen).

    Does anyone else feel like long hair keeps you from being taken seriously?
  • RJKY74RJKY74 Posts: 24Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have a couple of theories on the hair length/age thing:

    1) Long, flowing hair is associated with youth, fertility, sexual availability. I think to some extent, women are expected to transcend that as they age, and stop trying to attract sexual partners.

    2) Youth, fertility, sexual availability can make people take you less seriously. I think some women cut their hair because they know that our culture devalues femininity, and they need to be taken seriously in business or politics.

    3) For some, cutting the hair short symbolizes unshackling oneself from the cultural expectation to a)be a certain kind of pretty and b)spend a lot of time and energy in front of the mirror.

    Personally, for me, short hair symbolizes not giving a **** whether men find me alluring or not. I plan to chop it all off when I hit 50, and my husband can go suck an egg if he doesn't like it.
  • SunnyinutahSunnyinutah Posts: 4Registered Users
    I agree with everyone here! Who cares what people "think" we should look like as we get older. I do believe the generations before us did cut their hair as they aged but I dont believe that it is something that we have to do. We should start the new trend! Long beautiful curls grey or not!

    I have been growing mine out. It was long when I was younger, then I had my second baby 14 years ago and thought.."CUT" but mistake. I should have left it alone!

    Now I am back to getting it long. Sucks because it is taking longer as I get older!

    Do what you feel is right for you, embrace decision and just think, those that maybe say to go short have straight hair so what do they know anyway :)

    Have a great day!
  • BlasianDouglaBlasianDougla Posts: 4Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I just hit my mid-40's and cut off about 15" to donate... ended up w/ my 1st pixie'ish cut ever. Shocked And I am totally loving it!

    I agree. Short, long, medium whatever, wear it however you want it. ;-)

    3a / 3b / 3c

    Yep... my hair is funky-weird like that. :cyclopsani:
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 20,729Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    --I'm located in Western PA.   --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.   --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.   --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.   
    --My CG and grey hair progress -   
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey -
  • bomegabomega Posts: 1,355Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Oh gosh, just wear your hair how you want!
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
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  • Redheadwalking2Redheadwalking2 Posts: 12Registered Users Curl Novice
    On Aging and Giving Far Fewer F words
    I'm 43 and, after 25 years of having bsl or longer hair, I got a longer in the front bob from a Deva stylist. It took two cuts over 6 months to get my courage up and I am really happy with the results. I'm 2c-3a and was in a serious car wreck 3 years ago. After 3 years of a difficult recovery I am walking with a cane. The first 2 years, I couldn't. get upstairs and had to bathe using the sink or hose on the back deck in the summer, so maintaining good conditioning etc. became really hard and I never wore my hair down. I felt old and discouraged; the one thing that I felt pretty about wasn't working and needed a change.
    Like all of you, I was curly before there were any products for white women's curls. (Remember how psyched we were when Paul Mitchel made a leave in in the mid-90s,and how we were advised to add lots of Dippity Do for the wet look? Yikes!) In the late 80s, my hair was butchered right at most awkward stage that left me with a short mullet about 5" on the sides and 8" in the back and I vowed that I'd never cut it above shoulder length. 

    Afger all of that gistory and those three hard years that also included death in the family and loss of employment, cuttin my hair felt like letting go of the past rather than dragging it around and trying to fix it. 

    I feel even feel better about my white streak coming in at the front; it could look kind of cool. In my case, a modern shorter haircut lifted my face and I feel like a more sophisticated grown up for the first time. 

    If there is any bonus to being disabled and single it is the freedom that comes with having to accept one's limitations and still ;slowly and with a cane in my case,) move forward without illusions or delusions of being adored by the opposite sex. I kept my hair long out of fear and because dating "experts" (many of whom are, oddly enough, single and over 50,)  like the millionaire matchmaker who preached that no man could've ever love me with red, curly hair. Add the fact that it's shorter now, and I'm a lost cause. Maybe she's right, but I no longer give one flying fig about dating. I feel free and lighter, as if I could wear red lipstick (another no-no for us old ladies apparently.) 
    To those who try to shame us and tell us that older women are flawed and damaged goods in need of serious cosmetic intervention or who tell us to shrink into the floor and admit our unworthiness, I say, mind your business! I no longer value your  opinions. These unwritten Byzantine codes about everything to bare legs and skirt length to the always nebulous term "professional" only really apply to women. I've never seen a man worry about looking authorirative bur approachable. Here in Microsoft land, some of the most successful men look like 80s roadies for Phish while the women must emulate models.

    Bottom line: when you almost die, you realize that life is much too short to put off happiness or grant others the power to bestow out or take it away from you. If you want long curls when you're 90, do it! If you want a pixie cut, bright colors, etc. do it! I'm done with one-size fits all rules. Some, like not wearing mini-skirts to work, are common sense, but many exist just to make us feel inferior. Brutal honesty about our flaws and unique positive attributes and radical acceptance of who we are makes a woman of "a certain age," more beautiful than any wrinkle cream can. Do what makes you feel pretty, be healthy and live joyously free. 
  • ellajellaj Posts: 826Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    This is, by far, one of the most insightful posts that I have read, @Readheadwalking2. Thank-you for sharing your thoughts. <3

    Type: 2c
    Density: medium
    Porosity: high
    Thickness: fine

  • WavyKfromNJWavyKfromNJ Posts: 853Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Bangs are cheaper than Botox.

    I still don't have plans for either.
    2b, 2c,
    High Porosity - Very Fine Hair

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  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,031Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos
  • ellajellaj Posts: 826Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    Your hair is beautiful @banjocurl, both the curls and the color. Is your hair still waist length when wet? 

    Type: 2c
    Density: medium
    Porosity: high
    Thickness: fine

  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,031Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    thank you!! the color is completely natural since 2010. hair is a bit shorter now--havent changed the profile in a few years. its about BSL when wet now...  i am 68 years old already!!
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    Beautiful, @Readheadwalking2!  Thank you for sharing.

    Gretchen co-founder

    You are beautiful!
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    @banjocurl! Wow!  Gorgeous! And all natural — amazing 

    Gretchen co-founder

    You are beautiful!
  • ellajellaj Posts: 826Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    banjocurl said:
    thank you!! the color is completely natural since 2010. hair is a bit shorter now--havent changed the profile in a few years. its about BSL when wet now...  i am 68 years old already!!
    You are welcome @banjocurl. So you are 68 years young!  I am in the process of growing my own hair longer.  Thanks for the photo inspiration!

    Type: 2c
    Density: medium
    Porosity: high
    Thickness: fine

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