Only Curly in the Family
Today I was at dinner with my mom and I was asking her a hair question and she said "Oh, your hair's not really curly... It can go either way."
And I got so annoyed. I almost wanted to be like, "Jeez, mom! Where there's a wave, there's a curl! And I have plenty!" :hmph:
But I ignored it. When you're the only curly in the family, no one gets why you put so much work into buying the right products and your trial and error, etc.
But I LOVE my curls and so glad I'm learning to take care of them properly!
Is anyone else the only curly in a straight family (or the only one who embraces theirs)??
And I got so annoyed. I almost wanted to be like, "Jeez, mom! Where there's a wave, there's a curl! And I have plenty!" :hmph:
But I ignored it. When you're the only curly in the family, no one gets why you put so much work into buying the right products and your trial and error, etc.
But I LOVE my curls and so glad I'm learning to take care of them properly!
Is anyone else the only curly in a straight family (or the only one who embraces theirs)??
2C/3A; very, very thick fine to medium hair; low porosity.
Current Products:
Co-Wash: As I Am Cleansing Co-Wash
Conditioner: Shea Moisture Tahitian Masque, Aubrey Organics GPB, Shea Moisture
Leave-In: Coffee Coco Curl Creme, Coffee Coco Curl Creme Lite
Stylers: Mop Top Curl Custard, Shea Moisture Curl Custard[/FONT]
"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." -Khalil Gibran
Current Products:
Co-Wash: As I Am Cleansing Co-Wash
Conditioner: Shea Moisture Tahitian Masque, Aubrey Organics GPB, Shea Moisture
Leave-In: Coffee Coco Curl Creme, Coffee Coco Curl Creme Lite
Stylers: Mop Top Curl Custard, Shea Moisture Curl Custard[/FONT]
"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." -Khalil Gibran
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Last time she seemed determined that I must "do something" with my hair to make it look like this, so when I just rewet it some in the morning, scrunched it a bit and then was ready to go (having it dry in the car as we had quite a number of hours to drive) she was just gaping. "Aren't you supposed to do something with your hair?". Her hair has always been stick-straight and blonde, so nothing like mine, until she had me and my sister when it turned slightly darker and like 1C/2A wavy at most
I am pretty sure my dad has curls in there. He says no, and said he never had any tendencies and had hair long enough, but then long enough is like 3 inches at most. I don't think that is really enough to judge if there is curls in there if you are not treating it curly. His hair is super-fluffy when it's been a bit longer and has been standing up just straight, creating a super-dense helmet of hair. Definitely suspect curls there...
3a/m/iii - waist length wet
Cleanser: Naturelle Volumizing
Conditioner/LI: Garnier Respons Avocadooil and Shea Butter, Schwarzkopf Gliss Ultimate Volume Conditioner
Styling: Eldorado Hairgel Strong
I think the side of my father has curls. My father used to have long hair with some big barrel curls like I have framing my face.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using CurlTalk App
M/C, Low/Medium/High Por, Normal Elast. Medium Density
LP: INSIGHT DAMAGED HAIR Restructurizing Shampoo
CO: Generic protein conditioner, Hair Academy Deep Cleansing CO
DET/RO/LI: GNC Avocado And Shea Butter Conditioner +/mask,
Styler: Schwarzkopf Taft Fixing GelWellaflex Instant Volume Boost Mousse
DT: EVOO, C.O
HG
Goal: WL when curly
CG since Feb 2014
DevaCurl No-Poo
DevaCurl One-Condition
DevaCurl Arc-Angel
:wav:
3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
Leave in Products: As I Am Leave-In, SM Smoothie/Milk, KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In
Air Dry
Looking for new products and methods to try!
My mother is Latina and what it is common in that culture to force short, ugly haircuts on people with curly hair. Sorry if I offend anyone, but I have seen this over and over again. I had to endure ugly poodle cuts, while my sister could have long hair. My mother used to say "You have to have short hair because it's curly." Like that's a fact? Curly hair is perceived as messy, or perhaps they want to hide the fact that so many of us have some African heritage.
My sister used to make fun of me for having curly hair! Ironically, in high school, my sister used to get up at 5:30 to curl her hair for 2 hours!
I was always more of a book worm and certainly didn't care all that much about hair anyway. I still think it's silly how much effort and importance women place on looks and not on developing their minds....
That said, I am happy to learn (finally) what makes my hair happy. What's especially cool about my hair is its versatility. I can blow dry my hair straight (blah, boring) or I can have my hair be anything from flapper waves to corkscrews depending on my mood with very little effort.:afro::afro:
It wasn't until I was a teenager where I realized I had 3a hair, and lots and lots of ringlets. It was sort of a shock to people for them to see how curly my hair really was.
Thankfully, my family has always been complimentary toward curly hair.
I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.
All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier.
The big put off for her is that I use conditioner to clean my scalp. On a recent gathering one of our friends commented on my curls even though was 3 day hair and a result of a bad flexi rod out she eventually asked what I use to my hair and I said conditioner. They were a bit astonished and the girl's mother asked but does it clean? Pretty confident with my hair I asked her does my hair looks dirty? Does it look bad?
She replied that my hair looked pretty good. So I didn't actually had to add anything to that. Her daughter, our friend has a problem of hair loss because of sudden body loss as it seems to me.
{Stats for mobiles}
M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli
M/C, Low/Medium/High Por, Normal Elast. Medium Density
LP: INSIGHT DAMAGED HAIR Restructurizing Shampoo
CO: Generic protein conditioner, Hair Academy Deep Cleansing CO
DET/RO/LI: GNC Avocado And Shea Butter Conditioner +/mask,
Styler: Schwarzkopf Taft Fixing GelWellaflex Instant Volume Boost Mousse
DT: EVOO, C.O
HG
Goal: WL when curly
CG since Feb 2014
My parents always ask why I use so much product, and are nearly always petting my hair. There is no safe place for my hair in this world, lol.
SHAMPOO: Paul Mitchell Lemon Clarifying
CONDITIONER: John Frieda Frizz-Ease Smooth
DEEP CONDITIONER: Organix Morrocan Oil Cream
STYLING: Garnier Sleek and Shine Serum, John Frieda Frizz-Ease Dream Curls Daily Styling Spray, and Suave Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse
www.justcurly.com
My blog is all about curls: Curly tips, curly hairstyles, curly product reviews, curly fashion and curly lifestyle!
My blog is all about curls: Curly tips, curly hairstyles, curly product reviews, curly fashion and curly lifestyle!
Although my adoptive father does have 'curly' hair, it is short and easy to manage. Guys definitely have an easier time with curls than guys/girls with long curly hair.. so I don't count him.. haha.
My adoptive mother is mexican italian and has beautiful dark brown hair that are /sort of/ wavy. I have my polynesian frizz and my italian curls!
All aunts from both sides of the family have straight hair and they are all jealous of mine (on the good days at least I guess).
Nice to know there are more people like me who did not grow up with a mom who knew how to deal with the curls.. :x
But that's what happens when you're not a curly head...
My fiance then asked, "You can curl already curly hair with a flat iron?"
And I explained to him that you basically have to straighten it first, which completely negates the purpose of having natural curls.
He then said, "I like natural curls better."
He's a good man.
Current Products:
Co-Wash: As I Am Cleansing Co-Wash
Conditioner: Shea Moisture Tahitian Masque, Aubrey Organics GPB, Shea Moisture
Leave-In: Coffee Coco Curl Creme, Coffee Coco Curl Creme Lite
Stylers: Mop Top Curl Custard, Shea Moisture Curl Custard[/FONT]
"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." -Khalil Gibran
Current Products:
Shampoo: Giovanni Root 66 max volume
conditioner: Tresseme Naturals
leave-in- SM curl enhancing smoothie
oil: jojoba
Stylers: Ecostyler olive oil gel
"Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ." -Albert Einstein
My parents love my curls, mostly because they don't have to handle them anymore.:toothy5:
Even our close family friends don't have curls so my parents really couldn't get any good advice.
Low/normal porosity
Medium/low density
Good elasticity
Short length
Trying:
Babylove shampoo (no sulfates)
Alverde Nutri-Care conditioner - Almond oil and Argan oil (no silicones)
Alverde Syling gel...some long words on German... (no silicones)
FSG (low dew points)
Coconut oil as hair mask
:toothy10:
Current Products:
- AG Plastique
+ Plopping Overnightwww.joyfulmeadow.com
www.facebook.com/joyfulmeadow
www.instagram.com/joyful.meadow
They seem to forget that some hair just doesn't like being blow dried, and since it takes forever anyways, I never see the point. A plop, usually an hour or two, if possible overnight, is my normal routine.
I do have a cousin with curly hair, but it's so long that it right now is more wavy, and while our hair is about the same length when straight, mine just stays curly and looks much shorter, obviously.
Low porosity, very high density and coarse.
Still playing to find the perfect product.
(I don't know why people feel that they have to say "My hair's not greasy, I just washed it and didn't have time to dry it!" I would never assume that people would let their hair get that greasy - no-poo-er's hair wouldn't end like that anyway!)
Routine:
Jason shampoo/conditioner. (The seaweed one...)
Sometimes a random gel in the house - it's the kinda that goes sticky in soggy conditions...
Now that I am married with kids I am still the only curly in the house. But time will tell with my two boys since theirs may start to curl around their teenage years too.
Cowash-As I Am
PT-GVP Reconstructing Conditioner
DT-As I Am Hydration Elation
RO-? GVP Conditioning Balm
LI- As I Am or KCKT
Styling products-KCCC or As I am Curling Jelly
Sealers- SM Smoothie or Mizani Supreme oil
I could not tell you how many people have asked me throughout my life, "Is she your biological mother?" She just laughs and says, "Trust me, I have the scars and medical records to prove it." LOL.
I love my Dad's curls, but he started cutting them out when he got in high school. Every few weeks in between hair cuts, he'll start to grow his curls back. I love them! Both of his parents were Curlies too. I would say that the straightest hair on my father's side is wavy; there's a lot of 1C-2As. The curliest person on my father's side (that I know of) was his mother's father who was a 3C, but he ended up losing his curl when he got hair plugs. He also did hair straightening treatments, so there's only photos left of his beautiful 3C hair.
It was always hard going into my mother's side with my hair and its texture. My mother's mother loved it (every day I am so thankful that she was angry at me for straightening it) and so did aunt, mother and my great uncle and aunt... but that's it. I dealt with a lot of rude jokes and comments about how "prettier that I would look if my hair was straightened." But I learned early on that my features were not like my mom's side and that definitely helped me loved myself for my unique features because on my father's side, I look just like them.
Genes are funny things!
When I was about 7 or so she started flat-ironing my hair and it didn't stop until December of last year when I finally decided that I'd had enough. It was tough after that, because my mom would always ask when I was going to do my hair again (because to her me wearing it naturally curly apparently was not a style in and of itself, even if it had taken me an hour to do...). She married about 2 years ago now and my stepdad has been everything in helping me with my hair. Even before I decided to wear it curly, the few days I would wash it before straightening it in the past, if he walked by and saw my curls (even though at that time they were horribly damaged and very loose) he would always say he preferred it that way. And then a few weeks ago for a formal event, my mom begged me to straighten it so I would 'look presentable' and my dad stood up for me and said my hair looked and would look fine. To this day he even buys my hair products and constantly compliments my hair, which has been so encouraging even though now I am fairly confident with it.
I am not necessarily the only curly in my family (my mom and sister technically are, but they straighten and relax their hair), but I feel the pressure as if I were, especially from my mom. I know it isn't her fault, as this is something ingrained in African Americans from way back when that their hair is too 'nappy' to be able to wear it naturally, and I feel like that has a lot to do with how she responds to me wearing mine out although it is a mixture of all of the 3's. My hope is that I can someday coax her into learning to love her texture as well, but in her own time. I know it's hard on her, especially being a soldier, but I hate hearing her say the things she does about her hair when both she and it are beautiful.
•Deep Conditioner: Shea Moisture JBCO Hair Masque
•Conditioner: One N' Only Island Essentials Awapuhi
•No-poo: One N' Only Island Essentials Awapuhi
•Styler(s): Shea Moisture JBCO Leave-In, As I Am Curling Jelly.
•CG as of 12/?/2014, BC 04/?/2015. First CG cut 7/9/2015. :happy3:
I know my uncle is curly and my brother had curly hair as a baby before it turned brown and straightened.
Oddly, at one of my awkward meetings with my mother she was all 'I wouldn't have thought you were a curly haired person' and it's like, I wasn't aware it was a value judgement? O.o
I think part of the problem growing up was having to detangle it and brush it, so my mother would usually keep my hair short. She always admired curls on others, but she really had no clue how to care for mine, so I didn't know to treat it any differently from straight hair until I read Curly Girl: the Handbook when I was well into my twenties. I promptly stopped brushing then. It's funny now, it seems almost common knowledge these days that you don't brush curly hair, but I would always get yelled at as a kid for not brushing my hair (it was just so painful!), and my older sister would often try to get me in trouble by tattling whenever I did not brush it. My mother acted like not brushing my hair, or having tangly hair, was the worst sin when it came to hair care (second only to head lice), like many have already shared about how family members think not using shampoo is disgusting and unacceptable. Maybe she thought my "unkempt" hair reflected badly on her in the eyes of others. I wish we had curly hair care books when I was growing up...they might have saved me a lot of tears, and given me some self-confidence regarding my hair (her colorful description of my hair--the "rat's nest"--somehow did not make me feel good about it). I grew up hating it; sometimes it still takes a lot for me to accept that it is the way it is, and not straight and smooth.
I'm so grateful that there's so much more info for us now, even though sometimes it may be too much information!
2c/3a/3b, coarse, med-high porosity, medium density
formerly CG method