Only Curly in the Family

russianprncss · May 2014

Today I was at dinner with my mom and I was asking her a hair question and she said "Oh, your hair's not really curly... It can go either way."

And I got so annoyed. I almost wanted to be like, "Jeez, mom! Where there's a wave, there's a curl! And I have plenty!" :hmph:

But I ignored it. When you're the only curly in the family, no one gets why you put so much work into buying the right products and your trial and error, etc.

But I LOVE my curls and so glad I'm learning to take care of them properly!

Is anyone else the only curly in a straight family (or the only one who embraces theirs)??

Jimipe · May 2014

Well, until very recently my mum kept telling me I don't have any curls at all and have never had. Despite ringlets all over on the photos from when I was two years old. She has gone quiet lately, maybe due to giving up, maybe due to seeing that I keep having the same spirals everytime I see her.

Last time she seemed determined that I must "do something" with my hair to make it look like this, so when I just rewet it some in the morning, scrunched it a bit and then was ready to go (having it dry in the car as we had quite a number of hours to drive) she was just gaping. "Aren't you supposed to do something with your hair?". Her hair has always been stick-straight and blonde, so nothing like mine, until she had me and my sister when it turned slightly darker and like 1C/2A wavy at most

I am pretty sure my dad has curls in there. He says no, and said he never had any tendencies and had hair long enough, but then long enough is like 3 inches at most. I don't think that is really enough to judge if there is curls in there if you are not treating it curly. His hair is super-fluffy when it's been a bit longer and has been standing up just straight, creating a super-dense helmet of hair. Definitely suspect curls there...

KaZenner1990 · May 2014

What I see is that other mothers tend to do that. Mine questions every weird thing according to her. It's hard to make it see or change her perspective. My mom must have a 1c maximum wave on her hair but I can't see it as she fluffs her hair always. That is mainly why she thought my less frizzy-voluminous hair was stuck on my head. She also thinks that I don't let me hair free to breathe because I put always something to it, be that a DT or my satin cap or have it in braids.

I think the side of my father has curls. My father used to have long hair with some big barrel curls like I have framing my face.

Sent from my GT-I9000 using CurlTalk App

chimama · May 2014

I have my dads very curly hair, he passed away in 2000. Up until shortly after my dad died, I hated my hair. Now that he is gone I feel my hair is a legacy to him and now I treasure my curls. My dad and I were the only curlys in the family so when he was gone I felt alone and frustrated, as my sister and mother both have very, very straight hair. Well my nephew who is almost three years old (my straight haired sister's child) has very, very blonde curly ringlets, and im so very happy to have a fellow curly family member once again, and its awesome when she asks ME for advice on how to deal with his curls.

DaniGirl88 · May 2014

Growing up, I was the only curly in the family really. That is, until my younger and sister (they have a different mother) were born. When they got to be teenagers, they started asking me for advice about their curly hair. My dad has curly hair, but cuts it short. My older sister has wavy hair, but always straightened her hair. It is almost like the hair gets curlier down the line. Meaning, my sister has waves, I have 3B, my brother has 3C, and my youngest sister has 4A. It is weird, but I love it!

clodya · June 2014

My father had hair like mine-but he's bald now, and he always kept his hair short except for the combover which is why I know. My mother and sister have wavyish hair but really not as wavy as 2A, more like slightly wavy, with 1s wave being almost as long as their hair. My brother has fine, straight hair.

My mother is Latina and what it is common in that culture to force short, ugly haircuts on people with curly hair. Sorry if I offend anyone, but I have seen this over and over again. I had to endure ugly poodle cuts, while my sister could have long hair. My mother used to say "You have to have short hair because it's curly." Like that's a fact? Curly hair is perceived as messy, or perhaps they want to hide the fact that so many of us have some African heritage.

My sister used to make fun of me for having curly hair! Ironically, in high school, my sister used to get up at 5:30 to curl her hair for 2 hours!

I was always more of a book worm and certainly didn't care all that much about hair anyway. I still think it's silly how much effort and importance women place on looks and not on developing their minds....

That said, I am happy to learn (finally) what makes my hair happy. What's especially cool about my hair is its versatility. I can blow dry my hair straight (blah, boring) or I can have my hair be anything from flapper waves to corkscrews depending on my mood with very little effort.:afro::afro:

Midwesterncurl · June 2014

My mom wasn't sure if I had very loose waves or curly hair for the longest time when she took care of my hair growing up. The hair around my face would curl but it just seemed that was that. My mom would also use a brush on my hair(!) because where she's from, people don't use products to set their hair or keep in under control.

It wasn't until I was a teenager where I realized I had 3a hair, and lots and lots of ringlets. It was sort of a shock to people for them to see how curly my hair really was.

AngelaE8654 · June 2014

My sister and I both have curly hair but we're the only ones. My mom has that stick-straight kind of hair that she used to try to curl when she was a kid and the curl would last 5 minutes max. Or the curls on one side would already be falling out by the time she got to the other side. My husband's daughter has the same kind of hair. Actually BOTH his daughters have stick straight hair. All three of my brothers have straight hair and my father did too. My sister's father had curly hair; that's where she got it from. Not sure where I got mine.

Thankfully, my family has always been complimentary toward curly hair.

KaZenner1990 · June 2014

The thing with my mother is not that she dislikes my curls but rather the way I treat them or the very stick together look.
The big put off for her is that I use conditioner to clean my scalp. On a recent gathering one of our friends commented on my curls even though was 3 day hair and a result of a bad flexi rod out she eventually asked what I use to my hair and I said conditioner. They were a bit astonished and the girl's mother asked but does it clean? Pretty confident with my hair I asked her does my hair looks dirty? Does it look bad?
She replied that my hair looked pretty good. So I didn't actually had to add anything to that. Her daughter, our friend has a problem of hair loss because of sudden body loss as it seems to me.

{Stats for mobiles}
M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli

geekrockgirl85 · June 2014

My dad has curls, but greying hair and years of heat and product abuse due to him trying to keep it "straight" have sort of resulted in a long, puffy mess. Both he and my mother think it's "disgusting" that I don't use shampoo.

jenjen182 · August 2014

I'm not the only curly in my family, but my hair is the curliest. My parents both have straight hair, while my sister has 2a waves. I have naturally 2b/2c hair that I can easily coax into nice curls. My sister has never tried anything with her hair- she's not much of a beauty fan. I just know she could have some nice curls though!

My parents always ask why I use so much product, and are nearly always petting my hair. There is no safe place for my hair in this world, lol.

justcurlies · August 2014

I'm the only curly in my entire family, which is why I brushed my hair until I was 16 (I thought my hair was just "wavy"), then I straightened it everyday until 4 years ago I finally found a good routine for my curls.. not having anyone in my family understanding my hair type made it quite difficult to learn how to properly take care of my curls 😊 but now I love my hair and some family members even envy my curls!

www.justcurly.com

My blog is all about curls: Curly tips, curly hairstyles, curly product reviews, curly fashion and curly lifestyle!

Zoey_Sabsxox · August 2014

I'm on the same boat as you lol! I'm 15 years old and everyone in my family either has straight hair or wavy hair aka hair that isn't curly! It wasn't until now that I've realized curly hair requires different care. I've always thought it was wash and go- even though my hair could pull it off for a long time. It wasn't until recently that I've learned about things like the curly girl method and how silicones can be bad for you hair. At first I felt weird knowing that there is so much more to curly hair care. But now I'm excited to try out new things and happy I've joined here so I can learn new things. I may not be a curly expert- but I will get there

it can be difficult being the only curly in the family as mentioned because there isn't anybody you can really turn to at times lol. But I wouldn't trade my curly hair for anything

Sariebearie · August 2014

wow. Guess I'm the only one who was adopted here!

Although my adoptive father does have 'curly' hair, it is short and easy to manage. Guys definitely have an easier time with curls than guys/girls with long curly hair.. so I don't count him.. haha.
My adoptive mother is mexican italian and has beautiful dark brown hair that are /sort of/ wavy. I have my polynesian frizz and my italian curls!
All aunts from both sides of the family have straight hair and they are all jealous of mine (on the good days at least I guess).

Nice to know there are more people like me who did not grow up with a mom who knew how to deal with the curls.. :x

russianprncss · December 2014

My sister wanted to curl my hair into those super fake looking ringlets. I indulge her from time to time. When she was doing it, she asked me if I used product in my hair and I really wanted to be like, "Of course I have product in my hair? It can't be this controlled without it."

But that's what happens when you're not a curly head...

My fiance then asked, "You can curl already curly hair with a flat iron?"

And I explained to him that you basically have to straighten it first, which completely negates the purpose of having natural curls.

He then said, "I like natural curls better."

He's a good man.

kucikas · December 2014

....

Elyonari · December 2014

I am also the only curly in family. My close and further family have straight hair except dad who is 2a type. So my family really didn't know how to handle with my hair as a kid. And one day they heard a great advice from hairdresser! "Cut all of your girl's hair." Great advice stupid! :angry1: So I was bald when I had 2 or 3 years. It changed my hair structure and the type was around 2a/2b. Until puberty when my hair started to curl again under hormones. You don't know how happy I was when that happen!
My parents love my curls, mostly because they don't have to handle them anymore.:toothy5:
Even our close family friends don't have curls so my parents really couldn't get any good advice.

EverydayCurls · December 2014

I'm not the only person with either waves or curls in my family, but I'm the only one who actually cares for it. My aunt (only been in the family for a couple of years and I rarely see her) has 3c hair, but she doesn't want to deal with it and just cuts it short and keeps it in a sort of frizzy/curly poof. My mom has wavy hair but expects it to look great without any product, and when it doesn't, she just brushes it (hers doesn't frizz out with brushing). Neither of them try to have the full curl potential for their hair, so I had to figure out my hair on my own. Before it was a loose curls/waves until I was 11 or 12 and it became 3b practically overnight. I've only very recently found out what works for my hair.

curlykenzi · February 2015

I'm the only one who wears my hair curly, my mom has those GORGEOUS ringlets (like major Shirly Temple) but cuts it short for managing easily. But she looks good with it short.. I look like a q-tip. One sister has maybe 2b hair, but doesn't try to manage it, so straightens it. The other is maybe a 1c, so very little wave. For the most part, everyone leaves me alone about my routine, though I get flack for not drying it other than plopping usually. (Like I shower three hours before an event so my hair has time to set and dry before I do anything to my hair)
They seem to forget that some hair just doesn't like being blow dried, and since it takes forever anyways, I never see the point. A plop, usually an hour or two, if possible overnight, is my normal routine.

I do have a cousin with curly hair, but it's so long that it right now is more wavy, and while our hair is about the same length when straight, mine just stays curly and looks much shorter, obviously.

qwool · April 2015

I'm the only curly - dad has an afro but he has a number 2 the whole time. I have the texture of my mum's hair - fine, but colour of dads and a mix for my curliness! My mum never knew what to do with my hair...but weirdly enough it was straight as I grew my baby hair out and then as hormones started it was a perfect 's' wave, it didn't curl to either side at all, then then I had it chopped into a bob, it went pretty curly. I never knew there was a way to 'manage' it, I always thought that the frizzy was part of it...also as I was being bullied at school for it, I tried straightening it but I have the sort of hair that doesn't like to be straightened and it takes well over an hour to do. I only got mum to stop going on about not brushing it this year...shes making me still use an afro comb, which is pretty narrow toothed so I still go all poofy, but not as much as I would with a paddle brush!

I'll see if I can find a wider one when I'm back at uni! One time I just co-washed because my curls had gone and I didn't need to wash it yet - and she kept commenting how it looked all greasy...I just had to say that it was because it was wet. To be fair I probably didn't wash it all out because the shower at home is a watering can!
(I don't know why people feel that they have to say "My hair's not greasy, I just washed it and didn't have time to dry it!" I would never assume that people would let their hair get that greasy - no-poo-er's hair wouldn't end like that anyway!)

Curly_Cakes · April 2015

Growing up I was sort of the only curly in the family. My one brother and father have curly hair but they keep it short enough that it doesn't curl. So I don't really think they count. My hair started out super fine and unable to even hold a curl when styled however by the end of elementary school there was a wave to it. Then in middle school it became ringlets. My older brother used to tease me all the time about my hair. However the joke is on him now since he is losing his hair while mine is all there still. My mother never knew what to do with my hair except tell me that I got that from my dad's side of the family.

Now that I am married with kids I am still the only curly in the house. But time will tell with my two boys since theirs may start to curl around their teenage years too.

curlytiara · June 2015

I'm the only curly in my family. all of my family members, even some of the guys, always say they wish they had my hair. but they get mad at me when I take FOREVER trying to perfect my curls. it's a lot to be a curly 😂 but its worth it 💕

Yourockmuhrocks · June 2015

I got my curls from my dad, who wears it short. My mom has whip straight, fine hair.. She was always jealous of my curls but, God love her, she had no idea what to do with them! She dry brushed and shampooed all through childhood. Ive only discovered how much I love my curls since finding this site! Mom and I talk about how much the Internet would have helped my hair game lol. I think my hair is still a little thin in the back from wearing a constNt ponytail till I was 19.

bookgrdngirl · June 2015

My Dad has tight, 3B curls that even sometimes looked 3C as a kid. My Mom has super thin, super fine and super straight 1A hair. Her hairs gets greasy within 12 hours! Nobody in her entire family except her paternal grandfather (which was like a 2B curl) had curly hair that I know of. Though to be fair, I didn't inherit any of her features or her family features.

I could not tell you how many people have asked me throughout my life, "Is she your biological mother?" She just laughs and says, "Trust me, I have the scars and medical records to prove it." LOL.

I love my Dad's curls, but he started cutting them out when he got in high school. Every few weeks in between hair cuts, he'll start to grow his curls back. I love them! Both of his parents were Curlies too. I would say that the straightest hair on my father's side is wavy; there's a lot of 1C-2As. The curliest person on my father's side (that I know of) was his mother's father who was a 3C, but he ended up losing his curl when he got hair plugs. He also did hair straightening treatments, so there's only photos left of his beautiful 3C hair.

It was always hard going into my mother's side with my hair and its texture. My mother's mother loved it (every day I am so thankful that she was angry at me for straightening it) and so did aunt, mother and my great uncle and aunt... but that's it. I dealt with a lot of rude jokes and comments about how "prettier that I would look if my hair was straightened." But I learned early on that my features were not like my mom's side and that definitely helped me loved myself for my unique features because on my father's side, I look just like them.

Genes are funny things!

JunyJu · June 2015

I'm biracial and was raised by my black mother, and I'm sure it was more than my curls that had people doing a double-take whenever she was out with me.

When I was about 7 or so she started flat-ironing my hair and it didn't stop until December of last year when I finally decided that I'd had enough. It was tough after that, because my mom would always ask when I was going to do my hair again (because to her me wearing it naturally curly apparently was not a style in and of itself, even if it had taken me an hour to do...). She married about 2 years ago now and my stepdad has been everything in helping me with my hair. Even before I decided to wear it curly, the few days I would wash it before straightening it in the past, if he walked by and saw my curls (even though at that time they were horribly damaged and very loose) he would always say he preferred it that way. And then a few weeks ago for a formal event, my mom begged me to straighten it so I would 'look presentable' and my dad stood up for me and said my hair looked and would look fine. To this day he even buys my hair products and constantly compliments my hair, which has been so encouraging even though now I am fairly confident with it.

I am not necessarily the only curly in my family (my mom and sister technically are, but they straighten and relax their hair), but I feel the pressure as if I were, especially from my mom. I know it isn't her fault, as this is something ingrained in African Americans from way back when that their hair is too 'nappy' to be able to wear it naturally, and I feel like that has a lot to do with how she responds to me wearing mine out although it is a mixture of all of the 3's. My hope is that I can someday coax her into learning to love her texture as well, but in her own time. I know it's hard on her, especially being a soldier, but I hate hearing her say the things she does about her hair when both she and it are beautiful.

piebakershairenvy · September 2018

I'm the only curly or even wavy in my family, everybody has stick straight hair except for a couple of cousins lol

Katherinejane76 · October 2018

I think my brother probably has the curliest hair in the family, but he wears it super short and could care less about hair. My sister has straight hair. I had pretty straight hair as a kid but with puberty and pregnancy my hair got wavier. My mom has wavy hair like me but wears it short and styled...she grew up in the 50’s, when hair was very “done.” I think she thinks my natural hair kick is a bit weird but she’s always been a mom who lets me do my thing, so she doesn’t criticize!

StraightPassing · October 2018

I don't think I'm the only one. I think my grandmothers are both curly but that may be a perm (although I know I look so much like my paternal grandmother it may not be in her case).

I know my uncle is curly and my brother had curly hair as a baby before it turned brown and straightened.

Oddly, at one of my awkward meetings with my mother she was all 'I wouldn't have thought you were a curly haired person' and it's like, I wasn't aware it was a value judgement? O.o

CrazyCurls13 · November 2018

I have 4a hair and both my parents have wavy hair. Parents don't always understand but you have to find people out in the world who do.

rabar · April 10

I'm not the only curly in my family; my older and younger sister had straight-to-wavy hair, and my brother's hair is like mine, but he keeps it short, so you really can't tell. My mother had stick-straight hair naturally. I believe my father was wavy, but he kept it short. Most of my first- and second-cousins on my father's side of the family have curly hair, even curlier than mine.

I think part of the problem growing up was having to detangle it and brush it, so my mother would usually keep my hair short. She always admired curls on others, but she really had no clue how to care for mine, so I didn't know to treat it any differently from straight hair until I read Curly Girl: the Handbook when I was well into my twenties. I promptly stopped brushing then. It's funny now, it seems almost common knowledge these days that you don't brush curly hair, but I would always get yelled at as a kid for not brushing my hair (it was just so painful!), and my older sister would often try to get me in trouble by tattling whenever I did not brush it. My mother acted like not brushing my hair, or having tangly hair, was the worst sin when it came to hair care (second only to head lice), like many have already shared about how family members think not using shampoo is disgusting and unacceptable. Maybe she thought my "unkempt" hair reflected badly on her in the eyes of others. I wish we had curly hair care books when I was growing up...they might have saved me a lot of tears, and given me some self-confidence regarding my hair (her colorful description of my hair--the "rat's nest"--somehow did not make me feel good about it). I grew up hating it; sometimes it still takes a lot for me to accept that it is the way it is, and not straight and smooth.

I'm so grateful that there's so much more info for us now, even though sometimes it may be too much information!

Only Curly in the Family

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Only Curly in the Family

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