Heartbroken - Don't know what to do . . .
cinnabon
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My beloved 15-year old Cairn Terrier, Kansas, was diagnosed with cancer (Lymphoma) on December 15th. I had come home from work and found him totally blind and disoriented/could barely walk. I took him to the emergency vet and then his regular vet who put him on steroid therapy (I realize this treatment is buying me just a little more time with him).
The treatment worked and he was doing better - mostly sleeping but comfortable and eating well. Until Christmas day when he went into a a coma like state. I couldn't get him to do much but go outside to eliminate. But by some miracle, by the next morning, he was back up and drinking and eating again and back into a normal routine.
I'm so torn - I can't let him go. I've made two appointments to have him euthanized and I cancelled both times. How do I let him go?
The treatment worked and he was doing better - mostly sleeping but comfortable and eating well. Until Christmas day when he went into a a coma like state. I couldn't get him to do much but go outside to eliminate. But by some miracle, by the next morning, he was back up and drinking and eating again and back into a normal routine.
I'm so torn - I can't let him go. I've made two appointments to have him euthanized and I cancelled both times. How do I let him go?
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I've experienced the same thing with a suddenly terrible day: she can barely get up, her eyes look dull, she eats her food, but with little interest... and I'm thinking well, this is it, I should make that appointment now. But then she's fine the next day. Happy, sassy, attentive, eating, following me around, etc. I don't want to prolong her suffering (I was a vet tech a million years ago and saw way too much of that), but she is having far more good days than bad right now.
And that's my metric. If the bad days start to outweigh the good days, or even increase to an unacceptable level, it will be time to let her go. And it's going to be like I lost a part of myself. The time we have with them is never enough.
Good luck to you, and scritches to Kansas.
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I was 6 months pregnant and having to carry him because he couldn't walk. After finally coming to the heart decision that he was in so much pain and it was inevitable he would die suffering I took him to vet and stayed with him to the end
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Maybe it would make u & kansas more comfortable to be at home together until his time is up. My doggie is still a pup, but I understand pain for them. I don't think they want us to "put them out of their misery" when they're happiest being our best friends, despite what kind of weather we may be having. Something in ur heart (and his) will tell u what is best. Be strong.
Love & blessings from a someone who loves her furry family.
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I agree that the time is usually when the bad days outnumber the good ones. My Samson was going downhill fast, had a rough few days, I knew the time was right (although hubby and son denied it). We waited through the weekend because he had a good Saturday-- eating, enjoying the outdoors. But Sunday he was starting to suffer, of course everybody was closed. We went in first thing Monday morning.
Sometimes they have a few good days before the end. I've seen people do the same, like they perk up to say goodbye and enjoy their final days.
((hugs)) to you and MoppyT. I wish you both peace and that you will know the right time. And that you can enjoy the good days until then. :grommit:
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You will know when it's time. You love your boy and don't want him to suffer, and he will let you know when he's suffering and no longer getting enjoyment out of life.
I wish you peace with your decision. It's so hard to lose our beloved pets, and it seems like we go through this over and over in our lives. It's the price we pay for loving creatures who don't live as long as we do. I know I'll cry my eyes out when I lose Splashy, but I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on having her in my life. It's worth the pain.
I'm sorry.
Gretchen
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Agreed. One of the things that helped me let go of my family's doberman was petting him while all he could do was lay there...strongly feeling that if he was intelligent enough to comprehend unconsciousness, he would opt for it. He was merely hanging on, and everything about his body language sent that message. So we hung out for one last time and I realized he was already gone. 'Our times' were at that point, even while he was alive in that moment, already only existing in memory. This sounds a little flaky as I write it (never put it into words before), but realizing that was part of knowing it was the time.
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+1 Sending you hugs....
The question I asked myself "am I keeping him around for me or for him?" He didn't want to hurt, be sick, etc. He wanted to enjoy life. When he wasn't, it was time. It's not easy to do!
Like someone mentioned, very sick dogs can have a good day right before the end. This even happened to my vet. But it's important to remember that the animal is sick and will be very sick again in a few hours or so.
He lived a very long life and was loved. You gave him a good life. A dog can't ask for anything else.
Thinking of you all.
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(((((hugs)))) for you and your buddy during this incredibly tough time.
As already said, you will KNOW when it's time. I always told Snick that when his bum stopped wiggling, then I'd help him leave painlessly -- it was the hardest promise I've ever had to keep. But after years of off and on medical issues, the happiest dog in the world finally stopped wagging, and it was time.
You will know, he will tell you. Try to make his passing peaceful for both of you -- we had the vet come to our home to perform the euthanasia, and Snick passed in my lap. While I was hugging him, my daughter and her boyfriend were giving him scritches so he was surrounded by people he loved. After he passed, the rest of the crew was allowed to sniff him so they could understand that he was gone (it helps them with the grieving process).
There isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss "the heartbeat at my feet," (from the Wharton quote regarding her spaniel)... but it gets easier every day. I'm glad I waited until he "told" me he was ready, though... and he's the only one who can tell you, no one else...
{hugs} and prayers heading out your way...
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My mom was grateful I wasn't around to witness it
It's so sad and hard and they are such important parts of our families.