Survivor of long standing curl abuse

lilianamkzlilianamkz Posts: 3Registered Users
Hi all,

I am a new curly girl. I had horrible experiences with my hair beginning at age 12, when my mother took me for a hair cut because of the "unruly-ness" of my beautiful full head of curls.

The ignorant hairstylist gave me the "poodle" I guess it was on because at that time (late 80s) lots of women were getting perms. To cope with the hairstyle, my mother begun applying relaxing cream on the front of my hair. It was terrible. Then I had to blow dry my short poodle bangs so they were not "all over my face".

When I was 14 my own mother hated my hair (and hers too). My hair was "unmanageable". And the more serious abuse begun: she took me to this secret lady for a "relaxing" therapy. I hated it. I looked like I had limp fine hair. And the process was long and tedious and involved getting tight big rollers and sitting under a head dryer for hours.

When I was 16, my mother decided from then on I had to blow dry my hair. And she took me for a couple more relaxing sessions. One day we had a fight because I wore my hair down to school.

Then when I was rebellious I wore my hair curly for a while ( I loved it, she hated it). When I was 18 we were invited to a family function. She "ordered me" I had to "relax". So we went, and the stylist did a very crappy job that ended up burning my scalp. I lost so much volume is not funny. I actually lost hair on my right side. I was mad. I looked awful. AND that was the last time I had a chemical treatment.

After that I had to chop it down, dye it and try to hide the unevenness. From then on, just highlights on/off until I completely transitioned.

At that point, I did not know how to care for my curls and I begun to blow fry / iron everyday. Stylists chopped it down from time to time, layers, chop, layers, chop.

I found out about this website while searching for solutions for an oily scalp + frizzy deformed curls. (I welcome any advice on that)

I never knew so many girls go through the same. Just as it happens with any form of abuse.

Anyway, I am very excited to be finally allowing myself to be natural and happy. I am in the process of finding what works. It is fun, but costly. We'll see. My curls are better after soaking up lots of botanical conditioner in the last few weeks. I hope there is a solution for my scalp somehow.

Thanks for reading!

Curlylili - Proud survivor of sustained curl abuse
3a. New Curly Girl since October 29 2011 :)
No more ironing or frying my fragile Cherub curls
Upset b/c my scalp ain't happy, but the curls are responding well.Co-wash with Live Clean Apple Cider Cleanser + Andalou Biotin + Lavender Botanical Conditioner. Using baby blankets to scrunch my hair after I wash.Styling with Redken curl activating liquid gel and lots of bobypins :) Sleep Samurai style using satin hair elastics. Glad I found this site!


  • mhen76mhen76 Posts: 813Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Welcome, lilianamkz! This is a great place to find help and support. Most of us have gone through phases where we hated and abused our hair in an effort to make it more "acceptable." Making the most of what we have is very freeing! We are no longer trying to change it. We are nurturing and caring for our hair instead of abusing it. As a result, our hair is healthier. Healthier hair is prettier hair. Enjoy your journey!
    3B, fine, normal to low porosity
    Modified CG since June 2010
    HGs: FSG, anything with glycerin, Tresemme Naturals conditioner, Curls Like Us cloths, satin pillowcases.
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    Welcome! We're so glad you're here!

    Gretchen co-founder

    You are beautiful!

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