Alternate discipline - does your SO support you?

This is kind of a spinoff of the praise article. I've been doing a lot of reading on positive discipline and been really aware of how I talk to Ben. My husband mostly thinks it's a crock of doo doo. I've been trying to get him to read some stuff and I did finally convince him to not tell Ben he was bad after he hit me. Not that husband and I are totally at odds - it's not like he is an old school "spare the rod and spoil the child" authoritarian. We agree on the big things but not on some of the finer implementations.
So, is your SO on board with your child rearing philosophy? And what do you do if he isn't? So far I have been doing my own thing and letting him do his own thing unless I think what he is doing is really misguided (like the "You are bad" incident) in which case I discuss it with him afterwards.
So, is your SO on board with your child rearing philosophy? And what do you do if he isn't? So far I have been doing my own thing and letting him do his own thing unless I think what he is doing is really misguided (like the "You are bad" incident) in which case I discuss it with him afterwards.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.
Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.
Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
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A while back I had a heart to heart with him though and let him know that this (positive discipline) was very important to me and that I couldn't do it alone (I have a heckofa short fuse) so I'd need his support. I told him that if he would be open to books since me telling him stuff came across as nagging. He said he would definitely be open to books so I whipped out my reading list.
So he's definitely made an extreme change that I hardly would have believe just 2 years ago.
Then again if he doesn't come around all the way, that's OK too. I think Ben will be able to handle that mommy and daddy do things differently sometimes.
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.
Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
My favorite is the toddler that put up his hand and said, "no yelling! yelling hurts. Use your words". Truer words were never spoken.
"...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock
"I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
Teehee!!!
Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
However, *I* am also the one who will do the big disciplinary things. I am the one who puts her in time out, and I am the one who will give her a spank on her bum if the time so calls for it. I think I've seen her put her in time out once, and I KNOW he's never laid a hand on her. But once again, I'm the one who is home all day, so I am the one who has to have the primary hold on discipline.
Honestly, what it came down to was listening to some posts on this board from people like Amneris and Trenellem, who would say "you would never pull that stuff with my mom". It made me think of how, culturally, different people would deal with the way they discipline their kids, and how I've seen these kids grow up into adults who respect their parents because they see them as a commanding authority figure.
Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
"...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock
"I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
Sometimes, you actually need to SHOW them why they can't do it. They're so about cause and effect - and my little one, with the personality that she's always right, sometimes needs to SEE why she can't do a certain thing.
Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Audrey Hepburn