My mom hates my CG look

ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
Before you ask, my friends have complimented me on it (only one tiny shampoo in 2 weeks) and my fiance thinks its sexy beyond belief.

My mother says my hair looks dirty and I need to shampoo and brush it. Incidetnally, she's also of the opinion that I should get my hair cut the way I had it 14 years ago (blunt, chin-length cut which I used to diffuse every day and then shellac with hairspray to keep it from falling. Now I've got it shoulder length with long layers)

Are any other posters getting similar reactions from mom? How much does mom's opinion of your hair affect your opinion of your hair. As for me, I went home and shampooed and brushed my hair after she said it. I didn't like the results and have vowed not to do it again.


  • Grey_LadyGrey_Lady Posts: 6Registered Users
    Ha ha. My stepmother is like this. She tries to convert every woman who will listen to get a chin length hairsprayed helmet. :roll: I stopped listening a long time ago. Chin length bobs just ain't for me.
  • ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
    Thank you! It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one! My mother absolutely hates long hair on everyone, and she's still trying to control how I do my hair, and I'm 28. Her sister is the same way. I don't get it.
  • CaryCary Posts: 102Registered Users
    It seems that moms have a thing against curly hair. I'm 18, and I remember when I got my hair cut at first into the straight hair with a zillion little layers my mom was happy. Its like a phenomenon! Mothers like their daughters to have boring short straight hair...
    when you hook up an EKG to a tree you'll get a heartbeat every 15 mins
  • CaryCary Posts: 102Registered Users
    My mom hates my CG transformation too by the way.
    when you hook up an EKG to a tree you'll get a heartbeat every 15 mins
  • curlyhockeyfan31curlyhockeyfan31 Posts: 40Registered Users
    Wow, my mom is the opposite. She gets mad when I cut my hair short. The only thing that irritates is that she does not understand that playing with my hair messes it up.
    2/3 mix, just below shoulders, fine
    No poo since 11/25/03
    Trader Joe's Nourish Conditioner, Chocolate Lust No-Poo
    Jessicurl Deep Conditioner
    Jessicurl Rockin' Ringlets and Confident Coils
  • ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
    I have a theory that there are two types of mothers, and it has little to do with how they wear their own hair. There are the "long hair" mothers and the "short hair" mothers. The long hair mom says, "If you cut your beautiful hair, I'll cry." The short hair mother says, "You can grow your hair when you're old enough to take care of it yourself. Until then, I'm getting it cut."
  • ilzabetilzabet Posts: 2Registered Users
    i have a long haired mother that was so sad when i chopped my hair off and straightened it all through highschool up until about may of 2004. (when she had control of it, it was down to my butt and curly as all get out) she was is so happy about my "new" curly hair that she buys me curly haired product to try. heh. so i had six years of the opposite "meghan stop brushing your damn hair and put that blow dryer away!"
    recovering heat tools addict. i think my hair is trying to be 3a underneath all the damage. or i'm a 2a in denial. we shall see... CG since 6/7/04.

    currently using: VO5 bodifying conditioner, KMS curl hydrator, biologe gelee
  • BobbinBobbin Posts: 22Registered Users
    hmm... my mum doesn't fit in this system, she's got short hair now but it used to be really long and she used to get it permed when she was younger so now I wear my hair natural she's quite interested in how it's naturally curly and how u can see that now I don't brush it and I think if she'd known my hair was gonna be curly and knew how to take care of it right she would've done. I guess I'm really lucky coz all my family likes my hair more than I do so when it's always tied back they say I should wear it down more (the thing is, this annoys me coz if I could wear it down and it'd look nice then I sure as hell would!! but they don't seem to get that!)

    "My mother says my hair looks dirty and I need to shampoo and brush it." I think this is just ignorance and if she didn't know you stopped using shampoo (I'm assuming she knows?) she probably wouldn't think it looks dirty. I'ts not like stopping cleaning ur hair at all but some people can't get their heads round that. At least after shampooing and brushing ur hair u know it doesn't help so just do what's best for u and at least u (and ur friends and bf) are likin it.
    Wavy curls - 2C/3Aish
    Most textures
    Thick frizzy and fragile
  • mslauratsmslaurats Posts: 23Registered Users
    whenever I cut my hair my mom says I am cutting off all my beauty...and she thinks straight hair is boring...the more wild it is the better for her...
  • cordeliacordelia Posts: 2Registered Users
    Ivmeer, I think you're totally right about the shorthair/longhair mom thing. My mom is a shorthair, she's kept her hair short for 60 years and isn't changing. She kept my hair short when I was little, and with my red curly hair I WAS orphan annie. She always seems really uncomfortable with my long hair, like it means I'm a loose woman with my loose hair flying all around, but I just keep growing it, and now it's past my midback. I wonder if maybe your mom doesn't think your hair looks "dirty" so much as "unkempt", and maybe that's just part of her own upbringing. Does she associate straight hair with good girls in pink headbands and curly hair with hippies? I could be way off, but that's the impression I sometimes get from women of former generations.
    with your head full of brains
    and your shoes full of feet
    you're too good to go down
    any not-so-good street!
  • ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
    I think she does think my hair looks unkempt and if I brushed it, she'd probably like it more. She's not anti-curly, though, and has always wanted me to have permed hair.
  • ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
    I think she does think my hair looks unkempt and if I brushed it, she'd probably like it more. She's not anti-curly, though, and has always wanted me to have permed hair.
  • NaturallyCurlyDoNaturallyCurlyDo Posts: 10Registered Users
    I think it just depends on the mom or person doing the looking. *LOL*

    My mom loves my curly hair and is always trying to perm her hair (hers is bone straight). I have tried to get her to stop it because, in my opinion, it looks far better just the way it is and perms damage her hair. I pretty much think once a person can get a handle on their hair, it looks best the way it is....whether it's naturally straight or curly...and probably will be healthier. :)

    The bottom line is she has to do what makes her happy with her hair (just like everyone else on this board). It's too bad some of your moms are so critical about your hair. Even though my mom is always struggling to curl it, I don't nag her about how she looks great with straight hair. It's your hair and you can wear it any damn way you please. :D
  • CurlyKissa78CurlyKissa78 Posts: 14Registered Users
    It's so hard when your Mom criticisizes you. Atleast it always bothers me. Fortunately for me, I come from a rather "crazy haired" family. My mom is 57 years old (is a short hair Mom), but she doesn't dye her hair. It's all grey (a VERY beautiful steel color) and she wears it short and spiky-ish. When I straighten my hair (which is VERY infrequent) I get a lot of negative comments. My family is very much about being who you are. *Insert Forrest Gump voice here* Momma always are who God meant for you to be...celebrate it.

    The thing I've noticed is that people will criticize you for ANYTHING. Personally, I like my hair curly. It's big, it's unruly, and I don't care. I've also noticed that I've never met a curly head with a boring personality. Just an observation. :wink:
    ~Spank Your Inner Child~
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    My mom always liked my hair long, and she liked it wavy, but if she were still here she probably wouldn't appreciate my current hair style...she would say it looked like unraveled rope! I remember her saying that about my friend's perm, years ago. She would prefer it brushed out. Oh well. I wish she were here for me to debate hairstyles with.
  • WhiteFiberWhiteFiber Posts: 2Registered Users
    I apologize for the length of this post, but I just had to get it out!

    In kindergarten and first grade my mother would put my blonde curls in pigtails with pretty bows and I LOVED them. Then one day I took a trip to the BARBER shop with my family and after my older brother got his hair cut, my mom and the barber convinced me to sit in the chair, too. :evil: I was turned away from the mirror, and had no clue what was going on. afterwards, I was turned around to look in the mirror to see a boy. I thought "ok, who's he? :shock: what's the deal here? that's nice, let's go home." I was five. Once I realized it was me, I thought "ok, fine. now, where's my hair?" The novelty wore off before we left the place. I hated it every single day!

    My mom kept it that way until 7th grade. I had to get a hair cut (BOY SHORT) every month with my brothers. I thought I had straight hair because everytime the hair got more then about 2 inches long, it would start to stick out because a curl was forming, and it was quickly chopped off. I dreaded it everytime and begged my mom not to do it, but she insisted that it will be short until I could take care of it on my own. I would say that I could, but she had me convinced that I couldn't and that she knew best :wink: . My father would get us ready for school in the morning, and because I had insano cowlicks, he would take a paper towell, wet it in the sink (wouldn't even wring it out,) and slap it over my head to put the hair down, while water ran down my face and neck. UGH!

    I would look at all my friends with their long hair and head bands and clips and bows and ties. I would actually put them in my hair, too, only to have them fall out within seconds since there was no hair to hold them in. My friends would ask me why my hair was so short and why I didn't want to look like a girl. Even my grandmother asked me why it was so short and I told her that my mom would not let me grow it no matter how much I begged her. I was constantly mistaken for a boy, whether I was wearing sweats or a frilly dress to church. Sounds silly, but I definitely think that this is why I have a bad case of social anxiety now and often feel judged because of my looks :oops: .

    I bring it up a lot, jokingly, and my mother gets all mad and claims that I will never let it go. No, I guess I won't. LOL. it got MUCH curlier after puberty and I finally grew it super long in high school, straightened a lot, and went for almost three years without even a trim, as I was so scared of haircuts. Then about 18 months ago, I was tired of straightening the frizz, got a TR, and regretted it big time. I learned that my face cannot handle stick straight hair. So, 3 months ago, I cut it about ear level to get rid of the straightened area, found this website and have fallen in love with my curls. Now I just have to wait for them to grow. I respect them now, though. I'm 27 and want them LONG again :D .

    The best part is, my mother has actually joked around that I cut all my hair short again, like when I was little, so that I must not have hated it that much :evil: . Plus, I get my curls from her, but she insisted when I came home from the salon in july that I got a perm, because my hair is just "not that curly." It's crazy, because she has ringlets herself and has all of her life. I get them from HER, but she sprays hers into a helmet that she has had for over 35 years! It's has not changed ONCE. She must hate her curly hair, and I am so glad that I found this website and the Curly Girl book, because now I enjoy mine and never have to worry about a hairsprayed and teased helmet!

    That was my first post and I did it after lurking for so long because this thread really hit home for me and made me so happy that other girls went through the same exact thing. Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and advice!
    Believe you can, believe you can't. Either way, you're right.

  • ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
    Honey, I know how you feel! My mom chopped all my hair off when I was 8, and even though I started to grow it back out when I was 11, I still feel like people think I'm a boy all the time. I'm 28 years old, have long hair and a 34DD chest, and I'm still convinced in the back of my mind that people are mistaking me for a boy.
  • ivmeerivmeer Posts: 10Registered Users
    Honey, I know how you feel! My mom chopped all my hair off when I was 8, and even though I started to grow it back out when I was 11, I still feel like people think I'm a boy all the time. I'm 28 years old, have long hair and a 34DD chest, and I'm still convinced in the back of my mind that people are mistaking me for a boy.
  • justGjustG Posts: 2Registered Users
    my mom (short haired mom) had curly hair until she had children....then it turned pin straight. she kept my hair short 'until i was old enough to take care of it myself'. and ever since i was 13 (im 33 now)i have heard "do something with that hair". ugh! i dont really know how to deal with it...i have tried to educate her on my curly no avail. i know its not an easy thing, but i guess i have accepted that she will never understand my hair...esp knowing that her solution was to chop it all off when i was young!
    3b- just below the shoulder-always a struggle!
  • justGjustG Posts: 2Registered Users
    wow whitefiber...i feel your pain!
    our mothers must have been separated at birth!

    i too was always mistaken for a boy....and i had to wear my older brothers hand-me-downs to boot!

    i remember asking my mom if i could get my ears pierced and paint my nails so that people wouldnt confuse me for a boy...but she would not have it!
    3b- just below the shoulder-always a struggle!
  • SherineillSherineill Posts: 1Registered Users
    My Mother is the opposite. She has ringlet curls, simply gorgeous. She had for years tried to get me to embrace my curls. She says they're what God gave me.

    When I was young, about 5 or after repeatedly telling me that if I didn't let her brush my hair (it was mid way down my back) she would get it cut like a boy. Well one Saturday morning we went down to the hairdresser, they put me in the big chair and cut away. My Mom initially wanted it shoulder length, without bangs. The Hairdresser convinced her that the Shirley Temple look was the way to go. So I had it cut very short. I cried because I was convinced that I didnt' look like Shirley Temple because she wasn't a boy. I learned very quickly that it's okay to let Mom brush it!! :lol:

    My Mother had her hair blow dried straight a few weeks ago. She looked like a different person. She hated it! She put her head in the sink, and had her curls back in a matter of minutes.

    Yes I do have a flat iron and I do straighten it every so often, but I have embraced my lovely curls. I think that we're lucky, us curly girls, we can have it curly or we can have it straight :wink:

    Curly girls rule!
  • gladygirlgladygirl Posts: 16Registered Users
    My mom has straight hair, but LOVES that I have curls now! It's interesting how mothers see daughters as reflections of themselves, so any response they might have to appearance can have alot to do with how they see themselves I guess. Mom's always been a "natural" beauty who's proud of her beautiful grey hair...wouldn't dream of changing it.

    She does get on my case about cutting my son's hair too short. But I'm sorry, it just gets too big...he can grow it out when he's older and start posting on this website!':wink:'
    3a/3b shoulder length
    Currently using Davine's Bio_O Styling Cream with B & A styling gel. Ever on the quest for second day hair...dare to dream!
  • RednaturalcurlsRednaturalcurls Posts: 1,814Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My mom has short straight hair so she never knew what to do with mine. When I was 10 or 11 I was going to see my grandparents for a few weeks and they convinced my mom that she should cut my hair short so they wouldn't have to deal with it (it was a little past the shoulders at that point and mostly wavy). So we chopped it all off and it turned out to be super curly after all the weight was removed. It has been that way ever since and my mom constantly comments on what I should or should not do with it. Her biggest thing is I should pull it back, "it would be soooo cute if you just clipped this back". A little while back I cut it shorter (just above my shoulders) and changed products. This allowed me to wear it down completely for the first time in a very long time. At first she said it was cute and even my dad commented on how great it looks, which is unusual since he never says anything one way or the other. However that didn't last long and she is right back to saying how cute it would be if I just pulled it back. What she doesn't understand is that I spent so many years with it pulled back in a ponytail or some other way and I am so happy to be able to leave it down all the way without any kind of scrunchy or anything. I think not having that type of hair makes it harder for her to understand what I go through. Oh well! Most of the time now I just nod and agree when she says pull it back :D
    Hair Type: mix of 3's, growing out an angled bob, color-treated red.
    Current products: GVP conditioning balm for co-wash and leave in, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Pattern Pusha and Garnier Anti-humidity hairspray
    Location:Sunny Florida
    Hair idol: Kimberly Schlapman from Little Big Town
  • frizzybarbiefrizzybarbie Posts: 483Registered Users
    My mom only tells me my hair is pretty or beautiful when it is pressed or flat-ironed straight :roll: When I wear two-strand twists or just where it curly she will get this pained look on her face. She doesn't like how my hair shrinks up (3c/4a); when straight my hair is almost to my bra strap and when curly it just touches my shoulders. Needless to say sometimes I don't feel very pretty when I wear it twisted or curly even when I get compliments from friends and co-workers.
    4a pencil-sized corkscrews that are low porosity, fine, thick, & layered
  • monicafmonicaf Posts: 11Registered Users
    This is my first time visiting this forum. I had to post.. I am 38 and my mother still critisizes me about my hair. When it was long, wild and curly, she hated it. She told me it looked messy and to pull it away from my face. When I got a TR, she hated it. She said the stick straight look made my face look too long and drawn. I realized I can't win. I am not trying to please her but its annoying when she is so critical all the time. I keep telling her that we have very different tastes - in everything from hair to makeup and clothes.
    SHe has always worn her hair short and although it is curly, she blow dryes it so it has a style and is wavy. WHen I was little, I also had my hair cut like a boy. In fact, I distinctly remember taking skiing lessons and the instructor kept calling me a he. THose things always stick in your mind.

    After having straight hair for two years, I have come to apprectiate the uniqueness of my curls.
    2c- 3a hair, fine-texture, currently highlighted red, lowlight dark brown.
    . Looking for long, chunky , flowing waves
    Currenty favorites: AG recoil and Abba Weightless gel, Eluecence condish, jessicurl RR
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    Welcome, fellow Jersey Girl. It's always nice to hear from people who have gone through straightening and then come to appreciate their curls.
  • monicafmonicaf Posts: 11Registered Users
    Hey Suzen,

    I notice you live in Morris County. SO do I. Where do you live? I am in Randolph.
    2c- 3a hair, fine-texture, currently highlighted red, lowlight dark brown.
    . Looking for long, chunky , flowing waves
    Currenty favorites: AG recoil and Abba Weightless gel, Eluecence condish, jessicurl RR
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    I live in Gillette, the very southern tip of the county. I work with some people from Randolph. Nice area...all those lakes.
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    My mom didn't like my hair when I tried CG (which didn't work for me anyway-the lemon rinse once a month was harder on my hair than using shampoo everyday!). My hair was mid-back, and she thought it always looked messy. It wasn't curly enough for me, so I had it chopped, and now it's healthy (thanks to all Jessicurl, all the time!), and she likes it. But the real secret as to why she likes it is that I've been sending her to my stylist! She's suddenly discovered, after 57 years, that the hair she thought was just a little wavy with a lot of frizz is actually curly, and she suddenly loves curls! She's too cute.

    Sounds like she's not the only mom who needed a hair makeover!
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • wyocurlswyocurls Posts: 1Registered Users
    My mom has always been jealous of my curls, her hair is straight. I am thankful she has supported any style I have selected. She liked my hair when I didn't!!

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