Are you the same religion as your SO?

StrawberiCurlsStrawberiCurls Posts: 424Registered Users
I just started dating a Jewish guy and I am Catholic. Neither of us are extremely conservative/traditional so it's not a big deal (yet).

Just wondering.
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Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Yes, we're both non-religious. I couldn't abide a life relationship with someone who didn't share my beliefs and values.

    Jews and christians worship the same god. I don't see the problem.
  • helloyellowbirdhelloyellowbird Banned Posts: 1,632Banned Users
    I'm not dating anyone right now, but when I was we were both atheists.

    Over the couple of years, I realized that although I don't go on rants or debates about religion, I'm pretty serious about being an atheist.

    I went on a date with a guy and he took me to his church, I just about DIED. Never again!
    eIZWI.gif
    :love10:
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    nope. I'm not really religious, I believe in God(yada yada yada) believe every religion is "right". I grew up going to church here and there.

    Hubby is Catholic. But not hardcore.
  • SarcasmIsBeautySarcasmIsBeauty Posts: 5,640Registered Users
    I'm not religious, he is but he's open in terms of religion
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Yes, to the OP's question.
    Yes, we're both non-religious. I couldn't abide a life relationship with someone who didn't share my beliefs and values.

    Jews and christians worship the same god. I don't see the problem.
    And this.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

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  • StrawberiCurlsStrawberiCurls Posts: 424Registered Users
    I don't see a problem either. We are both more "spiritual" than religous, if that makes sense. We were raised Jewish and Catholic, respectively, but we tend to have many similar beliefs in terms of spirituality.

    However, many Catholics and other sects believe Jews (along with others) are going to hell... therein lies the problem for some relationships I suppose.
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  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't think I could be with anyone that did not believe in any higher power OR someone super duper religious. Now if I had to choose between the two, I'd choose the no higher power one.
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Trenell wrote: »
    I don't think I could be with anyone that believed in any higher power OR someone super duper religious. Now if I had to choose between the two, I'd choose the no higher power one.
    But you said you do believe in God. But you only want to be with an atheist?
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Nope. I'm atheist, and I don't know that he'd call himself Christian but he does have some kind of spiritual beliefs.
  • CocoTCocoT Posts: 5,330Registered Users
    I'm not dating anyone right now, but when I was we were both atheists.

    Over the couple of years, I realized that although I don't go on rants or debates about religion, I'm pretty serious about being an atheist.

    I went on a date with a guy and he took me to his church, I just about DIED. Never again!
    LMAO!

    I'm not in a relationship or anything ( :( ) but if I were, I wouldn't wan't anyone try to change my beliefs. That's not right. I believe what I believe is right for me.
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  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Phoenix wrote: »
    Trenell wrote: »
    I don't think I could be with anyone that believed in any higher power OR someone super duper religious. Now if I had to choose between the two, I'd choose the no higher power one.
    But you said you do believe in God. But you only want to be with an atheist?
    oops. typo. I corrected it
  • KookyCurlKookyCurl Posts: 1,980Registered Users
    We haven't really talked about it because religion isn't an important issue for either of us. I know his family is catholic, but they aren't regular churchgoers. Neither of us goes to church. I think I'm much more spiritual than he is and more open to alternative beliefs and types of worship (I lean much more pagan than anything). I know he believes in some sort of higher power, probably more Christian leaning, but is not a believer in organized religion.

    I couldn't be with someone particularly devout. A lot of our core beliefs line up which I think is much more important than any particular theology. We are both passionate about education, music, and knowledge.
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i was raised evangelical Christian and SO was raised Catholic. it never posed a problem for us because neither of us were/are super religious. this may make the hardcore religious cringe, but i still plan on raising the kids as Catholics even though we mostly go to my parents church. i have no intentions of converting.
  • kaybkayb Posts: 5,054Registered Users
    This young man I really like is a devout Christian, and I had to go like him with me atheistic self. He told me point blank that it wouldn't work because he's pretty serious about his religion and he believes that their must be shared values when it comes to raising children. I, on the other hand, could not care less. If you want to believe in a higher power, good on you. I don't and if you want to take our children to church, go ahead, but I will also let them know where I stand on this and leave it up to them to choose when there are good and ready.

    Maybe that means I'm not a serious atheist, which I wouldn't argue about, I guess I religion is not a deal breaker for me.

    Then again, I'm also not seeing anyone so I am free to make these statements, I may very well change my tune when push comes to shove.
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  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Hubs is an atheist, I sort of believe in a nebulous idea of a higher power or creator. We share Buddhist-like philosophical beliefs.
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  • SaroyanSaroyan Posts: 398Registered Users
    He's Jewish, from a Jewish-Catholic intermarried family, and I was raised sort of casually Lutheran, as most Swedes are. When we met I considered myself an atheist because I couldn't call myself Christian, but I'd attend Shabbat services with him sometimes, and something in Judaism really resonated. He never once mentioned conversion (like I said, his own family is interfaith); I chose it on my own.

    It's not something I ever expected, and I still don't believe in a deity in any traditional way (mine's more amorphous and figurative), but I find the community, prayer, and ritual helps keep me centered.
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  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,231Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't see a problem either. We are both more "spiritual" than religous, if that makes sense. We were raised Jewish and Catholic, respectively, but we tend to have many similar beliefs in terms of spirituality.

    However, many Catholics and other sects believe Jews (along with others) are going to hell... therein lies the problem for some relationships I suppose.

    Guano. I was astonished by this. I'm Jewish and I had no idea Catholics and other sects thought I would end up in hell (which I don't believe in). End guano.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    both evangelical christian - same beliefs.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    No. I'm Hindu, DH is Sikh. And we're both agnostic.
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm a Unitarian-Universalist and he's an Atheist. We are both fine with that.

    I don't think it's the religion of the SO that matters so much to me as the manner in which he practices it. My ex-husband is a Muslim, and so many people thought that he would abuse me, force me to convert, etc.. His religion wasn't an issue to me, outside of wanting to learn about it, because he was moderate in his practice and not pushy with others about it.

    My BF has had problems with women irt his Atheism. Some women look at him and think that he is a clean cut Republican Christian, and thinks clash when they find out that he is a politically progressive Atheist.

    If someone was 'my way or the highway' with his religious views, then that would be a deal breaker.
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  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Jews and christians worship the same god. I don't see the problem.

    Um..contrary to popular belief.. we don't. :tongue2:

    To the original question: Yes..my husband and I are the same religion. Neither of us would marry or date (if we were single) non-Jews, period. To do so is a conflict of interest since both of us are religiously observant.

    Having said that, In general I don't see why two secular people that just may have been raised in a certain religion or are religious in name only of opposite religions can't date. Cause clearly, religion (if it dictates you should stay within your own) isn't all that super important to them in the first place...
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    When we met, no...
    Before we were married, yes...
    0004.gif

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  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    Yes, we're both non-religious. I couldn't abide a life relationship with someone who didn't share my core values.

    This. I wasn't raised into any religion, and while my husband's grandparents tried to push Catholicism, it didn't take. We're both atheists and I absolutely would not have it any other way.
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  • LadyV69LadyV69 Posts: 3,397Registered Users
    While I do believe in God, I don't do organized religion. Most of the guys I've dated weren't religious either. I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who was super religious or who didn't believe in a higher power as we obviously wouldn't have shared values.
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  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    I'm a pretty serious atheist. I'm openly against organized religion, as well.

    By boyfriend was raised Catholic, and went to Catholic schools (elementary through college!). However, he is non-practicing and would probably consider himself an agnostic at this point. Religion doesn't really play any part in our lives.

    The problem I foresee down the road is how is family will react towards our future children. I absolutely without a doubt do not want my children indoctrinated into any sort of religion. I have a feeling his family, who are still practicing Catholics, may have a problem with that.
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  • curlysue21curlysue21 Posts: 5,219Registered Users
    I was raised a pretty strict Catholic and am now atheist. DH was raised Protestant I think, but they never practiced. He believes in God but isn't down with organized religion.
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  • oddityofwingsoddityofwings Posts: 1,261Registered Users
    I was raised as generic protestant - currently ascribe to Quakerish type beliefs, but don't actively practice. He was raised atheist and is currently agnostic. It's not an issue - it creates a lot of interesting discussions. :-)
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  • CheetaraCheetara Posts: 2,182Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Yes. This is the first Jewish guy I've had a serious relationship with. He's even less religious than me but it's really nice to be in a relationship finally where there's no conflict during the holidays.
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  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 20,727Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    I've never dated another atheist so no. But I've never dated anyone who was super religious and probably never will. Just like I'll probably never date anyone who has opposing views about many of the things I have strong opinions about (politics, world population, animals, the environment, social issues, etc). I just think it's easier to be with someone who feels the same way about at least some of the things I believe in.

    But I know lots of couples who are nothing alike but have great relationships.
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  • KookyCurlKookyCurl Posts: 1,980Registered Users
    Who Me? wrote: »

    The problem I foresee down the road is how is family will react towards our future children. I absolutely without a doubt do not want my children indoctrinated into any sort of religion. I have a feeling his family, who are still practicing Catholics, may have a problem with that.

    This was a bigger problem for me, as well as child rearing in general. Once it became clear that my SO and I were getting really serious we talked about it. He made it clear that he would back me up on decisions of that nature despite his family feelings. After seeing his mom with her current grandchild as well as his brother/SIL's parenting style (they're great parents, just not my particular style with kids) it was important to me to know if he believed that their way was right or if it was as important to him for us to forge our own way as it is to me. Now that we're on the same page I'm comfortable continuing to move forward. We aren't anywhere near having kids yet but I know that we sync in that way.

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