I seriously almost cried.

alaskantsunami

Yesterday morning, after 5:30 swim practice, I was doing my normal curl routine which involves some Perfect 10 leave in product, a bit of mousse, among other procedures. My hair is fairly long, and all of a sudden this lap swimmer (I didn't even know her) came up to me and said "you should cut your hair." I asked why, and she said "because then it might straighten out and you would be a lot prettier that way." Then she gave me a lecture on how make up = sin, which I kind of ignored.
I can handle high school kids at school telling me about my hair, but my mother has ALWAYS been supportive of long, wild, individualized hair. The fact that an adult would come up to me and say something like that just blew me away. I consider myself to be kind of tough skinned about this, and I love my hair 110%, but it was just that someone who was supposed to be "mature" would say something so hurtful to a kid she didn't know just made me want to cry.
(Oh and short does not equal straight for me. She's WRONG.)

moodydove

Ew, no (at her, not you, lol). There are a lot of people in the world who haven't figured out how many other sets of eyes are around. They think that by doing that kind of thing, they are somehow being of great service to the world. I think you're in good shape though, recognizing how ridiculous she was being. You aren't blind like her.

DolphinCurls

Just ignore her. She's obviously jealous of your curly hair. if you love your hair, that's great! That's what count. Bitter people like her aren't worth getting upset over.

85MR2

Wow. Where do I start?

A. It wasn't her place to say anything.
B. Why would you want to "straighten out"?
C. A lot of people's hair gets curlier shorter, so her suggestion didn't make any sense anyways.

What did her hair look like?

lionese

What?!! What made this person say something like that to someone?! That is so closed minded, compassionless, insensitive and unintelligent. All I can say is consider the source and move on. Her viewpoints and what she has to say are not worth listening to or thinking about!! I bet she'd have something negative to say about anyone who was different from her. She's bad "ju-ju"!

tinymandolin

The thing is, she probably believes what she said was helpful and considered her comments to be a benefit to you... unfortunately, some people don't think before they speak about how what they say could be taken by others.

What's said has been said. I don't blame you for being taken aback. I know I would be. But now we must focus on the good!

What's the good? Your hair is beautiful and individual enough that you stood out among a crowd. Another good thing is you know your hair better than her, so you can simply brush off her comments because you know what's best for your hair and have no obligation to listen to her, ever. And a third good thing is that there are many of us here on NC who think you have wonderful hair... and I'm sure there are many of us who also don't think makeup is sinful. I don't, at least. :compress:

Gemini13

Wow- I just can't believe the nerve of some people, thinking they have the right to say something like that to a complete stranger! (Not that it would be ok to say it to someone you know, but...) Try not to take it to heart.

MsCurl83

People love to tell you what to do with your hair, when they perceive it as unamangable or unkempt. But what I say, is forget 'em (the polite way). Some people just jealous of what you got and such a thing can't be helped. Rock your wild, imaginative, natural hair. And when you see her again make sure you shake it all in her face so she can the glorious light hit every strand!

alaskantsunami

She was there again this morning, but she didn't say anything today. Her hair was short and stick straight, but it's not unattractive really. It's like Rihanna's except blondeish brownish.
I am used to bratty high school shots about curly hair, in fact it is expected. It was the whole adult thing getting to me. I'm over it now though, and I am not willing to burn my locks over this either, I want to keep my hair healthy(:

curlypearl

Gemini13 wrote: »

Wow- I just can't believe the nerve of some people, thinking they have the right to say something like that to a complete stranger! (Not that it would be ok to say it to someone you know, but...) Try not to take it to heart.

+1

generosityt

Just because you were taken aback doesn't mean that you don't have a tough skin, in fact, if you didn't you would've been considering her not so wise advice :roll:. Your mom should be proud of your maturity and strength of character. I hope my little girl will grow as strong as you, hearing hurtful thing without being shaken by them.

Cali Chik

See... and if you hadda knocked that b*tch square in the chin you'd be wrong.... this world is crazy...

Ppl like that deserve to get they ass beat. Bottomline.

alaskantsunami

generosityt wrote: »

Just because you were taken aback doesn't mean that you don't have a tough skin, in fact, if you didn't you would've been considering her not so wise advice :roll:. Your mom should be proud of your maturity and strength of character. I hope my little girl will grow as strong as you, hearing hurtful thing without being shaken by them.

Thank you. My mom has always been there whenever someone knocks down my hair, reminding me that everyone is different and my hair beautiful. When I told her about that woman she was appalled as well.
And she did tell me she was proud of me for handling it so well.

Copasetic

Geez, who randomly offers rude and unsolicited advice to people?

I know everyone has said this, but just ignore her.

CurlieTop

This is a quote I feel applies to everything in life, including this situation: "We criticize in others the faults we see in ourselves."

If someone is going out of her way to criticize you, especially for ridiculous crap like this, it is probably because she is unconsciously trying to make up for some fault she sees in herself. Maybe someone did the same thing to her (told her she needs to the way she looks) and from that point on she became self-conscious about herself... and the only way for her to make herself feel better is to perpetuate the negativity, tell others that they are also not pretty, then proceed to give "advice."

I'm sorry that someone did that to you, I would have been upset too. Next time I think the best thing to do is just say "Excuse me but I did not ask you for advice, and I am happy with my curls just the way they are. Have a nice day."

veezor

It's sad to say but not everyone is going to like curly hair. To a lot of people it can look unruly, unkempt, because they don't understand it. They don't understand how brushing and shampooing could be a bad thing.
Next time someone tries to make a comment like that on your hair just remember, at least your hair isn't boring!

85MR2

You handled it REALLY well for sure. I would have had a hard time not making some snarky comment about how she would look a lot more feminine if she grew her hair out, and maybe got a body wave or something. You know, cause straight hair can look so harsh. Way to rise above it and take the high road.

Naturalista

alaskanwave wrote: »

She was there again this morning, but she didn't say anything today. Her hair was short and stick straight, but it's not unattractive really. It's like Rihanna's except blondeish brownish.
I am used to bratty high school shots about curly hair, in fact it is expected. It was the whole adult thing getting to me. I'm over it now though, and I am not willing to burn my locks over this either, I want to keep my hair healthy(:

Ha... I wonder if you tossed some water on that heffa you would see her TRUE NATURE. Listen..

people hate that which they dont understand. They lash out because they see something in you that they wish they could embrace but cant.

Do NOT even study her-- she's not even important in the grand scheme of things. You hold you head up and keep taking care of those curls!

wowohwow

What in the world! I agree with a post above. She's probably jealous. Her own hair probably isn't as beautiful or well-kept as yours, and she wants yours! I bet she'll ask you where you cut your hair so that she can follow you there and get a weave made, haha!

Rotini

:cussing:

nadiacurly

S O S T U P I D...:protest:

Nerdycurl

What is wrong with people??

If that had happened to me, I'd undoubtedly spend the next week thinking about what I should have said lol. Some cutting comment that would have made her see the error of her ways--

You did good. A person who would say such a thing can't have healthy karma. Take comfort.

alaskantsunami

Nerdycurl wrote: »

What is wrong with people??

If that had happened to me, I'd undoubtedly spend the next week thinking about what I should have said lol. Some cutting comment that would have made her see the error of her ways--

You did good. A person who would say such a thing can't have healthy karma. Take comfort.

Ah yes, karma. It's a beezy(:
I did think of all the snarky things I could have said. But my mom raised me to be polite, and in the end I realized it was much more worth it to be respectful instead of pissy. Why make a big show out of something that doesn't need to be, right?

tasnimroxmysox

IGNORE HER. she sounds like a total *****. and she clearly doesn't know what she's talking about. if i cut my hair my shorter, it would still be curly. just short.
i hate people like that!!!

Nicky791

Cali Chik wrote: »

See... and if you hadda knocked that b*tch square in the chin you'd be wrong.... this world is crazy...

Ppl like that deserve to get they ass beat. Bottomline.

:laughing5: I always look forward to your posts! You are some kinda violent! (in a good way)

KurleeEdna

alaskanwave wrote: »

generosityt wrote: »

Just because you were taken aback doesn't mean that you don't have a tough skin, in fact, if you didn't you would've been considering her not so wise advice :roll:. Your mom should be proud of your maturity and strength of character. I hope my little girl will grow as strong as you, hearing hurtful thing without being shaken by them.

Thank you. My mom has always been there whenever someone knocks down my hair, reminding me that everyone is different and my hair beautiful. When I told her about that woman she was appalled as well.
And she did tell me she was proud of me for handling it so well.

My first thought when I read your post was, "You think so? 'Cause I was thinking you should cut your head off. You'd be smarter that way."

However, I agree with generosityt and your mom. The fact that you didn't immediately slap her silly does take incredible strength.

I applaud you for that! :wav:

curlypearl

I think when she was young, her mother braided her hair too tightly, and it prevented her brain from developing properly. She's an idiot.

aunttallulah

The sad thing is that someone would bother saying it to you at all without realizing the potential emotional baggage they can add to someone.

I am overweight & when I was in high school people would comment "you would be so pretty if you were skiny." I was comfortable enough with myself to tell them that they basically told me I was ugly in a round about way & they would feel terrible.

I had a stranger in a store come up to me & told me I was fat & seriously needed to lose weight. I was so stunned I didn't know hw to react. But that man has no clue what potential damage he could have done to someone.

Thankfully we are all strong people hear who are comfortable in our selves to brush it off.

If it had been me now, I would have engaged her in a conversation to make her feel bad about the hurtful comments!

Lollipop

You know what's so messed up to me whenever I hear about comments like this? Do those people think they have any pearls of wisdom to offer to someone with curly hair?! Seriously, do those straight haired wackos (not all straight haired people, but the stupid ones that say sh*t) think that are some godly entities put on this earth to save us from curly hair?!

twister89

I got a similar comment from my roommate last year. When discussing how I really like my hair long, I mentioned that I am afraid to cut it short because, being a wavy, there's a high possibility it'll get a lot straighter. To which she replied, "So why don't you cut it shorter?" :angry7:

But on the upside, I had my hair flat-ironed just once a while back, and everyone said although it looked more kempt while straight, it was kind of boring and my wurly hair suited me better. I was pleased as punch!

So forget those haters! There are tons of people who'd love your hair too! Big hair, especially when it's curly, can look AWESOME! :thumright:

GeminiSign

Aw *hug* she probably was jealous (I am too! xD) and she had no right to talk to you like that. Some people are just really stupid and that shows you how mature she really is. From your profile pic I think your curls are really pretty :]