I feel like I'm not good at anything..

alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
I'm not sure what I'm good at. I really don't think I have any hobbies. My life is pretty boring.. I guess the only thing I'm good at is getting good grades in school. I remember when I was younger I used to love playing outside and I used to like art and drawing and singing and dancing I loved to do everything. But now I feel like I don't get anything done. My mom even says that now I'm unenthusiastic about everything.. I used to have a great relationship with my parents but now I feel like I don't and I have a lot of friends but I'm reserved to them all I don't tell anyone whats on my mind or what my problems are. I feel like all of this is why I'm depressed or something like that.. I was depressed a few years ago but I got over it by myself. But I just feel kind of alone, I'm mostly alone all the time because my mom works and my dad isn't really in the picture. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me.. How do I become like I used to be? I'm just so confused and I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay all the time because there's something wrong with me and I don't even know what it is.. I hope this makes sense and I'm sorry for venting on the internet to random strangers.. I guess Its easier to talk to someone you don't know about your problems.
Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
Currently using:
  • Garnier Fructis for curls
  • Suave gel
  • Co wash: Vo5 condish
CG as of june 19, 09'
=]

http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
Curls
are SO much more fun
to play
with ^^:icescream:

Comments

  • lovelovelovelovelovelove Posts: 257Registered Users
    I used to be kinda depressed too... It happens to everyone, you know, when youre in a slump? Personally, I really like to cook, and now I love exercising. Seriously, I suck at sports, but now that I got a membership to the gym with my mom and brother, it's just really fun! And now I'm looking into getting healthier and all.. So now I've got a bit more of a hobby! Do you like music? Maybe you could learn to play an instrument or whatever! Oh and for the friend thing.. Try deciding wich of your friends you like the most.. then slowly open up to one of them, and you could invite her to a movie, and pretty soon, your friendship'll start to blossom! HTH!
    Ca m'a fait de la pé-peine!:love7:
  • burgundy_locksburgundy_locks Posts: 2,420Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    How old are you? And where do you live?

    It seems like there aren't a lot of after school programs anymore. When I was younger, I was involved in EVERYTHING! Does your school offer any kind of extracurricular activities? Sometimes you just have to 'do it' and not think about it too much because you can discourage your self. I'm sure you are good at so many things. But since you don't have many outlets, you get inside your head and start to convince yourself you are not good at anything. No one is born knowing how to dance, sing, draw, play a sport, etc. You have to start somewhere!!! So don't get discouraged!!!!
    para los gustos se hicieron los colores

    i has no hair type? (medium, f-iii), normal porosity, LOW elasticity.
    CG journey began 2/8/09 - 4-08-09.. and then mod cg 4/14/09 -... 03/02/10- Barely CG but I like CG products :)
    wash with Low Poo or Poo
    condition with GVP Conditioning Balm or CJ BC Daily, Loreal Color Vive for Color Treated Hair Thats Normal
    Leave ins- Garnier S&S; Marrakesh oil
    style with - Ohm SHP; KCCC- BRHG or Boots- KCCC- BRHG; CIAB; CCCC
    Protein- GVP Joico K-Pak
    Play with ACV
  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Posts: 3,061Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Having good grades and doing well in school is something to be really proud of. I have lots of hobbies but never got good grades. Doing well in school will open up so many doors for you in this world.
    Also, have you thought about talking to a counsel or a therapist? maybe they could open your eyes to things you didn't know you liked.
    Good luck and chin up!!!
  • alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
    Well I'm 14 and I live NYC.. My school has terrible after-school activities the only ones I'm in include academic-like things.. and the one I attend regularly includes helping people, working for charities stuff like that.. I'm not really allowed to go out anywhere or go to friend's houses. I just feel like I'm locked up in my house and like I'm going through the same routine in life. I dunno
    Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
    Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
    Currently using:
    • Garnier Fructis for curls
    • Suave gel
    • Co wash: Vo5 condish
    CG as of june 19, 09'
    =]

    http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
    Curls
    are SO much more fun
    to play
    with ^^:icescream:

  • alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
    Also, have you thought about talking to a counsel or a therapist? maybe they could open your eyes to things you didn't know you liked.

    My school only has one counselor and she's usually not available for the 8th grade..
    Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
    Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
    Currently using:
    • Garnier Fructis for curls
    • Suave gel
    • Co wash: Vo5 condish
    CG as of june 19, 09'
    =]

    http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
    Curls
    are SO much more fun
    to play
    with ^^:icescream:

  • burgundy_locksburgundy_locks Posts: 2,420Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    University Settlement was pretty much my home growing up. It's a really good after school program with a lot of different activities you can participate in. For the summer time, definitely look into the SYEP program (Summer Youth Employment Program) in NYC.

    There is seriously sooo much you can get into in NYC!! PM if you want. I know a lot of people who are involved in these kinds of programs and maybe I can help find something in your area.
    para los gustos se hicieron los colores

    i has no hair type? (medium, f-iii), normal porosity, LOW elasticity.
    CG journey began 2/8/09 - 4-08-09.. and then mod cg 4/14/09 -... 03/02/10- Barely CG but I like CG products :)
    wash with Low Poo or Poo
    condition with GVP Conditioning Balm or CJ BC Daily, Loreal Color Vive for Color Treated Hair Thats Normal
    Leave ins- Garnier S&S; Marrakesh oil
    style with - Ohm SHP; KCCC- BRHG or Boots- KCCC- BRHG; CIAB; CCCC
    Protein- GVP Joico K-Pak
    Play with ACV
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I know that feeling. It's hard when you're at school and surrounded by kids who DO things. Other kids are in sports, or take dance, or are great artists, involved in music, etc. It can make you feel kind of lame when you're not into any of that stuff.

    I was in chorus in middle school, and cheerleaded my Freshman year - but other than that, I had no involvement. I didn't do much for sports, and could never last very long when I took dance because my asthma would always have me dropping out.

    I read. A lot. That's pretty much my only 'thing'. I'm social, but I don't have a ton of close friends, and I don't have things that I sign up for. I love movies, and reading, crossword puzzles, and magazines. Oh and hair and makeup. That's what defines me. As you get older you become more comfortable in what makes you YOU. And you'll be proud of it because that's who you are.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I read over your post several times. I don't have any advice but I think that you did something good for yourself by opening up here. You do sound depressed to me. I hope you find a way to feel better soon.
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Please pm Burgundy Locks, too. It sounds like she has a lot of great ideas and connections for you.

    I hope you feel better soon. You seem very smart and well-spoken, and your curls and smile are lovely.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    When I read your post, I was concerned because you said you used to have a great relationship with your parents, but now your dad isn't in the picture.

    I went through something similar at your age and became depressed because of it. I was always a very shy, quiet kid, but a happy one. I went from feeling happy and secure to feeling quite lost when my father left. At the time, however, I had no idea why I felt the way I did, and no one knew about my problems. Since I was so shy, I kept them to myself and pretended everything was okay.

    When we're young it can be hard for us to come to terms with our emotions, because our ability to process them isn't fully developed yet. And so we might not even be able to pinpoint what's making us sad, which makes the whole thing even harder to understand and deal with.

    I don't want to jump to the conclusion that you're depressed. You might just be going through a period of transition. But it is something to watch out for, especially if you're not finding enjoyment in activities you used to like. And especially if your family has recently undergone a major change, like your father not being around any more.

    I would encourage you to talk to your mom or any receptive and supporting adult or friend about this issue more and try to get to the bottom of what's bothering you.

    And of course you can always talk to us, too. :flower:
  • alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
    I went through something similar at your age and became depressed because of it. I was always a very shy, quiet kid, but a happy one. I went from feeling happy and secure to feeling quite lost when my father left. At the time, however, I had no idea why I felt the way I did, and no one knew about my problems. Since I was so shy, I kept them to myself and pretended everything was okay.

    I didn't really mean that my dad and mom got divorced by not really in the picture I meant he still lives with us but he's not around much.. well not when he's sober. My dad's an alcoholic so most of the time he's either out getting drunk or home where I have to deal with him drunk.. I guess its sorta how you're saying it though.. I'm really shy and not many of my friends know my dad is an alcoholic & I guess thats where my problems start..
    My mom is not usually around a lot either because she works a whole lot and she doesn't have weekends off. I try to talk to my mom about how I feel but Its like she refuses to listen It's hard to tell her how I feel about anything anyways because she just keeps believing that my dad will be different but he never will and he doesn't want any help.
    So I'm cooped up at home most of the time dealing with these things.. and I guess thats why I don't do anything that I used to do, I've even started to stop doing my homework and when I do it I do it half-heartedly its just hard for me to do anything and I hate that my dad is back living with us because he when I was 7 he left and then around when I was 12 he came back and then he left when I was 13 and now he's back again. He's sort of the reason I think I'm so angry and sad I guess..
    But I usually feel terrible because I take it out on my mom because I feel like its her fault that he's here again. He's not a violent alcoholic not most of the time but he's more like a verbal abusive one.. And my grampa got diagnosed with cancer recently so I'm sure that isn't helping anything But sometimes these moods and this slump I'm in make me feel like I'm going crazy. =/
    Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
    Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
    Currently using:
    • Garnier Fructis for curls
    • Suave gel
    • Co wash: Vo5 condish
    CG as of june 19, 09'
    =]

    http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
    Curls
    are SO much more fun
    to play
    with ^^:icescream:

  • alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
    I hope you feel better soon. You seem very smart and well-spoken, and your curls and smile are lovely.

    thanks .. And thanks to everyone. It's nice to let things off my chest.
    Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
    Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
    Currently using:
    • Garnier Fructis for curls
    • Suave gel
    • Co wash: Vo5 condish
    CG as of june 19, 09'
    =]

    http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
    Curls
    are SO much more fun
    to play
    with ^^:icescream:

  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    You have an awful lot to deal with. No wonder you are in a slump. Sending warm wishes your way :wave:
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • zmanzzzzzmanzzzz Banned Posts: 3,826Banned Users
    you are good at not paragraphing.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,391Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Wow, that is a lot to deal with :(

    You should definitely try to find a therapist. You should be able to find free or inexpensive services, but it will take a lot of googling around. I don't know much about NYC, but hopefully someone else here can help you find an organization that you can get to easily.

    Since you're a teen and the child of an alcoholic, there should be organizations geared toward helping you. You may want to start with Alateen.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Second the Alateen suggestion.
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    alot_of_curls, my father was an alcoholic too. It's why my parents divorced and why he abandoned us, rather than keeping up with his visitations. It's a horrible disease that makes people hurt the people they love.

    What you are going through is very challenging — no wonder you're struggling with it! I highly recommend getting some help. Alateen is a great suggestion. You are young, but not so young that you cannot take matters into your own hands to some degree. I wish I had had therapy or a support group when I was going through it. It would have made all the difference in the world.

    And please let us know how you're doing, no matter how you decide to proceed. Okay? :)
  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Posts: 3,061Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    zmanzzzz wrote: »
    you are good at not paragraphing.
    Now that wasn't very nice. why would you say that?
  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Posts: 3,061Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Is it possible to see you GP? It sounds like you should talk to a professional.
    Also, you mentioned the counselor at your school usually doesn't deal with 8th graders?? I think if you told her you really needed to talk they would make time. Let them know it is very important that you speak with someone.
    also, i didn't go back and read your post (from yesterday) but did you say your parents don't let you have friends? or let them come over? it seems someone needs to speak to your parents. This is so unfair to you. If that is not the case I'm sorry and I spoke out of line.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    zmanzzzz wrote: »
    you are good at not paragraphing.
    Now that wasn't very nice. why would you say that?

    Agree. Pointless. Unpleasant and unnecessary.
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • KrazyblondegurlKrazyblondegurl Posts: 1,008Registered Users
    My heart goes out to you.

    I can relate a little bit.

    Try to get involved in some sort of group...either a support group or a social group.

    Make a list of things you enjoy...what makes you happy? (even if you're not good at it)

    I used to think "Oh I don't have hobbies. I'm not good at anything." I'm now 32 and my list of interests include...reading, gardening, yoga, traveling, design, nursing, antiques, photography, art. Am I good at any of it?! No not really, but I enjoy them nonetheless.

    Try to be strong despite your dad. Please try to find somebody to help you through this.
  • divamisstdivamisst Posts: 293Registered Users
    Well I'm 14 and I live NYC.. My school has terrible after-school activities the only ones I'm in include academic-like things.. and the one I attend regularly includes helping people, working for charities stuff like that.. I'm not really allowed to go out anywhere or go to friend's houses. I just feel like I'm locked up in my house and like I'm going through the same routine in life. I dunno

    I think it's WONDERFUL that you help out other people and work with charities, especially at your age!! That's really great--would you be able to do more with that group? Is that something you are even interested in? It might help you get out of the house more, and it might make you feel better about yourself when you are helping others. I'm so sorry about your situation--are there any other family members that you can talk to that might be able to help you speak with your mom on your behalf? And I do agree with everyone else about finding an Alateen group, I think that would help tremendously.
    3b :hello2:
    co-wash: suave naturals coconut conditioner, DB pumpkin seed conditioner
    rinse out: garnier triple nutrition
    leave in: garnier triple nutrition, kckt
    stylers: HETT, AOMM, BRHG, AG Re:Coil, Jessicurl Rockin Ringlets, CJ Curl Fuel, HairVeda CoCasta Shikakai Oil, DB Natural Coils Curling Jelly, DB Coconut & Aloe Moisture Pudding, KCCC.....CHS Curl Keeper (doesn't seem to like the Iowa winter though LOL)
    want to try: EVERYTHING!! (you guys are turning me into a big-time PJ!)
  • alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
    Is it possible to see you GP? It sounds like you should talk to a professional.
    Also, you mentioned the counselor at your school usually doesn't deal with 8th graders?? I think if you told her you really needed to talk they would make time. Let them know it is very important that you speak with someone.
    also, i didn't go back and read your post (from yesterday) but did you say your parents don't let you have friends? or let them come over? it seems someone needs to speak to your parents. This is so unfair to you. If that is not the case I'm sorry and I spoke out of line.

    Yeah I said that I'm not really allowed over at friends' houses but Its okay.. my moms not that over protective haha.
    Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
    Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
    Currently using:
    • Garnier Fructis for curls
    • Suave gel
    • Co wash: Vo5 condish
    CG as of june 19, 09'
    =]

    http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
    Curls
    are SO much more fun
    to play
    with ^^:icescream:

  • alot_of_curlsalot_of_curls Posts: 149Registered Users
    And thanks to all of you for your support and advice. I'll look into Alateen and try to speak to someone I trust.. I'm glad that I finally got these feelings off my chest. You guys are awesome and I'm glad some of you know how I feel and know what I'm going through! =D you guys really did lift my spirits Thanks.
    Length- mid-back; long layers -shorter in front:love5:
    Thick 2/3b normal porosity. My hair likes creme & gel combos.
    Currently using:
    • Garnier Fructis for curls
    • Suave gel
    • Co wash: Vo5 condish
    CG as of june 19, 09'
    =]

    http://public.fotki.com/eccentric-curls/
    Curls
    are SO much more fun
    to play
    with ^^:icescream:

  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    And thanks to all of you for your support and advice. I'll look into Alateen and try to speak to someone I trust.. I'm glad that I finally got these feelings off my chest. You guys are awesome and I'm glad some of you know how I feel and know what I'm going through! =D you guys really did lift my spirits Thanks.

    I'm glad. I hope you find good support , alot_of_curls. You seem like a smart cookie, especially for someone so young. And you have gorgeous hair! ;-)

    Make sure to let us know how you're doing.
  • AmdaAmda Posts: 251Registered Users
    I don't have anything new to suggest to give you a hand, but I went through teen depression just a few years ago so if you ever feel like a chat with someone who's been there, feel free to PM me :). A lot of the emotions and actions you're describing sound very familiar.

    You sound like a wonderful, caring and intelligent person. I wish you the best of luck in finding support.
    Fine and thin 2C in Australia
  • wonderdiana - shopaholic takes a napwonderdiana - shopaholic takes a nap Posts: 1,728Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    To tell you the truth I'm 26 and I still kind of feel like I'm not good at anything! I promised I'll work on it :)

    I would suggest you really try getting involved in more school groups even if they seem lame. I really wish I'd done more of that. It may be a good way to make friends and just get out of the house more. Overprotective parents are not fun, I know.

    Like everyone else has said you're going through at lot what with your father and being at a transitional age. I feel for you, but it's very good that you have this awareness of what's going on! Just keep up with your schoolwork, find some kind of support and something you like to do even if it's not necessarily something you're good at.
    2C/3A -- wurly!
  • NalliaNallia Posts: 2,979Registered Users
    And thanks to all of you for your support and advice. I'll look into Alateen and try to speak to someone I trust.. I'm glad that I finally got these feelings off my chest. You guys are awesome and I'm glad some of you know how I feel and know what I'm going through! =D you guys really did lift my spirits Thanks.
    Definitely do. :)

    I am 37 now, but my father was an alcoholic as well. I could have written almost your exact original post at 14. I am proud of you for reaching out and deciding to get some help for yourself. I did not get help until I was in my 20s and I carried depression and many issues with trust and insecurity for way longer than I should have. I still struggle with it all at times.
    "...just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face." ~Harry Dresden

    a33304d72319c25b3ad2d4d075ab3bc0.jpg
  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    I'm not sure what I'm good at. I really don't think I have any hobbies. My life is pretty boring.. I guess the only thing I'm good at is getting good grades in school. I remember when I was younger I used to love playing outside and I used to like art and drawing and singing and dancing I loved to do everything. But now I feel like I don't get anything done. My mom even says that now I'm unenthusiastic about everything.. I used to have a great relationship with my parents but now I feel like I don't and I have a lot of friends but I'm reserved to them all I don't tell anyone whats on my mind or what my problems are. I feel like all of this is why I'm depressed or something like that.. I was depressed a few years ago but I got over it by myself. But I just feel kind of alone, I'm mostly alone all the time because my mom works and my dad isn't really in the picture. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me.. How do I become like I used to be? I'm just so confused and I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay all the time because there's something wrong with me and I don't even know what it is.. I hope this makes sense and I'm sorry for venting on the internet to random strangers.. I guess Its easier to talk to someone you don't know about your problems.

    First off, let me say I think everyone's suggestions are great. If there's a way to get help, to find someone to talk to, or to get involved in things, go for it.

    But I just wanted to say that I read this and thought ,"Hmmm, is she 14? I bet she's between 13-16. She's gotta be". I think a LOT of young teenagers feel that way. Like your relationship with your parents sucks all of a sudden, like everyone else is really outgoing and open and doesn't have problems, like there's nothing exciting, like you just feel lethargic. It's called adolescence. Do whatever you can to try to get through it, but just know that you WILL get through it, and you'll have a great life on the other side.
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON

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