Was that a compliment?!

Curly2dayCurly2day Posts: 47Registered Users Curl Neophyte
Hey all!

I'm so excited! A permie (former hair stylist at that) said to me today, "I wish my hair was curly like yours." Not even flinching or thinking about it I responded, "well you know what to do. . .leave it be and yours will curl up too." I smiled and left it at that.

But I think she gave me a bit of a questioning, strange look. What do you all think that was about? I spend so much time on these forums that I just imagine everyone with their own healthy, natural, coily, kinky, curly hair.

As for me, I was thrilled later as I realized someone referred to my hair as "curly". I don't really see myself that way but I am trying to stay moisturized so as to keep my coils happy. I must be doing something right. :toothy8:

Thanks for all the great info on this site!
4A, extremely fine, delicate and porous
Shampoo - Suave Naturals (only as needed)
Co-Wash - V05, Suave
DT - AO: WC, GPB, Swimmers, Blue Green Algae, HSR
Leave In - Giovanni 50/50
Moisturizer - conditioner, glycerin, H20, oils
Styler - not sure yet how or why? maybe Aussie Moist?
Ayurveda Staples - Amla, Brahmi, Nupur Henna

Comments

  • h2wQueenh2wQueen Posts: 551Registered Users
    Interesting. I think sometimes people say that but they dont' really mean it, hence the look. Or sometimes they assume you have "good" hair and they can never have hair that looks good without a perm.
    "We Live From the Head Down and Not the Feet Up" ~Donnie
  • maysaymaysay Posts: 218Registered Users
    Honestly, when I get that being said to me I don't feel it's a compliment (even though the person may mean it as one). Usually it's accompanied by a wistful look at my hair and then a comment like "but mine is too nappy to go without a relaxer".

    It always rubs me the wrong way because I think in the black community "curly" has always had positive values attached to it (ie it's better, more acceptable), while "coily" or stereotypically "nappy/kinky" hair has negative values attached to it. To use "curly" with those things attached to it just doesn't make me feel good. That mindset just makes me uncomfortable.

    Whenever the comment comes from a black person, it's always had those ideas clearly attached to it and I make it my mission to reject that and then try to rebuild that person's idea of why my hair is beautiful and how their hair can be the same.

  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have a question - why'd you tell her that her hair would "curl up" too? Not everyone has curls/coils, so maybe that's why she looked at you funny.
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
    YouTube
    Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • Curly2dayCurly2day Posts: 47Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You know, I thought that too. . .it really depends on one's hair texture as to whether or not they get curls or coily or what, right? Maybe that's why she was not sure how to respond.

    I have to remember that we all have different hair textures and I need to try harder not to impose my hair values onto others. I know everyone does not necessarily want to work with their natural hair. It is very much a choice.
    4A, extremely fine, delicate and porous
    Shampoo - Suave Naturals (only as needed)
    Co-Wash - V05, Suave
    DT - AO: WC, GPB, Swimmers, Blue Green Algae, HSR
    Leave In - Giovanni 50/50
    Moisturizer - conditioner, glycerin, H20, oils
    Styler - not sure yet how or why? maybe Aussie Moist?
    Ayurveda Staples - Amla, Brahmi, Nupur Henna
  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Posts: 6,446Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hair values are fine, and I always am sure to advocate natural hair (as long as it's not forceful). But hair is so different, so that's might be why she looked at you funny, b/c she might not have curly hair. Anytime I talk to someone about natural hair I am sure to emphasize hair health, especially if they compliment my hair, because 9/10 their hair is going to be different from mine, and if it's not what they expected I don't want them mad at me, lol!
    BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
    YouTube
    Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • gagirl09gagirl09 Posts: 2,316Registered Users
    Yeah I made that mistake early on with my sister. I thought we would have the same texture because we were- well sisters. However I think her hair is different from mine. I would like to see it again. She is going natural too and wears sew-ins a lot.
    Last relaxer: Nov. 24, 2008
    BC: December 19, 2009
    Products: Whatever works!
  • Curly2dayCurly2day Posts: 47Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Lesson learned! Now if only I could keep Grandma from asking me when I am going to straighten my hair! :roll:
    4A, extremely fine, delicate and porous
    Shampoo - Suave Naturals (only as needed)
    Co-Wash - V05, Suave
    DT - AO: WC, GPB, Swimmers, Blue Green Algae, HSR
    Leave In - Giovanni 50/50
    Moisturizer - conditioner, glycerin, H20, oils
    Styler - not sure yet how or why? maybe Aussie Moist?
    Ayurveda Staples - Amla, Brahmi, Nupur Henna

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