weaning blues

mayimmayim Registered Users Posts: 2,301
hey mamas,

just writing for some support today ...

even though i had wanted to let lydia self-wean, and had wanted to at least reach the two-year mark, i am having to wean her now for various reasons.

it's probably the worst timing in the universe (she started in a new schoo, her father and i have separated, we are moving house in a week, etc.), but i don't really have a choice at the moment.

i find that i am really facing a shift in mood that i think is probably due to a drop in hormones as much as to the sadness of the process.

we had been weaning gradually, but it was just too much push and pull everyday, so monday morning was our last nursing.

since then i've been completely exhausted, short tempered, irritable, depressed, etc. not getting enough sleep is not helping (in keeping with the theme of bad timing, i am also doing to sleep lady shuffle to help her get accustomed to sleeping in her own bed).

i feel sad because i am a strong proponent of attachment and responsive parenting, and have tried my best to mother her in this way, but now i am faced with having to force some changes that are not entirely natural in order to preserve my mental health so i can be at least a functioning mother to her. (i'm sure many of you know i've been struggling with post partum depression off and on since she was 10 weeks old).

i guess i just needed to get this out there in a safe place, and ask for some virtual support.

also to hear other mom's experiences of weaning, and whether or not you felt you experienced any hormonal shifts.

i feel like i need a big ol' cry, and to sleep for a few days. it's like the worst case of pms ever.

m
coarse, thick 3a
modified cg



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Comments

  • KaiaKaia Registered Users Posts: 8,815 Curl Connoisseur
    I am so so sorry you are going through this. Sometimes we have to make a less desirable choice for our children in order to be better parents overall. You are a strong, loving mama, and that's what Lydia will remember when she grows up. Lots of (((HUGS)))!
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    Kaia wrote: »
    I am so so sorry you are going through this. Sometimes we have to make a less desirable choice for our children in order to be better parents overall. You are a strong, loving mama, and that's what Lydia will remember when she grows up. Lots of (((HUGS)))!

    Ditto, lots of hugs.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    I meant to reach out to you a few days ago, when I read about your separation. I'm really sorry. I know you've struggled in many different ways, since the birth of Lydia. Weaning is bittersweet, even under the best of circumstances. I weaned my son cold turkey, when he was 15 months. I still hadn't gotten my first PPAF and was anxious to conceive again.

    With my second child, I also weaned abruptly at 15 months, but it was because I had lost a pregnancy early in the second trimester and was in so much emotional pain that I didn't have it in me to nurse my toddler. I was so sad and just trying to hold it together.

    My third self-weaned when she decided she didn't like the taste of my milk. She was almost 2 years-old and I didn't fight it, as breastfeeding made me feel very uncomfortable. I was ready for her to wean, but still a little sad.

    You need to do what is best for you. It's totally understandable to feel sad about ending this phase of your relationship with Lydia. But these feelings will pass with time. {{{Hugs}}
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    Ditto Kaia and geeky. Sending (((HUGS))) your way.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    (((Hugs))), mama, I've been wondering how you're doing. I needed to wean Aidan earlier than I would have liked and I still feel bad about it many months later, but Kaia phrased it perfectly.
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    I'm sorry you have been having a rough time. I will keep you in my thoughts.

    I remember feeling relieved when I weaned my daughter (mostly because I was tired of having to pump at work), but it was very sad to know when I was ending that stage in our lives. There is a loss of closeness you can't explain.
  • RheannaRheanna Registered Users Posts: 2,614
    Kaia wrote: »
    I am so so sorry you are going through this. Sometimes we have to make a less desirable choice for our children in order to be better parents overall. You are a strong, loving mama, and that's what Lydia will remember when she grows up. Lots of (((HUGS)))!

    I don't think I could say anything more insightful than this. Tons of HUGS to you, mayim. If you need a big ol' cry, have one.
    DPTFm5.png
  • mayimmayim Registered Users Posts: 2,301
    thanks all for your replies and support.

    i was prepared for it to be sad, just not fully expecting a recurrence of depression and such a hormone adjustment whallop.

    i'm crying and resting and caring for myself, while the little one visits her dad's extended family for the holiday for a bit.

    i know i'll get through it, and there will be a new kind of closeness for she and i.

    thanks again, if you'll keep sending me virtual hugs, i know i'll feel them.

    happy holidays!

    xo
    m

    (an extra special hug to you rhe - i know you'll get through these intense first days of motherhood well too, it gets easier, it really does! you're a fantastic mama!)
    coarse, thick 3a
    modified cg



    weight.png



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