I don't think I'm cut out for this

RheannaRheanna Registered Users Posts: 2,614
The past couple days have been awful. Ava has done nothing all day today but fuss and scream. My bf isn't here tonight, I've had zero help from anyone but him - and he has to work, so he isn't here very much during the day, and I am exhausted. No one else has been here for more than a couple hours at a time to visit. I've not even had the token help from my mother. She hasn't changed so much as one diaper.

I just want to sleep for more than an hour. Actually, I want to leave my baby with someone else for a bit, and run away. Right now I feel like I'm not cut out for this motherhood thing and I think I've cried more than her today. I thought I would be better at this.

Please tell me this is normal and it will pass. No, I'm not depressed, I don't want to harm myself or my baby, I just want some sleep or some help. Or both. And a shower.
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Comments

  • deezee02deezee02 Registered Users Posts: 1,509
    Hugs....many many hugs.

    I know it is tough. Motherhood is one of the toughest jobs, but like anything that is tough, it has the best rewards.

    My parents live out of town, and DH works long crazy hours so I am right there with you. My best time of advise is to fit yourself into your baby's life rather than fitting her into yours. If she is sleeping at 8am in the morning, sleep with her for example.

    Are you BFing or FFing? I found early that Callie had some sensitivities to food and I had to cut some things out since I was BFing her. I also found with her that I could catch some sleep by feeding her sidelying. With Steven we had to try different formula's to find one that really worked. Are you feeding on demand or on a schedule? I found both kids did much better with fed on demand as opposed to the schedule the dr.s wanted me to put them on.

    What about a sling or other kind of carrier...I found this worked really well for Callie.

    Have you tried swaddling? I got the miracle swaddle blanket with Steven and it worked wonders with both kids...Steven slept through the night all the time with it and Callie used it until she could flip onto her belly. Callie did not sleep through the night, but she would sleep for 3 hours typically.

    I honeslty think the first 6 weeks are hell. BUT you are in the wosrt right now and it only gets better. At three months is gets better and by 6 months it is like a light switch has gone off.
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  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Registered Users Posts: 1,340
    deezee02 wrote: »
    Hugs....many many hugs.

    I know it is tough. Motherhood is one of the toughest jobs, but like anything that is tough, it has the best rewards.

    My parents live out of town, and DH works long crazy hours so I am right there with you. My best time of advise is to fit yourself into your baby's life rather than fitting her into yours. If she is sleeping at 8am in the morning, sleep with her for example.

    Are you BFing or FFing? I found early that Callie had some sensitivities to food and I had to cut some things out since I was BFing her. I also found with her that I could catch some sleep by feeding her sidelying. With Steven we had to try different formula's to find one that really worked. Are you feeding on demand or on a schedule? I found both kids did much better with fed on demand as opposed to the schedule the dr.s wanted me to put them on.

    What about a sling or other kind of carrier...I found this worked really well for Callie.

    Have you tried swaddling? I got the miracle swaddle blanket with Steven and it worked wonders with both kids...Steven slept through the night all the time with it and Callie used it until she could flip onto her belly. Callie did not sleep through the night, but she would sleep for 3 hours typically.

    I honeslty think the first 6 weeks are hell. BUT you are in the wosrt right now and it only gets better. At three months is gets better and by 6 months it is like a light switch has gone off.

    + 1 big time. Do what you need to do to get sleep no matter what. If you don't you'll start to go a little cuckoo. I didn't even know I was fitting myself around my son when I was doing it but it saved my life. He was a terrible sleeper for 8 months (this is not the norm so please don't freak) and I slept when he did. Now that I have 3 kids this kinda of thing is impossible. The crying is normal for some kids. It will pass. Just try to remain calm and a nurse once told me that if I was really upset I wasn't helping so simply put the baby down somewhere safe and go pee or something LOL. In those moments where I thought I was really going to lose my mind I did and it helped. I was like you... no one came around to help me. Just try to do little things for yourself when you can and try to laugh a little it helps a lot.
  • SigiSigi Registered Users Posts: 2,379
    She could be sensitive to what you're eating like too much milk, or too much acidic food. With my first I had to cut out a lot of dairy, and tomato sauce irritated him too, I think. Maybe she's got gas. And swaddling is good too


    Lots of hugs, Rheanna. I'm surprised your mom isn't helping as much, you seemed so close. Is it because she's an hour away? But I agree with everyone else to take a nap when Ava sleeps. It will get better! Lots and lots of hugs!
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Registered Users Posts: 7,135 Curl Novice
    It will get better! For the first two weeks, Danae slept great. After that, it was a month of her having her days and nights mixed up; it felt like torture, and I felt like a loon. Just as quickly, she got into a routine and was so much better.

    Just sleep when Ava is asleep--it doesn't matter what time it is. She will get into a routine, I promise. And I echo what curlygirlme said about putting her down for a minute when you feel overwhelmed. Sometimes you just need to breathe for a sec, and that's okay.

    Maybe RCW will pop in here with some advice. I know she got all of her kids on a sleep schedule really early on. I'm sure she'll have some good tips for you.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Registered Users Posts: 2,671 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry. I don't know if you saw my post a few weeks ago but Sebastian has been a pretty unhappy baby as well. It gets better. The first few weeks are a blur but it does get better.

    Do you know someone or could you hire someone to come by and watch her while you sleep? Just one good nap really does make a difference.

    Also, white noise helps calm him a lot when he is crying. I play ocean sounds but radio static, the hair dryer, or the vacuum work as well.

    It will get better and you will be great at this.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    It's totally normal. It does get better. I'd sit on the floor with Adam after Phil went to work and I'd cry along with him. I'd be like :help: but never asked for it. Can you ask your mom or someone close by that you trust? 6-8 weeks is when most babies start settling into a more predictable sleep pattern at night. I'd suggest laying down and sleeping with her when she naps. I got more sleep when I started doing this. A few hours makes a world of difference.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    deezee had excellent suggestions. Also, are you cosleeping? I find that it definitely helps me to keep my sanity because I don't have to get out of bed when Abram wakes at night, except for diaper changes. And also ditto to deezee on using a sling/carrier of some sort - then you can wear her while you go about your normal business and she'll (hopefully) be snuggled up and happy.

    But yes, it is normal to feel this way, and it does NOT mean you aren't cut out for motherhood. (((HUGS))) to you.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • deezee02deezee02 Registered Users Posts: 1,509
    White noise is fabulous. Steven had to have the vacuum on (we burnt out the motor of our vacuum during his first few months) in a dark room in the swing.

    Callie needs a fan on to sleep. Even a bathroom fan helps her.

    I found the 5 s's to be very helpful as well...

    swaddle
    swing
    shhhh (white noise or shhhh in her ear)
    suck
    side/stomach

    you can also try a hold I found good for colicky babies...place your arm by your belly, palm up towards the ceiling, place baby in your arm, legs straddling your arm and head resting on you hand. then you your other arm to stabilize her. Her body should be facing the floor with your arm supporting her (clear as mud?)
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  • goldygoldy Registered Users Posts: 5,463 Curl Connoisseur
    It is normal... you are normal!

    It can be almost like you're living in survival mode, just trying to get by day after day.

    But it gets better... by 6 weeks I started to feel like I was making huge strides... now at 3 months I feel like I've basically got it figured out... I know that at 6 months I'll feel even better, etc etc.

    As others said, sleep when baby sleeps. Try to get some easy fix meals around (even just microwave dinners -- it's better than nothing). Drink plenty of water (I would carry around a big jug with a straw filled with ice water)... and cry if you need to cry, let your emotions flow.
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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Registered Users Posts: 7,135 Curl Novice
    Your hormones are still out of whack, too. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you're doing great, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    Sounds like you got a crybaby. Not unusual. The-baby-who-sits-happy-and-quiet-in-a-bouncy-seat-all-day-and-sleeps-all-night is a myth. We can all give tips, but you're going to have to find, by trial and error, what works specifically for Ava.

    You'll probably have to hold her most of the time that she's awake. Again, not unusual. I think I held each of my kids the entire first year. When she falls asleep in your arms, I think it's important to go put her down in her crib (even if she wakes a little bit in the process), and just rock or pat her back to sleep. This will teach her to put herself to sleep from a drowsy state. I'd wake her for feedings in the daytime, at least every 2-3 hours. All babies are born with their days/nights confused, but most will sleep a solid 3-6 hours at some point during the day. Your job is to gradually move that chunk of sleep time to the time of day that you really need to sleep...for me it was midnight-6am. This is done by keeping baby awake in the daytime as much as possible and trying to reform her current sleep pattern into a semblence of a schedule that includes 2 daytime naps of 2ish hours each and a 4-6 hour night-time stretch of sleeping that gradually increases up to 12 hours over the next few months, all of which are done in the crib. I allowed little catnaps at other times of the day in the bouncy seat, but I didn't count that as part of their "real" sleep and I was woke them for feedings during their bouncy-seat sleeps.

    If she's not sleeping for a large chunk of time, you need to figure out why...most likely it's because she's startling herself awake because you're listening to the "experts" who say you're supposed to put babies to sleep on their backs. I find parents who follow those rules are very, very tired, because newborns do not sleep well on their backs. It activates the newborn startle reflex and they wake up every 20 minutes. Most parents soon realize that if they want any sleep themselves at all, they need to relax those rules or at least bend them a little. You could try flipping her over onto her tummy and see if she sleeps better that way. Back sleeping is only one of the risk factors for SIDS. A cool sleeping room, with minimal loose blankets, and a firm mattress are other things that greatly reduce SIDS risk. If you really are adverse to putting her on her tummy, try swaddling (tightly, with arms swaddled also) and/or placing her (propped with a rolled blanket or two) on her side. Or try sleeping with her, with you on your back and her on her tummy on your chest.

    The "5 S's" really do work well for soothing a fussy baby. Sometimes, though, babies just need to cry. It's normal and natural and, much as you want to, you can't cure everything for them. I held my babies during their fussy times (and I had 2 colicky babies who cried for 6 hours straight every night for months), and I tried to soothe them, and they were happier in my arms than just left to cry in a seat or crib, but they still cried and fussed. Then, suddenly, at around 12 weeks, they stopped doing that and turned into fat happy cherubs. That's the pattern with most crybabies, and I think your crybaby will be better by then too. Hang in there. It's a journey, not a destination, so enjoy the trip. Babyhood is so very precious...and so fleeting. Savor every moment, even the crybaby moments, because they don't last but a minute.

    Oh, another thing I found to facilitate good sleeping habits was music. I used it as a conditioning method. Every time I put them down to sleep in the crib, I turned on the music...the same music, at the same volume, every time, and played it softly for about 15 minutes, sometimes putting it on again. Over time, this conditioned them to know that the music and crib meant sleep and I could put them in there awake, turn on the music, and they would just put their heads down. It has to be started very young to really work though. So, if you're interested in doing that, start doing it now.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Banned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
    Rheanna, do you have one of those aquarium thingys on the side of the bed? I still have the little one's if ya want it...
    Hang in there..it will get better :)
  • RheannaRheanna Registered Users Posts: 2,614
    I'll write more later when I have more time, but I wanted to thank you all for your advice and especially for the reassurance. This is definitely harder than I thought it would be, but I know this period in her life is so small that it will all just be a blur later. And I'll probably miss it.

    She ended up chilling out late last night after farting and burping a ridiculous amount, so I think she had gas more than anything else. Of course I feel awful for being so frustrated with her and especially for the song I made up and sang repeatedly while changing her and watching her scream of, "Mommy's going to lose her effing mind, if you don't stop crying all the damn time."

    Anyway, thanks again, and I will definitely post more as soon as I have the free moment (as in when her Dad gets here this evening hopefully!).
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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Registered Users Posts: 7,135 Curl Novice
    Rheanna wrote: »
    I'll write more later when I have more time, but I wanted to thank you all for your advice and especially for the reassurance. This is definitely harder than I thought it would be, but I know this period in her life is so small that it will all just be a blur later. And I'll probably miss it.

    She ended up chilling out late last night after farting and burping a ridiculous amount, so I think she had gas more than anything else. Of course I feel awful for being so frustrated with her and especially for the song I made up and sang repeatedly while changing her and watching her scream of, "Mommy's going to lose her effing mind, if you don't stop crying all the damn time."

    Anyway, thanks again, and I will definitely post more as soon as I have the free moment (as in when her Dad gets here this evening hopefully!).

    That might be the most awesome lullaby of all time...LOL Don't feel too badly; one night, Danae cried off and on from midnight until almost 7 a.m. At one point I was so frustrated that I kept saying, "Please, please shut up, baby." Then I felt bad because what kind of bad mom tells her baby to shut up?

    Mylicon works wonders for gassy tummies. Danae was a toot-monster sometimes. We also would lay her down and alternate between massaging her tummy in a clockwise circle and pushing her knees up toward her tummy to let the farts out.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Registered Users Posts: 5,844 Curl Neophyte
    If she's not sleeping for a large chunk of time, you need to figure out why...most likely it's because she's startling herself awake because you're listening to the "experts" who say you're supposed to put babies to sleep on their backs. I find parents who follow those rules are very, very tired, because newborns do not sleep well on their backs. It activates the newborn startle reflex and they wake up every 20 minutes. Most parents soon realize that if they want any sleep themselves at all, they need to relax those rules or at least bend them a little. You could try flipping her over onto her tummy and see if she sleeps better that way. Back sleeping is only one of the risk factors for SIDS. A cool sleeping room, with minimal loose blankets, and a firm mattress are other things that greatly reduce SIDS risk. If you really are adverse to putting her on her tummy, try swaddling (tightly, with arms swaddled also) and/or placing her (propped with a rolled blanket or two) on her side. Or try sleeping with her, with you on your back and her on her tummy on your chest.
    Thank you for posting this!!! After 2 weeks of virtually no sleep because of the startling reflex we put DD on her tummy. I was terrified because the "experts" said it was wrong and my baby would die. Well she didn't. We did start to get some good sleep though. I realize that the experts aren't necessarily completely wrong but you have to do what is best for you two and what you are comfortable with.

    With DS I swaddled him tight and had him sleep on his side in a sleep positioner. He didn't like to sleep on his tummy at all so this worked best for us. My sister also swears by swaddling. My neice would wiggle out of a typical swaddle but after my sister got special swaddling blankets she slept great.

    I really feel for you. When DD was born we had just moved to a different state far from everyone we knew. DH was gone for work a lot, long hours and weeks away at a time. I was virtually alone with DD, not even any friends. It was extremely difficult. I didn't realize how hard the beginning of motherhood was going to be. Your feelings are completely normal. But guess what? You are already a good mom, you have been for months. From all your posts we know that you love Ava and have wanted to be her mommy from the beginning and that's what's really important. Now you just need to find what works for both of you. You'll get there. Remember this IS your first time at the rodeo :)
    High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    ((Hugs))

    Those first months are so hard. You've gotten great advice.

    I just wanted to add a little about the 5 S's in case you haven't heard of that before. You can read more about it in The Happiest Baby on the Block (there's a video too). It's basically 5 things that done all together help recreate the feeling of being in the womb and are really soothing for newborns. They are: Swaddle, Swing (or bounce or walk, etc), SHHH (loud white noise), Side (or tummy), and Suck (on breast, finger, pacifier).

    It really does get better!
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    I'm sorry, no you're not a bad mom and I hope you can see that many of us have been there. The first few months after having my daughter, I felt like I went through the highest highs and the lowest lows. It is rough and I had a lot of help. I can't even imagine what you're juggling. Many, many hugs.
  • KrazyblondegurlKrazyblondegurl Registered Users Posts: 1,008
    I'm not a mom, but a pediatric nurse and I've had to deal with a lot of crying fussy babies in the middle of the night. So this is just my experience.

    I agree everybody's postings...great tips.

    I just want to reiterate some tips that I do to make babies happy. Very basic steps:

    Make sure they aren't hungry.
    Make sure their diaper is changed.
    Make sure they had a good burp after feeding.
    Make sure they are swaddled tight...I like thin receiving blankets that are big enough to get a good swaddle.
    Suck...stick that binky in their mouth.
    Reposition as needed....like RCW said sometimes belly or side helps a lot...not that I should recommend that as a peds nurse, but sometimes I'll roll a blanket and use it to prop baby on her side or under butt or whatever.

    And this is my number one biggest thing...create a relaxing peaceful enviroment...
    No bright lights
    No loud noises
    Clean environment
    Calm demeanor...babies can sense your anxiety.
    Nice relaxing music....I always find a classical or light listening station for my babies to listen to...works a lot!!!

    Hang in there. Sometimes nothing works and you just have to put them in the crib, shut the door, and go take a break!

    And I'm sure when if I'm ever a mom and none of the above tips work I'll be here freaking out to all of you! :wink:
  • marielle448marielle448 Registered Users Posts: 1,823
    You've been offered great advice and like others have said, completely normal to feel overwhelmed. It's a huge adjustment.

    My recommendation is to take a mom & baby retreat. To heck with the house, grab a bunch of granola bars or other healthy shelf stable treats, a huge bottle of water and plant yourself and baby in a nice comfy bed with the phone and a tv remote nearby. Nurse, eat, drink, sleep, repeat and if you get bored or awake read a book that's handy or watch TV. Just relax and rest and eat to keep up your supply and in a day or two of caught up rest you'll be able to get up and about more.

    Hang in there. Like RCW mentioned sometime around the three month mark or when baby doubles her birth weight they completely settle down and are much more joyful around that awful witching hour between 4-7pm.
  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Registered Users Posts: 1,340
    Oh, another thing I found to facilitate good sleeping habits was music. I used it as a conditioning method. Every time I put them down to sleep in the crib, I turned on the music...the same music, at the same volume, every time, and played it softly for about 15 minutes, sometimes putting it on again. Over time, this conditioned them to know that the music and crib meant sleep and I could put them in there awake, turn on the music, and they would just put their heads down. It has to be started very young to really work though. So, if you're interested in doing that, start doing it now.

    I just figured this one out with number 3. Same music every night, same things every night. Helps a lot and swaddling is great. 2 out of 3 of my kids loved it : )
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Registered Users Posts: 2,904
    It is very tough to have a newborn and not have any help. My husband was in Basic Training when Lilly was born, so it was just the two of us after his four day leave ended.

    I remember just walking around our apartment one night holding her and gently shaking my arms to keep her calm.

    Here are some things that helped us...

    White noise machine...I bought one when she was 1.5 weeks old and we still use it at the same volume and same sound 18 months later.

    Swaddling and the 5 S's.

    Tummy sleeping...I noticed in those first few days that she had decent head control and that she liked being placed on her stomach. I started out with naps during the day and moved onto the night sleeping a few days later at 3 weeks old. We don't smoke, we keep our room cool, nothing was in theP-N-p except for her...

    Pacifer...she loved to suck.

    I would lie down on my back and put her stomach down on my chest. I never got the best sleep like this, but I would get some.

    These were the things that I did most often, but I am sure that I did some more. I will post later if I think of any of them.

    I think she would probably sleep 4-4.5 hours in those early weeks. I do remember that she started sleeping a full 11-12 hours right at the 3 month period. That lasted until 7.5 months when she started teething.

    I will be the lone person to say that I didn't sleep when the baby was sleeping. I cannot go to sleep at a reasonable time at night if I have napped during the day. It doesn't matter how tired I am. I will not go to sleep. I wouldn't let myself nap during the day. I knew that I wouldn't get into bed when I put her down for the night and I would be wanting to get into bed as she was waking up. I would put her down, get a quick shower, write my husband a letter, and get into bed.
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  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    No advice sweetie, but lots of hugs!!!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Registered Users Posts: 3,077
    No advice sweetie, but lots of hugs!!!

    Ditto!

    Don't feel bad asking for help from the people around you if you need it. You don't need to be superwoman!
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    You've already received some great advice. 2 out of my 3 cried a lot and I had very little help. I also am not one for daytime sleeping although I would take a nap every few days during the early weeks. Most days though, I preferred a shower to a nap while they were napping. Anyway, I just wanted to offer some support and to reassure you that this stage doesn't last forever (and pretty soon you actually will forget that she cried so much, at least, that's been my experience). (((hugs)))
  • deedlesdeedles Registered Users Posts: 2,467 Curl Connoisseur
    *HUGS* Rheanna. you have gotten tons o advice here so you should be good to go... just wanted to offer my support.
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  • MagooMagoo Registered Users Posts: 2,173 Curl Neophyte
    First of all just wanted to send lots of hugs and support your way.
    Like everyone said, those first few weeks can be so incredibly tough and it has NOTHING to do with you. Every baby is different. I agree with RCW, that quiet content baby that never cries and sleeps all the time is very rare. My son was a very fussy baby and I struggled for several weeks after he was born. He rarely slept and when he was awake all he did was cry and fuss. I think I shed as many tears as he did. Motherhood is a very hard job and the crappy part is that you have to do it all while being sleep deprived.
    Some things that helped were swaddling (I think I swaddled him for like 3 months), holding him almost constantly (he went through several weeks when I literally could not put him down at all), white noise, dark rooms (removing as much stimulation as possible when he went off the deep end). I was always on constant meltdown watch because if I didn't catch him before he went off the deep end, then it would be even harder to calm him down.
    I agree, right now you need to just go into survival mode and do whatever it takes. It took me a while to figure that out. Being the control freak I am, I tried to do it all by myself but eventually broke down and asked for help.

    It does get better. I also found that 6 weeks was a turning point, 3 months even better. He was still a pretty fussy kid (it's just his personality) but by then we had managed to fall into somewhat of a routine and I had learned how to read his needs better.

    Hang in there and just know that we are here for you.
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  • CGNYCCGNYC Registered Users Posts: 4,938 Curl Connoisseur
    As you probably remember because I wouldn't stop talking about it, my daughter did nothing but cry and vomit (and never never slept) for the first five months. I thought I would die, and possibly get divorced. Sometimes you just get a baby that is needy, y'know?

    Mine had reflux and one thing I learned is when you think you have helped them burp up all there is to burp, keep trying. Gas = MISERABLE baby.

    As others have mentioned, learn to swaddle or do like I did and buy a cheat blanket.

    I know you don't have time to read, but the whole Five S's thing is outlined in Happiest Baby on the Block. You can almost certainly find the basics online or find a video (did anyone list them? Shushing, swaddling, and um...other stuff, other people will be able to tell you). They didn't work for my child but I've seen them shut other kids off like a switch.

    ASK FOR HELP. Call a friend, a cousin, your mother (your boyfriend's friend, cousin, sister, mom...), who ever and ASK them to come over for three hours so you can sleep and get a shower. People may forget to offer but few will turn you down if you ask. I found it a lot easier to get through the nights (where she sometimes slept for 40 minute stretches for weeks on end) if I knew I had lined up someone for a nap the next day. Get used to asking for help. Don't be embarassed to try to line up a few people per week so you have at least one reliable block of sleep coming.

    And do not forget, as others have said, your hormones are all crazy right now. You will get better at dealing with it, and she will settle down eventually.

    It can be so hard. Some babies are criers, they're just more needy. Or maybe she's just having a phase and it will all pass. Take care of yourself as best you can and do not hesitate to ask for help. EVERYONE needs help, there is nothing wrong with asking.
  • irociroc Registered Users Posts: 7,890 Curl Neophyte
    Honestly, I can't remember the lack of sleep, the struggle, and the frustration I felt in the early weeks of having my girls.

    I'm not saying I didn't have them. My mom lives 1300 miles away, hubby worked 60+ hours a week, and my in laws were no help whatsoever - so I KNOW I did it myself and had a tough time.

    I'm just saying that it's completely normal. We've all been there. It feels like you're missing out on some Hollywood glamorized mother-baby bonding time b/c you're so sleep deprived and stressed.

    But really, this too shall pass. And someday you'll probably barely remember how frustrated you are right now.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • deezee02deezee02 Registered Users Posts: 1,509
    iroc wrote: »
    Honestly, I can't remember the lack of sleep, the struggle, and the frustration I felt in the early weeks of having my girls.

    I'm not saying I didn't have them. My mom lives 1300 miles away, hubby worked 60+ hours a week, and my in laws were no help whatsoever - so I KNOW I did it myself and had a tough time.

    I'm just saying that it's completely normal. We've all been there. It feels like you're missing out on some Hollywood glamorized mother-baby bonding time b/c you're so sleep deprived and stressed.

    But really, this too shall pass. And someday you'll probably barely remember how frustrated you are right now.

    This is important. I heard a quote after Callie was born that really hit home when I was dealing with a newborn and a three year old...

    "with children, the days are long but the years are short."

    She will not cry forever. I KNOW it is hard right now, but like iroc said, it WILL pass and get better.
    58eCm4.png
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    Come swag with me!
  • CGNYCCGNYC Registered Users Posts: 4,938 Curl Connoisseur
    I can't remember if you said, have you tried a bouncy chair or a swing? I know that a lot of people are all "oh I am not having a house full of baby crap" before they had kids, but personally there was NOTHING I wouldn't have bought for a three minute trip to the bathroom without her screaming, y'know? And you can probably find someone trying to get rid of one.

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