RANT on ignorant people

kacie_luvskacie_luvs Registered Users Posts: 96
so today while i was in class two of my highschool "friends" (one white, one asian) questioned me about my kinky twists..which i have only had for about 2 weeks, the first girl (asian) asked me why i was wearing "weave" in my hair and why was it so obvious
this is how the convo went:

Me:my hair is braided what are u talking about?
Asian girl:u and that fake hair,next time ask ur friends how it looks before u come to school looking like that
Me:what? so far ur the only one with a problem
Asian girl:(laughs histerically,then proceeds to ask my white friend what she thinks of my hair)
White girl:thats ugly black people are nasty they dont wash their hair for a month and a half

WTF...Where did she get that number?? and for ur info i wash my hair twice a week F*T A**..

Me:no i wash my hair every week
White girl:so when u wash ur hair u come out the shower like that
Me: (not knowing what she means by "like that") yeah?????
White girl:eww thats f*cking nasty,f*cking disgusting
END

ALL I COULD DO WAS STARE AT THEM ...
Now i know they cant be THAT ignorant and tons of black girls in my school have kinky twists...are ppl really this DENSE
i could care LESS what those two idiots think and the fat chick wouldnt be happy if i asked her why she was so HUGE..now would she, if i came up to her asking WHY DO U EAT SO MUCH?? DO U ALWAYS LOOK LIKE A FAT COW?? MAYBE IF U PUT THE FORK DOWN U COULD ACTUALLY FIT IN THOSE SKINNY JEANS...she wouldnt be too happy

as for the asian:sad8: idk she just goes along with watever porkchop says

just had to vent highschool is tough enough..i dont need added stupidity
DEALING WITH LIFE DAY BY DAY...:blob3:
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Comments

  • The New BlackThe New Black Registered Users Posts: 16,754 Curl Connoisseur
    ugh. people...
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  • anonymous_4926anonymous_4926 Registered Users Posts: 678
    lol...love the commentary...i'm mad your "friend" thought it was ok to say black people are nasty. were you not black for that moment? wth...ignorance is a hot mess.
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  • beetle87beetle87 Registered Users Posts: 136
    You should have asked why she was so huge. You ask me a ignorant question and you'll get one back.
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  • EkaetteEkaette Registered Users Posts: 356
    Ooh I would have gotten ugly with that one

    ETA I wear braids a lot and when people ask me questions I tell them you can treat them the same exact way you treat your hair. You can wash them, condition, everything you do to your hair. It just lets you protect your hair for a few weeks. I never heard anything ignorant after that (to my face)
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  • Jamtastic Voyage!Jamtastic Voyage! Registered Users Posts: 230
    .. ugh.

    I WISH someone, especially one of my so-called "friends" would say that to my face.

    It'd go down like this:

    ~

    Friend: *one ignorant statement after another*
    Me: ...... uh huh.

    Few hours later..

    Me: No, officer. I don't know how *insert name here* got scalped and thrown down the stairs. Maybe she crossed the line with the wrong person.

    ~

    .. maybe.

    I'm sorry you were subjected to such bullcrap. I commend you for keeping your cool though, and not like.. mutilating them. That shows patience.

    I'm sure your hair is beautiful, and you know good and well that those stupid girls don't know what the fudge they're talking about.

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  • CocoTCocoT Registered Users Posts: 5,330
    That was past ignorance. Dare I call it racist. I am so tired of the whole Q&A among different ethnicities/races. Its bullsh*t. I dont care about white people or asians not "understanding" my hair texture. Its rude and ignorant to ask questions like that and I don't like those types of convos. It almost always is offensive- no matter how you say something or what you say. I don't like other racial groups asking me about my hair like its some type of exhibit. Bottom line: my hair is different than yours and thats all you need to know. It grows out of my scalp like this. Dont touch it like a chia pet. UGH! Sorry, this really takes me back.lol
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  • MixedUpCurlyChickMixedUpCurlyChick Registered Users Posts: 2,568 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry that happened, Kacie. That is disgusting! I have had a lot of wild s*it said to me in my life, but those comments u posted are some of the worst I've ever heard.

    Also, I did go through a phase when I was younger where I washed my hair every day. My (white) friends were saying it was "gross" not to so I tried it. It turns out it takes quite a bit more time to wash and dry extremely curly/kinky hair than it does to wash and dry slightly wavy/straight hair. I guess peer pressure/need to fit in got the best of me...

    I would be fuming now if somebody tried to tell me that.
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  • Sandy CoilsSandy Coils Registered Users Posts: 662
    I am so sorry you had to go through that. I figured that the people making the comments were young. Not only are they youung, but quite stupid.

    You handled yourself very well, I must say. I think I might have handled it a different way. I would have gone to tell someone (teacher, counselor, principal) that racial slurs were made against me and then we couls see what "porkchop" really thinks.

    Oh, and I guess that the Asian girl is the authority on hair.......why? Cuz her folks own a BSS maybe? Whatever! Girl, shake them haters off. It gets better, just hold on.
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  • kandiekj100kandiekj100 Registered Users Posts: 115
    I hate to be the one to go against the grain but the white girl's comments did not come from an all out ignorant place. I know plenty of women who wear braids and weave and only wash their hair between hairstyles. Even when I have worn braids (and on one occasion a weave), I severly cut down on how often I wash my hair. I would use seabreeze to try to clense the scalp in between. My scalp tends to itch really badly, so there is no way I could even go a month and half. I barely get by on a week, so needless to say I don't (didn't) get weaves or extensions very often in my head.

    Now that is not to say that how your "friends" came off was not completely ignorant, it was. Or more to the point, it was tactless. I think if someone is curious about a hairstyle or the habits of one, it is okay to ask. Otherwise they will always be ignorant about it. I'm sure if the Asian girl showed you some respect from the get go, you would have more than happy to answer her questions and the conversation could have gone a lot smoother. Communication is the key, not badgering.
  • NubianCoilsNubianCoils Registered Users Posts: 2,149
    .. ugh.

    I WISH someone, especially one of my so-called "friends" would say that to my face.

    It'd go down like this:

    ~

    Friend: *one ignorant statement after another*
    Me: ...... uh huh.

    Few hours later..

    Me: No, officer. I don't know how *insert name here* got scalped and thrown down the stairs. Maybe she crossed the line with the wrong person.

    ~

    .. maybe.

    I'm sorry you were subjected to such bullcrap. I commend you for keeping your cool though, and not like.. mutilating them. That shows patience.

    I'm sure your hair is beautiful, and you know good and well that those stupid girls don't know what the fudge they're talking about.

    and [email protected] chop.

    This! I could barely get through the OP post, I'm so mad I can't see. The moment that heffah said something about "black people" I would have torn her a** apart.:evil:

    To the OP: I think it's pretty safe to say these girls are most definitely not your friends. They are not even your "friends".
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  • afrikurlafrikurl Registered Users Posts: 736
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.
  • NyAshia87NyAshia87 Registered Users Posts: 28
    afrikurl wrote: »
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.


    +1 (except I'm not a teacher, but I'm studying to become a school counselor)
    behavior like that should not be tolerated, and in order to cut down on it someone has to report it to the proper authorities. Adults might sometimes act as if they know everything, but in this case they will not know until you inform them. You would be doing so for more than just yourself.
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  • Cali ChikCali Chik Registered Users Posts: 1,494
    afrikurl wrote: »
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.
    :lol You're funny. She's in HS... She's a Teen... Who the hell tattles to the counselor in HS? You tryna get her teased the remainder of her HS years?

    Kacie_luvs... next time that b*tch says somethin about your hair, tell her when she fixes her ugly ass face she say somethin about your hair.
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

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  • Jamtastic Voyage!Jamtastic Voyage! Registered Users Posts: 230
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    afrikurl wrote: »
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.
    :lol You're funny. She's in HS... She's a Teen... Who the hell tattles to the counselor in HS? You tryna get her teased the remainder of her HS years?

    Kacie_luvs... next time that b*tch says somethin about your hair, tell her when she fixes her ugly ass face she say somethin about your hair.
    I'm not sure if you're being serious or not.. I really hope you're jokin'.

    'Cause stopping this kind of crap is really hard when people are brought to think that "tattling" will get them ridiculed, so they should either deal with it themselves or just take the beating (verbal, of course)

    It's always better to be the bigger person and not stoop to their pathetic level, even though it's hard not to hit them (or as my grandma would say, "slap their jaw smoov off"). The counselor's job is to try and put an end to conflicts so nobody gets hurt.

    Believe it or not, not everyone resorts to violence or talking crap when they have a problem with someone. Telling a counselor actually helps. Trust me, I know. :/
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  • Cali ChikCali Chik Registered Users Posts: 1,494
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    afrikurl wrote: »
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.
    :lol You're funny. She's in HS... She's a Teen... Who the hell tattles to the counselor in HS? You tryna get her teased the remainder of her HS years?

    Kacie_luvs... next time that b*tch says somethin about your hair, tell her when she fixes her ugly ass face she say somethin about your hair.
    I'm not sure if you're being serious or not.. I really hope you're jokin'.

    'Cause stopping this kind of crap is really hard when people are brought to think that "tattling" will get them ridiculed, so they should either deal with it themselves or just take the beating (verbal, of course)

    It's always better to be the bigger person and not stoop to their pathetic level, even though it's hard not to hit them (or as my grandma would say, "slap their jaw smoov off"). The counselor's job is to try and put an end to conflicts so nobody gets hurt.

    Believe it or not, not everyone resorts to violence or talking crap when they have a problem with someone. Telling a counselor actually helps. Trust me, I know. :/
    I was being semi-serious. I know what the "RIGHT" thing to do is. I don't disagree at all. The best thing to do would be to report it and put an end to bullying. But as "Right" as it is... I really don't think it's realistic for many teens.

    Hey maybe she will tell a counselor and get results and have no problem in HS. Who's to say? But think back to when you were a teen and when you were in HS... was your first thought to tell? Even if someone had suggested it, did you to it?
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

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  • CurlyGirlieRiahCurlyGirlieRiah Registered Users Posts: 33
    afrikurl wrote: »
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.

    This sounds like a good idea. I'm in HS but there isn't any ignorant people like, as far as I know. Please tell someone because that racism and they should be punished.
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  • CurlyGirlieRiahCurlyGirlieRiah Registered Users Posts: 33
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    afrikurl wrote: »
    PLEASE report them to your counselor. I am a teacher and those words are certifiable bullying which should not be tolerated on ANY campus. I know that both of them said hurtful, inappropriate and RUDE comments. If your counselor does nothing or is weak on their punishment , get your parents involved. This behavior is never acceptable. I'm glad you kept your cool and did not resort to berating them, and getting down to their level.
    :lol You're funny. She's in HS... She's a Teen... Who the hell tattles to the counselor in HS? You tryna get her teased the remainder of her HS years?

    Kacie_luvs... next time that b*tch says somethin about your hair, tell her when she fixes her ugly ass face she say somethin about your hair.

    I doubt she'd get teased... If there's enough black ppl at her school those two girls will get cursed out enough. I'm in HS and that's a racist situation... I'd probably snap on them first, get in trouble... and then tell... And anyone has sh*t to say then forget them.
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  • Jamtastic Voyage!Jamtastic Voyage! Registered Users Posts: 230
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    I was being semi-serious. I know what the "RIGHT" thing to do is. I don't disagree at all. The best thing to do would be to report it and put an end to bullying. But as "Right" as it is... I really don't think it's realistic for many teens.

    Hey maybe she will tell a counselor and get results and have no problem in HS. Who's to say? But think back to when you were a teen and when you were in HS... was your first thought to tell? Even if someone had suggested it, did you to it?
    I don't have to think back, I'm in high school. A junior, actually.

    If someone talked that kind of crap to me, of course my immediate thought would be to yank their brain out from their nostrils. But I wouldn't do it.

    In all honesty, yeah. If someone told me to tell the counselor, I'd do it. My school isn't exactly known for its excellent counseling but hell, it's better than unleashing my fists of fury on some trick's face and getting expelled.
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  • Cali ChikCali Chik Registered Users Posts: 1,494
    Cali Chik wrote: »
    I was being semi-serious. I know what the "RIGHT" thing to do is. I don't disagree at all. The best thing to do would be to report it and put an end to bullying. But as "Right" as it is... I really don't think it's realistic for many teens.

    Hey maybe she will tell a counselor and get results and have no problem in HS. Who's to say? But think back to when you were a teen and when you were in HS... was your first thought to tell? Even if someone had suggested it, did you to it?
    I don't have to think back, I'm in high school. A junior, actually.

    If someone talked that kind of crap to me, of course my immediate thought would be to yank their brain out from their nostrils. But I wouldn't do it.

    In all honesty, yeah. If someone told me to tell the counselor, I'd do it. My school isn't exactly known for its excellent counseling but hell, it's better than unleashing my fists of fury on some trick's face and getting expelled.
    I never recommended fighting.
    subbrock wrote: »
    - don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.

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  • EllyEllyOxenFreeEllyEllyOxenFree Registered Users Posts: 6,446 Curl Neophyte
    Oooh, chile...I agree with the peeps who said that giving an ignorant comment back would have been the most reasonable solution. You can't fight b/c you'll get in trouble and honestly it's not worth telling a counselor. We were/are all girls in high school and we know that if we want to be b**ches no counselor is going to tell us anything.

    However, you also could have educated them on black hair care...I had a ton of friends of other races growing up and seriously they are just ignorant and don't understand. Like, one of my friends really thought that all black girls with long hair had weaves because that's what is on TV so much...so she just thought our hair didn't grow. I used to have relaxed hair to the middle of my back and she asked me about getting weaves and she was set straight with a quickness. Or, there were some people who thought that girls with relaxers were blessed with "good" straight hair and other girls just had "nappy" hair...womp.

    So yes, please just educate them now so they don't grow up to be ignorant women. Then, when they meet someone like many of the women on this thread they aren't sent home crying...after a certain age, you don't get a pass with that kind of ignorance.
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  • MixedUpCurlyChickMixedUpCurlyChick Registered Users Posts: 2,568 Curl Neophyte
    I hate to be the one to go against the grain but the white girl's comments did not come from an all out ignorant place. I know plenty of women who wear braids and weave and only wash their hair between hairstyles. Even when I have worn braids (and on one occasion a weave), I severly cut down on how often I wash my hair. I would use seabreeze to try to clense the scalp in between. My scalp tends to itch really badly, so there is no way I could even go a month and half. I barely get by on a week, so needless to say I don't (didn't) get weaves or extensions very often in my head.

    Now that is not to say that how your "friends" came off was not completely ignorant, it was. Or more to the point, it was tactless. I think if someone is curious about a hairstyle or the habits of one, it is okay to ask. Otherwise they will always be ignorant about it. I'm sure if the Asian girl showed you some respect from the get go, you would have more than happy to answer her questions and the conversation could have gone a lot smoother. Communication is the key, not badgering.

    I do understand where you're coming from. It *is* gross if you wear protective styles for too long without taking them out to wash ur hair. But I think the disrespectful part was that they assumed her hair was unclean b/c she doesn't take care of her hair the way they take care of their's. Then to attach an entire group to the comment ("black people are nasty") makes it go from a disrespectful/ignorant comment to a blatantly racist one. Its also pretty Eurocentric (of the white girl) to conclude that you MUST wash your hair a certain amount of times per week/month, otherwise you're a "nasty black person." I'm sure the deeper meaning here is prob beyond her scope, but I think its true.

    I would agree that the OP should tell an adult if she feels comfortable and she goes to a school where these types of incidents are taken seriously. Otherwise, it may just make her feel worse and/or like she's "telling on them" even though she's not. Its a difficult situation. I think the OP handled it well.
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  • curlykinkynfrizzy?curlykinkynfrizzy? Registered Users Posts: 321 Curl Neophyte
    beetle87 wrote: »
    You should have asked why she was so huge. You ask me a ignorant question and you'll get one back.

    yup, I would've!
  • smartblackchicsmartblackchic Registered Users Posts: 2
    I went through a similar situation that I made a thread about on the long hair care forum. There was a white girl, an asian girl, & two black girls, not including me. They were asking a lot of questions about AA hair & the black girls were giving out bad information. Knowing all the things that I do, I wanted to intervene but, I didn't want seem like a weird hair freak. Also, I'm the only junior in the class, & everyone else is a senior so, I didn't want to seem like I was being a know it all. I got a lot of great responses from ladies that responded to my post. Just let stuff like this roll off your back. I know it's hard to but, these people are going to believe & listen to what they want. So, just don't worry about it (: I was transitioning at that time, now I'm natural (: I transitioned for 2 months.
  • helloyellowbirdhelloyellowbird Banned Banned Users Posts: 1,632
    You're better than me. This would have ended ugly if it happened to me...
  • Curlz a HotMessCurlz a HotMess Registered Users Posts: 268
    I am so sorry!! F*** their fat @sses. If that happened to me I would probably curse them out (a slap is guarenteed). I've always thought that kind of hair was really cool--keeping rockin what you got!!
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  • sillycurlzsillycurlz Registered Users Posts: 54
    SMDH Sorry you had to go through that. I really am. I've heard worse coming from my OWN PEOPLE to my face! Way worse!! Life is way too damn short to treat or say ignortant BS to people like that.

    I hope Karma bites them in the @ss so hard,that they won't be able to walk:laughing9:


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  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Registered Users Posts: 5,136 Curl Connoisseur
    You handled the situation really well. I also agree that they were disrespectful and racist. They didn't want to know about hair care; they were looking to belittle you. I also think with it being high school that these two girls are jealous of you for being able to be different and just be yourself. Being a bully is usually a sign of insecurity.
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  • MslizziaMslizzia Registered Users Posts: 600
    Girl.. lemme tell u somethn... it woulda been a fight in there cuz u r SO much better than me.. i woulda made all kinds of racist remarks.. not because im racist but b/c i woulda just came out of me... i commend u
  • *Marah**Marah* Registered Users Posts: 8,032 Curl Neophyte
    I hate to be the one to go against the grain but the white girl's comments did not come from an all out ignorant place. I know plenty of women who wear braids and weave and only wash their hair between hairstyles. Even when I have worn braids (and on one occasion a weave), I severly cut down on how often I wash my hair. I would use seabreeze to try to clense the scalp in between. My scalp tends to itch really badly, so there is no way I could even go a month and half. I barely get by on a week, so needless to say I don't (didn't) get weaves or extensions very often in my head.

    Now that is not to say that how your "friends" came off was not completely ignorant, it was. Or more to the point, it was tactless. I think if someone is curious about a hairstyle or the habits of one, it is okay to ask. Otherwise they will always be ignorant about it. I'm sure if the Asian girl showed you some respect from the get go, you would have more than happy to answer her questions and the conversation could have gone a lot smoother. Communication is the key, not badgering.

    Hate to say it.. but you make a good point. Heck.. even Andre Walker had a portion in his hair book about that..some woman that relaxed her hair didn't wash her hair often and when she finally sat down in his chair her hair was emitting a foul odor, had flakes, and was just gross. I mean he put that in there cause he knows it's an issue..

    And it's not all that uncommon for many black women not to wash their hair often because many wear those style they want to "keep" for a while.. like weave, braids, extensions, etc. I mean heck..so many are even scared to go in rain or pool.. and well yeah.. other cultures think it's gross. And well.. to be honest.. it kinda is.

    My mom was mixed (she identified black though and we reguarded her as such because she insisted on it), and I am mixed as well..and my mom was always harping on black women not washing their hair enough. She said she found it disgusting and she doesn't think many knew that they emitted an odor not because they aren't showering but because they don't wash their hair enough. I have to be honest.. I noticed that as well growing up with black girls in school. But they weren't "dirty" or anything. It was just their hair smelled funny and I knew it was because they didn't wash it often.

    But I think the major issue in this case is these 2 young ladies complete rudeness about something that wasn't EVEN their business. I mean you can think a certain thing and just think it. And it really wasn't any of either of their business what she was doing or not doing with her hair. She didn't ASK them their stinking opinions.

    I have to say though.. the OP is gooooooood. Because I would have said.. I know good and hell well you two aren't talking..and then I would have had to take it to wet dog smell and cat eating..and well that wouldn't have faired very well. But I am ruthless like that.. really I am a good Jew though..really I am. LOL! :boxing: :toothy10:
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