I Think My Friend's Kids Are Malnourished

SpringcurlSpringcurl Registered Users Posts: 8,002
She's my best girlfriend, so I feel kind of bad mentioning this. But I've noticed before that I don't think she feeds them very well. Her son (4) is a picky eater. I know he is on the spectrum, but I think if she had introduced any vegetables at all to him while he was a baby there might be some that he likes.

Anyway, last night I babysat for her and I noticed that the daughter (who's hella skinny) had dark circles under her eyes. Their dinner consisted of:

For the 2 year old girl: A hamburger bun with a slice of American cheese. Chips. Apple juice box.

For the 4 year old boy: A hamburger bun with peanut butter. Chip. Chocolate milk.

She gives them Miralax every day because they're constipated. I've mentioned, just in conversation, that I wonder if they'd like food where she hid the vegetables like in the cookbook by Sienfeld's wife, but she just says that her son would taste it. He probably would, he seems to be a super-taster. But her daughter might eat it.

Also, she has confessed some guilt that she has the TV on from the minute they wake up to the minute that they go to bed. But she's never really expressed any remorse or guilt about the way they eat. So I guess that doesn't really bother her.

Ugh.
TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



«1345

Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    I know lots of people who feed their kids like that. Fake cheese, sugar drinks, chicken nuggets, tater tots, hot dogs, not a veggie to be seen. Seems to be the New-American-Way-of-Feeding-Children. Idiots...
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Springcurl wrote: »
    She's my best girlfriend, so I feel kind of bad mentioning this. But I've noticed before that I don't think she feeds them very well. Her son (4) is a picky eater. I know he is on the spectrum, but I think if she had introduced any vegetables at all to him while he was a baby there might be some that he likes.

    Anyway, last night I babysat for her and I noticed that the daughter (who's hella skinny) had dark circles under her eyes. Their dinner consisted of:

    For the 2 year old girl: A hamburger bun with a slice of American cheese. Chips. Apple juice box.

    For the 4 year old boy: A hamburger bun with peanut butter. Chip. Chocolate milk.

    She gives them Miralax every day because they're constipated. I've mentioned, just in conversation, that I wonder if they'd like food where she hid the vegetables like in the cookbook by Sienfeld's wife, but she just says that her son would taste it. He probably would, he seems to be a super-taster. But her daughter might eat it.

    I disagree with the bolded. You know my guy is on the spectrum and we have tried over the years to get him to eat a vegetable and the kid gags. BUT 2 years ago he started eating red meat, in the form of cheeseburgers (we're introducing steak next). My husband makes the patties with the best quality ground beef and puts in mushrooms, onions and red peppers (thank you Cuisinart!!!) He can't tell the difference. Of course, my 5 year-old the super taster and smeller, saw the veggies bits in the burger right away. We distracted her and she hasn't brought it up again. She started eating burgers about a week ago. We also got them eating cheddar cheese omelettes.

    It's a struggle, for sure. My toddler eats everything under the sun. In fact, she asked for peas for breakfast this morning. But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior, at least for my girls, who are not on the spectrum. Will she develop into a picky eater? I just don't know. I work very hard to keep the older kids from making any comments about what she eats. It's a start.

    I grew up hating all vegetables. As an adult, I love veggies, with the exception of beets. So I have hope for my kids. Of course, I'll keep trying to introduce things and sneaking veggies into their food (supplementing with vitamins) in the meantime.

    As for your friend, I don't think there's much you should say. She knows her kids are limited. I know I get really agitated when my FIL makes his little comments. I just want to tell him to STFU or nicely suggest he come wipe up the throw up, when one of the kids gag.

    On the plus side, your friend's kids are getting some protein in the form of cheese and peanut butter. Chocolate milk is still milk. But I would cut out the chips and juice. That's just garbage.
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Registered Users Posts: 8,002
    medussa wrote: »
    Springcurl wrote: »
    She's my best girlfriend, so I feel kind of bad mentioning this. But I've noticed before that I don't think she feeds them very well. Her son (4) is a picky eater. I know he is on the spectrum, but I think if she had introduced any vegetables at all to him while he was a baby there might be some that he likes.

    Anyway, last night I babysat for her and I noticed that the daughter (who's hella skinny) had dark circles under her eyes. Their dinner consisted of:

    For the 2 year old girl: A hamburger bun with a slice of American cheese. Chips. Apple juice box.

    For the 4 year old boy: A hamburger bun with peanut butter. Chip. Chocolate milk.

    She gives them Miralax every day because they're constipated. I've mentioned, just in conversation, that I wonder if they'd like food where she hid the vegetables like in the cookbook by Sienfeld's wife, but she just says that her son would taste it. He probably would, he seems to be a super-taster. But her daughter might eat it.

    I disagree with the bolded. You know my guy is on the spectrum and we have tried over the years to get him to eat a vegetable and the kid gags. BUT 2 years ago he started eating red meat, in the form of cheeseburgers (we're introducing steak next). My husband makes the patties with the best quality ground beef and puts in mushrooms, onions and red peppers (thank you Cuisinart!!!) He can't tell the difference. Of course, my 5 year-old the super taster and smeller, saw the veggies bits in the burger right away. We distracted her and she hasn't brought it up again. She started eating burgers about a week ago. We also got them eating cheddar cheese omelettes.

    It's a struggle, for sure. My toddler eats everything under the sun. In fact, she asked for peas for breakfast this morning. But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior, at least for my girls, who are not on the spectrum. Will she develop into a picky eater? I just don't know. I work very hard to keep the older kids from making any comments about what she eats. It's a start.

    I grew up hating all vegetables. As an adult, I love veggies, with the exception of beets. So I have hope for my kids. Of course, I'll keep trying to introduce things and sneaking veggies into their food (supplementing with vitamins) in the meantime.

    As for your friend, I don't think there's much you should say. She knows her kids are limited. I know I get really agitated when my FIL makes his little comments. I just want to tell him to STFU or nicely suggest he come wipe up the throw up, when one of the kids gag. On the plus side, the kids are getting some protein in the form of cheese and peanut butter. Chocolate milk is still milk. But I would cut out the chips and juice. That's just garbage.

    I'm sure every kid is different, that's true. The reason I mentioned that he might eat vegetables if he started earlier is because once when about 2 we were out to lunch together and I gave him some of my tofu and he gobbled it up. She thought it was revolting that he might like it. In her case, she doesn't eat many vegetables, either, (or any?) so I think she kind of feeds them the way she eats
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Springcurl wrote: »
    I'm sure every kid is different, that's true. The reason I mentioned that he might eat vegetables if he started earlier is because once when about 2 we were out to lunch together and I gave him some of my tofu and he gobbled it up. She thought it was revolting that he might like it. In her case, she doesn't eat many vegetables, either, (or any?) so I think she kind of feeds them the way she eats

    Granted, spectrum kids have some issues with food textures and such, but it sounds like your friend is modeling poor eating habits and that's not helping. How frustrating to witness.
  • Curls=BeautyCurls=Beauty Registered Users Posts: 1,781
    Springcurl wrote: »
    She's my best girlfriend, so I feel kind of bad mentioning this. But I've noticed before that I don't think she feeds them very well. Her son (4) is a picky eater. I know he is on the spectrum, but I think if she had introduced any vegetables at all to him while he was a baby there might be some that he likes.

    Anyway, last night I babysat for her and I noticed that the daughter (who's hella skinny) had dark circles under her eyes. Their dinner consisted of:

    For the 2 year old girl: A hamburger bun with a slice of American cheese. Chips. Apple juice box.

    For the 4 year old boy: A hamburger bun with peanut butter. Chip. Chocolate milk.

    She gives them Miralax every day because they're constipated. I've mentioned, just in conversation, that I wonder if they'd like food where she hid the vegetables like in the cookbook by Sienfeld's wife, but she just says that her son would taste it. He probably would, he seems to be a super-taster. But her daughter might eat it.

    Also, she has confessed some guilt that she has the TV on from the minute they wake up to the minute that they go to bed. But she's never really expressed any remorse or guilt about the way they eat. So I guess that doesn't really bother her.

    Ugh.



    My mom has that cookbook by Seinfeld's wife. My brother is super picky and can taste things very well. He did not taste the vegetables in the food my mom tried.
    I am picky and taste things very well (but not anywhere near as much as my brother) and couldn't taste the vegetables in it either.
    I find that I am trying a lot more things now that I am older, some I still hate, but some I like. I just do not like some vegetables, whether it is the texture or the taste.
    Cleanser: Liquid Castile Soap diluted in a foaming soap dispenser
    Rinse:
    ACV rinse
    Detangler/Conditioner:
    Oyin Handmade Greg Juice or Juices and Berries
    Stylers: Botticelli Botanicals Styling Mudd, KCCC, Honey Rinses and BRHG, Crack Leave-in Hair Cream when straightening

    Tools: Silk pillowcase, Floursack towels, Jersey T-Shirts, Wide Tooth Comb, Velecta Paramount TGR-VQX Hair Dryer (for when I straighten) and BaByliss PRO Ionic Rollabout Hard Hat Dryer
  • fraufrau Registered Users Posts: 6,130 Curl Neophyte
    i don't think your friend is feeding them properly by any means. is there any way you can make some suggestions to her about cooking simple meals that are more nutritious?

    she can buy a bunch of microwavable meals that are quick and easy (an abomination imo but better than the crap she is currently feeding them).

    maybe you could invite them to your house for lunch or dinner? she may step up her game if she sees you doing it or how much they like being fed real meals.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.
  • CurlyHairedFarmerCurlyHairedFarmer Registered Users Posts: 3,079 Curl Connoisseur
    The cookbook that was mentioned works wonders. I have a girlfriend who uses it to force her picky bf to eat veggies.
    Currently Loving:
    Shampoo: Giovanni 50:50

    Conditioners - CJ Strengthening, CJ Beauticurls Argan and Olive Oil, CJ Rehab, CJ Curl Fix

    Leave-in: CJ Smoothing

    Deep Conditioner: CJ Hibiscus and Banana Deep Fix

    Stylers - Tigi Curls Rock Amplifier, AG:Recoil, KCCC, Mop-C Curling Cream, Paul Mitchell Sculpting foam
  • fraufrau Registered Users Posts: 6,130 Curl Neophyte
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior
    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    excellent! :laughing7:

    a guy i used to date made fun of the way i fed my daughter for breakfast. he used to imitate my voice and say, "would you like some oatmeal? how about some granola? i can cook the granola and put some extra milk on it? do you want that?"

    my daughter would say no to whatever i asked. he told me to cook the food and give it her. sure enough, she ate whatever i gave her. even when she had previously said she didn't want it. i've had to battle myself over the years over this; don't ask her what she wants, just give it to her. works every time.
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Not feeding kids properly because they are picky eaters is an excuse to work less as a parent in my opinion and just plain spoiling kids. I used to hate eating until I was a teenager. As a child I remember my mom taking me out the garage turning the lights off to scare me and make me eat. We had scheduled meals and I'm thankful. I've seen my aunts just not care if my cousins didn't eat and all of them are short, just my theory. I probably would've liked eating if they let me eat junk and other stuff. I can't imagine as a kid telling my parents that I'm not going to eat something just because I don't like it.
  • legendslegends Registered Users Posts: 3,073

    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.
    Exactly. My nephew is a chicken-nuggets-and-fries kid. And pizza. And white rice with ketchup (don't even get me started on that one). Except at school. At school he'll eat everything his teachers put in front of him, from grilled veggies to chicken to fish, he'll eat it all.

    Totally manipulative.
    Eres o te haces?
  • janeylizjaneyliz Registered Users Posts: 777
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.

    Well said!

    What I am very surprised at (everything else has been covered) is that children of that age are being given a form of laxative to help with constipation.

    Over here we take our young children to see a health visitor, and they also visit in schools. If they have concerns they educate parents on balanced diets.

    NB who said that they're getting protein if they're eating american cheese and chocolate milk? Have you any idea what goes into that stuff?
    Marchioness Chinoise in the land of Mancunia Productia Junkia in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

    DT: AOHR
    Wash: Anita Grant babassu bar
    Leave-in: Body Shop cotton seed curl boost with manuka honey mixed in
    Gel: Umberto Giannini Curl Friends scrunching gel
    Odds & ends Lime juice, honey, Anita Grant cafe latte
    I brush with a Tangle Teezer & love Flexi-8's
    www.public.fotki.com/janeyliz
    www.thelilyfoundation.org.uk
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Registered Users Posts: 17,502 Curl Neophyte
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.


    Good point.

    When My siblings and I were little, the rule was eat what we were given or don't eat.

    There were times my sister chose to pout and not eat dinner, and she lived.

    If there was something I didn't care for, I ate it first to get it over with.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Registered Users Posts: 3,061 Curl Neophyte
    Springcurl wrote: »
    She's my best girlfriend, so I feel kind of bad mentioning this. But I've noticed before that I don't think she feeds them very well. Her son (4) is a picky eater. I know he is on the spectrum, but I think if she had introduced any vegetables at all to him while he was a baby there might be some that he likes.

    Anyway, last night I babysat for her and I noticed that the daughter (who's hella skinny) had dark circles under her eyes. Their dinner consisted of:

    For the 2 year old girl: A hamburger bun with a slice of American cheese. Chips. Apple juice box.

    For the 4 year old boy: A hamburger bun with peanut butter. Chip. Chocolate milk.

    She gives them Miralax every day because they're constipated. I've mentioned, just in conversation, that I wonder if they'd like food where she hid the vegetables like in the cookbook by Sienfeld's wife, but she just says that her son would taste it. He probably would, he seems to be a super-taster. But her daughter might eat it.

    Also, she has confessed some guilt that she has the TV on from the minute they wake up to the minute that they go to bed. But she's never really expressed any remorse or guilt about the way they eat. So I guess that doesn't really bother her.

    Ugh.

    Specturm for what? autism?

    My 3-year-old is a VERY picky eater and for him to eat hamburger I would be on cloud 9:) Also I don't see anything wrong with a bun and peanut butter. It's basically a peanut butter sandwich. My son eats peanut butter sandwich EVERY day and sometimes for two meals:) it's not my first choice but there are days I am NOT going to fight him and plus peanut butter is VERY good for him.
    He too is very thin. He is 39 inches tall and 32 pounds. That is VERY tiny. TALL but weight wise he is small.
    He is finally starting to try new foods but it has been VERY hard for us. A struggle to say the least.
    As far as veggies go. I fed him veggies as a baby but he wont eat them now. And i'm quite sure it's pretty normal for a 2 or 3-yar-old to not like veggies.
    I try very hard to make sure he is putting healthy food in his body. He has had chocolate milk ONCE and that was on his 2nd b-day.
  • KurlyKaeKurlyKae Registered Users Posts: 3,413 Curl Neophyte
    It's a parent's job "to provide a child with nutritious food. Not to make them eat it" Just provide it, without lesser alternatives. I got that line (paraphrased) from a bood I read when DD1, now 14, was 3, called Coping with a Picky Eater.
    The book's point was how to deal with the picky eater, not how to fix him or her. My kids, now 14 and 11, still are picky, but my approach is different. Meals are made with good sense. Every one is served the same foods. No pulling out yogurt for Sally and bread for Mary. Whether they choose to eat it, is up to them. What you see is what you get, if you don't like anything at all, the next meal or snack isn't coming any sooner. But, as another poster said, no child will whither away from one missed meal and that rarely happened, anyway. Today, they don't like everything I serve, veggies in particular, but they take and eat a small serving and go back for what they do like. Both are healthy weights for their height.
    3a/2c
    Trader Joe's Tingle conditioner wash/ conditioner
    AG re:coil, LALooks gel, John Frieda Secret Weapon
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    My 3-year-old is a VERY picky eater and for him to eat hamburger I would be on cloud 9:) Also I don't see anything wrong with a bun and peanut butter. It's basically a peanut butter sandwich. My son eats peanut butter sandwich EVERY day and sometimes for two meals:) it's not my first choice but there are days I am NOT going to fight him and plus peanut butter is VERY good for him.
    He too is very thin. He is 39 inches tall and 32 pounds. That is VERY tiny. TALL but weight wise he is small.
    He is finally starting to try new foods but it has been VERY hard for us. A struggle to say the least.
    As far as veggies go. I fed him veggies as a baby but he wont eat them now. And i'm quite sure it's pretty normal for a 2 or 3-yar-old to not like veggies.
    I try very hard to make sure he is putting healthy food in his body. He has had chocolate milk ONCE and that was on his 2nd b-day.

    I agree with ww... so it's basically a cheese sandwich and a PB sandwich. Would you be feeling the same way if it was on Wonder Bread vs a hamburger roll? And are you sure they get chips every night, or maybe the chips were a treat because it was a weekend or because they had a babysitter?

    My 2-year-old is VERY picky as well. I don't feed him junk, like chips for dinner, but he has a very limited selection of healthy foods that he will eat. Fruits and veggies are a struggle... he likes raisins and apples, and will eat baby carrots SOME days if I catch him exactly at the right time (hungry enough, with no other food in sight). He's also very small for his age (I'm small too, so it's genetic) but I'm not going to withhold food in the hopes that he'll eat what I want him to eat. As far as the apple juice and chocolate milk, eh, it could be worse (soda). Was the juice at least 100%? My son doesn't drink anything but water and breastmilk, but if he liked juice or chocolate milk I'd let him have a little every day so he could drink more calories. Heck, I drink juice and chocolate milk every day.


    ETA: I would be more worried about the TV than the food thing.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Registered Users Posts: 3,061 Curl Neophyte
    my son gets chips when he eats his other food. He eats a few pieces of hot dog and he gets some of daddies chips.
    Cayden is like PC's son. He'll eat baby carrots (at least that is what my mom said:profileright:) but it has to be the right time, right place, right planets aligned:)
    I'm a picky eater. but my son is doing well. He'll eat fried fish every once in awhile. I would never touch it to save my life:toothy7:
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Registered Users Posts: 3,778
    My two year old is also a picky eater. She was fed veggies and meat as a baby, but once she turned one, she quit eating them. She eats most foods at daycare, but refuses almost everything at home except chicken tenders, fruit, and yogurt. Frequently, she eats bread and butter for dinner with fruit and cheese.

    Yes, we are being manipulated. Yes, it is frustrating. Our pediatrician said not to start being strict about what she is given until she is three. We avoid candy, chips, or pastries. Snacks are usually fruit and crackers.

    I figure at this age, she has so little say over what she does, this is her way of asserting control. We have started giving her samples of what we're eating with the admonition that she doesn't have to eat it.

    I'm not going to get into a battle of wills over this. She is the tallest kid in her class and is not underweight.

    I don't have a comment about your friend's kids, Springcurl. But I wanted to jump in as another parent who unsuccessfully tries to entice her child to eat. I will probably pick up the book you mentioned KurlyKae.
    Loose botticelli curls and waves
    No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.

    My oldest started out as an average kid. As a toddler, he ate everything we did and then some. As he got older, he got more and more restrictive, while my eating habits remained the same. But I continued to offer and he continued to decline or throw up if I "made" him take a bite. After awhile, I decided that eating was one area where I wasn't getting into a power struggle with my kid.

    He's gotten a million times better as he has matured and now he's excited about trying new things. My daughter, OTOH, is still a pain in the rear. She eats fruits but her main meals are the same 2-3 foods. And if she learned to be picky from her big brother, then it's only a matter of time before the 2 year-old catches it.
  • CocoaCoilyCocoaCoily Registered Users Posts: 2,648 Curl Neophyte
    frau wrote: »
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior
    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    excellent! :laughing7:

    a guy i used to date made fun of the way i fed my daughter for breakfast. he used to imitate my voice and say, "would you like some oatmeal? how about some granola? i can cook the granola and put some extra milk on it? do you want that?"

    my daughter would say no to whatever i asked. he told me to cook the food and give it her. sure enough, she ate whatever i gave her. even when she had previously said she didn't want it. i've had to battle myself over the years over this; don't ask her what she wants, just give it to her. works every time.

    I'm of the same thinking and RCW and Frau. As a child, I tried to be a picky eater, but my mom was not even trying to play. She would say, "You can eat those vegetables, or you can starve." Guess what I did.

    Even now, my husband will sometimes offer my daughter a choice, and she'll say no to everything. I say, "Why are you asking her? Set an egg sandwich in front of her for breakfast, and that's that!"

    Josephine wrote: »
    Not feeding kids properly because they are picky eaters is an excuse to work less as a parent in my opinion and just plain spoiling kids. I used to hate eating until I was a teenager. As a child I remember my mom taking me out the garage turning the lights off to scare me and make me eat. We had scheduled meals and I'm thankful. I've seen my aunts just not care if my cousins didn't eat and all of them are short, just my theory. I probably would've liked eating if they let me eat junk and other stuff. I can't imagine as a kid telling my parents that I'm not going to eat something just because I don't like it.

    My daughter tries this also. But, mama don't play. I tell her I'm not interested that she doesn't like broccoli. She needs to eat it anyway.

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    The justifications starting to emerge in this thread are amusing.

    No one said fussy eaters should be forced to eat anything (or have food withheld), and certainly not to the point of vomitting. Sheesh...
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Registered Users Posts: 8,002
    KurlyKae wrote: »
    It's a parent's job "to provide a child with nutritious food. Not to make them eat it" Just provide it, without lesser alternative

    That is EXCELLENT. Yes, that's exactly what I believe. And the 2 year old LOVES cheese. How about putting some cheese on broccoli and trying it like that.

    Frau, I'm babysitting again in January and they're coming to my house, so I've decided we're all going to make dinner together.
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • SariaSaria Registered Users Posts: 15,963
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.

    Yes, yes, yes! Thank you!
    My mother kept no junk food around and whatever she cooked was what we were eating. You didn't like it, too bad. She was not about to make separate foods. And when we were younger, she just kept trying. I forget the number, but basically it takes a whole lot of tries before a kid will eat something.
    I have a cousin who is now in high school and overweight (my aunt signed her up for Jenny Craig). My aunt constantly indulged her, so all she liked eating was junk, basically. No vegetables, no beans, lots of fatty foods.
    I have another cousin and I had to watch him constantly being given huge iced coffees, sugary drinks, fried fast food crap, and lots of sugar all-around. Always white bread with ketchup piled on (sugar). Can't get him to sit down and eat his meal of plain white rice with something like fried salami or pork chop.
    With both of them, if they had just been told that there was nothing else but the food everyone else eats (though the boy's mom is a terrible eater, who will never drink water, just soda and flavored drinks, and her sister isn't much better), instead of "oh, she/he doesn't like that", they wouldn't have the issues they have now, with her overweight and him malnourished (his mom and aunt are also pretty skinny, and I can remember what a struggle what was an easy walk for me was for them). Nobody allows themselves to starve, there is a natural survival instinct.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Registered Users Posts: 8,002
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    My 3-year-old is a VERY picky eater and for him to eat hamburger I would be on cloud 9:) Also I don't see anything wrong with a bun and peanut butter. It's basically a peanut butter sandwich. My son eats peanut butter sandwich EVERY day and sometimes for two meals:) it's not my first choice but there are days I am NOT going to fight him and plus peanut butter is VERY good for him.
    He too is very thin. He is 39 inches tall and 32 pounds. That is VERY tiny. TALL but weight wise he is small.
    He is finally starting to try new foods but it has been VERY hard for us. A struggle to say the least.
    As far as veggies go. I fed him veggies as a baby but he wont eat them now. And i'm quite sure it's pretty normal for a 2 or 3-yar-old to not like veggies.
    I try very hard to make sure he is putting healthy food in his body. He has had chocolate milk ONCE and that was on his 2nd b-day.

    I agree with ww... so it's basically a cheese sandwich and a PB sandwich. Would you be feeling the same way if it was on Wonder Bread vs a hamburger roll? And are you sure they get chips every night, or maybe the chips were a treat because it was a weekend or because they had a babysitter?

    My 2-year-old is VERY picky as well. I don't feed him junk, like chips for dinner, but he has a very limited selection of healthy foods that he will eat. Fruits and veggies are a struggle... he likes raisins and apples, and will eat baby carrots SOME days if I catch him exactly at the right time (hungry enough, with no other food in sight). He's also very small for his age (I'm small too, so it's genetic) but I'm not going to withhold food in the hopes that he'll eat what I want him to eat. As far as the apple juice and chocolate milk, eh, it could be worse (soda). Was the juice at least 100%? My son doesn't drink anything but water and breastmilk, but if he liked juice or chocolate milk I'd let him have a little every day so he could drink more calories. Heck, I drink juice and chocolate milk every day.


    ETA: I would be more worried about the TV than the food thing.

    No, she feeds them the same meals everyday: I'm not sure what they get for breakfast. Usually Fruit Loops for lunch, and then the cheese sandwich and chips for dinner.
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Saria wrote: »
    medussa wrote: »
    But I'm scared that picky eating is learned behavior


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.

    Yes, yes, yes! Thank you!
    My mother kept no junk food around and whatever she cooked was what we were eating. You didn't like it, too bad. She was not about to make separate foods. And when we were younger, she just kept trying. I forget the number, but basically it takes a whole lot of tries before a kid will eat something.
    I have a cousin who is now in high school and overweight (my aunt signed her up for Jenny Craig). My aunt constantly indulged her, so all she liked eating was junk, basically. No vegetables, no beans, lots of fatty foods.
    I have another cousin and I had to watch him constantly being given huge iced coffees, sugary drinks, fried fast food crap, and lots of sugar all-around. Always white bread with ketchup piled on (sugar). Can't get him to sit down and eat his meal of plain white rice with something like fried salami or pork chop.
    With both of them, if they had just been told that there was nothing else but the food everyone else eats (though the boy's mom is a terrible eater, who will never drink water, just soda and flavored drinks, and her sister isn't much better), instead of "oh, she/he doesn't like that", they wouldn't have the issues they have now, with her overweight and him malnourished (his mom and aunt are also pretty skinny, and I can remember what a struggle what was an easy walk for me was for them). Nobody allows themselves to starve, there is a natural survival instinct.

    I was one of those wierdos that would rather 'starve'. If I had one meal a day, I was fine. Man I wish I had that little appetite now! My mom still wasn't having it. I was forced to eat, there was no choice. Dinner would be sitting at the table for an hour or so until I finished. I remember sometimes putting food on my sister's plate when she wasn't looking, hehe, but she noticed almost all the time and put it back.
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Registered Users Posts: 8,002
    My daughter went through a phase where she ate nothing but green peas for a week. I was worried, but the doctor said to just keep providing her with everything on her plate and she'd get over it. She got over it. My point is that I wasn't going to just start feeding her nothing but green peas because she wanted nothing else.
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    The justifications starting to emerge in this thread are amusing.

    No one said fussy eaters should be forced to eat anything (or have food withheld), and certainly not to the point of vomitting. Sheesh...

    I'm the one who commented about withholding food. My son will not eat many foods, so I'm not going to withhold the foods he will eat. Plus, with him, he still breastfeeds so he'll just make up for it with nursing if he doesn't eat enough solids. I'm okay with him nursing, but I don't want it to be his only source of nutrition.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • CocoaCoilyCocoaCoily Registered Users Posts: 2,648 Curl Neophyte
    Springcurl wrote: »

    No, she feeds them the same meals everyday: I'm not sure what they get for breakfast. Usually Fruit Loops for lunch, and then the cheese sandwich and chips for dinner.


    That's really bad. I can't imagine the breakfast is very healthful, so these kids aren't getting any real nutrition. My guess is that this is a matter of laziness. Poor kids.

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    Josephine wrote: »
    Saria wrote: »


    Of course it's a learned behavior. It's grounded in manipulation and indulgence.

    My theory has always been that kids will eat when they are hungry enough. If you don't have garbage food around, they won't eat garbage. When people are hungry, healthy food looks good. Very, very few kids will allow themselves to starve because they don't like protein and green veggies.

    Yes, yes, yes! Thank you!
    My mother kept no junk food around and whatever she cooked was what we were eating. You didn't like it, too bad. She was not about to make separate foods. And when we were younger, she just kept trying. I forget the number, but basically it takes a whole lot of tries before a kid will eat something.
    I have a cousin who is now in high school and overweight (my aunt signed her up for Jenny Craig). My aunt constantly indulged her, so all she liked eating was junk, basically. No vegetables, no beans, lots of fatty foods.
    I have another cousin and I had to watch him constantly being given huge iced coffees, sugary drinks, fried fast food crap, and lots of sugar all-around. Always white bread with ketchup piled on (sugar). Can't get him to sit down and eat his meal of plain white rice with something like fried salami or pork chop.
    With both of them, if they had just been told that there was nothing else but the food everyone else eats (though the boy's mom is a terrible eater, who will never drink water, just soda and flavored drinks, and her sister isn't much better), instead of "oh, she/he doesn't like that", they wouldn't have the issues they have now, with her overweight and him malnourished (his mom and aunt are also pretty skinny, and I can remember what a struggle what was an easy walk for me was for them). Nobody allows themselves to starve, there is a natural survival instinct.

    I was one of those wierdos that would rather 'starve'. If I had one meal a day, I was fine. Man I wish I had that little appetite now! My mom still wasn't having it. I was forced to eat, there was no choice. Dinner would be sitting at the table for an hour or so until I finished. I remember sometimes putting food on my sister's plate when she wasn't looking, hehe, but she noticed almost all the time and put it back.


    To me, that sounds more like manipulation than starving yourself...not that your manipulation was unjustified. I don't agree with forcefeeding anyone, including children.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    The justifications starting to emerge in this thread are amusing.

    No one said fussy eaters should be forced to eat anything (or have food withheld), and certainly not to the point of vomitting. Sheesh...

    I'm the one who commented about withholding food. My son will not eat many foods, so I'm not going to withhold the foods he will eat. Plus, with him, he still breastfeeds so he'll just make up for it with nursing if he doesn't eat enough solids. I'm okay with him nursing, but I don't want it to be his only source of nutrition.


    I'm not sure what you mean. I only advocate withholding junk, not good food.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file