I feel ugly

Nicky791Nicky791 Posts: 679Registered Users
*I apologize in advance if anyone takes offense to this post*

Today marks my 7th month of transitioning to natural hair.

I'm at a total lost at what to do with my hair, right now it's either ponytails or buns during this transition. To tell you the truth, I hate both. I like the way my hair looks and feels when it's out, down and loose around my face. I've had a perm for about 12years, so that's literally half my life. So i'm used to waking up in the morning and taking 2mins to comb my hair out of a wrap and then going about my day. The fact that I can't do that anymore makes me feel self conscience about my appearance around other people.

I know that there are transitional styles, such as twists/twistouts, braids, flat twists, bantu knots etc. but at this point none of those things look very nice on me.

I just really feel the need to get a relaxer so I can feel pretty again. Cuz frankly, i don't know what I will be doing with my hair if I grow it out completely natural. It's not like I can wake up, comb it out and go in the morning. My mom has been telling me to just get some Sengelese twists or braids so I can get my mind off my hair for a while.

I'm just evaluating my entire reasoning for transitioning in the first place... It's not like my hair was damaged, or I had a bad perm experience I just thought that this would be the healthiest way to grow my hair, chemical free! But I wonder if it's really worth it? I'm about as low maintaintence as you can get for a girl, no makeup, perfume, jewerly, stillettos....none of that. I wake up, take a shower, put on lotion and clothes and go....so I can't see myself sitting down for countless hours at a time twisting, braiding, etc. my hair when all I had to do before was wash, and rollerset it then i'm done.

I'm sorry for the long rant...but I really needed to vent. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to respond to this post.

Thank you!
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791

Comments

  • EkaetteEkaette Posts: 356Registered Users
    OP I have 2 comments. The first is I remember I got so frustrated around the same time you did. My hair looked a mess whatever I did. I ended up throwing in some braids. I highly suggest putting your hair away somehow just to take away some of the frustration. The second comment is that I know you're yearning for the silky straight but unless you start using heat you'll have to get ready mentally for curly hair. Maybe you could get some weave or tree braids so you can get that urge out of the way and come to terms with your curly hair
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    4b natural
  • Nicky791Nicky791 Posts: 679Registered Users
    Thats what i'm considering doing. i think i'm just going to get some twists in my hair and leave it alone for a while. everytime i look in the mirror i get fustrated!
    Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
    Mini Chop: January 16 2010
    BC: April 4 2010
    Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
    Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
  • pulchri2dinouspulchri2dinous Posts: 1,014Registered Users
    Ekaette wrote: »
    OP I have 2 comments. The first is I remember I got so frustrated around the same time you did. My hair looked a mess whatever I did. I ended up throwing in some braids. I highly suggest putting your hair away somehow just to take away some of the frustration. The second comment is that I know you're yearning for the silky straight but unless you start using heat you'll have to get ready mentally for curly hair. Maybe you could get some weave or tree braids so you can get that urge out of the way and come to terms with your curly hair

    I agree with this. Good luck :)
    4, fine, low-medium density, low porosity


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    "When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps." - Confucius
  • EkaetteEkaette Posts: 356Registered Users
    Trust me I definitely understand. And 9 months post hair is so much easier than 7 months post hair. Also for my ponytails/buns I started wet bunning with gel and it made all the difference in the world with laying down/behaving. I have pics in the transition folder in my fotki if you'd like to have a look
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    4b natural
  • bambiibambii Posts: 28Registered Users
    You also need to think about if you are ready to go natural. Makes no sense cutting off your relaxed ends and you see something you "hate". That would defeat being naturally beautiful. Then you will just go and relax again. I agree, put in some sort of braids and start gaining some confidence. If you cant feel pretty unless your hair is straight and out , I don't know how you will deal with natural curly hair and shrinkage ... hmmm
    Transitioning since Sep 17 2009
    BC Due Date: Jam 30 2010
    Oct 24 2009 - made henna and put in freezer for the day of my bc .. yes i know .. i prepare well in advance
  • Nicky791Nicky791 Posts: 679Registered Users
    At the bolded:
    Is it really???? How so, please let me know. lol
    Ekaette wrote: »
    Trust me I definitely understand. And 9 months post hair is so much easier than 7 months post hair. Also for my ponytails/buns I started wet bunning with gel and it made all the difference in the world with laying down/behaving. I have pics in the transition folder in my fotki if you'd like to have a look
    Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
    Mini Chop: January 16 2010
    BC: April 4 2010
    Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
    Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
  • Nicky791Nicky791 Posts: 679Registered Users
    I agree with you, although I'm far from doing a BC. I don't know if i would 'hate' it being natural I think I would feel very uncomfortable and unsure of myself being natural since it kinda goes agaisnt everything i've learned about my hair while it was relaxed. I think the braids or twists are a good idea for me, it gives me time to evaluate what i'm really looking for.
    bambii wrote: »
    You also need to think about if you are ready to go natural. Makes no sense cutting off your relaxed ends and you see something you "hate". That would defeat being naturally beautiful. Then you will just go and relax again. I agree, put in some sort of braids and start gaining some confidence. If you cant feel pretty unless your hair is straight and out , I don't know how you will deal with natural curly hair and shrinkage ... hmmm
    Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
    Mini Chop: January 16 2010
    BC: April 4 2010
    Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
    Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
  • ninadefninadef Posts: 243Registered Users
    I totally agree with EVERYTHING Ekaette said.

    I felt just like you, sick of buns and ponytails and was at whits end at 7 months so I decided to braid up.

    I just took out my braids (after redoing every 3-5 weeks) and my hair definately had a growth spurt (I'm 10 months post).

    I'm going to try to be braid free for a while but I have bought bulk hair just in case I start caressing my emergency box of relaxer in my closet.

    Hang in there!
  • EkaetteEkaette Posts: 356Registered Users
    ninadef wrote: »
    I totally agree with EVERYTHING Ekaette said.

    I felt just like you, sick of buns and ponytails and was at whits end at 7 months so I decided to braid up.

    I just took out my braids (after redoing every 3-5 weeks) and my hair definately had a growth spurt (I'm 10 months post).

    I'm going to try to be braid free for a while but I have bought bulk hair just in case I start caressing my emergency box of relaxer in my closet.

    Hang in there!
    :sign5: why did I just picture you literally doing this
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    4b natural
  • HomeGrownHairGirlHomeGrownHairGirl Posts: 296Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Ekaette wrote: »
    :sign5: why did I just picture you literally doing this

    I know, that is funny! :)

    Congrats to you other posters for making it as far as you have! :headbang:

    I had to throw all my relaxer and relaxing tools away b/c I knew I'd be tempted:evil2:,lol...


    To the original poster, I can somewhat relate b/c I'm close to 7 months post. I had to have extensions put in my hair so that I couldn't bother it for a while. I think you should probably go ahead an get braids or twists for a little while, so you won't stress about your hair so much... "This too shall pass..." :-)

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  • ninadefninadef Posts: 243Registered Users
    Ekaette wrote: »
    :sign5: why did I just picture you literally doing this

    I know, that is funny! :)

    Congrats to you other posters for making it as far as you have! :headbang:

    I had to throw all my relaxer and relaxing tools away b/c I knew I'd be tempted:evil2:,lol...


    I'm trying to ge rid of my beloved/hated box in another forum but know one seems to want it....
    I really want to give it to somebody that kows how to care for their hair but I know NOONE IRL (that includes my 2 semi-baldheaded sisters)....:angry7:

    Woe is me.
  • Nicky791Nicky791 Posts: 679Registered Users
    I will be visiting my local hair braiding salon today to get an idea of pricing for Sengalese twists! Wish me good luck!
    Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
    Mini Chop: January 16 2010
    BC: April 4 2010
    Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
    Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
  • kalanekalane Posts: 424Registered Users
    Nicky791 wrote: »
    I will be visiting my local hair braiding salon today to get an idea of pricing for Sengalese twists! Wish me good luck!

    Good luck, Nicky. I know exactly how you feel. I was really frustrated with my transition around the 6-7 month mark. I decided to get braids and having those 2 mths where I didn't have to think about my hair were a godsend. Now that I'm nearly 11 months into my transition I feel like I have a much better handle on how to style my hair.
    fotki twitter blog

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    In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless – and logic has nothing to do with it.
    -- Gloria Steinem



  • lit26lit26 Posts: 131Registered Users
    My 2 sence
    4b
    last perm 11/8
    Bc'd 4-9-9 :sunny:
    www.fotki/miamelove.com

    A product to make tranistioning EASIER!:cheers:
    Scissors. Think of it like this, your mixing dirty clothes with clean clothes, you can use all the perfum you want (hair product) but the dirty clothes (permed hair) will never be clean, will eventually get old, raggedy, and eventually start shredding/breaking(natural&permed hair). Don't waste your time. Transitioning for most is a :boxing: fight that relaxed hair will win!

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