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are you scared to be home alone?

irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
At night? I hate it. I can't sleep. I love being home alone during the day. I've been doing it most of my life, it's pretty normal to me. And I'm able to get a lot of stuff done.

But night is a different story. My husband isn't around right now, and my mom works nights. She only works 3 or 4 nights a week, but during that time it's just the girls and I all night. I have to leave most of the lights in the house on. Outside ones too. I still barely get any sleep. I'd rather just stay up all night long.

I just feel scared and unsafe. I have every door and window locked. Some of them even barricaded.

Do you feel safe if you're home alone at night? What do you do to feel more comfortable?
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  • texascurlytexascurly Posts: 1,967Registered Users
    Not uncomfortable at all. I've lived alone for most of my adult life. Also with my job I'm alone in hotel rooms in random cities all the time. I'm much more uncomfortable if someone is with me lol!!
  • CurlyminxCurlyminx Posts: 5,581Registered Users
    I only feel uncomfortable on certain days.

    When I let myself start thinking crazy things.

    When I see a story on the news that a robber robbed a local liquor store then picked up a girl at the bus stop and raped her near a local eatery.

    When I turn the lights out outside before the inside lights (I have no idea about this one - it just scares me.)

    But usually I feel fine. I just make sure that everything is closed and locked.

    And I keep a folding knife under my pillow. JIC. ;)
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  • CurlyHairedFarmerCurlyHairedFarmer Posts: 3,073Registered Users
    I live on a bad street and my fiance works 3rd shift. I hate being alone at night. I would be lost without my 2 cats. When I hear an unfamiliar noise I just blame it on them.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Nope. I'm not scared at night at all. I never have been. My husband travels frequently, and I do all the outside night-time chores...taking out the trash, walking the dog, etc...no problem. And, up until recently, I was going outside alone at night to have a smoke before bed. I love the night. Especially if no one else is around.
  • BefrizzledBefrizzled Posts: 3,854Registered Users
    I prefer to have someone around, but I'm not usually scared. I live in an apartment, so I like to think people would hear if anything went on. But I also work at night, so I get home pretty late/early. Sometimes it's too eerily quiet, so I surf the Web in bed till I'm really tired and then put on Hulu or a long YouTube vid to fall asleep to.
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  • KatiecurlKatiecurl Posts: 236Registered Users
    I think your fears might mask a deeper issue.

    Have you ever had a break-in, or has someone tried to break into your home?

    I had someone attempt to break into my house at 3:00am two months ago. He first broke the window on my front door and tried to unlock the door that way. He was unsuccessful, so he attempted to smash a window from my back door as well. I scared him off by yelling, "I'm calling the police!" I called 911, and they did catch the guy. It took me at least three weeks before I could function in what I would call a "normal" capacity. I still jump when I hear an unfamiliar noise in the house, but I'm okay now, as long as the doors and windows are locked (which they always were anyway, and a part of the reason why he wasn't successful getting in...thank goodness.)

    My mom sounds like you. She's highly anxious about this kind of stuff, but she lives in a very rural and safe area. She watches a lot of crime-drama stuff on TV though, and I think she internalizes a lot of what she sees. She's afraid it's going to happen to her.

    It happened to me, it was terrifying, but I was lucky and I survived. I soon found out afterward that this had happened to many others I have known as well, and we all shared our experiences.

    I guess I'm just wondering what are you most afraid of losing. What goes through your head when you are alone at night?
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  • IamDonnaIamDonna Posts: 546Registered Users
    Nope not at all.
    I have had large dogs most of my adult life. Indoor dogs. (Rotties)
    They give me a false sense of security. Alert me if anyone is around the yard or house.

    B4 having the animals I was afraid to take a shower day or night when I was home alone.
    I know anything can happen anytime anywhere but refuse to worry about it anymore.
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I am jealous of you who aren't scared at night. I hate the anxiety.

    Katiecurl, that story is so effing freaky to me. If that happened to me I don't think I could ever be alone again.

    I don't know why. I spent most of my time alone growing up. Sometimes we didn't live in the greatest areas. I've always had a fear of being home alone, and only within the past several years became more comfortable with it during the day. I used to leave little booby traps around that would tell me if someone had been in a certain place. Things that had to be moved in order to open a door, and such.

    For a long time I used to have to check every closet, behind every door, etc, when I would come home.

    Right now, because we're on the first floor, I have pieces of wood in the side of the girls windows so the windows can't be opened at all.

    This is why I need a dog!
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    IamDonna wrote: »
    Nope not at all.
    I have had large dogs most of my adult life. Indoor dogs. (Rotties)
    They give me a false sense of security. Alert me if anyone is around the yard or house.

    B4 having the animals I was afraid to take a shower day or night when I was home alone.
    I know anything can happen anytime anywhere but refuse to worry about it anymore.



    Haha - I swear I wrote my 'dog' sentence the same time you were writing your post!
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  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    I don't mind being alone at all. Actually, I was alone this week. I kind of enjoy it. I can do whatever I want - I don't have to cook - yay!!

    I tend to watch TV, read, talk on the phone, or surf the internet. Just don't over-think it. Just relax and enjoy quiet time.

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  • shorticurlzshorticurlz Posts: 1,056Registered Users
    I'm not scared, in fact love sleeping alone at night. My husband falls asleep in the spoon position and I usually wake up several times a night because he has snorted LOUD and right in my ear. When I'm alone in bed I sleep soundly...I'm thinking of sending him to a sleep clinic.
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  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Posts: 5,844Registered Users
    I used to be but military life took my late husband away A LOT and I had to get used to it. I'll admit that when we lived in VA I had a small handgun in my closet just in case. When my daughter became a full fledged toddler I wasn't comfortable with it in the house where it was accessible but by then he was back and home for a while. When we moved to 29 Palms I never worried. MPs patrolled our building and there wasn't much crime anyway. That's where I really got over my fears. Now I think I'm a little too lax. I have been known to leave the doors unlocked or the garage open overnite. Maybe I can give some of my lax and you can give me some of your anxiety and it'll even out :toothy10:
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  • KatiecurlKatiecurl Posts: 236Registered Users
    Iroc, my mom is like that. Always checking the doors, etc. To be honest, I have now put wood in each window so they can't be opened, even if they are broken. They probably couldn't have been opened anyway (they are double-hung.) I also added two additional chain locks that are unreachable if someone busted the door windows again. My landlord offered to put in an alarm system, but she flaked out (as usual.) Her BMW was probably in the shop again and she needed my rent money for repairs, or she spent a little more money in Hawaii than she thought she was going to. I love the house I'm in right now, but I hate renting and wish I had my own place... I'd put in an alarm system myself. Maybe an alarm would make you feel safer? Have you thought about it?

    Just so you know, I have a dog and it didn't make a lick of difference to the guy who tried to get in. She was barking her little head off and he just didn't seem to care (he was drunk, apparently.) Just understand that myself and many others have gone through this horrible experience, we have survived, and are still living normal lives afterwards... it's scary, but not the end of the world. Think about an alarm system, or think about what it is your so afraid of losing and work on the issues surrounding that... it will bring you much greater peace of mind, and I say that with the utmost love and respect.
    2a/b. I love AOHR!
  • curlysue21curlysue21 Posts: 5,219Registered Users
    I got used to sleeping alone too when my husband was in the service. But to be fair, I did have a large dog although he was in a crate.

    After my husband got out though he was on third shift for awhile, so again, I got used to it. But that's not to say I wasn't anxious or anything.

    Now I wouldn't mind being alone some nights. My husband is a restless sleeper and snores something awful. But I must admit when he's not around I sleep with a light on in the house and/or one outside or with the TV on.
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  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    Nope. Don't mind a bit. At times I rather enjoy it.

    There are those rare times that I freak myself out with a few what ifs. But it doesn't last long. I sometimes have those same thoughts when my husband is home, so...
  • TillyMunchyWavesTillyMunchyWaves Posts: 671Registered Users
    I love being home alone, even at night. I sleep great. I've slept alone plenty of time in the woods, so that sort of thing doesn't bother me.
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  • IamDonnaIamDonna Posts: 546Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    IamDonna wrote: »
    Nope not at all.
    I have had large dogs most of my adult life. Indoor dogs. (Rotties)
    They give me a false sense of security. Alert me if anyone is around the yard or house.

    B4 having the animals I was afraid to take a shower day or night when I was home alone.
    I know anything can happen anytime anywhere but refuse to worry about it anymore.





    Haha - I swear I wrote my 'dog' sentence the same time you were writing your post!

    Believe it or not having my dogs with me make me feel as if I am NOT alone. And I'm not.
    I talk to them and they act as if they know what I'm saying and how I'm feeling. LOL!
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Katiecurl wrote: »
    Iroc, my mom is like that. Always checking the doors, etc. To be honest, I have now put wood in each window so they can't be opened, even if they are broken. They probably couldn't have been opened anyway (they are double-hung.) I also added two additional chain locks that are unreachable if someone busted the door windows again. My landlord offered to put in an alarm system, but she flaked out (as usual.) Her BMW was probably in the shop again and she needed my rent money for repairs, or she spent a little more money in Hawaii than she thought she was going to. I love the house I'm in right now, but I hate renting and wish I had my own place... I'd put in an alarm system myself. Maybe an alarm would make you feel safer? Have you thought about it?

    Just so you know, I have a dog and it didn't make a lick of difference to the guy who tried to get in. She was barking her little head off and he just didn't seem to care (he was drunk, apparently.) Just understand that myself and many others have gone through this horrible experience, we have survived, and are still living normal lives afterwards... it's scary, but not the end of the world. Think about an alarm system, or think about what it is your so afraid of losing and work on the issues surrounding that... it will bring you much greater peace of mind, and I say that with the utmost love and respect.




    I'm in a new area too, so that's making me a bit uncomfortable, as to be expected. I would like to get an alarm system, and will probably look into one in the near future.

    I don't know exactly what I'm afraid of. Just the whole breaking in part. I would probably attribute most stuff in my life to the lack of control and stability I had growing up. Everything around me was so out of control I became obsessed with keeping control of things INSIDE my house. Decorating, keeping it clean, furniture arrangement, stuff like that. It was kind of my control inside of the chaos.

    So my house is kind of this fortress, and someone breaking in is just breaking my only security. That and my children - hence why the boards are in their windows. Hearing stories of people taking kids out of their beds in the middle of the night is terrifying to me.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I love having a dog, and she is good at alerting me to sounds...BUT...

    Having to walk a dog outside at night when I could otherwise be snug inside my locked house, does NOT make me safer.
  • gekko422gekko422 Posts: 4,869Registered Users
    texascurly wrote: »
    Not uncomfortable at all. I've lived alone for most of my adult life. Also with my job I'm alone in hotel rooms in random cities all the time. I'm much more uncomfortable if someone is with me lol!!

    +1
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  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I've gotten better about it over the past 16 months so now I have trouble sleeping when my husband's here. My dog hears every little thing so I feel like she protects me.
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  • SpiralliSpiralli Posts: 3,654Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I don't mind being alone in my house at night, but I don't like sleeping alone. When DH travels, I put the TV on its timer so that I can fall asleep while watching it, sort of like when he's home.
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You know whats funny, I feel more comfortable in apartment buildings. I feel like there are so many apts that there is less of a chance of someone picking mine to break into.

    And because there are people all around me. Plus if I hear a noise, I can assume it's a neighbor. In my house I'm like, what was that?
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  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Having to walk a dog outside at night when I could otherwise be snug inside my locked house, does NOT make me safer.

    Yes- that.

    I'm not afraid to be home alone at all, but I HATE walking outside at night to walk the dog.
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    You know whats funny, I feel more comfortable in apartment buildings. I feel like there are so many apts that there is less of a chance of someone picking mine to break into.

    And because there are people all around me. Plus if I hear a noise, I can assume it's a neighbor. In my house I'm like, what was that?

    thats totally me. we just moved from an apartment to a townhome and ive never been more terrified in my entire life! we live in a good neighborhood, the back gate has a lock and is very loud, even if the back gate is left unlocked we have motion sensor floodlights and on top of all that we have CPI and visible CPI signs on the front yard. im actually just as scared even if im not home alone. im a scaredy cat.
  • fig jamfig jam Posts: 2,555Registered Users
    No, not afraid. Though I do like to sleep with my bedroom door closed. It's not locked and I know it wouldn't keep anyone else out if it were, but I don't like sleeping with that open "gap" there in the dark, if that makes any sense.

    I have two dogs, so I think I would get fair warning if anyone were to try to break in. They are decent sized dogs with deep barks, so even though i don't think they'd do a lot of defending, they sound serious and that's usually enough to discourage intruders.

    Iroc, why don't you just get a burglar alarm?
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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    I'm usually OK until it's time to go to bed. :) I have a hard time sleeping alone.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    No. I've lived alone for a very long time. You get used to it. If you don't have a chance to get used to it, you won't. Like anything else.

    I got a bit freaked out and couldn't sleep when a crime happened to me recently. But I took some reasonable precautions and now I'm back to feeling comfortable again.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    fig jam wrote: »
    No, not afraid. Though I do like to sleep with my bedroom door closed. It's not locked and I know it wouldn't keep anyone else out if it were, but I don't like sleeping with that open "gap" there in the dark, if that makes any sense.

    Yes, I have this too. I don't really understand why. My bedroom closet door has to be closed as well.
  • Curls AgainCurls Again Posts: 314Registered Users
    gekko422 wrote: »
    texascurly wrote: »
    Not uncomfortable at all. I've lived alone for most of my adult life. Also with my job I'm alone in hotel rooms in random cities all the time. I'm much more uncomfortable if someone is with me lol!!

    +1

    +2

    And I agree that apartment buildings can feel much safer for single people living alone. Larger ones have other nice benefits too, such as friendly neighbors, doormen, etc..

    Wildhair,
    So sorry to hear that something bad happened to you :( Hope all is better now..
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