My first curly insult!

tinahtinah Posts: 1,195Registered Users Curl Neophyte
So a little background first... I play on a pool league. Every other week we travel to another place to be the "away" team. Well my "home" place is very nice. It's a pool hall but it's large -has a beautiful marble bar with carved wood stools. Flat screen TVs in the bathrooms and a doorman at the front. It's a nice place. So when we're playing at home I try to dress a little better and do a little more with my hair. It was a bad night for me all the way around. My friend got screwed on custody of his son that day and I took it really hard cause the mom is a really bad mom and he's a great dad but I guess the courts dont care. I wasn't shooting well and was losing my match. It was warm in the place and my hair was making it even warmer. So there's this guy that I see at my home location all the time. He knows some of the people on my team so I know him through them. I don't know him well. But I'm usually friendly to him.

As I'm sitting there being uncomfortably warm I take my hair and pile it on top of my head and hold it there while I fan myself with a piece of paper. He walks up behind me and leans in and says "Y'know - if you would brush that rat's nest out and do something with it you might not be so hot." It took a second for me to realize what he'd said because people typically don't talk to me like that. They know better.

I turned around and said "F you!" I guess he thought he was being cute because he put his arm around my shoulder and tried to make a joke out of it. I told him to get his hands off me or I was going to punch him in the face. And at least I didn't look like a penis with a hat on. (he shaves his head and always wears a ball cap).

In all fairness my hair did look really bad that night but it didn't look THAT bad. Since then every time I've seen him he's tried to apologize to me and I just continue to insult him in various ways.

What is wrong with some people?
CG - 3/27/09
3b - dry - medium texture/medium porosity!
Co wash/rinseout/leave in: currently auditioning products
Styling: lube and BRHG

Comments

  • motleyjmmotleyjm Posts: 168Registered Users
    Wow! What a jerk! People are so stupid sometimes.
    2A (fine hair but a lot of it), High Porosity
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  • eamoneseamones Posts: 53Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hi,

    Pay no mind-most men actually love curly hair-the bigger and sexier the better. This must have been a very ignorant person.

    Its just like when I get my hair blown out and people say"you should get braziliian straightening" - basically they are tekling me my normal hair looks bad. Do i tell them when their hair is limp and greasy that they need some body? No...
  • tinahtinah Posts: 1,195Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh he didn't hurt my feelings - I have much thicker skin than that. I usually just point out to him that there's a reason that he's still single. I tell him that his opinion doesn't matter to me at all. Oh and instead of calling him by his name I just call him d-bag now.

    I think I made my point with him.:toothy4:
    CG - 3/27/09
    3b - dry - medium texture/medium porosity!
    Co wash/rinseout/leave in: currently auditioning products
    Styling: lube and BRHG
  • DraakjeDraakje Posts: 161Registered Users
    Well, at least he tries to apologize.. He was mean, you've had your say, there is no need to drag him throught hell and back.
    2c? 3a? Mostly coarse, but LOVIN' the proteins and fighting overconditioning! My hair is just plain weird :glasses1:

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  • tinahtinah Posts: 1,195Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh no -it's a backhanded apology. I straighten my hair every once in a while because well... I just like to. Last saturday I did it. I ran into him. He went on and on about how much better it looked straight. I said "you realize this isn't what my hair looks like tho...right?" His reply was "but it could look like this every day if you just took the time to make it look nice." So... even tho he apologizes he still goes on about how he doesn't like my hair curly. I don't know this guy from Adam. If he's going to continue to think his opinion is so important to me that he needs to keep telling me about it I will continue to let him know in no uncertain terms that I don't care what he thinks.
    CG - 3/27/09
    3b - dry - medium texture/medium porosity!
    Co wash/rinseout/leave in: currently auditioning products
    Styling: lube and BRHG
  • *Angela**Angela* Posts: 251Registered Users
    Ugh! In our office we refer to it as a lack of a filter in the brain that lets the person know what they're about to say is really rude and inappropriate.

    My boss sometimes says things that cause our jaws to drop...and he's a really nice guy. It's just what he finds to be funny is sometimes quite insulting. I'm quite shocked at some of the things that have come out of his mouth.

    Don't let him get you down...I've seen photos you've posted and your hair looks great :toothy4:.
    3b. Normal porosity. Medium texture. Low elasticity.

    CONDITIONERS: GVP The Detangler, Tresemme Naturals Nourishing, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Hibiscus & Banana Honey Butta, Suave Pomegranate Splash, KC Knot Today

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  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Posts: 3,061Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    WOW! I'm seriously shocked that an almost strange would act that way. Call me crazy but it sorta sounds like he likes you in a sorta childish way!??! especially after the straight haired comments. I mean why does he keep noticing you???? maybe it's the way i read the story but.....
  • tinahtinah Posts: 1,195Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    WOW! I'm seriously shocked that an almost strange would act that way. Call me crazy but it sorta sounds like he likes you in a sorta childish way!??! especially after the straight haired comments. I mean why does he keep noticing you???? maybe it's the way i read the story but.....

    LOL!! I have no idea. that might explain why he's still single if that's the way he treats women that he likes!
    CG - 3/27/09
    3b - dry - medium texture/medium porosity!
    Co wash/rinseout/leave in: currently auditioning products
    Styling: lube and BRHG
  • goobernutgoobernut Posts: 2,317Registered Users
    its why none of the little girls in elementary school didn't like him either -- he kept hitting them to show them how much he cared.... lol.
    Grand Goobah Caedran, Aqueous Infusion of Demulcents, Order of the Curly Crusaders

    Fia 2cFi, fine texture, med porosity CG 5-29-09 * My hair loves protein! Currently using : DermOrganics Shampoo and IHM, G2B Kinkier Mousse, Re:Coil VMM, Anything Spiral Solutions! MO Sealing. Coconut Oil Pre-Poo, once a month Hard Water shampoo. Avoiding Glycerin in finishing products.
  • wavycurly40+wavycurly40+ Posts: 2,017Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My theory: he definitely thinks you're hot..... but he happens to prefer straight hair, and he's too stupid to keep it to himself. His loss! That is the fact you could keep reminding him of.... if you wanted to be cruel......... not that I would advocate that, you understand..... oh no, not me!

    LOL -- penis with a hat -- heee!

    Wurly and proud!
    Modified CG since 2008.
  • TeachDeafiesTeachDeafies Posts: 157Registered Users
    tinah wrote: »
    Oh he didn't hurt my feelings - I have much thicker skin than that. I usually just point out to him that there's a reason that he's still single. I tell him that his opinion doesn't matter to me at all. Oh and instead of calling him by his name I just call him d-bag now.

    I think I made my point with him.:toothy4:
    Draakje wrote: »
    Well, at least he tries to apologize.. He was mean, you've had your say, there is no need to drag him throught hell and back.
    I concur. Someone needs to take the high road, and both of you seem to be passing it at every chance it comes. Next time, instead of passing it by, maybe you should try to take it. Interrupt him after he says "I'm sorry" and accept the apology. You can (nicely) tell him that you prefer your hair curly, and you don't care what others think, but continuing to insult him every time he makes a backhanded apology brings you down to a level that's making the entire thing a silly little pissing match that neither of you will ever win.
    CG: 9/4/09

    3a and 3b/F/ii


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  • wavycurly40+wavycurly40+ Posts: 2,017Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    tinah wrote: »
    Oh he didn't hurt my feelings - I have much thicker skin than that. I usually just point out to him that there's a reason that he's still single. I tell him that his opinion doesn't matter to me at all. Oh and instead of calling him by his name I just call him d-bag now.

    I think I made my point with him.:toothy4:
    Draakje wrote: »
    Well, at least he tries to apologize.. He was mean, you've had your say, there is no need to drag him throught hell and back.
    I concur. Someone needs to take the high road, and both of you seem to be passing it at every chance it comes. Next time, instead of passing it by, maybe you should try to take it. Interrupt him after he says "I'm sorry" and accept the apology. You can (nicely) tell him that you prefer your hair curly, and you don't care what others think, but continuing to insult him every time he makes a backhanded apology brings you down to a level that's making the entire thing a silly little pissing match that neither of you will ever win.

    Well, yeah, ok. Probably true. Unless life really is like the movies, and all this verbal sparring is just leading up to something else. What do you say, Tinah? If he hadn't insulted you, would you be attracted to him? Dish it!

    (sorry, everybody, I'm totally unmotivated at work and can't help enjoying this little drama, vicariously. I'll go away now.....)

    Wurly and proud!
    Modified CG since 2008.
  • tinahtinah Posts: 1,195Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Nope - not attracted at all. He's cute enough I guess but I got a bad feeling about him from the first time I met him. He comes off as...well an a-hole. He's far more cocky than he has a right to be and his condescending way of apologizing just makes me madder. He says it as if I'm some delicate little flower that somehow needs hisapproval of my hairto feel good about myself. And that if he disapproves that it will somehow effect my life. He seems to think every one is entitled to his opinion whether they ask for it or not. He's one of those touchy/feely guys that has to touch you all the time whether he knows you or not. You know the kind I mean?

    But what really burns me is the expression on his face when he says he's sorry if he hurt my feelings. It's this combination of a smurk and this conscending look like if he doesn't apologize I might cry. It infuriates me. His apology is never sincere. If it were I would accept it and be done with it. But it isn't so there'll be no high road for me.


    ETA: there's nothing I like more than a little verbal sparring with someone when it IS like in the movies. But this isn't that. It's not nasty. We still carry on conversations about other things and are pleasant to eachother. But when it comes to his opinion on my hair - we have at it.
    CG - 3/27/09
    3b - dry - medium texture/medium porosity!
    Co wash/rinseout/leave in: currently auditioning products
    Styling: lube and BRHG
  • ~GypsyCurls~~GypsyCurls~ Posts: 351Registered Users
    Eh...what a douche. He was probably only trying to tease you to try to flirt with you, but to say that you should straighten your hair all the time...I mean obviously you're not into him so why would you want to base your appearance around what he wants? I remember my ex liked my hair better straightened...it was one of many signs we weren't meant to be, lol...

    He's just an insensitive, immature jerk. Don't let him bother you.
    2c/3a/3b curls, tailbone length, fairy tale ends
    Cleansers: V05 Co
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    DT/Treats:Aphogee Protein Treat/Hemp/Argan Oil
    Leave-ins/Stylers: All HE Condish, Generic PM The Conditioner






  • Hakim NuraldinHakim Nuraldin Posts: 1,467Registered Users
    tinah wrote: »
    Oh he didn't hurt my feelings - I have much thicker skin than that. I usually just point out to him that there's a reason that he's still single. I tell him that his opinion doesn't matter to me at all. Oh and instead of calling him by his name I just call him d-bag now.

    I think I made my point with him.:toothy4:


    LMAO!! Sounds like something I would do. I enjoy twisting the knife when it needs it.
  • Lil'curlsLil'curls Posts: 275Registered Users
    In all fairness my hair did look really bad that night but it didn't look THAT bad.

    You don't need to try to justify his rude remarks. No matter what anyone's hair, or any other aspect of their appearance is like, a rude comment is a rude comment and regardless of what your hair looked like he didn't need to insult you about it.
    Teenage curly with 3a-3b course curls
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  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Posts: 3,061Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    TRY TO IGNORE THE DOUCHE , that should get the point across.
  • onethousandcurlsonethousandcurls Posts: 1,118Registered Users
    I agree, sounds like he likes you but is completely idiotic in the displaying affection department.

    Don't fall for him, Tinah! He's a bad boy, but in the totally unattractive repulsive way.

    Bald, hm? How ironic would it be if his hair was curly? Or really crappy? (those are NOT the same things).
    3b/c, CG 9/18/08
    Last process: 04/05/08 Big Chop: 08/08/09
    Currently: Herbal Essences Hello Hydration, Herbal Essences Set Me Up gel (summer only), Boots Curl Creme (winter only)
  • tinahtinah Posts: 1,195Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree, sounds like he likes you but is completely idiotic in the displaying affection department.

    Don't fall for him, Tinah! He's a bad boy, but in the totally unattractive repulsive way.

    Bald, hm? How ironic would it be if his hair was curly? Or really crappy? (those are NOT the same things).

    LOL!!! I'm not falling for anyone! I've been married for the last eleven years and my husband and I have been together for 17 years! I have no interest in d-bag at all!!!

    Y'know I was thinking...how would he know that my curly hair was making me hot unless he had curly hair himself. Hmmmm....
    CG - 3/27/09
    3b - dry - medium texture/medium porosity!
    Co wash/rinseout/leave in: currently auditioning products
    Styling: lube and BRHG
  • jillipoojillipoo Posts: 3,795Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    goobernut wrote: »
    its why none of the little girls in elementary school didn't like him either -- he kept hitting them to show them how much he cared.... lol.

    My thoughts exactly! I think this guy is attracted to you, tinah, and the only way he knows how to start a conversation with a girl is to point out a "flaw."

    And yeah, that's pretty much why he's still single!!
    3a and strictly CG since August 2007. Porous and on the fine side. No to magnesium sulfate and glycerin. Yes to protein! Favorites:
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  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    eamones wrote: »
    Hi,

    Pay no mind-most men actually love curly hair-the bigger and sexier the better. This must have been a very ignorant person.

    Its just like when I get my hair blown out and people say"you should get braziliian straightening" - basically they are tekling me my normal hair looks bad. Do i tell them when their hair is limp and greasy that they need some body? No...

    I tend to find the opposite. Men come out of the woodwork when I straighten my hair.

    The guy in the OP probably just blurted out what he really felt, which is the way a lot of people really feel about hair that isn't straight. I'd accept the apology, but I sure as hell wouldn't believe it.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • ~GypsyCurls~~GypsyCurls~ Posts: 351Registered Users
    eamones wrote: »
    Hi,

    Pay no mind-most men actually love curly hair-the bigger and sexier the better. This must have been a very ignorant person.

    Its just like when I get my hair blown out and people say"you should get braziliian straightening" - basically they are tekling me my normal hair looks bad. Do i tell them when their hair is limp and greasy that they need some body? No...

    I tend to find the opposite. Men come out of the woodwork when I straighten my hair.

    The guy in the OP probably just blurted out what he really felt, which is the way a lot of people really feel about hair that isn't straight. I'd accept the apology, but I sure as hell wouldn't believe it.

    I think it's different for every guy, they all have different preferences. i was around a group of my male friends and they all agreed they liked *any* hair on a girl, as long as it looks good. Both curly and straight hair can either be well maintained, or just the opposite. I also know men who prefer curls or waves, so there is definitely nothing wrong with them having a preference one way or the other. No guy should make fun of the way you look, though.
    2c/3a/3b curls, tailbone length, fairy tale ends
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    Conditioners: KMS Everyday, Dove Dry Oil Care

    DT/Treats:Aphogee Protein Treat/Hemp/Argan Oil
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