HELP! Spinoff of deedles thread about showers/registries for 2nd babies

PixieCurlPixieCurl Syracuse, NYRegistered Users Posts: 5,656
So, I posted in deedles' thread that I planned to politely decline if anyone offered to throw me a shower for this baby, and that I only planned to make a small online registry with some cloth diapers, for close family members. Well, I just assumed that if anyone tried to throw a shower, it would be my mom or my sister and it would be easy to say no. I'm not supposed to know this yet, but my husband filled me in that his best friend's wife wants to ask me if she can throw one for me. She and I are decent friends and I think it's really sweet of her to offer. I definitely was planning to throw a shower for her if/when she is pregnant (they just got married and plan to have children in the next couple years) not because I'm her closest friend, but because I'm one of her closest friends that are local.

Anyway, DH says it might be rude to decline and I fear the same. Maybe I could tell her I'd hate for people to buy us gifts since we don't need much, so we could just have brunch or something with no gifts? Would that be polite? Besides, even if I did create a registry, there is NOTHING I need from Babies R Us and I know from experience (with Sol) that most people won't order online for a baby shower gift.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:

Comments

  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Dallas/Ft. Worth MetroplexRegistered Users Posts: 7,135 Curl Novice
    You know, I've been giving this some thought, too because I have a feeling I might face a similar situation in a few months. A thought I had was mayber donating the gifts to charity (of course, letting the guests know ahead of time that's what I wanted). I know we have a charity in our town that makes gift baskets for low-income families with new babies. I really don't think I'll need anything for this baby (except clothes if it's a boy, which I can get on my own). I know people love to buy baby gifts, and this way, they could be helping someone out who really needs it, plus we get to all get together and have fun (and snacks!). I don't know if that's tacky or not, though.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Syracuse, NYRegistered Users Posts: 5,656
    nynaeve77 wrote: »
    You know, I've been giving this some thought, too because I have a feeling I might face a similar situation in a few months. A thought I had was mayber donating the gifts to charity (of course, letting the guests know ahead of time that's what I wanted). I know we have a charity in our town that makes gift baskets for low-income families with new babies. I really don't think I'll need anything for this baby (except clothes if it's a boy, which I can get on my own). I know people love to buy baby gifts, and this way, they could be helping someone out who really needs it, plus we get to all get together and have fun (and snacks!). I don't know if that's tacky or not, though.

    I think it's a great idea! As I was putting Sol down for his nap a few minutes ago, I was thinking that she could put on the invitations "Pixie has requested that in lieu of gifts, please feel free to make a donation to [local children's charity for which my husband is on the board]". Even cuter idea though to donate actual baby products, because I think people do enjoy shopping for baby stuff. I just don't want people to feel obligated to spend anything, and if they want to donate money to the charity they can do so without anyone having to know whether they did or not. If everyone brings baby stuff to donate, then everyone will feel obligated to buy something.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Dallas/Ft. Worth MetroplexRegistered Users Posts: 7,135 Curl Novice
    You could create a registry with lots of really inexpensive items like bottles, bibs, etc., so someone could spend 5 bucks and not feel like they showed up empty-handed. I get what you're saying about not wanting people to feel obligated, though, so the monetary donation idea is a good one, too. :) Personally, I'd rather give items if the charity could use them because shopping is fun for me. I also know some people would rather poke out an eye than shop...LOL
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Registered Users Posts: 2,671 Curl Neophyte
    People love to throw showers so you definitely can't decline. You could do what a girlfriend of mine did recently. We had a book shower for her and everyone brought books for the new baby and her two year old. It was perfect!
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  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Syracuse, NYRegistered Users Posts: 5,656
    DarkAngel wrote: »
    People love to throw showers so you definitely can't decline. You could do what a girlfriend of mine did recently. We had a book shower for her and everyone brought books for the new baby and her two year old. It was perfect!

    That's a cute idea! I've heard of "diaper showers" before, but we use cloth so we don't need much, and what we do need isn't available in any local stores.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Registered Users Posts: 5,844 Curl Neophyte
    I love the book shower idea!
    High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Registered Users Posts: 791
    DarkAngel wrote: »
    People love to throw showers so you definitely can't decline. You could do what a girlfriend of mine did recently. We had a book shower for her and everyone brought books for the new baby and her two year old. It was perfect!

    My book club did this for me (and another member who had a baby). It was wonderful, and I love getting books for my boy.
    Long, blonde, 3a/mostly b hair.

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  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Registered Users Posts: 3,077
    From the guest side, we did a book shower for a co-worker and it was so much fun to pick out books for her baby! I think the guests had just as much fun picking out books as the mom did receiving them. :)
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Syracuse, NYRegistered Users Posts: 5,656
    There's a little more to the story, and it's going to make me sound REALLY PETTY, so please don't be too harsh with me because it shouldn't matter so much to me.

    My sister recently found out she's pregnant too. It's really early, she's only 7 or 8 weeks. She's a huge attention whore though (I am a little bit, but she puts me to shame) and is already talking NONSTOP about being pregnant. And here I am looking huge and not saying a word. Finally after 10 minutes of talking about herself she'll say "Oh and how are you feeling?" It will be her second child too, and as some you may remember from my posts on Non-Hair, she recently had her second wedding, with all the bells and whistles she had at her first (but she and her husband paid for it, not my parents). Shower, bachelorette party, fancy registry, the whole nine yards. Well, a year or so ago my parents were clearing out their basement and garage and encountered a lot of her baby stuff from her first child (she used to live with them) and she was telling them they could get rid of most of it - carseat, pack n play, all big-ticket items. My mom said "Don't you plan to have more kids?" and she said "Oh yeah, but we'll want all NEW stuff then." So I just know she's going to expect a big shower and a fancy Babies R Us registry this time. Part of me thought that declining a shower myself would set an example for her that it's kind of tacky, and if I do agree for my friend to do a small shower I really don't want people to go overboard with gifts - for the same reason. I just feel like if I accept gifts, she'll use it as an excuse to go hog-wild herself. And just for the record, I was already planning on declining a shower before I even knew she was pregnant. So it's certainly not the only reason.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    I think "setting an example" for your sister is a good idea. Sounds like she needs one. If you agree to the book-shower from your friend, you can keep it small with just a few friends...maybe just over a couples-dinner with husbands there too. You don't have to have family there. You don't even have to tell your sister about it.

    Also...keep in mind that you are not obligated to throw a baby shower for your sister. Just say no.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Syracuse, NYRegistered Users Posts: 5,656
    Also...keep in mind that you are not obligated to throw a baby shower for your sister. Just say no.

    I absolutely don't plan to. She has a few good friends who are local and if they decide to throw one, I'll attend just to not be a bi+ch. But I'm not planning/throwing one.

    I was also thinking that, so she doesn't NEED all new stuff, I could always offer her to borrow some of ours. We never use our PnP, we'll need to switch to a convertible carseat eventually so we could offer her our infant bucket, we rarely use our stroller that goes with the bucket, etc. Of course I just know she won't accept, she'll still want all new stuff. I'm curious because she says now that she doesn't want to find out the sex, but if she does and it's a girl (she has a boy now), she'll use that as an excuse to want another shower since she has NO girl stuff (the horror!).
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • MagooMagoo Registered Users Posts: 2,173 Curl Neophyte
    We had a book shower for a co-worker and it was so much fun. I'd never heard of it before and thought it was such a great idea.
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Dallas/Ft. Worth MetroplexRegistered Users Posts: 7,135 Curl Novice
    Book showers are definitely a great idea for a second baby. I love seeing the different books people loved to read to their own kids. :)
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • deezee02deezee02 Registered Users Posts: 1,509
    I did not have a shower, but I registered for little things.

    Mainly blankets, bath stuff (towels and stuff) and some teething toys (b/c I throw those away after each child) and a thermometer b/c ours sucks. I also had some breastmilk bags on there. All of Stevens stuff SCREAMS boy though, so unless I wanted to put her in all blue, overalls or sports stuff I had to get some new stuff.
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