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shelbymustangshelbymustang Posts: 391Registered Users
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    He has your number. If he was really interested, he would have called by now. Sorry.
  • BefrizzledBefrizzled Posts: 3,854Registered Users
    I'd just send him a text, saying something like I hope his shows were going well, and see what happens next. He might be thinking the same thing you are, and someone has to get the ball rolling. Might as well be you, and it'll be in his court after that. And to get out of the texting rut, should it head that way quickly, you could always send one saying to give you a call sometime.

    Or you could do the same thing, via a phone call, and leave a voicemail if he doesn't answer. Then you've let him know you're interested, and he can make the next move.
    Under construction.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    Go ahead and call him, but don't chase him. One call, then the ball is firmly in his court. See what he does with it.

    Call, don't text. If you believe in courtship and don't want to be texting with him, then follow your own rule. Otherwise you're sending a mixed message.
  • TK*TK* Posts: 885Registered Users
    I agree with RCW. If he really wanted to talk to you there would be no games. He'd just call you. I'd call him back only ONCE just to be like, "Duders, where'd you go???" If after two days he doesn't call me back I'd drop his @ss like a hot potato and move on. Don't want/need the head games or the drama.
    I'm "TechKnockout" now.
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    TK* wrote: »
    I agree with RCW. If he really wanted to talk to you there would be no games. He'd just call you. I'd call him back only ONCE just to be like, "Duders, where'd you go???" If after two days he doesn't call me back I'd drop his @ss like a hot potato and move on. Don't want/need the head games or the drama.

    This totally cracked me up! :lol:

    I also agree with the rest of the post.
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  • realisticrealistic Posts: 2,222Registered Users
    wild~hair wrote: »
    Go ahead and call him, but don't chase him. One call, then the ball is firmly in his court. See what he does with it.

    Call, don't text. If you believe in courtship and don't want to be texting with him, then follow your own rule. Otherwise you're sending a mixed message.
    ITA
    Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not;
    and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board.
    -Henry David Thoreau
  • curlprocurlpro Posts: 332Registered Users
    Hi Girls,
    I am not sure how old you all are but I am 46 and this is what I have learned,NEVER CALL A MAN, PERIOD. If he wants to see you or talk to you he will. There is never an exception ever ever ever. You want someone who is willing to walk through fire to ge to the georgousnes that is your beautiful smart funny self and then maybe you will go for a drink. You all may doubt me but if you do I suggest the following reading for you.
    THE RULES
    HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
    If you follow the advice in these books you will never end up with a jerk that forgets your birthday or puts you on his priority list after football and poker. His world will revolve around you, but not if you make excuses and rationalize bad behavior away.
    I can hear you now, "it's different now than it was then" "I am a modern woman, I can call a man, she is crazy" "I'm not into game playing it's dishonest" enjoy the jerk you get while the rest of us rule followers get a guy who does out laundry and makes the bes and buys us flowers for no reason. Because if you raise your expectations a man will rise to meet them, IF HE IS INTO YOU, and if he is not...NEXT.
    I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside where you can't see it till six months from now and then you have a broken heart. Did I mention you shouldn't have sex for three months??? Oh, but I guess that's another discussion for weeding out the guys who have read the aformentioned books (lol) want more of this advice just ask. I have helped many a friend in my life to weed out loosers.
    You rock don't settle for anything less than great!!
    Cynthia
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    If you believe in courtship, then don't call him.

    It's only been four days. If *I* were the one who was going to call someone I was interested in after meeting them, I wouldn't call them within the next 4 days.

    I'd be THINKING about them constantly, and our initial meeting if we hit it off real well, but I wouldn't want to seem too eager, and I'd want to give them a chance to think about me a little. People are more interested in what they can't have, so don't make yourself so accessible.

    Again, 4 days doesn't mean he isn't into you. Give it at least a week.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    curlpro wrote: »
    Hi Girls,
    I am not sure how old you all are but I am 46 and this is what I have learned,NEVER CALL A MAN, PERIOD. If he wants to see you or talk to you he will. There is never an exception ever ever ever. You want someone who is willing to walk through fire to ge to the georgousnes that is your beautiful smart funny self and then maybe you will go for a drink. You all may doubt me but if you do I suggest the following reading for you.
    THE RULES
    HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
    If you follow the advice in these books you will never end up with a jerk that forgets your birthday or puts you on his priority list after football and poker. His world will revolve around you, but not if you make excuses and rationalize bad behavior away.
    I can hear you now, "it's different now than it was then" "I am a modern woman, I can call a man, she is crazy" "I'm not into game playing it's dishonest" enjoy the jerk you get while the rest of us rule followers get a guy who does out laundry and makes the bes and buys us flowers for no reason. Because if you raise your expectations a man will rise to meet them, IF HE IS INTO YOU, and if he is not...NEXT.
    I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside where you can't see it till six months from now and then you have a broken heart. Did I mention you shouldn't have sex for three months??? Oh, but I guess that's another discussion for weeding out the guys who have read the aformentioned books (lol) want more of this advice just ask. I have helped many a friend in my life to weed out loosers.
    You rock don't settle for anything less than great!!
    Cynthia


    As an adult, I would never wait 3 months of dating before having sex with a man. *I* would obviously want to have sex within that 3 month period of time.

    The waiting game is just a to get the guy to stick it out for the long run. That's basically tricking a guy into a relationship. Why would you want to do that?

    It's like Charlotte on SATC trying to find a man her whole life specifically to get married. Talk about setting women back another 50 or 60 years.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Go ahead and call him, but don't chase him. One call, then the ball is firmly in his court. See what he does with it.

    Call, don't text. If you believe in courtship and don't want to be texting with him, then follow your own rule. Otherwise you're sending a mixed message.

    Completely agree with this. Call *once* and see how it goes from there. If he asks you out- awesome. If not, onward and upward!
  • EternitycurlsEternitycurls Posts: 337Registered Users
    How did the conversation end? If he definitely said he would call you then don't call but if not then just put yourself out of your misery and call him but make sure you leave the conversation with a date- if not then don't bother calling him again.
  • wavy wonderwavy wonder Posts: 3,061Registered Users
    I would say if you believe in courtship etc. etc. a guy in a touring band may not be the best date around. Sure he's probably fun but his weekends will be filled with his job. Plus guys in bands are meeting lot's of people on their travels. This guy may be totally different but i would say most guys in a band are like the above.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    shelby...I just wanted to say love the new avatar!
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • burgundy_locksburgundy_locks Posts: 2,420Registered Users
    ahhh! all i really hear from this is SLOW DOWN WOMEN! i mentioned this in another thread, i dont know how to beat around the bush. if i like a guy, im definitely not going to nag the hell out of him. but i will let him know that i am interested, or someone else will show him that they're interested and they're going to go after the other girl because they like him (not that you dont, but he's not a mind reader, and ur not showing him any signs). not all guys are chasers.

    give him a call to just say hi. if he doesnt pick up, just leave a message- short and sweet. text messages dont always come thru, and missed calls dont pop up if hes in a place with no reception. now, its hard to not receive a voicemail. good luck.
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  • shelbymustangshelbymustang Posts: 391Registered Users
    .
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    shelby...I just wanted to say love the new avatar!

    Thanks! It's actually from the night that I met the boy in question. He's a super cutie and different than most other guys I've met. We were hanging before he left and we were talking about mexican food (he loves it!) and told him about this place here and said we'll have to go next time they're in town so he said something along the lines of well can i get your number then? I gave it to him and then he called me so I had his. I guess my thinking is that he called me so I had his instead of just getting mine but maybe that's just me hoping! They'll be a few hours away in december and then they'll be back in january for their first headlining tour and spending a week here. I'm not expecting to date the guy (at least not yet :love5:) hah but he's so fun to talk with that i'd love to keep in touch (especially after our previous guys that are d-bags thread). So we'll see, I'll give him a few days and then maybe reevaluate?
    Sure..I think you have the right attitude about it all, plus ya can't go wrong w/ Messican :D
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    I'm at the point now where I'm like, Look, you want me? Then show me. If I have to ask my GFs (real or virtual) what to do about him, that means he's leaving me hanging, confusing me. Bump that. I'm not chasing dudes anymore.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    shelby...I just wanted to say love the new avatar!

    Thanks! It's actually from the night that I met the boy in question. He's a super cutie and different than most other guys I've met. We were hanging before he left and we were talking about mexican food (he loves it!) and told him about this place here and said we'll have to go next time they're in town so he said something along the lines of well can i get your number then? I gave it to him and then he called me so I had his. I guess my thinking is that he called me so I had his instead of just getting mine but maybe that's just me hoping! They'll be a few hours away in december and then they'll be back in january for their first headlining tour and spending a week here. I'm not expecting to date the guy (at least not yet :love5:) hah but he's so fun to talk with that i'd love to keep in touch (especially after our previous guys that are d-bags thread). So we'll see, I'll give him a few days and then maybe reevaluate?



    Sounds like he has no intention of calling you until next time he's in town. You can be one of his port-girls I guess.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    Sounds like he has no intention of calling you until next time he's in town.

    That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't call him or expect much, just wait until he's in town again and see if he calls you.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • LilyWavesLilyWaves Posts: 224Registered Users
    I agree with the others and also with curlpro's citing of He's Just Not That Into You - every woman should read it. The best piece of advice my mother ever gave me concerning men is to NEVER call them. If they like you, they'll call...simple as that. I'd also be very wary of dating a musician if it ever progresses to that point for obvious reasons.
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  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    Ditto on the dating of musicians. Of course there are exceptions, I even know a couple of them personally who've made great husbands and fathers. But I've dated quite a few, as have my friends, and on the whole, well … :roll:

    As for He's Just Not That Into You, I'm a huge fan. But take it with a grain of salt. If you know you're the obsessive type, then follow it to the letter. [I lean this way, actually. I used to be worse, but I have to watch myself.]

    But if you've got your head on your shoulders and aren't wigging out [which kinda sounds like the OP], then one call isn't going to derail anything. As long as it's just that: one call.
  • curlprocurlpro Posts: 332Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    curlpro wrote: »
    Hi Girls,
    I am not sure how old you all are but I am 46 and this is what I have learned,NEVER CALL A MAN, PERIOD. If he wants to see you or talk to you he will. There is never an exception ever ever ever. You want someone who is willing to walk through fire to ge to the georgousnes that is your beautiful smart funny self and then maybe you will go for a drink. You all may doubt me but if you do I suggest the following reading for you.
    THE RULES
    HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
    If you follow the advice in these books you will never end up with a jerk that forgets your birthday or puts you on his priority list after football and poker. His world will revolve around you, but not if you make excuses and rationalize bad behavior away.
    I can hear you now, "it's different now than it was then" "I am a modern woman, I can call a man, she is crazy" "I'm not into game playing it's dishonest" enjoy the jerk you get while the rest of us rule followers get a guy who does out laundry and makes the bes and buys us flowers for no reason. Because if you raise your expectations a man will rise to meet them, IF HE IS INTO YOU, and if he is not...NEXT.
    I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside where you can't see it till six months from now and then you have a broken heart. Did I mention you shouldn't have sex for three months??? Oh, but I guess that's another discussion for weeding out the guys who have read the aformentioned books (lol) want more of this advice just ask. I have helped many a friend in my life to weed out loosers.
    You rock don't settle for anything less than great!!
    Cynthia


    As an adult, I would never wait 3 months of dating before having sex with a man. *I* would obviously want to have sex within that 3 month period of time.

    The waiting game is just a to get the guy to stick it out for the long run. That's basically tricking a guy into a relationship. Why would you want to do that?

    It's like Charlotte on SATC trying to find a man her whole life specifically to get married. Talk about setting women back another 50 or 60 years.

    I thought the point of dating was to be in a long term comitted relationship eventually, married or not I don't see it matters one way or the other. The reason you don't have sex is to find out if the guy wants the sex or to get to know you. If you just want to sleep with this guy because he is cute etc.. go for it. If you want him to stay around, wait, if he bails, you win both ways a.You didn't sleep with him so you don't have to go through the self loathing and depression followed by why doesn't he like me? whats wrong with me? eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's or, B.You didn't waste your time and your body on some jerk who wanted to just sleep with you.
    If you wait, get to know him and he sticks around, win , win, you get to sleep with him and get to know him. Plus in 40 days you might think he is a jerk, or has sweaty hands or can't kiss or is cheap or has stinky BO. This isn't a game playing episode, it's a plan to get to know someone and make a decision about them before you become too emotionally attached. Once you have sex with him you have this incredible hormone surge that clouds your thinking. And if it doesn't work out you feel bad. I don't wan't to feel bad, sad, stupid, why did I do that, my feelings are hurt now, I want to cry. This is just advice from a woman who has been around the block many times and finally learned and ended up with a guy who worships me and would have waited a year to have sex with me. Because these guy's are all about you, all about what you want, because they make the call, and they keep calling, because they are into you!!
    So before you say to yourself that's silly and old fashioned, I would challenge all of you that read this to try it out the next time and see what happens. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. You can let me know. I know so many women who don't think they are worth the wait, you are worth the wait for any guy who is serious.
    Cynthia
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    curlpro wrote: »
    iroc wrote: »
    curlpro wrote: »
    Hi Girls,
    I am not sure how old you all are but I am 46 and this is what I have learned,NEVER CALL A MAN, PERIOD. If he wants to see you or talk to you he will. There is never an exception ever ever ever. You want someone who is willing to walk through fire to ge to the georgousnes that is your beautiful smart funny self and then maybe you will go for a drink. You all may doubt me but if you do I suggest the following reading for you.
    THE RULES
    HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
    If you follow the advice in these books you will never end up with a jerk that forgets your birthday or puts you on his priority list after football and poker. His world will revolve around you, but not if you make excuses and rationalize bad behavior away.
    I can hear you now, "it's different now than it was then" "I am a modern woman, I can call a man, she is crazy" "I'm not into game playing it's dishonest" enjoy the jerk you get while the rest of us rule followers get a guy who does out laundry and makes the bes and buys us flowers for no reason. Because if you raise your expectations a man will rise to meet them, IF HE IS INTO YOU, and if he is not...NEXT.
    I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside where you can't see it till six months from now and then you have a broken heart. Did I mention you shouldn't have sex for three months??? Oh, but I guess that's another discussion for weeding out the guys who have read the aformentioned books (lol) want more of this advice just ask. I have helped many a friend in my life to weed out loosers.
    You rock don't settle for anything less than great!!
    Cynthia


    As an adult, I would never wait 3 months of dating before having sex with a man. *I* would obviously want to have sex within that 3 month period of time.

    The waiting game is just a to get the guy to stick it out for the long run. That's basically tricking a guy into a relationship. Why would you want to do that?

    It's like Charlotte on SATC trying to find a man her whole life specifically to get married. Talk about setting women back another 50 or 60 years.

    I thought the point of dating was to be in a long term comitted relationship eventually, married or not I don't see it matters one way or the other. The reason you don't have sex is to find out if the guy wants the sex or to get to know you. If you just want to sleep with this guy because he is cute etc.. go for it. If you want him to stay around, wait, if he bails, you win both ways a.You didn't sleep with him so you don't have to go through the self loathing and depression followed by why doesn't he like me? whats wrong with me? eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's or, B.You didn't waste your time and your body on some jerk who wanted to just sleep with you.
    If you wait, get to know him and he sticks around, win , win, you get to sleep with him and get to know him. Plus in 40 days you might think he is a jerk, or has sweaty hands or can't kiss or is cheap or has stinky BO. This isn't a game playing episode, it's a plan to get to know someone and make a decision about them before you become too emotionally attached. Once you have sex with him you have this incredible hormone surge that clouds your thinking. And if it doesn't work out you feel bad. I don't wan't to feel bad, sad, stupid, why did I do that, my feelings are hurt now, I want to cry. This is just advice from a woman who has been around the block many times and finally learned and ended up with a guy who worships me and would have waited a year to have sex with me. Because these guy's are all about you, all about what you want, because they make the call, and they keep calling, because they are into you!!
    So before you say to yourself that's silly and old fashioned, I would challenge all of you that read this to try it out the next time and see what happens. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. You can let me know. I know so many women who don't think they are worth the wait, you are worth the wait for any guy who is serious.
    Cynthia

    I more or less agree w/ you. I wouldn't put a firm 3 month rule on the sex thing but I do agree there should be a waiting period.

    curlpro wrote: »
    I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside

    He may not be a jerk, per se. But I agree, if he doesn't call, he is not ready, willing or able to step into the role of bf, for whatever reason.

    I would add that since the OP seems like she is the one who actually suggested getting together for Mexican food in the first place, that is even more of a reason not to call. She has given him a huge green light. Anything more, and it would seem like she was pressuring him IMO.