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Would you do this for $8/hr? [rant] - Long

OperaCurlsOperaCurls Posts: 1,101Registered Users
Okay, so my sister, got married this summer and moved to where her husband's job for his older brother is, about 2 hours away. She is 6 months pregnant and wanted to have her own income of some sort before the baby comes, so the oldest brother's wife, K, offered to pay her to clean the house & watch K's kids during the week while K works. This arrangement was made about a month ago, when the kids were on summer vacation. My sister is being payed $8 per hour.

Sounds pretty good, right? Well, things have changed over time and now my poor sister is feeling completely overwhelmed and taken advantage of. Here is what's now going on:

* The family no longer cleans up after themselves in the evening after my sister leaves; as in, dishes and laundry not getting done, sitting in piles waiting for her the next day. This happens over the weekend too and it's just a mess.
* Turns out K's 4 kids are home schooled, so my sister has to do that in addition to her other chores.
* K wants the kids to be responsible for cleaning their own messes, but when my sister holds them accountable for that, they complain to K that night that they had to do ALL of the chores, and K believes them because she thinks that she has raised honest, hardworking kids.
* These kids are messy! My sister cleans up their messes as they go, but it's impossible for things to be spotlessly clean when K gets home, & K thinks that my sister isn't doing her job. (which is ridiculous - I've seen the way these people live and my sister's standard of cleanliness is MUCH higher than theirs!)

My sister had the flu last week and asked K if she could hire one of her other babysitters for just one day so my sister could recuperate. Instead of being understanding, K told my sister that if she was unable to do the work, then she would reduce her rate to $6 per hour to take care of the kids & home school them, and not do the house work. Come on??! Seriously? She's 6 months pregnant! And she would STILL have to clean the kitchen and the living room all day just so she could feed the kids and make sure the littlest one wasn't going to pick something up off the floor and eat it.

Is this woman being totally unreasonable, or am I biased in favor of my sister? I think she's being underpaid and taken advantage of, and she's too timid to speak up to K and tell her that something needs to change. If it were me, I'd quit. Especially after being accused of being a liar because the kids were whining about clearing the table after lunch. Ugh.
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Comments

  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    ita agree w/ you...
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  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users
    I think it's horrid!

    New husband should step in.
  • PoodleheadPoodlehead Posts: 6,959Registered Users
    Completely and utterly unreasonable. Clean house for $8? Sure. Babysit for $8? Sure. One or the other, not both. And not all the other crap.
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Sounds like she has a nanny type job (they clean too right?). I'm pretty sure they get paid way more than double of what she's getting
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    I didn't even have to read the extra circumstances that erupted out of this.

    I don't think $8 an hour is fair for someone to be watching your kids, and cleaning your house for the week.

    Working for family, in any aspect, does not work. TRUST ME.

    Doing favors for someone because you want to help them doesn't often work out either. Inevitably, someone feels put out, someone gets used, etc, etc, in the end there is a bad relationship because people really wanted to help eachother out.

    Work is work. Family is family. Friends are friends. Never the 'twain shall meet.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    iroc wrote: »
    I didn't even have to read the extra circumstances that erupted out of this.

    I don't think $8 an hour is fair for someone to be watching your kids, and cleaning your house for the week.

    Working for family, in any aspect, does not work. TRUST ME.

    Doing favors for someone because you want to help them doesn't often work out either. Inevitably, someone feels put out, someone gets used, etc, etc, in the end there is a bad relationship because people really wanted to help eachother out.

    Work is work. Family is family. Friends are friends. Never the 'twain shall meet.
    Words to live by...
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  • IamDonnaIamDonna Posts: 546Registered Users
    She needs to quit!!!!

    I had a similar thing happen to me when I was younger. Working for relatives is the pitts.
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  • kat180kat180 Posts: 6,280Registered Users
    She is not getting paid nearly enough- from what Im reading your sister now has 3 jobs:

    -cleaning the house
    -babysitting the kids
    -homeschooling the kids

    Her pay should be tripled at least- and she needs to give ground rules. They are treating her like a slave. She should stand up for herself- she what she will and wont do, and she is entitled to days off and sick leave-particularly as she's pregnant.
  • OperaCurlsOperaCurls Posts: 1,101Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    I didn't even have to read the extra circumstances that erupted out of this.

    I don't think $8 an hour is fair for someone to be watching your kids, and cleaning your house for the week.

    Working for family, in any aspect, does not work. TRUST ME.

    Doing favors for someone because you want to help them doesn't often work out either. Inevitably, someone feels put out, someone gets used, etc, etc, in the end there is a bad relationship because people really wanted to help eachother out.

    Work is work. Family is family. Friends are friends. Never the 'twain shall meet.

    ITA with everything you said, but I really love the bolded statement! Sis's husband is the youngest of 7 boys and they ALL work for the family business, as do most of the wives. I really liked K when I met her, and she has an incredible work ethic, but she has unrealistic expectations of other people when it comes to finishing tasks. This woman is a work horse!
    ninja dog wrote: »
    I think it's horrid!

    New husband should step in.

    Yeah...
    kat180 wrote: »
    She is not getting paid nearly enough- from what Im reading your sister now has 3 jobs:

    -cleaning the house
    -babysitting the kids
    -homeschooling the kids

    Her pay should be tripled at least- and she needs to give ground rules. They are treating her like a slave. She should stand up for herself- she what she will and wont do, and she is entitled to days off and sick leave-particularly as she's pregnant.

    Exactly. K seems to think that because my sister is now "family," she can make up whatever rules she wants.
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    Is this woman being totally unreasonable, or am I biased in favor of my sister?
    Probably a bit of both. But your sister has to be the one to say so, timid or not. Or maybe her husband can speak for her.

    Edit:
    Turns out K's 4 kids are home schooled, so my sister has to do that in addition to her other chores.
    Wait...After reading other replies, I'm unclear...You mean YOUR SIS has to home school the kids? OK, that's ridiculous. Doesn't that require some type of preparation on her part? Reading the lessons beforehand, checking "homework," etc? Wow...not me. She's got to say something.
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  • TredavaTredava Posts: 30Registered Users
    They are really taking advantage of her. I would not want that much responsibility even if I were paid enough money. She still has to take care of her own household. Were will she get the energy from? They should only work her a few days a week, and pay her 4 times the amount that she is currently making.
  • SpiralliSpiralli Posts: 3,654Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Your sister should quit. The $8 an hour to work in that H3LL is not worth her own physical and mental health. I hope your sis puts herself first and tells K to stuff the cheap wage. The workload is abusive vs. the wage.
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  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users
    HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!! She should be paid like $25-$30 for all that responsibility!!!!! Talk about being taken advantaged of that's just horrible! She needs to leave ASAP and not feel bad about it. She just needs to say that she is preggers and needs to take it easy and that she is utterly exhausted...The nerve of these people shame on them! :angry7:
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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    So they hired her to clean their house, and once she agreed they said, "Oh by the way, you have to homeschool our children while you're at it"?

    Yeah, NO. That's insane. She needs to set some ground rules at the very least, but I'd recommend quitting, sooner or later. Once her baby is born she's not going to be able to devote that much time to her in-laws' family anyway. They might as well get used to it now.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    No, no, no way!!! She's supposed to be a nanny for 4 kids, homeschool them, clean the house (which the family have stopped doing routine chores in) for $8 a hour??!!! Ridiculous. I pay more than that for my two kids to be watched at an in-home daycare, where I take the kids to her and she doesn't have to travel, there's no housework or homeschooling duties, and I live in a cheap part of the country, and I have a good deal with our daycare provider.

    How has this family been homeschooling their kids if the mom works? What are they planning to do when your sister has the baby and is on maternity leave? The whole situation sounds effed up to me.
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  • KurlyKaeKurlyKae Posts: 3,413Registered Users
    These people are taking advantage of your sister.
    1)Even if you hire a cleaning service, you are expected to pick up your mess, so the service can get to the cleaning. Otherwise there is a charge for that as well.
    2) Teaching children to pick up after themselves is teaching life skills, the parents should be appreciative of your sister's efforts and encourage them.
    3) Homeschooling is the parent's responsibility. If they don't want to do it, then they should be paying for a tutor, or private school. A nanny would drive them to school or lessons.
    4) I can't for the life of me understand how or why they would want some one with the flu to be responsible for four young children.
    5) $8 per hour is no where near the going rate for any of these jobs. If these people have such a good work ethic, they also should appreciate that an employee deserves to be paid a fair wage.

    I'm sure there is more...but I don't care if they are family...she should cut this off now before the baby arrives and they expect this nonsense to continue as she cares for her own child.
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  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Posts: 5,844Registered Users
    I pay my 18yo babysitter $7 an hour if my 2 kids are up and $5 if they are in bed. He isn't required to cook or clean (although he cleans any messes they made together on his own). She is doing ENTIRELY to much for so little.

    How many hours a day is she working? Will she work until the baby comes? She might not even be able to handle all that at the end of her pregnancy.
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  • OperaCurlsOperaCurls Posts: 1,101Registered Users
    I pay my 18yo babysitter $7 an hour if my 2 kids are up and $5 if they are in bed. He isn't required to cook or clean (although he cleans any messes they made together on his own). She is doing ENTIRELY to much for so little.

    How many hours a day is she working? Will she work until the baby comes? She might not even be able to handle all that at the end of her pregnancy.

    Around 10 - 13 hours a day, Monday thru Friday.

    ETA: I don't know if she's expected to keep working towards the end of the pregnancy and after the baby is born. I sure hope not. She's been very sick on-and-off since she got pregnant.
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  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    No way. $8 an hour isn't even minimum wage! I'd quit and let K find out what the going rate for all that work really is. Housecleaners alone cost $20-$25 an hour.
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  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    She should quit - TODAY! Seriously she could work at the Gap for more than $8/hour. What about working for a temp agency until the baby comes, that definitely would pay more.

    Cleaning and taking care of the kids is one thing, although $8 is still way too low for 4 kids, but expecting your sister to be their teacher on top of it - insane. Who was teaching them before your sister took over?
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • pandoraspoxxpandoraspoxx Posts: 248Registered Users
    She should quit..now...

    This woman is taking advantage of your sister..
  • OperaCurlsOperaCurls Posts: 1,101Registered Users
    Jenny C wrote: »
    She should quit - TODAY! Seriously she could work at the Gap for more than $8/hour. What about working for a temp agency until the baby comes, that definitely would pay more.

    Cleaning and taking care of the kids is one thing, although $8 is still way too low for 4 kids, but expecting your sister to be their teacher on top of it - insane. Who was teaching them before your sister took over?

    K was taking care of her own kids and doing her husband's business paperwork from home before my sister came along. My sister & I both made way more money than $8 when we had our "sister act" babysitting business in high school... I'm really hoping and praying that she will a) get her husband on the same page as her, and b) set up a time for the both of them to go talk to K and either start being payed a lot more, or quit. I think she's probably worried about bad feelings between her and her new family members.
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  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Posts: 5,844Registered Users
    10 to 13 hours a day! No way!

    When I was preggo with my 1st I worked full time at an easy retail job and I was exhausted. I don't even see how she's doing all that. I made $8.50 an hour at that easy job...10 years ago! She is getting completely taken advantage of. I'm sorry for her. I can imagine how hard it could be for her to even bring it up with her SIL. Ugh...
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  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    OperaCurls wrote: »
    Jenny C wrote: »
    She should quit - TODAY! Seriously she could work at the Gap for more than $8/hour. What about working for a temp agency until the baby comes, that definitely would pay more.

    Cleaning and taking care of the kids is one thing, although $8 is still way too low for 4 kids, but expecting your sister to be their teacher on top of it - insane. Who was teaching them before your sister took over?

    K was taking care of her own kids and doing her husband's business paperwork from home before my sister came along. My sister & I both made way more money than $8 when we had our "sister act" babysitting business in high school... I'm really hoping and praying that she will a) get her husband on the same page as her, and b) set up a time for the both of them to go talk to K and either start being payed a lot more, or quit. I think she's probably worried about bad feelings between her and her new family members.

    Well K doesn't seem to be concerned about bad feelings by taking advantage of your sister. She's the one in the wrong here, but I can understand how your sister feels.

    She doesn't have to quit with a big F-you to K. She can say something like, 'I'm not a certified teacher and I really don't feel qualified to teach your children. It's just too much for me right now, so I'm going to have to resign'.

    At this point money isn't even the issue because K is a bloodsucker and not someone she should work for, even if they quadrupled her salary. One person really can't be a teacher, nanny and a maid.
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  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    She needs to quit. Now. That's Dickensian drudgery. This brother's wife is a disgusting piece of work. If your sister can't stand up to her, the job's not worth $20/hour.
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  • KaywhykayKaywhykay Posts: 191Registered Users
    Not. Worth it.

    It's plain ridiculous what they expect her to do!

    It'd want near $25/hour for all of that!
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  • desert flowerdesert flower Posts: 188Registered Users
    When I was reading this, I kept thinking, "How is this happening?? How?"

    This is beyond abusive behavior. That was clear with the parts about accusing her of lying and of the threat to lower her wage...that is clear psychological abuse and intimidation. I may sound extreme but seriously, how else would you classify it? Oh yeah, being a complete witch.

    It's easy to say that she should just speak up but coming from a large Arab family where my parents are both the youngest on their side, I totally understand that it isn't always that easy to speak up to your older siblings...even if my parents are now in their sixties...but that's another story...

    It will be very hard for your brother-in-law to say anything, even if he completely agrees with your sister. So maybe taking the approach of saying she just isn't feeling well or pretending the doctor told her not to work would be her only way out here.

    I know it sounds shady or passive aggressive but the important thing here is to get your sister out of that situation ASAP!! If directness doesn't work, then lie! I am actually concerned about your sister's health and that of the baby. She is being worked too hard!!

    And Opera, how are you doing? I have two sisters and I know how hard it is to watch your sister suffer...it's worse than having something happen to you and it can make you feel so helpless. Just stick by her side and patiently (very hard for me to do) support her as she gets out of this situation.

    Good luck!!
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    Jenny C wrote: »
    . One person really can't be a teacher, nanny and a maid.


    Sure they can. They're called "MOM"

    :toothy9:
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  • Nappy_curly_crownNappy_curly_crown Posts: 4,162Registered Users
    WTF....$8 an hour isn't even minimum wage!?!?!? Then to top it all off, she can't even take a day off if she is sick. Dayum.....even illegals get paid more than that!!!

    You sister needs to stop this madness and quit. TODAY!
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  • MarMar Posts: 3,003Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    Jenny C wrote: »
    . One person really can't be a teacher, nanny and a maid.


    Sure they can. They're called "MOM"

    :toothy9:
    :)
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