Curly Hair in a Straight Hair Loving Society

hipchickhipchick Posts: 350Registered Users
My brother insulted my curly hair again yesterday. I have taught my mother to not comment on it but I know she doesn't like it curly. I have gotten negative feedback on my hair at work when I wear curly. On rare occassions I meet someone who likes curly hair. I like having curly hair in many ways but the stigma attached to it makes it almost not worth wearing it that way. It seems when I wear it curly I am a non-conformist in a conformist society.It is a lot of work to keep defending my hair and to keep positive about it with all the negativity around me. I really think most people do not understand our hair type. Some think we don't take the time to style it and it looks messy as they are accustumed to what is portrayed by the media (and others imitate) which is straight hair or wavy hair or curls created by curling irons. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just get thermal reconditioning. Does anyone else feel this way?

Comments

  • janieboojanieboo Posts: 141Registered Users
    Nope. As my sister says:

    2vbl8iw.gif

    There will always be someone that finds fault with you. Screw 'em. not worth the energy.
  • curlprocurlpro Posts: 334Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    janieboo wrote: »
    Nope. As my sister says:

    2vbl8iw.gif

    There will always be someone that finds fault with you. Screw 'em. not worth the energy.
    Amen! Just be your self, people are just projecting their own self loathing all over you, just let is roll off, like water off a duck. Curly hair is the best. Deep down they want it, you know they do...
    Cynthia
  • nutterbutterflynutterbutterfly Posts: 137Registered Users
    So, this all is making me think of a music video I used to be completely obsessed with...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soy-OMRV0xs

    It's absolutely perfect... "Image is overrated, if it washes off in the rain", what a theme song :hello1:
    I am a 3a/b with normal-coarse hair that is medium-thick and fairly porous.

    Currently using:
    ~VitaminShampoo (CG :mrgreen: )
    ~L'oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss for medium to long hair that's curly/wavy
    ......wow that is a mouthful.
    ~Garnier Fructis curl-shaping spray gel
    *or*
    ~Pantene curl defining mousse
  • CopaseticCopasetic Posts: 222Registered Users
    hipchick wrote: »
    My brother insulted my curly hair again yesterday. I have taught my mother to not comment on it but I know she doesn't like it curly. I have gotten negative feedback on my hair at work when I wear curly. On rare occassions I meet someone who likes curly hair. I like having curly hair in many ways but the stigma attached to it makes it almost not worth wearing it that way. It seems when I wear it curly I am a non-conformist in a conformist society.It is a lot of work to keep defending my hair and to keep positive about it with all the negativity around me. I really think most people do not understand our hair type. Some think we don't take the time to style it and it looks messy as they are accustumed to what is portrayed by the media (and others imitate) which is straight hair or wavy hair or curls created by curling irons. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just get thermal reconditioning. Does anyone else feel this way?

    I hear you. Its annoying having people comment on your hair constantly. I used to straighten my hair all the time, and I remember a family friend commenting that he was glad that my hair "finally got over that curly phase" to which his mother replied "Now, now Jeff, your hair curls too!" as if it was the worst fate that could fall upon one's hair. I hear these kind of comments all the time and I never quite get used to them.
    co-wash: exact vanilla
    rinse out: tresseme naturals
    leave-in: giovanni direct leave-in
    stylers: kccc + he totally twisted mousse + coconut oil to sotc
  • anonymous_29030anonymous_29030 Posts: 619Registered Users
    I like my hair but am a low maintenance person so kept it short for most of my life and usually straightened or gelled.

    Now that I am re-embracing my curls I get a lot more angst than before. Especially in England where women are supposed to have long flat hair and mine is currently growing bushy and upward. I feel like I am living in the land of the Flat Haired Dictatorship and often that is downright painful! Thank god I am going back to Canada soon! On the other hand, the disparaging looks and attitudes are compelling me to own and love my hair which is healthy ( I think) so there is a plus in there!

    Self-love baby, self-love!
  • hopcurlhopcurl Posts: 18Registered Users
    It is really hard living in a world that wants to try to change what is natural for a lot of people. I keep my hair short but want to grow it out again.

    It's hard, I hated it-when it was "bigger", when you are talking to someone and you noticed that all they are doing is looking at your hair-not your eyes! So annoying. I try to focus on the possitive comments that I have gotten and not all of the negative.
  • VerityVerity Posts: 616Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Part of the reason I like my hair straighter, or at least not as curly as it's capable of being, is caving to societal pressure, but part of it is that voluminous hair just overwhelms my small eyes and non-existent cheekbones. Big, curly hair just isn't flattering on everyone whose hair will do that.
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 20,729Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    I like being a non-conformist so comments like that don't bother me.
    My mother has never liked my hair and even at my ripe old age of 52 she still sometimes says 'I wish you would do something with that hair'.
    But the other day she said - "What is with all these girls with their straightened hair? They all look alike and it really looks ugly and has no style." She STILL didn't compliment my hair but it's a start!
    --I'm located in Western PA.   --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.   --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.   --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.   
    --My CG and grey hair progress -  
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html   
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey - 
    https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/color/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
  • SpiralliSpiralli Posts: 3,684Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    curlpro wrote: »
    Curly hair is the best. Deep down they want it, you know they do...
    This is great! :thumbleft:
    Location: Texas
    Type: 3b/3c (i), below shoulder length.
    CO wash: A-O GPB LYY, Desert Essence Coconut, Oribe Silverati
    Leave-ins: Curl Junkie Beauti-Curls, KCKT, cno overnight
    Styling: BRHG, MGA Sculpting Gel, A-O Mandarin Magic Gel, LOTD AVG, LALSG, CJ Pattern Pusha
    DT: Curl Junkie Deep Fix, Briogeo Don't Despair Repair!
  • RotiniRotini Posts: 53Registered Users
    Here's my quote on the subject, "Never mind what haters say, ignore em' til they fade away." "Live your life" by T.I.
    Curly Teen & Loving It!
    Type 3b/c hair

    I find myself with less respect for those who straighten their hair constantly or have relaxers or whatever else is out there. I believe that if your hair is curly, wavy, or straight, your hair is beautiful as is. There are non-damaging solutions for frizz or split ends or whatever. You don't have to burn it flat or fry it with chemicals to look "good." People say love the skin you're in, same goes for hair.
    :wav:

  • bergasaurusbergasaurus Posts: 375Registered Users
    We used to call people who would do anything to fit in 'sheeple' (sheep people). I always took it as a point of pride to be different. I don't recall getting a lot of negativity about my hair...but if I did, I wouldn't have cared - tfb baby.
    I am not a sheep, but I'm okay with being a poodle.
    No cones since 08/25/09. Occasional low poo.
    Fine, normal to low porosity (still not sure which), ii, 3a/3b curls
    Playing with products: HEBE Mousse, BRHG, AOMM, HESMU. Nothing blows my mind just yet. :D
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt
  • SandiSandi Posts: 364Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I was semi-frustrated when my mom answered to this, "haven't you seen all those straight-haired people get their hair curled"? Obviously, she did not get it. Btw, she is a curly, she just has "perfect", frizz-free, defined curls/waves.. w/o trying.. Why oh why has this gene eluded me?
    Hair Type: 3c/4a, Coarse, Med-High Density, Med-Low Porosity
    Curly since '09

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