Staying home one day a week..what's the problem??

Jess2316Jess2316 Posts: 617Registered Users
Before we started trying to have babies I told my hubby that I would want to stay home one day a week (from 40 hrs a week) once I was done with maternity leave because I don't want to have a child and not be able to spend time with him/her etc. He didn't really say much about it and since it wasn't an issue at the time I didn't push, but he clearly knew what I wanted and clearly didn't say "no".

So fast forward to now and I'm almost 18 weeks along and we're starting to discuss life after baby. I've tried talking to him about the off a day a week thing and he just gets visibly irritated and goes on about money and all that. I'm not sure if that is what is really bothering him or if he's jealous that he can't cut his hours (although I offered to do every other week so he could do a day then me the next week) but he just gets all mad and clams up and walks away.

So my question is...is it worth the extra day per week with the child to give up $500 a month? In doing so we are still saving PLENTY of money in my opinion. I think it's totally worth it, but he thinks it's too much. What do you guys think? Any ideas on how to explain to him why it's important to me?

He keeps saying "oh it's just because that's what your mom did and now that's what you want to do" and while that's not really why I'm sure that had some influence on me because those are the days I remember from when I was little, the days mom was home. Maybe telling him that would work..but he's just so stubborn about what he thinks about it that I don't think he can look at it from another point of view.
3a fine hair (I think)

CoN poo and Biolage Conditioning Balm
I love CK and B&A gel...I like HETT Mousse

Comments

  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    If you think he is really worried about the money, would it be possible to put $500 aside starting now? Then you can show him it is possible.
  • Jess2316Jess2316 Posts: 617Registered Users
    ruralcurls wrote: »
    If you think he is really worried about the money, would it be possible to put $500 aside starting now? Then you can show him it is possible.

    That's not a bad idea actually. I'll have to think about that one!
    3a fine hair (I think)

    CoN poo and Biolage Conditioning Balm
    I love CK and B&A gel...I like HETT Mousse
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Does your job allow you enough flexibility to work 4 days a week? Maybe your husband is worried that it'll make you a less valuable employee and you might be at risk of getting laid off. Do you get insurance or other benefits through your job that you'll lose by cutting your hours? These might be some issues that your husband is worried about.

    I think you need to have a heart to heart discussion with him and both say what's on your mind. Give him a chance to voice his concerns, whether they're about money or other issues, and you can express how important it is for you to stay home more. Surely you'll be able to come to some compromise, perhaps by saving extra money now as someone mentioned. Good luck!
    ehLB.jpg
  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    I don't get one day off a week, but I do get every other Friday off to spend with DS. I worked and negotiated with my boss to work an extra hour a day for 8 of 10 work days. Doing so affords me the day off and doesn't affect my pay or benefits.

    Could you do something like this?
    Long, blonde, 3a/mostly b hair.

    78Da.jpg78Dam6.png
  • LL~2009LL~2009 Posts: 146Registered Users
    you definately have some time to talk this over. Remember, Men at this stage in the game (early first preg) get a little over-concerned about their part: ie, traditionally and genetically the money.
    It would help if he could talk to any other dads who did make the change to allow mom to stay home.
    Do some research on how you can manage to save the money you'd otherwise be earning and show him those ideas. Lots of people do manage to down-scale and change their living styles in order to spend time with their kids.
    fine texture, porous,2c,3a&b (depending on humidity and length)Going gray

    Wash: KCCC
    Co wash~ Acure conditioner,JM Citrus Neroli
    Leave in: KCKT, beatiful curls shae butter
    Stylers: KKCC,
  • MagooMagoo Posts: 2,173Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LL~2009 wrote: »
    you definately have some time to talk this over. Remember, Men at this stage in the game (early first preg) get a little over-concerned about their part: ie, traditionally and genetically the money.
    It would help if he could talk to any other dads who did make the change to allow mom to stay home.
    Do some research on how you can manage to save the money you'd otherwise be earning and show him those ideas. Lots of people do manage to down-scale and change their living styles in order to spend time with their kids.

    I agree with the bolded. Also, I don't know if you are planning to have your LO go to daycare on the days you do work, but that could be factored into the money you'd save by staying home one day.
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
    Modified CG, CJ Rehab, JCWDT, KCKT, VO5 Chamomile Tea Therapy, CJDF, HEBE Gel/Mousse, Bioinfusion Rosemary Mint shampoo, occasional protein

    Experimenting with BRHG

    "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain"
  • bushyheadbushyhead Posts: 1,676Registered Users
    Do you think maybe he's worried about it turning into a give-an-inch-take-a-mile situation? In other words, maybe he thinks that if you start staying home one day a week, then after awhile you'll want to stay home two days a week, etc.
    tt2b5cc.aspx

    "Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift . . . that's why it's called the present." - Unknown

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file