Random Thoughts

brownsugar84brownsugar84 Posts: 111Registered Users
Hi -

I've been lurking on this site for awhile, posted here and there, but nothing substantial. I just wanted to vent my random thoughts on transitioning and natural hair because some of the things I've read have really bothered me, but I'm the type who has to sort out my thoughts. Now I can't remember where these posts live, so I'll make this semi general.

1) I've seen many women post how they're afraid to go natural because black men won't like their hair because it's nappy. I really don't think that this is the case. I find that a lot of men are not so much concerned with texture, but rather with length. If I had a penny for every time my boyfriend used to ask me if my hair will be short when I cut my relaxed ends off, I would be a millionaire. :laughing9: But seriously, this may sound a bit raunchy, but I think men are only concerned with length because in porn they're always grabbing long hair. But there's also curly hair in porn. They don't care what it is. It can be kinky, wavy, straight, green, blue, pink, as long as they have something to grab onto. I think that's where this obsession with long hair comes from. I say educate yourself and pass on your knowledge to your men. Most of them have no idea how a relaxer effects our hair and really think that natural AA hair can't grow. With all of that said, the bottom line is that the man you're with should love you for who you are. If he's seriously hung up on your hair to the point that he's putting you down, then he's not worth your time anyway. :snorting:

2) I saw a post not too long ago that said that people should stop saying they "want natural hair because that's how God made them" since we wear makeup and wax our eyebrows and God didn't do that. Ok, I'm not religious, but I am definitely on the side of the person who says God made us this way and we should be proud of it. No, God didn't create makeup, but a) makeup is not harmful to your health and b) all of the things that this person mentioned are not permanent physical alterations. This is also why I'm against plastic surgery. People should learn to love what they were born with. Makeup, waxing, etc simply enhances what you have already, can be washed off and is simple grooming...if done correctly anyway :p. Relaxing your hair is PERMANENTLY ALTERING your appearance. That's very different from putting some powder on your nose or mascara on your lashes. And I don't buy the whole "making it easier to manage" thing since most people have not even had to manage their natural hair ever in their lives. That's a crock of **** :roll:

3) Why does everyone think I'm mixed? I've seen a couple of these rants on here. I too have gotten this question although for slightly different reasons. Everyone everywhere I go is CONSTANTLY asking me if I am mixed or just assume that I am and just ask me what I am mixed with. FYI: I am not mixed at all. At first I thought it was a NY thing since there are so many cultures here and then I would think to myself, well, it must be because I have that good hair. Ok, I'm mad at myself for that last part. One thing that I've learned is that there's no such thing as good hair or bad hair. It's hair. Second, even if there was such a thing as "good hair", I DIDN'T HAVE IT. It was a friggin relaxer. My hair does not grow out of my head straight. What's scary is that many people with relaxers start to believe that it does...or maybe that was just me? :laughing9: I want to know that I look good the way that I'm supposed to be. I used to get tons and tons of compliments on my hair, but to me, they mean nothing if it's not natural. It's like someone complimenting you on a wig. The day that someone compliments my natural hair I will be overjoyed and be so thrilled to say thank you...and mean it.
Now, that was jut a bit of a vent, but I know when a lot of people on here are upset that people think they're mixed it's because they're black and their hair isn't nappy or the other way around...that they are white and their hair is nappy. I think this again is just a chance to educate some people. Sure, it gets tiring, but think about it this way: if we all stopped straightening our hair, learned to love ourselves and educated our brothers and sisters, and they went natural and did the same, we could make a world of change.


  • lit26lit26 Posts: 131Registered Users
    I lovee this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!! every one should read this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    last perm 11/8
    Bc'd 4-9-9 :sunny:

    A product to make tranistioning EASIER!:cheers:
    Scissors. Think of it like this, your mixing dirty clothes with clean clothes, you can use all the perfum you want (hair product) but the dirty clothes (permed hair) will never be clean, will eventually get old, raggedy, and eventually start shredding/breaking(natural&permed hair). Don't waste your time. Transitioning for most is a :boxing: fight that relaxed hair will win!
  • brownsugar84brownsugar84 Posts: 111Registered Users
    Why thank you! I obviously had a lot of extra time on my hands at work today. Haha.
  • preddy_blakkpreddy_blakk Posts: 39Registered Users


    Last Relaxer: 10/18/2008

    Probable BC : 10/10/2010
  • preddy_blakkpreddy_blakk Posts: 39Registered Users
    Great post! I don't know if I fully agree with the hair porn length point,lol...but I think alot of men associate long hair with femininity. I remember telling my boyfriend that I would be transitioning to natural and cutting my hair, and he automatically thought i was going to go and get a fade just like him,lol. Alot of men equate long hair to attractiveness.


    Last Relaxer: 10/18/2008

    Probable BC : 10/10/2010

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