Tell me its some switch I can turn off!!

deedlesdeedles Posts: 2,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
tantrum.gif
Please tell me there is some sort of switch that I can turn off and turn my lovely 3 year old boy back into the little love I remember.

Yes, he had meltdowns when he was in the "terrible twos" but nothing like what I have gone thru these past 2 weeks (gosh, he's only been 3 that long!) Tantrums, hitting, stomping, slamming his bedroom door, screaming... and today I get for the first time

"Mommy, I don't love you anymore!!" I know he didn't mean it.. but that don't mean it don't hurt!!

Tell me I'm not the only one currently going thru this or has gone thru it!!!

D
Liam: 6 years old
Colin: 3 years old
Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
Member Since: August 2000

Comments

  • CocoaCoilyCocoaCoily Posts: 2,648Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I love Calvin and Hobbes!!!

    OK, sorry to have to tell you, terrible twos start at two, and lasts two years. The way I got through it was to understand that this is a significant time of learning for them, but it's also a source of frustration. For example, they are developing finer motor skills, and feel as though they can do so much. But when they actually try to say, tie their shoes like mommy does so easily, they can't. But why?!!! Without the vocabulary to express themselves, or the understanding of why they can't do these things that look so easy, they often lose it.

    It gets better, trust me. By about 4 or so, they start to calm down. You can reason with them. They start to better understand rewards and consequences. It's a beautiful thing.
  • deedlesdeedles Posts: 2,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Thanks CC! I'm about to pull my hair out..

    D
    Liam: 6 years old
    Colin: 3 years old
    Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
    Member Since: August 2000
  • usedtobeDayzieusedtobeDayzie Posts: 78Registered Users
    I'm sorry you are going through this. It can be really frustrating.You know it's been my expirence that 3 is worse than 2. The good thing is that if you stay on them, and don't let them get away with all the bad behavior, and try to teach them how you want them to behave it does get better. Of course that comes with a lot of hard work, time, and patience. It's a full time job really, but so worth it. Your a great mom deedles, just keep loving him, and nudging him in the right directions.
    ...but you can call me Dayzie.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    You're not alone, Deedles. My daughter is a tantrum fiend at the moment. She threw a fit the other day and told me, "You don't even understand me!" o_0 I just put her little butt in her room and close the door until she stops screaming. Once she gets that wound, no amount of redirection will help.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie
  • deedlesdeedles Posts: 2,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    nynaeve, how old is she? is that her in the avatar?? love the face!

    D
    Liam: 6 years old
    Colin: 3 years old
    Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
    Member Since: August 2000
  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Posts: 5,844Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Neither of my kids had terrible twos but they both had horrible 3s. They turned into completely different children. You definitely aren't alone. I would let them tantrum as long as they were in their rooms and they could come out on their own when done and we would talk about the problem. I found trying to reason with a screaming child was impossble. You'll get through it, I promise.
    High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    deedles wrote: »
    nynaeve, how old is she? is that her in the avatar?? love the face!

    D

    Deedles, she turned three a couple weeks ago. The tantrum thing is newish...like, 4-6 weeks old. It's like one day, she discovered she can scream and ran with it. Oy.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    The tantrum/horrible age does last about 2 years, give or take. Some kids start younger...my kids all started tantrums around 18 months, and were pretty much done with it by 3. Some kids are wonderful til they hit 3 then turn into monsters. It doesn't mean my kids were more advanced...probably just more frustrated. They get through it, and so will you. Make their world as "yes" as possible. Ignore tantrums as best as you can. Give them choices, but limit the choices to two things, three at the most. More than that overwhelms them. Leave extra time for independant tasks, like getting dressed, pottying, and eating. You will have more patience if you aren't struggling to keep to a tight schedule.

    Above all...remember to laugh and have fun. They are funny as hell at that age.
  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    OMG deedles I'm right there with you.

    Lucy turned 3 in June and has been horrible ever since. There are days we have knock down drag out fights before breakfast. I will admit that I totally lose my cool and start screaming like a madwoman. I feel like Fred Flintstone when he loses his top. I swear steam is coming out of my ears.

    It's like all will be fine and dandy, then all of a sudden she'll find something to whine and complain about - and it usually something that she can't win so it goes on and on.

    Like one morning she decided she HAD to have waffles. Well we were out of waffles, but I promised her we could go get some later for her to have tomorrow. Well she just kept whining and insisting that we DID have waffles and that she WANTED WAFFLES!!! I was ready to kill her.

    The 'terrible twos' were a pleasure. Other than her being very particular about what she wore, she was fine. I really didn't understand what all the fuss was about - until 3 hit like a hurricane.

    I so feel your pain, I really don't know what happened to my sweet girl.

    The upside is they can be really funny at this age. The other day she was whining about something and I told her to stop whining, and she told me she was not whining, she was complaining. I had to laugh at that one.
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    My child has definitely been in the terrible twos. He is 2.5 and a strong-willed one. His verbal skills are improving more and more, and he's not sassy (yet?), but he can communicate better, and that helps.

    When he starts acting up, we start counting to three, and if we get to three, he gets sent to time out--which is just alone time in his room so he can cool off. The majority of the time, by the count of 2, he runs at you and gives you a big tackling hug and a "Hi" with a big smile, and the tantrum is forgotten. But he knows the system well by now. Sometimes he'll also try to get cute as you're walking him down to his room in hopes that he'll charm you out of giving him time-out, but that never works. :)

    I hope he'll get out of his terrible twos and be a little three-year-old angel, but that could be a futile hope. We'll see.
    ehLB.jpg
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm there too..Chas is starting to challenge me more. I just love being told No on a continuing bases. We do have some meltdowns but not a lot of tantrums yet.

    I am definitely buckling down the discipline at our house.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    My son threw some tantrums that were opera worthy but they usually died out when he realized he didn't have an audience. I used to turn around and walk away and ignore him. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Other times he was tired but over stimulated and nothing worked but putting him to bed. Yep, we survived it.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    I was feeling pretty good about making it through the 1's, 2's and 3's (the 1's being the worst for us). But now we are entering 4 and OMG, someone has turned on the "backtalking brat" switch and I need to turn it back off ASAP!

    I am shocked at the things coming out of my son's mouth these days. I've grown immune to the physical aggression of small children but wow, I was completely unprepared for when they start hurling insults and talking back. I've almost smacked my kid a few times this last week.

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