Do you think your looks matter less when you get oilder?

hipchick

I have a friend who feels that they matter much less when you are 40 and over. I think there are many considerations such as one's marital status, type of employment, quality of friendships and one's sense of self being solid that come into play when answering this question.

What do you all think?

2poodles

Interesting question. I think, for me at least, physical looks don't carry the same level of importance as they did when I was younger. I have more confidence in who I am as a whole person and I am more comfortable being myself rather than trying to "make myself over". I place more emphasis on my general health, level of energy, and vitality.

Hakim Nuraldin

2poodles wrote: »

Interesting question. I think, for me at least, physical looks don't carry the same level of importance as they did when I was younger. I have more confidence in who I am as a whole person and I am more comfortable being myself rather than trying to "make myself over". I place more emphasis on my general health, level of energy, and vitality.

This. But I still wanna look good/sexy.:p

ninja dog

Hmmm..........Interesting question.

I think that my looks still matter to me as much, but are somehow....less central to my life, if that makes sense. When I want to emphasize my appearance, it's nice to feel I still can, but when I don't care, it's nice to be old enough to lose myself in what I'm doing, regardless of looks.

Men's looks matter less to me, though. Contrary to popular opinion, I think they lose it more than we do.

wavycurly40+

I actually think looks are more important to me now, not less. Or at least, I put more effort into how I look. But I feel like I'm doing it more for me now, because I enjoy it, rather than because I think I'm not good enough or want to look like everybody else.

I'm also fairly accepting of the fact that I'm not gonna look like I did when I was younger. But I may look a little more polished. I was kind of a mess back then!

System

I have access to better products now and the knowledge of why they're better. Most Wet'n'Wild in frosted pink and shocking blue just ain't gonna cut it anymore. :flower:

Looks don't really matter less but I've learned to enhance what I have instead of tryin' to fake or regret what I don't.

dshack

I agree with you 100 percent! Well said, Speckla!

Speckla wrote: »

I have access to better products now and the knowledge of why they're better. Most Wet'n'Wild in frosted pink and shocking blue just ain't gonna cut it anymore. :flower:

Looks don't really matter less but I've learned to enhance what I have instead of tryin' to fake or regret what I don't.

rbb

i think it is true that we've learned more about how to work with our looks. so, it's one part that we are closer to maximizing our looks, one part that we are accepting of our looks.....
i do care how i look, but i don't care how others perceive me. i wear what i wear out of financial restrictions, and i feel okay about it. i think of it as being 'retro.' so, i want to look nice but i don't care about other's opinions. and that is very freeing.
i think no matter how old we are we want to look as best as we can without going crazy -- it's part of our dignity. ever either be sick yourself or talk with someone who is and the complaint often comes up about how bad they look? if we think we look nice, then we can forget about our looks and do what we need to do and do it better.
point being, we like to look nice no matter how old we are. it just takes a different perspective.

misspam

Hakim Nuraldin wrote: »

2poodles wrote: »

Interesting question. I think, for me at least, physical looks don't carry the same level of importance as they did when I was younger. I have more confidence in who I am as a whole person and I am more comfortable being myself rather than trying to "make myself over". I place more emphasis on my general health, level of energy, and vitality.

This. But I still wanna look good/sexy.:p

I agree with these posts. Though looks do not carry the same type of importance, they are still important. Part of aging gracefully is learning to accept what you have, highlight the good points, and I do feel that I don't want to look like I am "trying too hard", if that makes any sense. There is definitely a natural sexiness that comes from a confident older woman. Embracing my grey hair and not caring about my crows feet is my way of exuding that type of confidence.

As far as fitness goes, I do want to maintain my figure as best I can. Vanity doesn't have much to do with it these days. It's more about maintaining my health, vitality, energy, flexibility, etc. I want to be able to be an active grandparent when the time comes and also to stave off all the aches and pains from aging and letting onesself go. I figure if I can make it to 50 still wearing the same size jeans as I do today, I'll be doing well.

ninja dog wrote: »

Hmmm..........Interesting question.

I think that my looks still matter to me as much, but are somehow....less central to my life, if that makes sense. When I want to emphasize my appearance, it's nice to feel I still can, but when I don't care, it's nice to be old enough to lose myself in what I'm doing, regardless of looks.

Men's looks matter less to me, though. Contrary to popular opinion, I think they lose it more than we do.

I agree to the bolded here. :glasses1:

rudeechick

Hakim Nuraldin wrote: »

2poodles wrote: »

Interesting question. I think, for me at least, physical looks don't carry the same level of importance as they did when I was younger. I have more confidence in who I am as a whole person and I am more comfortable being myself rather than trying to "make myself over". I place more emphasis on my general health, level of energy, and vitality.

This. But I still wanna look good/sexy.:p

+2

rouquinne

when you're still in the dating world - they matter just as much; maybe more.

and i say that because many, MANY men my age all think that they're such hot stuff that they *deserve* beautiful YOUNGER women.

being fat like me... i don't stand a chance.

IamDonna

Being thrown into the dating world at the age of 48 for the first time since age 16 I found a new focus on looks, health, and fitness that I didn't even think about before. It's important for me to look good when the situation warrents BUT there are times and places when I don't give a damn.
I'm 53 now and am much more confident than when that journey started!! It was quite a nightmare!!

rudeechick

My sister and I (47 and 54 respectively) do this thing.... When we see pairs of old ladies on the street we joking fight over who gets to be which one. We each always want to be the more put together, well maintained one.

So I answer YES.:thumbup:

mandyv

It's more important to me now, out of both vanity and health concerns and energy level. It's easy to look good in your 20s and 30s, but when you look good (fit, sexy) in your 40s and 50s, I think you stand out more because a lot of people let themselves go. I love being thought of as younger. Again, this week at a Depeche Mode concert, someone thought my son was my date

I'm single, so I'm probably more diligent about staying slim than a married person, but that's just a theory. If my butt is tight and in good shape, it helps my confidence tremendously.

Caleilani

To me,it matters,and always have,I guess even when I get to my 60s if I make it that long.I have men of all ages hitting on me all the time,and get mistaken for my teens' sister.I'm told that I look like I'm in my early 20s which makes me feel good.Noone in my family has wrinkles,my Grandma is going on 89 and she doesn't have any.My 105 year old great-great Aunt has very few wrinkles and she has a 72 year boyfriend.So,I'm looking forward to getting older !:blob4:

KurleeEdna

Being a single 45-year-old... yes, looks still matter.

However, back in my 20s and 30s, it was more about straightening the hair and putting on lots of makeup. (Hey, I was taking cues from the glam rockers of the 80s!)

Now, though, it's not about the eyeliner, but about being true to myself. I try to keep the natural curls and (still acne-prone) skin looking healthy, and I'm confident enough to say, "This is me, like it or not." If not, well movin' on... :lurk:

rbb

Caleilani wrote: »

To me,it matters,and always have,I guess even when I get to my 60s if I make it that long.I have men of all ages hitting on me all the time,and get mistaken for my teens' sister.I'm told that I look like I'm in my early 20s which makes me feel good.Noone in my family has wrinkles,my Grandma is going on 89 and she doesn't have any.My 105 year old great-great Aunt has very few wrinkles and she has a 72 year boyfriend.So,I'm looking forward to getting older !:blob4:

i love that your 105 yr old gg aunt has a 72 yr old bf!!!! with all the competition out there, worse as we get older, wow!!! :toothy4: good for her!!

Mar

2poodles wrote: »

I have more confidence in who I am as a whole person and I am more comfortable being myself

what she said

jeepcurlygurl

My looks still matter to ME, but it's not as important to me now if I look good to OTHERS.
I'm comfortable in my own skin and am not obsessed with my looks, but I still wash my hair and put on lotions and wear makeup and nail polish every day. It makes me feel good.

Alexjoujou

I'd agree that looks matter but in a different way. Although I'm single and 43 I'm not dating nor looking. I don't feel the pressure now that I felt in my 20's--the competition for me isn't there.

Right now I'm findin a renewed focus on my appearance and health. The hair thing is part of that. Plus for the first time ever I was told I had high triglycerides and low good cholesterol so that's kind of a wake up call.

I have a son with special needs (lots) and the last 10 years was more about him honestly---I feel like my 30's just whizzed by due to all his issues. I didn't focus on myself at all--so I'm kind of making up for it now but *for me* and no one else. That feels darn good!

I think the general thread from many of the posts here is that they want to look good for themselves--less about others and more about finding your own sense of self and getting that confidence. I notice at my work that most of us in our 40's and 50's carry ourselves much more confidently and assuredly--we seem to have greater comfort with ourselves and sense of purpose...as opposed to the under 30's where it is mostly about how they appear to others..with some exceptions. I think that's just the nature of that age though

Great topic!

Verity

When I was younger, I thought looks would cease to matter to me by the time I reached my 40s, if I could think that far ahead. ;-) I figured that appearance would matter less if/when I managed to find a husband.

I've been married for 18 years, and I still find myself envious of the women who have head-turning good looks. I wonder what it would be like to get attention just for being physically attractive. Maybe it's not all I think it is.

I do think I look pretty good for my age, particularly in that I have managed to stay thin. Being thin is extremely important to my self-image. I can control my weight; I can't control the fact that I don't have the features of a model.

2poodles

Verity wrote: »

When I was younger, I thought looks would cease to matter to me by the time I reached my 40s, if I could think that far ahead. ;-) I figured that appearance would matter less if/when I managed to find a husband.

I've been married for 18 years, and I still find myself envious of the women who have head-turning good looks. I wonder what it would be like to get attention just for being physically attractive. Maybe it's not all I think it is.

I do think I look pretty good for my age, particularly in that I have managed to stay thin. Being thin is extremely important to my self-image. I can control my weight; I can't control the fact that I don't have the features of a model.[/QUOTE]


Good point. I take more pride in a fit, healthy size/shape than in perfectly dyed hair/ exquisitely-applied make-up/stylish designer clothes/wrinkle-free skin. I guess it boils down to good health being more important to me than good looks at this stage.... That plus, looking fit does contribute to looking good!

caramix3a

For me, the answer is no - I still like to look good. Granted, what's good now is different from what it's like when a lot younger, but in general, staying slim and fit goes a long way for me to look good, along with haircoloring, enjoyable styles, makeup, and some simple skincare. Just because I'm in my early 60s now doesn't mean that I have just forgotten about style, makeup, and hair. But living a healthy lifestyle DOES become more important the older one gets, and will go far toward making one look and feel better too. In another area where I lived, I saw far too many women who when reaching menopause seemed to be prone to cutting off all their beautiful hair into some very generic, too-short look, and adopt what was known on another board as the "menopausal burqa" - baggy clothes with no style or flattering color. Even if one is sporting a few extra pounds which is pretty common with change of life, one can still dress to look good - the books about "What not to wear" are pretty good for starters, even if one doesn't always agree with everything. With that, and the above, plus one's own aesthetic sense, one can look great at any age, and it doesn't mean being overly plasticized through too many procedures, plastic surgery etc.
But I'd say keeping one's weight down and posture good goes a long way towards looking great as one ages.

Spiralli

For me, no, my looks don't matter less as I've gotten older. What does matter is that I've grown to realize that what other people think of my looks doesn't matter at all -- except for my DH.