What are your opinions on strip clubs?

ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
It came up on an older post, "What is Cheating?".

For me, if I were in a relationships, I wouldn't tolerate someone who went to strip clubs. I don't think I'd date someone in the first place who went to them - maybe nightclubs too just because that isn't my scene and would like someone with similar interests. I am a homebody I suppose and like quiet places.

I also wouldn't change someone, that is not my right. I know this.

It amazes me that a lot of people have told me I am prude for not being OK with it or I am just insecure. I don't consider myself a prude or insecure. I am just not comfortable with it.

But some people tell me I need to change or else I will never find anyone, this makes me sad.
We all have our OWN set of morals, beliefs and opinions so why can I not hold this one?

Also, I hold no judgment against those who do not mind these places.
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Comments

  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't like them, either. I think it's a terrible way for women to make money, and that some men who frequent such places do so in order to avoid addressing their issues with real, live women.

    BUT, many women feel (from what I've heard personally, and read) that being a stripper is the only way for them to work the system, make good money, and that the rest of us who don't like it can gth. I think it's sad, but I see their point, too.
  • ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
    ninja dog wrote: »
    I don't like them, either. I think it's a terrible way for women to make money, and that some men who frequent such places do so in order to avoid addressing their issues with real, live women.

    BUT, many women feel (from what I've heard personally, and read) that being a stripper is the only way for them to work the system, make good money, and that the rest of us who don't like it can gth. I think it's sad, but I see their point, too.

    May I ask if you are OK with it in a relationship?

    From your post I'd assume you wouldn't be but I don't want to assume... though I just did kind of. :P
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  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    Not a fan. In fact, so not a fan it's a dealbreaker. My husband knew going into our relationship that I dislike strip clubs, and he respects that.
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  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It would be an issue for me in a relationship.

    In fact, thanks to a previous relationship, I'm not even comfortable with porn anymore. I went into it (the relationship) being open about it, but over time, I saw how it came between us.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,812Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I guess I can understand why very young guys would wanna go to them...and maybe very old ones, too:dontknow:. But I think there comes a certain point in the life of a grown man when the appeal of such things should wear off and their choice of passtimes should evolve.

    I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he visited these places occasionally in his youth but I wouldn't be bothered w/ any man who regularly spent time there. His tastes would prolly be too vulgar for me and his view of women, too objectified.

    Personally, I think that industry contributes to society's degradation of womanhood and can hurt marriages, ruin neighborhoods, etc., etc.

  • ellageorginaellageorgina Posts: 1,511Registered Users
    If my boyfriend went to a strip club, I would kill him.
    However, I don't judge the girls that work in strip clubs, I mean to each their own. I have just as much right to judge them as they have to judge me. If that's what they want to do, and they're willing to deal with the consequences then, fine.
    Just because they work in those places doesn't make them any worse than us, I mean we don't know their circumstances, how they grew up, what what other options they have etc.
    But again, if my boyfriend went to one he would be dead!! Lol. ;)
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  • burgundy_locksburgundy_locks Posts: 2,420Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.
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  • ellageorginaellageorgina Posts: 1,511Registered Users
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.

    That just shows to me that you're a very secure person which is great :D AND that there's a lot of trust in your relationship - also great.
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  • ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.

    That just shows to me that you're a very secure person which is great :D AND that there's a lot of trust in your relationship - also great.

    While I agree. I do not necessarily think if you are not OK with strip clubs there is no trust or security. For me at least it's just my moral I suppose.

    But I'd never crucify you. :)
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  • ellageorginaellageorgina Posts: 1,511Registered Users
    Residual wrote: »
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.

    That just shows to me that you're a very secure person which is great :D AND that there's a lot of trust in your relationship - also great.

    While I agree. I do not necessarily think if you are not OK with strip clubs there is no trust or security. For me at least it's just my moral I suppose.

    But I'd never crucify you. :)

    That's true, I mean I totally trust my bf, but you already know what would happen to him if he went to one... Lol.
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  • KookyCurlKookyCurl Posts: 1,980Registered Users
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.

    I agree. Partly because I've seen the girls who work in the one here and boy howdy do you need some beer googles to make them pretty! But also because I just don't mind. As long as it's not a regular occurrence meh whatevs.
  • lazy loopslazy loops Posts: 8,792Registered Users
    They're usually trashy looking & in a trashy part of town. They seem to draw a bad crowd.

    But the guys (& gals?) who go there & the gals who works there, well, that's their business...

    So long as it's not my husband or son! :p
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    I don't mind them. Occasionally I enjoy going with my husband, and I am OK with him going with his friends too, once in a while. My main concern is not spending too much money there because those places are designed to separate a man from his cash.

    I don't judge the women who work there or make generalizations about them.

    I also don't judge people who are not into them. To each their own.
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  • burgundy_locksburgundy_locks Posts: 2,420Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    KookyCurl wrote: »
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.

    I agree. Partly because I've seen the girls who work in the one here and boy howdy do you need some beer googles to make them pretty! But also because I just don't mind. As long as it's not a regular occurrence meh whatevs.

    Hahaha this is funny!! i just think in relationships, you need to pick which battles to win or lose. as long as they're not habitual strip club-ers, i don't really see the malice. it could be waaay worst. but residual, don't worry about not liking strip clubs. that doesnt make you a prude!! and if ur dating a guy who will call u a prude for that, you better kick him to the curb!!!!!!
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  • burgundy_locksburgundy_locks Posts: 2,420Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh, and hey Ella :)
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  • ellageorginaellageorgina Posts: 1,511Registered Users
    Oh, and hey Ella :)

    Hey! Long time no speak!! :)
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  • ScarletScarlet Posts: 3,125Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't like them and I wouldn't want my significant other frequenting one. But if you (gy) like them, I'm not going to judge you for that.
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  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    I have a relative who works at a stripclub and I don't care for them but because sometimes she works near where I live it could be very awkward if my bf was there and then later met her........:tongue1:
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think the stripping and porn industries are very detrimental and disrespectful to women, and I couldn't abide a man who contributed to them. Technically, my husband is "allowed" to go if he wants...I don't stop him from doing anything...but if he wants to hang out with me, he'd better not.

    I let it slide one time when he attended a client golf outing and there were topless "budweiser" strippers serving beer from a golf cart. He didn't know they were going to be there, and he should have left on principal, but he didn't, because...well, because he's a man. :roll:
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    :lol:
    I'm thinking something like this...
    
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  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 20,652Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    I've been in some really nice strip clubs and some really crappy strip clubs. At one time my husband's softball team was sponsored by a strip club so we spent alot of time in them. I don't mind them and I don't mind my men going to them.
    I think wet tshirt contests and dunking booths are worse. At least stripping involves music and usually a bit of talent.

    But if strip clubs bother you, then you should make it clear how you feel. Others should respect your feelings.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't like them because I think they're degrading and obnoxious, and they are just innappropriate in terms of where we're trying to be as women.

    If my husband were occasionally attending them because of group guy situations I wouldn't NOT allow him to go, but I would voice that I felt it was unnecessary.

    I have my own personal views about those who work at strip clubs as well, but I keep them to myself. I have friends that are "dancers" as well, but to each their own.

    I'm not interested in going, but I have been to them before.

    Thankfully my husband is getting old and isn't really interested in it anymore anyway.
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  • brown_eyedgal20brown_eyedgal20 Posts: 412Registered Users
    don't crucify me but i dont mind strip clubs. i dont want my guy to go every week, or even once a month. but if he were with friends, and they wanted to go because of a birthday thing, or just a guys night out thing, i'm ok with it. if it was a group of friends and i was invited, i would also go. i think it gets weird if the guy went every weekend... that i wouldnt allow.


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  • OBBOBB Posts: 4,174Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    don't crucify me .

    i think crucifying went out with the Roman empire. now they just call you "troll."
    I let it slide one time when he attended a client golf outing and there were topless "budweiser" strippers serving beer from a golf cart. He didn't know they were going to be there, and he should have left on principal, but he didn't, because...well, because he's a man. :roll:

    comon RCW cant you let him be a man for a couple of hours (JK)?

    Im not into strip clubs. the several ive been to were for bachelor parties. if i had to make a choice i prefer renting a video its much cheaper.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,812Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Can I just throw this question out there:

    Why such permissive attitudes re. the women who work in strip clubs...when opinions of the clubs themselves are so poor?

    Working the system? Aren't we all (mostly) women here? Many of us are ethnic minorities, immigrants, from poor families, etc., who have the odds stacked against us. And yet most of us are holding it down w/o resorting to this line of work.

    Why demonize the industry but hold the purveyors of the services blameless? I don't get it. W/o the "dancers", the clubs would shut down.

  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    geeky wrote: »
    I don't mind them. Occasionally I enjoy going with my husband, and I am OK with him going with his friends too, once in a while. My main concern is not spending too much money there because those places are designed to separate a man from his cash.

    I don't judge the women who work there or make generalizations about them.

    I also don't judge people who are not into them. To each their own.

    I used to be against them, but have this attitude now. Though, I haven't ever been to one. I think they can become a problem for some.

    Kind of reminds me of a billboard sign on the side of the freeway here, advertising "Centerfolds" strip club:

    "1000's of gorgeous girls....and 3 ugly ones."

    I think it's funny.
    :rambo:
  • ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
    Can I just throw this question out there:

    Why such permissive attitudes re. the women who work in strip clubs...when opinions of the clubs themselves are so poor?

    Working the system? Aren't we all (mostly) women here? Many of us are ethnic minorities, immigrants, from poor families, etc., who have the odds stacked against us. And yet most of us are holding it down w/o resorting to this line of work.

    Why demonize the industry but hold the purveyors of the services blameless? I don't get it. W/o the "dancers", the clubs would shut down.

    I am not sure how I feel about the women who work there... so I haven't said anything regarding it. But what you said makes sense.

    Also, I am OK with porn. Some would say I should not tolerate it either. But I look at strip clubs and porn differently. I can see where people say both degrade women. But in a relationship I guess I am just OK with porn and with strip clubs I wouldn't tolerate it. I can't explain it, it's just how I feel.
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  • PrettyMedusaPrettyMedusa Posts: 619Registered Users
    When I was in college, I made a film about women who worked at strip clubs but who were also artists, and it was all about how they used their stripper persona as part of their performative/artistic persona. In playing the archetypal role of the stripper (which goes back to the courtesan/hetaera/geisha figure), they were actually engaging in age-old ritual work of uncovering the sacred feminine. I saw plenty of women on stage who were taking what many view as an oppressive, degrading industry and upending many of those entrenched power structures by virtue of their performances, which were beautiful, provocative, and went way beyond your typical sexy-stripper routine. Certainly, the fact that strip clubs still fall under the rubric of a patriarchal, monetarily induced system in which men still hold the power is highly problematic, and I haven't quite figured out my feelings around the issue. All the same, it really made me rethink a lot of my own preconceived notions about who these women were and what would have possessed them to get into this line of work in the first place.

    Having been to dozens of strip clubs as a college student, I still think that most of them are raunchy, unpleasant, and gross. I don't judge women who work there, however, and it's kind of a non-issue with my husband because he finds strip clubs endlessly dull. The forced sexiness is kind of silly and leaves little to the imagination, IMHO. Maybe most men drool over that, but mine doesn't.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    OBB wrote: »

    comon RCW cant you let him be a man for a couple of hours (JK)?



    I let him be a man. Unfortunately, it's being a man that keeps him from being an absolutely perfect human being. He fights the testosterone poisoning as best he can, but it still creeps into control occasionally.
  • PrettyMedusaPrettyMedusa Posts: 619Registered Users
    Can I just throw this question out there:

    Why such permissive attitudes re. the women who work in strip clubs...when opinions of the clubs themselves are so poor?

    Working the system? Aren't we all (mostly) women here? Many of us are ethnic minorities, immigrants, from poor families, etc., who have the odds stacked against us. And yet most of us are holding it down w/o resorting to this line of work.

    Why demonize the industry but hold the purveyors of the services blameless? I don't get it. W/o the "dancers", the clubs would shut down.

    I just feel that people's lives are too complex for me to have a cut and dried attitude of judgment. Who am I to malign strippers for their decisions? Perhaps some of you have the mentality that if women are subjecting themselves to this kind of work, they are pulling down the rest of womankind. I just think this takes the onus of responsibility off the men who frequent such places and create the demand in the first place. (And in a much larger sense, the public consumption of female sexuality is something that is so ingrained and so institutionalized in most cultures that I'm not necessarily sure it's in people's individual power to just "stop" going to or working at strip clubs.)

    In terms of the industry, realistically, it is one that like prostitution, has always been around and has always served a mutual interest in both men and women. As much as some of us might hate strip clubs, they're always going to be around, so I just don't think it's productive to denounce or disparage the women who work there. The power structure is problematic, I agree, but perhaps the solution will come from not demonizing the industry or other women, but rather, creating safe, clean spaces for the women to work and encouraging the development of more women-run strip clubs (like San Francisco's historic Lusty Lady).

    I just feel that, as people, we're all working the system and exploiting some aspect of our body/intellect in some way or another--whether that means selling our soul to the corporate devil, using our bodies to get ahead, etc. Condemning women who use their sexuality in their line of work seems to be a straw man for the greater issues of gender inequity that affect us on a daily basis.
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