I have no idea what to do now!

SlainSoulSlainSoul Posts: 12Registered Users
I had shoulder length hair most of my life. It only seems to grow about an inch a year, and it broke about an inch a year. Well, I tried working for a while and it really stressed my hair out, it got weak and my whole pony tail had to be chopped. The ends of my hair were so thin, it was not good, but I would rather have shaggy looking relaxed hair than have the hair I have(3c-4). Now that I only have a couple inches of hair left, I have no clue what to do with it. My stylist said don't press/iron it but once a week, if that, no relaxers or color.

Fine, I feel her, I want hair, but that means wearing it natural, and only having a couple inches of it. I wear a scarf on my head 24 hours a day. I am so embarrassed about having short hair in the first place but now that it is curly, I have no options for hair styles.

It looks ok straight, but the less heat I put on it the better. The only hairstyles I have seen for people like me are, braids, puffs, dread locks, and fros. But I could never wear any of these styles in confidence. What am I supposed to do will some one please help me????

I guess when I can get alone I can take a picture of it for you all but, I don't let anyone accept my boyfriend see my hair now, so it may be a week or so before I work up the nerve to take a picture of my dreadful want to be hair. It is not good.
slain adj : killed; `slain' is formal or literary as in "slain warriors"; n : people who have been slain (as in battle)


  • thirteenlbsthirteenlbs Posts: 205Registered Users
    Please, please don't take this the wrong way--but you are going to have to learn to love the you you are. That or hide in your house for a year.

    Seriously, many of the styles that you mentioned are good options for women who want instant length-- braids, twists, or weaves might be long- term options until your hair grows a bit.

    I chopped to about 2.5 inches...it was very, very weird at first. I got a lot of odd looks and it took some time for me to adjust. Some days I loved it, and some days I wished I'd waited to chop.

    What I've found here is a bunch of great, knowledgeable women who can help you make your hair look fantastic...but you have to be open to that!

    Best wishes!


    And P.S.-- your natural hair will grow far faster than an inch a year-- you'll see!
    O, S, with fine strands
  • SlainSoulSlainSoul Posts: 12Registered Users
    Well, I have not had hair this short since I was an infant. But yesterday I made an appointment to see my stylist next weekend just for the purpose of learning to work with short hair.

    I tried some new products yesterday to attempt to relax my curls a bit special shampoos and conditioners, and I guess it worked a little bit but I ended up flat ironing and it is just so nice to wake up with straight hair. I still keep it covered because I can't stand to look at myself like that. I have a round face and short hair does not really look all that great on me.

    Personally, I am not real impressed with the way I look but that is besides the point. The point is, is it is not so much what you think you look like what really matters is what everyone else thinks.

    No one on this website can honestly say they would give a care about their hair if they were the only person on earth. Heck, I would not even bathe on a regular basis if it were not for other people. Nor would I care what my hair looks like but this is an image is everything world and it you don't try to make your self physically acceptable there is no way of knowing how many opportunities one might miss.

    I did not make the rule.
    slain adj : killed; `slain' is formal or literary as in "slain warriors"; n : people who have been slain (as in battle)
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    Like thirteen mentioned, you're going to have to accept your hair the way it grows out of your scalp. That's what NC.com is about. The girls here can help you get your naturally curly hair looking good and help you find a balance while it grows back, but you will have to change your thinking. You can't focus on how others see you, someone can always find fault in your appearance regardless if you are bald or have hair all the way down your back.

    Good luck.
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • SlainSoulSlainSoul Posts: 12Registered Users
    Well, I am still under the scarf. I can not figure out any good hair styles since it is so short and I just found out last night that my dear friend is coming back in town. I am scared. I hate being seen this way. No matter how much I work out, pamper my skin, I still look cracked out with this hair. I am so down these days, my whole life is different, I can hardly stand to be around people any more and I only feel some what comfortable when I am alone. And so, my long time friends decides to come pack in town, and he will be living with my boyfriend. My boyfriend is the only person I alow to even see my hair sometimes. I will be under this stupid scarf for the rest of my life it seems.
    slain adj : killed; `slain' is formal or literary as in "slain warriors"; n : people who have been slain (as in battle)
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,136Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Hi Slain, though I don't have your same hairtype I can relate to your pain. Naturally I have hair that I totally love (think Salma Hayek in Desperado), but for the past 5 years or so, my hair has been a nightmare. It became so damaged that some parts of it were actually kinky and hard and even when wet, my hair appeared to be dry. That's incredibly damaged. I ended up cutting my hair to about an inch. Personally, I hate short hair, but to make it worse, my hair was damaged -- not healthy. For a while I wore a wig, but eventually I had to do something with my transitioning hair. I learned how not to make the same mistakes that led me to this state and I also began to take care of my hair. Your best bet is to not focus on what you can't change about your hair; it grows faster when you're not obsessed with it. Also, even if you want straight hair, your hair has to be healthy, and obviously yours is not. Start conditioning your hair a lot. Invest in great products for your hair type. If you decide to flat iron it, do it once every 3 days and deep condition in the days between. Also check out the longlovelylocks line; the founder had similar problems to yours. If you do this, I'm pretty sure you'll probably begin to like your hair in its natural healthy state. It'll grow back before you know it; mine has. :D
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • RavenhairbellydancerRavenhairbellydancer Posts: 15Registered Users
    Girl, dont be upset about this,, im not sure whether u relax ur hair or not? Make sure u always deep condition ur hair and eat adequate protein, eat well, limit stress and ur hair will grow back fine,, i think ur doing right to leave it alone under a scarf, I think you only think ud been getting an inch a year when u may have actually been getting 4 to 6 and breaking 4 to 6, Ive seen people who think theyre hair doesnt grow when its actually breaking off from the ends,, try mango butter or shea butter and apply it wet, and then make braids in your hair if u can and take it out in the morning and it will have a wave pattern....
    Currently Transitioning since Sept 05 ,, hair Type 3b/c,, will NEVER relax again and I want my curls and length back!!! Armpit length in front and nearly bra strap in back, growing and loving having my natural hair back......

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