Get Out of My Hair!

MsladiiMsladii Registered Users Posts: 442
So.. my bf had HIF... except he doesn't have a fro... Its always in mine... And I don't mind when we're just hanging out... And I did a simple wash and go... But on days when I spent a lot of time on my hair for something special.. He tends to want to play in it more... He says he can't help it.. he just loves my hair...

And at first it was cute... and I was like gosh.. A black man who appreciates natural hair (I haven't really come across many... well.. any... ) But now... sometimes it can be frustrating...

Do you think if I told him that its cool to touch when my hair is out and wild... but when its "styled" for something special its "hands off!!" would hurt his feelings??

This isn't a relationship ending thing.. I'm not that dramatic... But.. it takes a lot of time to get my hair perfect sometimes!
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Comments

  • Nappy_curly_crownNappy_curly_crown Registered Users Posts: 4,162 Curl Connoisseur
    Girl...as much as I hear chicks crying about thier man hates thier hair and you have one that LOVES the naps? I don't see what the problem is. Let him love the naps!

    My BF is the same way. When my hair is out and wild...his hands are in it. ALL the time. Even when we are out in public. It used to frustrate the heck outta me. But when I realized that most women would pawn thier first born child to have a guy that loves thier natural hair...to the point where he even encourages the PJ ism...shoot. He can run his hands through my hair any time he wants. even if that means my style that was supposed to last 3 days only makes it 2...lol.
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  • MsladiiMsladii Registered Users Posts: 442
    Girl...as much as I hear chicks crying about thier man hates thier hair and you have one that LOVES the naps? I don't see what the problem is. Let him love the naps!

    My BF is the same way. When my hair is out and wild...his hands are in it. ALL the time. Even when we are out in public. It used to frustrate the heck outta me. But when I realized that most women would pawn thier first born child to have a guy that loves thier natural hair...to the point where he even encourages the PJ ism...shoot. He can run his hands through my hair any time he wants. even if that means my style that was supposed to last 3 days only makes it 2...lol.

    Yupp thats him.... We're sitting in the car at a red light... hands in my hair... walking in the streets... hands in my hair...

    Shoot get your own!!! LOL!!!!

    I guess I should embrace it... because your right... None of my bf's before him liked my hair at all... He loves it!
    PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IT WILL BE ABOUT NATURAL HAIR CARE / STYLES / TUTORIALS AND COSMETICS I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK AND SUPPORT
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  • NubianCoilsNubianCoils Registered Users Posts: 2,149
    I agree with NCC. My husband is CONSTANTLY causing my fro to be lopsided, fuzzy, or mashed in cause he runs his hands all through it (and smiffs it a lot but thank God that's not in public!!). When we're at home I don't care but when we're out and he takes me from looking super hot to a hot mess in less than 2 minutes, I get annoyed. But then I listen to my friends complain about how they have to straighten their hair everytime they see their SO's family or on special occasions and I don't say a word. I just sit there quietly beside my husband while he messes, on the train, in my nice dress with my banging accessories and my flawless make up, with my jacked up fro. :toothy10:
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  • eccentric_kurlzeccentric_kurlz Registered Users Posts: 4,151 Curl Connoisseur
    I understand where you're coming from. My ex was the same way. I used to playfully shake my head when he'd do it when I didn't want him to mess up the 'do, or make a silly comment, and he'd know to chill w/o it hurting his feelings. But I actually liked when he did it most of the time. ESPECIALLY when he'd place his palm on the back of my neck and massage the nape area. It was the most relaxing thing. I would almost fall asleep with him doing that. LOL!

    And most of the guys I've dated somewhat seriously couldn't keep their hands off of it, whether a wash n go, or twists. Even in those instances, I liked it. It's nice when you encounter men who embrace your natural hair. But I also have hih disease with someone. I always mess up their hair running my hands through their curls. Not on purpose, and really, I don't mess it up but he has to fix it somewhat afterward. Can't help it....his hair is like a magnet. So, I try to cut him some slack for messing with mine. LOL!
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  • mozekemozeke Registered Users Posts: 480
    I guess I'm the minority on this one. I think there is a time and place for everything. My SO wouldn't want me to mess up his hair while we were out in public so I don't let him mess up mine. Now when we are at the house chillaxin it's a whole 'nother story. I remember asking him how he would feel if I rubbed his hair back (you know against the grain) and messed up his waves. He was like "oh, okay I see what you mean, but I can still do it at home tho right?" I told him yes and so we compromised. I do agree with the ladies above. I'd rather have one that wouldn't stop touching my hair than one who made rude/negative comments about it.
    Last relaxer: 12/10/07
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  • RMichelleMRMichelleM Registered Users Posts: 301
    mozeke wrote: »
    I guess I'm the minority on this one. I think there is a time and place for everything. My SO wouldn't want me to mess up his hair while we were out in public so I don't let him mess up mine. Now when we are at the house chillaxin it's a whole 'nother story. I remember asking him how he would feel if I rubbed his hair back (you know against the grain) and messed up his waves. He was like "oh, okay I see what you mean, but I can still do it at home tho right?" I told him yes and so we compromised. I do agree with the ladies above. I'd rather have one that wouldn't stop touching my hair than one who made rude/negative comments about it.


    exactly what i was going to say LOL

    my bf has a fit about his waves (and i understand that) so sometimes i do ask him to be mindful of my style when he's playing with my hair
    :blob7:fOtKi:blob7:



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  • Sapphire_ChicSapphire_Chic Registered Users Posts: 189
    my bf had his friend touching my hair during a recent twistout. :-?

    i think if it's during an intimate moment like a hug or snuggling then i'd probably enjoy or tolerate it.

    in public i'm usually abit more worried about it getting messed up. the bf doesn't have any hair but when i try to touch it he'll be acting like i'm messing it up and then smooth it back into position and i'm just like..it looks exactly the same:laughing2:
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  • afrikurlafrikurl Registered Users Posts: 736
    Umm NO. Not in public, not in private. My husband loves my hair but he knows better, he may come back with a nub. He will compliment my hair when it's feirce. He touches it sometimes before I style it or something. I even run and grab my bonnet or scarf if things are getting hot in heavy.... that's just the way it is
  • Hakim NuraldinHakim Nuraldin Registered Users Posts: 1,467
    Damn, ya'll. Am I the only one getting hot with all this talk of touching and caressing and rubbing one's hair? To me it's a turn on. But then again, I wouldn't want to engage in any foreplay in public, so I vote no HIH. At least outside.;-)
  • EkuaSoulEkuaSoul Registered Users Posts: 870
    Damn, ya'll. Am I the only one getting hot with all this talk of touching and caressing and rubbing one's hair? To me it's a turn on. But then again, I wouldn't want to engage in any foreplay in public, so I vote no HIH. At least outside.;-)

    Ditto.... reminds me of a time when......

    ....ummmm... never mind....
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  • MsladiiMsladii Registered Users Posts: 442
    Lolz I guess I need to be less sensitive about my hair!
    PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IT WILL BE ABOUT NATURAL HAIR CARE / STYLES / TUTORIALS AND COSMETICS I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK AND SUPPORT
    http://www.youtube.com/user/simplycliche

    "Shrinkage is only your hair trying to get closer to you...embrace it."
    O, medium/course, spongy, mass of beautiful curly hair

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  • RonnieajRonnieaj Registered Users Posts: 304
    When my BF plays with my hair in public, which is all the time, he makes sure to put it back in the same place he found it, lol! I'm tolerant because he was there for the transition stage and I wasn't sure how he'd like it, but he's totally enthralled with it. To the point where he's learning how to twist it so my arms don't get tired doing it myself. And when we're out and both lookin fiiiiiiiiierce, neither of us mess with the finished product.
  • TK*TK* Registered Users Posts: 885
    My bf loves to play with my hair in the morning. He insists on "doing the treasure troll" by getting my hair to stick up with his hands. I don't mind it as long as he does it in private, and it always seems to amuse him so I put up with it. When I style my hair he knows not to touch it. When we're just laying on the couch he'll often put his hands in it and compliment me on how soft it is. Makes me happy.

    ETA:
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    *sigh* It's what I look like in the morning.
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  • mariag002mariag002 Registered Users Posts: 3,557 Curl Neophyte
    TK* your siggie Troll is making me crack up!! LMAO

    I get annoyed when my DH touches my hair. I never thought I'd say it. Especially if its in a protective style and he thinks he's going to mess it up. I'm nice about it though so he won't suspect a thing. :angry3:
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  • peanutbutter.brownsugarNApeanutbutter.brownsugarNA Registered Users Posts: 158
    I understand what everyone is saying, but the way I look at it is ITS A SCALP MASSAGE :tongue1::cheers:

    I let my bf play in my hair when its wild, he knows not to mess with my twist outs cause he helped me put them in before. When they're apart of the hard work that goes into a hairstyle, guys have more of an appreciation for it.

    besides, i'm to lazy to do my own scalp massage, so i let him do it!!!!!!!!
    Guess what........ WE ARE ALL IGNORANT
    HAIR CHALLENGE
    ACCEPT PEOPLES HAIR REGARDLESS IF IT'S NATURAL OR CHEMICALLY ALTERED ! that is probable the hardest thing anyone can do
  • mozekemozeke Registered Users Posts: 480
    You ladies are cracking me up this morning. This is exactly what I needed to read.
    Last relaxer: 12/10/07
    BC date: 5/2/08
    It's your hair...do what you wanna do
  • MsladiiMsladii Registered Users Posts: 442
    Man... I really thought I was alone on this one... I've been putting my hair up lately and HE'S been annoyed!

    You girls really helped me appreciate him loving my hair though.. thanks!!!
    PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IT WILL BE ABOUT NATURAL HAIR CARE / STYLES / TUTORIALS AND COSMETICS I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK AND SUPPORT
    http://www.youtube.com/user/simplycliche

    "Shrinkage is only your hair trying to get closer to you...embrace it."
    O, medium/course, spongy, mass of beautiful curly hair

    event.png

    pswd rawks

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