When does forgiveness make you a fool?

When does forgiving somebody and trying to rebuild a friendship make you noble, big-hearted, whatever -- and when does it make you foolish for rewarding bad behavior? The anger hasn't completely subsided, but I am ready to move on. I'm just not sure whether being the better person means forgiving or forgetting his existence.
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Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean trying to rebuild a friendship. Some relationships should not be rebuilt. If you reasonably expect that this person will hurt you again, you can forgive and let go, but not put yourself in a position to be hurt again. If that means forgetting about his exsistence, so be it.
You used the terms noble and big-hearted. Something about the way you used them make me think that it is more about looking noble and big-hearted on the outside or being able to say to yourself "I was noble and big hearted" than it is about really feeling it. If you don't really feel any internal reasons to rebuild the realtionship then don't bother.
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geeky, A++, gold star, very well-said!
i think forgiveness makes you a fool when you know the other person really isnt sorry and you know they will do the same thing again.
I didn't read that into this. The use of "whatever" seems to imply A.I.'s skepticism of the term, imo.
Let your feelings be a good barometer. If you are angry and you feel "obligated" to forgive, then you're being a fool. If you feel good about forgiving looking forward to a fresh start, then it's a good thing. Of course, on both occasions you're going to be angry about whatever it is that they did...but I mean the very act of forgiving them. If you find yourself struggling with it, ask yourself "is this person really sorry? is it worth taking a chance? what will you do if he/she does it again?" If you feel positive about these questions, then it's a good thing. If you feel negative and angrier, then it's a bad thing.
I'm assuming you mean "forgive" as in forgive and forget and move on in the relationship. You can forgive someone in the sense that you wish no ill feelings towards them, but you still don't trust them, and you move on without them.
A relationship should benefit both people and ultimately help them grow as persons...if it doesn't do so, then it's not healthy and you probably need to move on. That's my two cents.
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Forgiveness doesn't imply rebuilding a relationship. Forgiveness releases you, not them.
That is exactly the way I see it.
Your entire post is just excellent, Amanda.
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Thus far have mostly been avoiding him, which means joint custody of mutual friends, which is not fair to them and pretty awkward all around. Wondering if making a sincere effort to rebuild friendship sans relationship is a good idea. Every time I think I'm ready, I remember that he thought a night with some skank was better than the support and companionship I provided, and I'm like ewwww, how am I supposed to be friends with someone like that? Cue more avoidance and awkwardness and friends taking turns with which of us isn't going to get invited to this dinner or that party or that weekend trip.
I don't know where my best friend went and how that body snatcher ended up in his place.
forgiving him doesn't mean you have to be ok with him dating other people. forgiving him doesn't mean that you no longer feel a sting at the thought that he cheated on you.
forgiving him means that you recognize his human shortcomings. forgiving others requires you to realize your own shortcomings and times when others have forgiven you.
forgiving doesn't mean that you don't feel hurt. it doesn't mean that you forget (which is virtually impossible). it means that you won't allow resentment, anger, and grudges to weigh down your heart and rule your life.