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Some stylist she is…

scarlete222scarlete222 Posts: 3Registered Users
I share an apartment with a roommate that is a hair stylist. The thing is that she is always telling me that I should try a relaxer or other treatment to fix my hair texture. She tells me that I don’t look polished with my hair the way it is and that I should care more about my appearance. :-?

I really don’t want to relax my hair because I’m trying to recover my natural curl (that is some mix of 3b and 3c). This week she brought her blow drier and her iron and told me that she would like to see my hair straight. I told her that I didn’t like to straighten my hair and she replied that I was too lazy and should try new hairstyles (by hairstyles she means straight hair, by the way). I know I look totally different with straight hair, but I like my curly hair. :thumbup:

The funny thing is that she has curly hair too, but straightens it. I think she wants me do the same thing she does, but that is just not my cup of tea. If she wants to change her hair texture that’s her business, but I don’t appreciate that kind of comments about my appearance. :angry2:

Comments

  • darcurldarcurl Posts: 586Registered Users
    Yeah I really think she is mostly expressing to you a side of herself, she is also showing her own enthusiasm by telling you about it. There is nothing wrong with two friends showing off their interests by excitedly bantering about themselves. Just draw your line, even by expressing that the both of you live together for now, but there is no reason that either of you should sacrifice your individuality. Umm, post back with further talk.
    2c, CG, soft, managed, curly-From NEPA
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  • scarlete222scarlete222 Posts: 3Registered Users
    You are right. The next time she suggest something like that I should clarify my preferences and let her know that while she is not wrong because she straightens her hair, I’m not wrong either because I want to keep mine natural. Maybe that way she will understand that not every curly hair girl wants to straighten their hair and that curly doesn’t necessarily means unpolished. :glasses1:
  • SeaofCurlsSeaofCurls Posts: 24Registered Users
    Since when did straight hair look more polished? I beg to differ!

    Your roommate sounds like my mother--very annoying. I hate when people give unsolicited hair advice or opinions. What she said was very rude. The next time she brings it up just tell her firmly that you don't want to wear your hair straight and to not bring it up anymore.
    it takes a strong woman to rock natural hair
    Good hair is CLEAN, HEALTHY hair regardless of the length, color, or texture!!
  • tendrillytendrilly Posts: 183Registered Users
    You know, when I read this thread, I was thinking about this idea that 'straight hair is more polished,' and I started thinking about female TV news anchors and weather women, both on local and national news. They ALL have stick-straight hair! :angry7: (Are there any exceptions out there?)

    In TV news, you have to be seen as professional and credible. I'd bet that has something to do with the all the straight hair. And the fact that they all have straight hair perpetuates the notion. What if you are a curly girl who wants to succeed in broadcast journalism? I guess you'd just have to give up your curls and straighten your hair relentlessly... what a shame.
    Dry climate
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  • desert flowerdesert flower Posts: 188Registered Users
    tendrilly wrote: »
    You know, when I read this thread, I was thinking about this idea that 'straight hair is more polished,' and I started thinking about female TV news anchors and weather women, both on local and national news. They ALL have stick-straight hair! :angry7: (Are there any exceptions out there?)

    In TV news, you have to be seen as professional and credible. I'd bet that has something to do with the all the straight hair. And the fact that they all have straight hair perpetuates the notion. What if you are a curly girl who wants to succeed in broadcast journalism? I guess you'd just have to give up your curls and straighten your hair relentlessly... what a shame.


    My friend who started out in this field and is a major curly girl, was told that her "beautiful curls" were too much of a distraction and that straight hair was "plain" and did not "receive any attention on its own."

    What do you all think?? Was this person just being diplomatic and / or shady or is there something to it? Is our hair so "beautiful and distracting" (can't say I would mind being described in that way...) that it would take the focus off of the news??
  • darcurldarcurl Posts: 586Registered Users
    thats a big 10-4. Curly hair is so distracting it can make the observer feel compelled to pour their attention onto it, medusa like. Also if greek mythology was written in hypothetical stories that drew metaphors to reality, if it was, then what would that say about the ancient greeks view of curly hair, remember, they had drama and comedy in their scripts, different angle than today. So don't be sad if medusa get slain.
    2c, CG, soft, managed, curly-From NEPA
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  • KinkyKeeperKinkyKeeper Posts: 963Registered Users
    I share an apartment with a roommate that is a hair stylist. The thing is that she is always telling me that I should try a relaxer or other treatment to fix my hair texture. She tells me that I don’t look polished with my hair the way it is and that I should care more about my appearance. :-?

    I really don’t want to relax my hair because I’m trying to recover my natural curl (that is some mix of 3b and 3c). This week she brought her blow drier and her iron and told me that she would like to see my hair straight. I told her that I didn’t like to straighten my hair and she replied that I was too lazy and should try new hairstyles (by hairstyles she means straight hair, by the way). I know I look totally different with straight hair, but I like my curly hair. :thumbup:

    The funny thing is that she has curly hair too, but straightens it. I think she wants me do the same thing she does, but that is just not my cup of tea. If she wants to change her hair texture that’s her business, but I don’t appreciate that kind of comments about my appearance. :angry2:

    Sounds like she is trying to impose her own curly hatred on you. A lot of the times I notice it's the people who are in curl denial themselves who are have the biggest problem with my hair. She definitely has some ingrained problems with curly hair and when she looks at your hair she can't appreciate the curls for what they are. And honestly, that sounds exactly like something a stylist would say. Most hair stylists I have met are not concerned with the health of hair, they are concerned with the style of hair. And their job would be obsolete if everyone like how their hair looked naturally. She is looking out for her best interest kind of like cigarette companies, get you addicted. You could be a potential csource of revenue for many years (until your hair can't take anymore that is) who could come to depend on her for a flat iron/blow out/relaxer session up to every 2-8 weeks. If she succeeds in making you feel your hair is not pretty, polished, suitable as it is that's just more $$$ for her or her industry.

    Hopefully you don't cave, make it very clear to her that if she doesn't like your hair, it's a good thing it's not her hair. And that her comments make you uncomfortable you like your hair just as it is. The sad part is there is a curly out there who is going to fall for this, she is going out into the world of hair salons and will probably straighten all her curly clients instead of helping them to embrace their curls.
  • Hakim NuraldinHakim Nuraldin Posts: 1,467Registered Users
    tendrilly wrote: »
    You know, when I read this thread, I was thinking about this idea that 'straight hair is more polished,' and I started thinking about female TV news anchors and weather women, both on local and national news. They ALL have stick-straight hair! :angry7: (Are there any exceptions out there?)

    In TV news, you have to be seen as professional and credible. I'd bet that has something to do with the all the straight hair. And the fact that they all have straight hair perpetuates the notion. What if you are a curly girl who wants to succeed in broadcast journalism? I guess you'd just have to give up your curls and straighten your hair relentlessly... what a shame.


    My friend who started out in this field and is a major curly girl, was told that her "beautiful curls" were too much of a distraction and that straight hair was "plain" and did not "receive any attention on its own."

    What do you all think?? Was this person just being diplomatic and / or shady or is there something to it? Is our hair so "beautiful and distracting" (can't say I would mind being described in that way...) that it would take the focus off of the news??


    If a was a news anchor, I would have to have an "anchor wig". There's no way I would straighten my hair. It would be funny if her friend wore an "anchor wig", and whipped it off between takes and shook out the curls..LOL At least to me it would be..
    "Back to you Bob".
  • KinkyKeeperKinkyKeeper Posts: 963Registered Users
    tendrilly wrote: »
    You know, when I read this thread, I was thinking about this idea that 'straight hair is more polished,' and I started thinking about female TV news anchors and weather women, both on local and national news. They ALL have stick-straight hair! :angry7: (Are there any exceptions out there?)

    In TV news, you have to be seen as professional and credible. I'd bet that has something to do with the all the straight hair. And the fact that they all have straight hair perpetuates the notion. What if you are a curly girl who wants to succeed in broadcast journalism? I guess you'd just have to give up your curls and straighten your hair relentlessly... what a shame.


    My friend who started out in this field and is a major curly girl, was told that her "beautiful curls" were too much of a distraction and that straight hair was "plain" and did not "receive any attention on its own."

    What do you all think?? Was this person just being diplomatic and / or shady or is there something to it? Is our hair so "beautiful and distracting" (can't say I would mind being described in that way...) that it would take the focus off of the news??

    I have heard there are people on TV say they were told to straighten becuase curly hair does not reflect light well. But honestly you could say the same thing about certain skin colors but they still manage to put all shades of skin on TV (now). In my opinion, that's just an excuse, even if it's true there are ways around it. There are neat pulled back curly styles, braids, twists, etc. It's more a prejudice against curly hair and they latched onto a convenient excuse. Nothing that belongs to someone naturally should be told it's not suitable (skin color, hair texture, hair color) and if it is, there are deeper reasons than the lighting situation.

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/celebrities/new-york-event-to-celebrate-black-hair

    Tolliver will read from her upcoming memoir, “Accidental Anchorwoman: Chance, Choice, Change.” Tolliver stopped relaxing her hair 38 years ago while working as a reporter for WABC-TV. Her new afro was deemed unsuitable and she was told she’d either have to straighten it or cover it up while on assignment for the White House wedding of President Nixon’s daughter, Tricia. When she failed to comply, she was banned from the news studio set until supportive viewers demanded her reinstatement.
  • darcurldarcurl Posts: 586Registered Users
    Gosh I think when I walk past certain stylist studios, and I see there fabu stylish angled bob and highlighted cuts, but i always see them giving them same old plain cuts to the people going in to pay for something new.

    It is so fascist, they take the peoples desires, these stylists, and then disregard their clients wishes, and do not give them anything daring or new or even fashionable, they give them plain boring looks, so once it grows in, the poor client thinks, "oh no my hair is acting up again, I need to go try to get this fixed".

    Sick. I've been there. Makes me hurl.:pukeright:
    2c, CG, soft, managed, curly-From NEPA
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  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    tendrilly wrote: »
    You know, when I read this thread, I was thinking about this idea that 'straight hair is more polished,' and I started thinking about female TV news anchors and weather women, both on local and national news. They ALL have stick-straight hair! :angry7: (Are there any exceptions out there?)

    In TV news, you have to be seen as professional and credible. I'd bet that has something to do with the all the straight hair. And the fact that they all have straight hair perpetuates the notion. What if you are a curly girl who wants to succeed in broadcast journalism? I guess you'd just have to give up your curls and straighten your hair relentlessly... what a shame.


    My friend who started out in this field and is a major curly girl, was told that her "beautiful curls" were too much of a distraction and that straight hair was "plain" and did not "receive any attention on its own."

    What do you all think?? Was this person just being diplomatic and / or shady or is there something to it? Is our hair so "beautiful and distracting" (can't say I would mind being described in that way...) that it would take the focus off of the news??


    If a was a news anchor, I would have to have an "anchor wig". There's no way I would straighten my hair. It would be funny if her friend wore an "anchor wig", and whipped it off between takes and shook out the curls..LOL At least to me it would be..
    "Back to you Bob".

    OMG. An anchor wig- that's freakin' awesome. HA!!!!! That's going to have me laughing to myself for the rest of the day... :laughing2:
    Brooklyn, NY

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  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Posts: 2,573Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'd be tempted to tell her you're ahead of the curve and she's behind it.<WEG>

    Any time stick straight hair is "in," it's about to be "out." They can only milk this thing so long. When they figure out that everyone who's going to cave and buy a straightening iron has done so, and that everyone who's been talked into "wanting" straightening serums has bottles of it coming out the wahzoo, they'll turn on a dime, and start pushing curls. (And your roommate isn't going to know how to do them or to deal with them if she's that deep in curl denial.)

    I don't get how straight is a style, though. It's the absence of, well, any sort of visual interest. An "artist" who drew nothing but straight lines would be able to design lined notebook paper. Curls on the other hand have infinite variety, and are visually captivating.
    Peace,
    Morgan

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  • scarlete222scarlete222 Posts: 3Registered Users
    Thank you all for your replies; I needed to get it out of my system.:laughing2: By the way, I’m going to start the CG method this week! I want my curls to be healthy and beautiful. :cheers:
  • mixededmixeded Posts: 381Registered Users
    tendrilly wrote: »
    You know, when I read this thread, I was thinking about this idea that 'straight hair is more polished,' and I started thinking about female TV news anchors and weather women, both on local and national news. They ALL have stick-straight hair! :angry7: (Are there any exceptions out there?)

    In TV news, you have to be seen as professional and credible. I'd bet that has something to do with the all the straight hair. And the fact that they all have straight hair perpetuates the notion. What if you are a curly girl who wants to succeed in broadcast journalism? I guess you'd just have to give up your curls and straighten your hair relentlessly... what a shame.

    amy-holmes-715870.JPG
    Amy Holmes.
    She's the first one that came to mind when thinking of curls and anchors and tv.
    :duckie: Fotki!
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    Jan. 2009
  • BakaNekoBakaNeko Posts: 21Registered Users
    I'd be tempted to tell her you're ahead of the curve and she's behind it.<WEG>

    Any time stick straight hair is "in," it's about to be "out." They can only milk this thing so long. When they figure out that everyone who's going to cave and buy a straightening iron has done so, and that everyone who's been talked into "wanting" straightening serums has bottles of it coming out the wahzoo, they'll turn on a dime, and start pushing curls. (And your roommate isn't going to know how to do them or to deal with them if she's that deep in curl denial.)

    I don't get how straight is a style, though. It's the absence of, well, any sort of visual interest. An "artist" who drew nothing but straight lines would be able to design lined notebook paper. Curls on the other hand have infinite variety, and are visually captivating.

    Funny, after reading this I thought of all my glossy fashion mags from this past month, all saying curls are "so big" right now. Of course, most of them show obviously straight hair which has been curled/rollered but still...they're on the curly pendulum again.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Whoa, when I read this thread I identified with so many comments. I am sooooooooo tired of the current mind set that everyone must have stick-straight hair, and the notion that it is neater looking, more professional looking, more polished, more acceptable at work....blah blah blah.:blah5: My goodness, if you have a total of 3 hairs on your head that are curly, someone is right there to suggest that you flat iron those 3 "frizzy" strands and then suggest what serum you might try to calm your hair down.:sign5:

    Don't get me wrong, I have my hair blown out occasionally, and I like the option of wearing my hair either way, curly or straight, and I think everyone should wear their hair however they like, but puleeeeeeeez, it seems like society is scared :eek: of big hair, of curly hair, of frizz, of anything that is not "sleek and smooth".

    By all straightee standards, I would be considered to be having a "scary" hair day, and although no one at my job has said a word, some people look at me like I have two heads!

    My co-workers, as well as their teenage daughters, are obsessed with stick-straight hair. To which I just wanna :puker::puker::puker::puker::puker: There, I feel so much better, I just had to get that off my chest.

    I love my curls, even when they totally misbehave, and I feel sorry for all these women that look like store mannequins. In fact, some women that flat iron their hair all the time will occasionally have a day when they don't have time for the ritual and come in with wavy hair. If you tell that woman that her hair looks great, she will say "eeew, I feel so disgusting and messy". That's how brainwashed people are becoming.

    Sorry, didn't mean to go on and on and on, but this has been building up inside of me.:angry4:
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I sure she means well, but I would tell her you are perfectly happy with your hair and don't need unsolicited advice. And if you ever do decide to go straight, she's the first person you'll come to.
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  • desert flowerdesert flower Posts: 188Registered Users
    I totally feel your pain! I was at a conference for work recently. I work remotely and don't often see my coworkers more than a handful of times each quarter so I never really know what people's natural hair is like. After a very late work dinner and too much fun one night, we had an early breakfast meeting. Everyone's hair was slicked back into ponytails. I was shocked to see that almost all the straighties were really wavies/curlies! Seriously, they all looked great with their natural curls but you would have never known it. Their natural hair was their "messy, woke up too late hair."

    One of the Vice Presidents - a woman who always wears her hair curly (she has an amazing head of jet black almost waist-length 3b curls) laughed at all of them and said, "So you guys must think that I always wake up late and am very lazy!"

    When I told my husband about this, he commented that the Vice President had better things to do than spend hours in the bathroom with a "torture device." He is the biggest supporter of my transition from Japanese straightened hair to my natural curls...mainly because he remembers the good old days of me getting ready pretty quickly and my hair not stopping workouts or beach trips...
    unpoof wrote: »
    Whoa, when I read this thread I identified with so many comments. I am sooooooooo tired of the current mind set that everyone must have stick-straight hair, and the notion that it is neater looking, more professional looking, more polished, more acceptable at work....blah blah blah.:blah5: My goodness, if you have a total of 3 hairs on your head that are curly, someone is right there to suggest that you flat iron those 3 "frizzy" strands and then suggest what serum you might try to calm your hair down.:sign5:

    Don't get me wrong, I have my hair blown out occasionally, and I like the option of wearing my hair either way, curly or straight, and I think everyone should wear their hair however they like, but puleeeeeeeez, it seems like society is scared :eek: of big hair, of curly hair, of frizz, of anything that is not "sleek and smooth".

    By all straightee standards, I would be considered to be having a "scary" hair day, and although no one at my job has said a word, some people look at me like I have two heads!

    My co-workers, as well as their teenage daughters, are obsessed with stick-straight hair. To which I just wanna :puker::puker::puker::puker::puker: There, I feel so much better, I just had to get that off my chest.

    I love my curls, even when they totally misbehave, and I feel sorry for all these women that look like store mannequins. In fact, some women that flat iron their hair all the time will occasionally have a day when they don't have time for the ritual and come in with wavy hair. If you tell that woman that her hair looks great, she will say "eeew, I feel so disgusting and messy". That's how brainwashed people are becoming.

    Sorry, didn't mean to go on and on and on, but this has been building up inside of me.:angry4:
  • marinacurlzmarinacurlz Posts: 1,720Registered Users
    "fix my hair texture"


    Fix it!? What's wrong with it!? I mean sheesh, that is really forward, not to mention RUUUUDE! I'd love to have that texture!
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