curly stranger at the drug store

auroramonroeauroramonroe Posts: 40Registered Users
i was at the drug store today when i saw a girl who had pretty curls that looked like she wasnt quite sure how to take care of, asking about hair straighteners. SO i kinda interjected a little and told her about nc.com and nicely said she had pretty hair and that she might want to consider looking into a way to take care of her curls instead of ruining them with heat damage. (i must mention that i had third day hair in a pony tail and it wasnt looking its best not bad for third day hair though) And she kinda gave me this look like your not a very good example of what curly hair should look like. She politely thanked me then went ahead and bought the straightener, i kinda felt like an ass though. was I in the wrong to try and help a stranger?? Or am i reading WAY to much into this??
3c mostly, some 3a/b on top from damage, some 4a kinkies in the back
FRIZZY
fine, medium volume
product junkie
gave up my pureology conditioner :(
cowash with suave naturals
loo poo with abba gentle shampoo for colour treated hair
leave in sweet almond oil, suave coconut condit, g direct leave in,
too many products too name!!! currently really liking down under naturals spray gel and life brand honey pomade

http://public.fotki.com/auroramonroe/
pw: ravencurls

Comments

  • may1787may1787 Posts: 113Registered Users
    No, I think you did a good thing. You really can't change people though unless they want to be changed. It is like telling an overweight person that they need to lose weight. Unless they have an urge to do it of their own free will, it ain't gonna happen!
    No-'poo since 28 Apr 09!
    2c/3a, fine to medium texture, low to medium porosity, normal elasticity, medium density.

    Cleanse: Deva Lo-Poo or Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Condition: Kinky Curly Knot Today or Suave Naturals Coconut
    Stylers: KCCC, BRHG, Moroccan Dry-No-More oil, Mister Right

    NO: bad 'quats, 'cones, 'xanes, drying alcohols, sulfates, or petrochemicals.
  • KinkyKeeperKinkyKeeper Posts: 963Registered Users
    i was at the drug store today when i saw a girl who had pretty curls that looked like she wasnt quite sure how to take care of, asking about hair straighteners. SO i kinda interjected a little and told her about nc.com and nicely said she had pretty hair and that she might want to consider looking into a way to take care of her curls instead of ruining them with heat damage. (i must mention that i had third day hair in a pony tail and it wasnt looking its best not bad for third day hair though) And she kinda gave me this look like your not a very good example of what curly hair should look like. She politely thanked me then went ahead and bought the straightener, i kinda felt like an ass though. was I in the wrong to try and help a stranger?? Or am i reading WAY to much into this??

    You tried your best but even if your hair had looked their best this girl probably would have looked at them like they had cussed her mom out. She's one of the lost ones and won't be saved until she is ready.

    And it might not have been an insult against your hair, many curlies in denial are some of the first to insult curls yes but they are also the first to say "Oooh girl your hair is so cute but my curly hair could never look like that". They just think their hair is impossible and that curly look is "good for some but it's not for me".
  • may1787may1787 Posts: 113Registered Users
    "Oooh girl your hair is so cute but my curly hair could never look like that". They just think their hair is impossible and that curly look is "good for some but it's not for me".

    I ditto this. For a long time I thought I couldn't be curly like my sister after trying tons of curl creating products (and really, I can't because she has 3c curls but I can be curly, just 2c/3a curly!) and then I thought I couldn't be straight haired after using tons of straightening products. I just relegated myself to the frizzy, poofy, jungle-woman look and thought it was what I had to deal with.
    Then, I started to find what worked for me through this site. Perhaps she is just in the straight hair product rut. Once she finds that straight products don't work for her, perhaps she will listen to what you told her. You never know, she may remember your advice in future!
    No-'poo since 28 Apr 09!
    2c/3a, fine to medium texture, low to medium porosity, normal elasticity, medium density.

    Cleanse: Deva Lo-Poo or Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Condition: Kinky Curly Knot Today or Suave Naturals Coconut
    Stylers: KCCC, BRHG, Moroccan Dry-No-More oil, Mister Right

    NO: bad 'quats, 'cones, 'xanes, drying alcohols, sulfates, or petrochemicals.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,008Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Agree with the other posters. I'm always dying to tell curlies who look like they need help about nc.com but I don't because I've found that making suggestions of any kind to strangers is not often well received. There's a funny segment of "Sex and the City" in which Cynthia Nixon tries to be helpful to two women - it backfires. That said, you were very kindly motivated and I wish someone had told me about nc.com and going cg years ago!
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • auroramonroeauroramonroe Posts: 40Registered Users
    thanks lol, now i dont feel like as much of a know it all. i just wanted to be helpful.
    3c mostly, some 3a/b on top from damage, some 4a kinkies in the back
    FRIZZY
    fine, medium volume
    product junkie
    gave up my pureology conditioner :(
    cowash with suave naturals
    loo poo with abba gentle shampoo for colour treated hair
    leave in sweet almond oil, suave coconut condit, g direct leave in,
    too many products too name!!! currently really liking down under naturals spray gel and life brand honey pomade

    http://public.fotki.com/auroramonroe/
    pw: ravencurls
  • viklaneviklane Posts: 54Registered Users
    It also really depends on the age. If this was a girl in high school, she just wants to be like everybody else. I think once you hit your 20s, it's a badge of honor to be different.

    Because I remember being 14 and blowdrying my hair with a brush so often that chunks of it actually fried off in my hands. Ugh. I can't believe I used to do that.
    Hair Type: 3a
    COs
    : Suave Naturals Green Apple. Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine.



    event.png
  • kayemmkay159kayemmkay159 Posts: 171Registered Users
    I think it was the right thing to do. if someone had come up to me and told me about nc.com 5 years ago i would have been super excited that someone actually had helpful information to help me tame my curls.
  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Posts: 1,340Registered Users
    may1787 wrote: »
    "Oooh girl your hair is so cute but my curly hair could never look like that". They just think their hair is impossible and that curly look is "good for some but it's not for me".

    I ditto this. For a long time I thought I couldn't be curly like my sister after trying tons of curl creating products (and really, I can't because she has 3c curls but I can be curly, just 2c/3a curly!) and then I thought I couldn't be straight haired after using tons of straightening products. I just relegated myself to the frizzy, poofy, jungle-woman look and thought it was what I had to deal with.
    Then, I started to find what worked for me through this site. Perhaps she is just in the straight hair product rut. Once she finds that straight products don't work for her, perhaps she will listen to what you told her. You never know, she may remember your advice in future!


    I believe this is the mindset of many curly/wavy haired women. I know it didn't even occur to me that I was a curly. I just assumed that something was wrong with my hair because it wasn't stick straight.
  • mddermmdderm Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hey don't worry about it. I'm sure she took it to heart and was appreciative that you told her that (I know I would be!) However maybe she really just wanted a straightener for a change of looks, just so that she doesn't have to wear her hair curly every single day. I own a straightener even though I straighten my hair like once every 2 months. Plus, I'm sure she visits the site now! Don't feel badly, you had good intentions and thats all that matters :thumbup:
  • may1787may1787 Posts: 113Registered Users
    mdderm wrote: »
    Plus, I'm sure she visits the site now! Don't feel badly, you had good intentions and thats all that matters :thumbup:

    Haha! Wouldn't it be funny if she came across this site. I bet she would feel a bit sheepish. That, or she would think that she didn't really mean to come off that way.
    No-'poo since 28 Apr 09!
    2c/3a, fine to medium texture, low to medium porosity, normal elasticity, medium density.

    Cleanse: Deva Lo-Poo or Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Condition: Kinky Curly Knot Today or Suave Naturals Coconut
    Stylers: KCCC, BRHG, Moroccan Dry-No-More oil, Mister Right

    NO: bad 'quats, 'cones, 'xanes, drying alcohols, sulfates, or petrochemicals.
  • brown_eyedgal20brown_eyedgal20 Posts: 412Registered Users
    Same thing (kinda) happened to me. A lady was in the store trying to find a brush for her daughter. She was telling the sales lady that she is mixed and has really poofy, dry, and knotted hair. I tried to help out a little and suggested a wide tooth comb in the shower...she looked at me like I was an alien.

    Never again...:-?
    2c/3aMiii

    Loving JC and CK products...:) Been loving them for 3 years...looking to branch out and try new things!!!
  • spiralcurl_gurlspiralcurl_gurl Posts: 16Registered Users
    Well, you did a good thing. And even though she didn't follow your advice to not buy the straightener, you never know. She could remember your suggestion later on and still benefit. I think it's better to speak up so you can say that at least you gave it a shot.
    3b, brunette, low porosity,coarse texture, just past shoulders when dry.
    Co-wash and leave-in: Suave naturals ocean breeze
    Styling: La Bella Lots of Curls Styling Gel
    Stats: Looking for more cg friendly styling products, considering getting a picture of hair to post as avatar
  • morrighumorrighu Posts: 707Registered Users
    When I'm on the train, I look around at all the women who are OBVIOUSLY straightening their hair, esp. during the humid weather. You all know the look, that not quite frizzy but not really straight either THING that our hair does. I have to stop myself from standing up in my seat and pointing...

    YOU... and YOU... and YOU OVER THERE HIDING BEHIND THE NEWSPAPER.... STOP TORTURING YOUR HAIR!!!!
  • desert flowerdesert flower Posts: 188Registered Users
    You know, if I had read this a few days ago, I would have agreed with everyone else. However, a couple of days ago, I was at Target and saw a girl with curly hair that was a little frizzy and wild but I thought it was cute.

    So, I just told her that I loved her hair. That's it.

    We got into a conversation about how much she hates it when other curlies come up to her because all they do is give her tips about how to make her hair look better by having more definition, formation, etc...She said it reminded her of her mother, "Your hair is pretty but it would be better if..." We all know this one!

    It made me realize two things:

    1. I have probably given lots of advice with good intentions that others have perceived as nosy, bossy and / or rude.

    2. Some of the annoying advice people give curlies about straightening, etc...probably comes with good intentions. I recognize that it's different because we are encouraging healthy, natural hair as opposed to abusing your hair but they probably don't see it that way!

    Granted, I love all the curly hair tips I can get my hands on but I am the one who harasses people for advice. I am not really sure how receptive I would be - at least at the moment - if someone walked up to me and gave me that advice. I might just be caught off guard and not process it until later.

    For example, I had a random lady at Dunkin' Donuts tell me that my teeth would fall out because I was having a caramel cinnamon coffee with extra cream and extra sugar. She is probably right and she was just looking out for me...maybe...but still, I wanted to bite her or something. :brushteeth:

    Either way, do not feel bad! Even when we don't like advice, we know that most people mean well! I repeat this to myself every time my mom gives me unsolicited advice. I always think that if your intentions are good, it generally ends well!
  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Posts: 2,573Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I suspect that our desire to "help" other people with curly hair springs from our realization that we would have been thrilled to have had anybody give us a clue before we found our way here. Or would we?

    Well, I really wish I'd known about naturallycurly.com as soon as it came into existence. (Unfortunately, I seem to have given up on web searches for information on naturally curly hair just before it came into being, so it took me a long time to stumble upon it.) Would I have liked having a complete stranger come up to me and offer me advice? Not so much.

    I think the person who mentioned telling the girl with the curls that she loved her hair was onto something. Perhaps that's the best opener.

    Another great one is the Curl Ambassador cards you can get from naturallycurly.com. I usually wait until someone says something like that they have curly hair too, but they're always fighting with it, or they don't know what to do with it, or it doesn't look like mine. Then I hand them a card and tell them I learned a lot here, or found it very helpful. I make an exception for straight haired moms of young curlies -- I usually don't wait for an opener, especially if the kid looks like she wields a brush.
    Peace,
    Morgan

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file