Inviting out daycare moms

SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
I am considering asking out the moms at my daughter's daycare for brunch/lunch/dinner, just to get to know everyone and possibly make new friends. There are about five of us (we're at a home daycare) and I've briefly talked to each mother, but we're all usually absorbed with our kids or talking to the sitter - mixed in with little bits of chatter between each other.

Does anyone have any idea on how I could do this? I'm pretty shy, so this would be a very bold move for me! :wav:

Comments

  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    that's a good way to make friends. personally, i'd start off small and just arrange a play date with one mother and her kid(s). then, as you become comfortable hosting, you can add another parent and another, until you've created a circle of friends and kids.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
    rainshower wrote: »
    that's a good way to make friends. personally, i'd start off small and just arrange a play date with one mother and her kid(s). then, as you become comfortable hosting, you can add another parent and another, until you've created a circle of friends and kids.

    But I only want to meet with the moms - no kids. Is that not right?
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    I think you'd be better off starting it as a playdate/playgroup, allowing your friendship with the other moms to develop naturally. It might seem a little odd to them if you invite them out without their kids. If the weather is nice where you are, maybe you can even meet at a park with daddies and kids too (I know a lot of families think of weekend time as family time, so might not want to leave out Dad).
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    It sounds like are looking to make friends with the moms and not just find more things to do, so try for a mom's night out with the understanding that it's just moms. If you're trying to make some girlfriends, I can't really see the point of arranging playdates and dads and all that. I'd be thrilled to find a few friends who were willing to leave the kids at home sometimes and hang out with just grown ups. I'm not sure why your kids would even need play dates if they see each other at daycare all the time.

    A very good excuse would be, "Hey, let's take Ms Daycare Provider out for lunch/brunch/drinks to say thanks!" or something similar. Then you can see if you connect with anyone.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    I thought about that after I posted before - that if you do want to do just moms you could pitch it as a "Moms' Night Out". Maybe even plan a night of snacks and playing cards at your place and then make cute little invitations or something?
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    It sounds like are looking to make friends with the moms and not just find more things to do, so try for a mom's night out with the understanding that it's just moms. If you're trying to make some girlfriends, I can't really see the point of arranging playdates and dads and all that. I'd be thrilled to find a few friends who were willing to leave the kids at home sometimes and hang out with just grown ups. I'm not sure why your kids would even need play dates if they see each other at daycare all the time.

    A very good excuse would be, "Hey, let's take Ms Daycare Provider out for lunch/brunch/drinks to say thanks!" or something similar. Then you can see if you connect with anyone.

    I agree. Plus, when you invite the dads along, that's just more people who have to mesh and connect. I'd keep it simple, without the distraction of kids and husbands. Of course, the question is how to invite these women out. I think offering to take out the daycare provider is a good idea.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    Just wanted to clarify that the only reason I suggested including dads is because I know for a lot of families in which one or both parents work (so all families pretty much), weekend time is precious and some women might be hesitant to go out without their husbands/kids. My sister is a working mom and sometimes feels guilty going out without my nephew on the weekend (not saying she should, just that I know some WOHM's feel this way). And while I SAH, my husband works all week and we really like to spend time as a family on the weekends.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    I'm sure a lot of WOHMs feel that way. My thinking was that a couple of hours to grab some food with some other moms wouldn't put a tremendous drain on family time. Especially if it's not an ongoing occurence and it's to thank the woman who takes good care of their child.

    Maybe a Friday night might make more sense?

    Simba, I'm assuming you work, since you're using daycare. What about women you work with?
  • SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
    I've definitely thought of using the excuse to take out our daycare provider, as a means of getting the moms together.

    I work in the futures and options industry and there aren't many women in my age range, with children around my daughter's age at my job. I am 29 and I'd say about 85% of the women at my company are above 40 with adult children my age. Plus it would be nice to mingle with others outside of my arena.

    I don't know ... maybe I'll forget the whole idea and just increase my activity outside of work/home, which will bring me to meet new people anyway.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    I've definitely thought of using the excuse to take out our daycare provider, as a means of getting the moms together.

    I work in the futures and options industry and there aren't many women in my age range, with children around my daughter's age at my job. I am 29 and I'd say about 85% of the women at my company are above 40 with adult children my age. Plus it would be nice to mingle with others outside of my arena.

    I don't know ... maybe I'll forget the whole idea and just increase my activity outside of work/home, which will bring me to meet new people anyway.

    Don't scrap the whole idea. I think your heart is in the right place. Maybe one of the other moms feels the same way you do? No connections at work and really no time to socialize with women in her cohort group. I'm rethinking the idea of a playdate in your situation. You've got to start somewhere and the kids are a great excuse. Yes, the kids play together at daycare but that doesn't mean you can't nurture friendships outside of daycare. The only potential issue would be the scheduling of such a playdate, when all the moms work.

    My daughter attends preschool 5 days a week, for about 2 1/2 hours. I have had her "best friend," Emma, come over for a playdate. Emma's mom is really nice too. What I've learned over the past 10 years of having kids is that playdates are for the moms too. You get to talk to someone you have something in common with. Sometimes it develops into a real friendship (I met 3 moms through my local library), sometimes it doesn't. But it's worth a try.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    Simba,

    Did you approach the daycare moms? If so, what happened?

    I totally understand about not wanting to be buddy buddy with people from work. Even if you became buddies with someone from work, the conversation usually turns to work. And quite frankly, I see enough of them during the week...
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
    Windflower,

    I brought it up half-heartedly with a couple of the moms and haven't really followed up. ::shrugging my shoulders:: I've honestly lost the energy for getting everyone together; maybe I will revisit the idea another time.

    Thanks for asking though!
  • picklesgirlpicklesgirl Posts: 1,955Registered Users
    I think a mommy's night out sounds like a great idea. We have a mommy and me group that I go to and at Christmas time I hosted a mommy and me christmas party minus our me's. People outside the groupl made a big deal of it being a mommy and ME group but all the ladies in the group were excited to not their me to chase around
    Mm59.jpg.png

    .png



    .png
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Simbakat, I thought about you and this thread today.

    DS's preschool had a "Mother's Day Tea" this morning. The kids brought us in and sang us a few songs, gave us some presents and then the preschool teachers took all the kids out to the playground and left all the Moms alone together to chat and have tea and snacks. It was wonderful! I didn't really know the other Moms other than to say hello at drop-off and pick-up but it was nice to get a chance to talk more. Of course we mostly talked about the kids and picked each others brains about activities and schools and babysitters etc... but still, I really appreciated having some time with the other ladies with no kids (well, no preschoolers, I still had my baby with me).

    So I think your idea is a great one. I hope you get a chance to get the ladies together. One of DH's friends organized a Dad's night for all the Dads of his son's kindergarten class. Of course its always easier for the Dads to get out with each other but he was surprised at how eager the Dads were to get together and they kept it going monthly for the entire school year, sometimes doing activities with the kids but mostly not.

    ETA - just remembered at one of the preschool Moms had a "candle" party with wine and appies (something like a Pampered Chef party) and invited all the Moms. I couldn't go for some reason, but it was a nice idea too.


Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file