So I cried twice this morning....

zanii0506zanii0506 Registered Users Posts: 176
last night i decided to co-wash (using Suave conditioner) and deep condition (lustrasilk shea butter). cool. afterwards i put in shea moisture leave in conditioner...left my hair white. so i rinse lightly. tried to apply shea butter w/ orange essential oil...it laid there like a clump...leaving my hair white.

i rinse again.

i melt the shea butter to see if that helps...wrong!!

rinse again.

i use Fantsaisa IC gel...combing it through small sections...and i don't know what the heck was going on. tried kinky curly too....no better.

i lightly shampoo all this crap out of my hair and take my time w/ the IC combing it through small sections of my hair. i didn't like what was going on...so i did what i know best: i braided my hair...4 corn rows.

i did this hoping for some kind of definition in the morning. WRONG!!! it was a mess...so much so that i had to co-wash this morning (as if i wasn't already running late)

i just cried as i tried to do something with my hair this morning. i do not care for this puffy fro that i have going on. i rocked it this weekend (it had way more curl definition...my friend did my hair w/ some Deva Curl products. i didn't feel right keeping them b/c i can not afford to give her $60 for them at the moment) and after looking in the mirror 100 times, i got used to it.

i'm just not feeling confident right now. i transitioned for almost a year, and i'd hate to give up so soon, but absolutely NOTHING seems to be working for my hair! i've even tried a twist out...and that was a mess too.

this weekend i'm going to try a rod set, and see what results that will yield. in a nut shell i feel like ****.

sorry for the long venting post ladies :(

Comments

  • FleurztyFleurzty Registered Users Posts: 795
    These days happen. It does not mean there's no hope for your hair. You're just having a bad hair day. If you're using products that normally work for you and today they're just sitting there in your hair and you know you're doing absolutely all there is to do then let your hair have her temper, she'll come around. I had one of those days on Saturday. I pre-washed, washed, Amlaed, deep conditioned, tea rinsed, and styled, and my hair dried so 'not right'. I tried to fix the curls but nothing worked and I ended up wearing a ponytail Sat. evening and Sunday morningangry9:. Plus I was making videos of the entire ordeal, so it took twice as long. I too wanted to shed a tear at the end of it all lol

    Try clarifying your hair next time. Is it possible that you have some product buildup?
  • BrandycatBrandycat Registered Users Posts: 126
    Vent away girl! That's always allowed here. So sorry you had such a hard time. Shea butter leaves my hair white too when I apply it on wet hair. It sits on top of the water. I just have to let it absorb overnight. Maybe you could try a water based condish that won't leave a white coating. People are having lots of luck with Herbal Essences..uh...hydra-something and Lustrasilk Shea Cholesterol. Just do a quick search and I know you'll find it. HE is everywhere and LS is at most beauty supply stores, even sallys & they're both really cheap.

    Don't give up on your twists. It takes time to get the hang of it. Youtube has lots of tutorials.
    3 years natural
    Keeping it simple & economical
    Shea Moisture Shampoo
    Shea Moisture Condish
    Qhemet Karkady Tea Mist
  • natstarnatstar Registered Users Posts: 63
    Zanii- It will be alright-just give it time. Fleurtzy made a good point about clarifying and just starting fresh. I have had times where I felt super frustrated with my hair cause it wasn't acting right-at the times I really needed it to.

    As time goes on it will get better. Your knowledge level of works and doesn't work for your hair will increase. For now- stick with what u know works and at times feel free to experiment with products and styles. Simplicity is key- (Im still learning this one)
  • springyheadspringyhead Registered Users Posts: 350
    You know, there's something about that "almost a year" mark that seems to drive folks crazy. Or, at least it did for me last year. It's like, in the beginning it's cool. your new growth or twa is short, and looks cute fuzzy plus it seems like products help "define" it. But as time goes on, it looks like your hair isn't growing...at all. And then, around month 9 or 10, maybe 11, your hair is too long to be a twa, too short to pull back or do anything with it, and has become very finicky/picky, about products and doesn't seem to work anymore. Styling is a hassle and you look in the mirror often and you're like "yikes, I can't take it anymore!"

    Stop right there. Don't make any sudden moves with the relaxer or flat iron (my big mistake); don't go product crazy. The truth is that your hair is beginning to come into it's own. Try not to fight it, or do anything drastic or damaging to your hair. Concentrate on conditioning it and moisturizing it instead of defining it (for whatever reason, my hair did not define well between 8-10 months, but began clumping better after a year...no explanation why). Your hair might be experiencing styling overload. Or overload of wrong products. It happens, trust.

    This is a time of exploration and patience galore. You might want to gently shampoo/clarify your hair to get the products out, and start anew. If suave hasn't worked for you, try try again...I recently found Herbal Essences Hello Hydration a cheap great. Everyone's hair doesn't absorb shea well, either. Maybe try an oil, or water based butter. If you like something heavy, my personal hg is CG Mimosa Hair honey. Great "grease".

    Its trial and error time. At the end of the day you're still not happy, you can pull it back in puff, do protective styles like twists, or braids, even extensions/weaves until your hair grows out more t your liking. Bottom line, there are many options out there that are much healthier for your hair than chemicals. I was in your shoes fairly recently, and I'm sure you've read this before but let me repeat: Trust me, it gets better, especially after you get to know your hair, what it likes to do and what it doesn't. My hair and i were enemies at the "almost year" mark. After year two, we're friends, and I'm hoping at the end of year 3, we'll be bffs. lol.
    4a, fine coils. low/med porosity. "It's springy. Like a slinky."--My Lil' Cousin

    I use products on 90% dry hair.
    Wash: Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castille Soap.
    Conditioner: Tigi Bedhead Moisture Maniac/Suave Humectants
    Moisturizers: Long Aid
    Styler: Ecostyler Clear/ Vitamin E Oil
  • mzmillionmzmillion Registered Users Posts: 874
    Wooo girl,
    Don't be too upset, a beautiful curly here told me a secret "try it and if it doesn't work, wash and try something different" and that motto has really helped me. the LS and shea always has my wet hair white but when it dries, its clear...don't worry sweetie. If you think you have build up, get a tiny bit of ACV and mix it with water and rinse through your hair, it will let you start from scratch. My favorite gel is QP FLS liquid gel and you can use that to do your cornrows(try 6 or 8) and just let it sit overnight.

    It's rough when you do something and the results are even close to what you hoped for but I've learned to accept that, try it again with something different and so on. I'm have not learned what my hair likes yet except the shea and QP but I keep trying everyday because when you do find that one thing that looks good, it will motivate you to try something else and something else. You can check my fotki and see my struggle with my own hair.
    4a/b hair that fro's more than curls!
    Co-Wash: Tressemme', HE, Avon
    Leave In: SM Shea Butter Conditioner. SMCH Smoothie
    Deep Treat: Avon AT Masks, Henna, Amla, Avanti
    Stylers: Aloe Vera Butter, Eco Styler on dry hair, SM products
    My Fotki - 1/22
    My Twitter
    My Youtube


  • zanii0506zanii0506 Registered Users Posts: 176
    i just went out and bought the follwing products:

    herbal essences hydralicious reconditioning conditioner (it was on sale for $3.99)

    giovanni hydrating-clarifying shampoo

    hollywood beauty tea tree oil (soybean oil, tea tree oil, safflower oil, vitamin e, carrot extract, aloe vera extract, rose hips oil, peanut oil, sweet almond oil, methylparaben, butylparaben)

    i'm gonna try these tonight, as well as letting the tea tree oil absorb overnight. i think in another thread someone suggested adding oil to your spray bottle water or even to your conditioner...i'll that too. i'm going to take stock tonight and post some items to sell on the Swap Board...
  • KitathenaKitathena Registered Users Posts: 1,666 Curl Neophyte
    Aww, big cyber hugs to you!!

    Don't despair, don't' give up. I know it's the most frustrating thing in the world when you have a plan, try it out, and it just totally doesn't work out.

    Your post brought back many memories of frustration for me. You will get it and find your hair's own groove. Shea butter has never worked for me on wash n go's, but I love it for twists/twistouts.

    For the twist out...maybe you can try different sized twists? Try them on dry hair as opposed to wet?

    Try variations here and there, and when/if things don't work out and you get frustrated, put your hair in twists, braids, wig, whatever, to give both you and your hair a rest.

    Good luck and keep your head up.
    00f0fe4a-6e80-4412-94d4-a8bc465cb7ae_zps1be28d8c.jpg?t=1377261778
    My blogs: NewlyNatural.com
    My fotki pw:hair
  • zanii0506zanii0506 Registered Users Posts: 176
    @MzMillion...i looked through your Fotki and my hair texture seems similar to yours!

    i like your hair and it comes out sooooo nice! i have rod set rollers...but i'm gonna try that on satruday when i have the time to spare.

    my hair isn't as long as yours..i'd like to dry the flat twists...but i was just cutting it w/ the corn rolls.

    *starting to feel better*

    p.s. i looked for the QP styling gel last week...and i didn't know it came in a bottle! i was looking at all the gels in the jar...so i ended up w/ IC instead
  • HappyNappyEHappyNappyE Registered Users Posts: 108
    I agree with the ladies that recommend clarifying. Just start from scratch. Don't worry, we've ALL gone through the bad days but I'm sure the good ones will outshine them all! On those work days when you're pressed for time, have a wig or ponytail handy and deal with your hair later. I wish you the best in your journey and know that the bad hair days are a test of your strength along this natural journey. Luckily you have beautiful ladies here with open arms and support! :)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    *No heat until July 9, 2009(my bday)!* SL Challenge :colors:
    ~shea butta baby~
    :sad9:I'm such a PJ!
    :sunny: Haute & Natural blog
  • zanii0506zanii0506 Registered Users Posts: 176
    thanks girlie!!!

    i was so tempted to put on my wig this morning!!! i even thought about braids too...but i'm trying to do this journey all the way through. i want to be able to inspire others, ya know? i just met w/ an old friend from high school on satruday and i refered her to this board to help her get started. she actually kept complimenting my hair as we ate breakfast.

    i just need to see what everyone else sees and be patient!!

    i will definitely try the twists on dry hair next time...the wet twist came out better than the wet braids. so i'll stick w/ the twists.
    Kitathena wrote: »
    Aww, big cyber hugs to you!!

    Don't despair, don't' give up. I know it's the most frustrating thing in the world when you have a plan, try it out, and it just totally doesn't work out.

    Your post brought back many memories of frustration for me. You will get it and find your hair's own groove. Shea butter has never worked for me on wash n go's, but I love it for twists/twistouts.

    For the twist out...maybe you can try different sized twists? Try them on dry hair as opposed to wet?

    Try variations here and there, and when/if things don't work out and you get frustrated, put your hair in twists, braids, wig, whatever, to give both you and your hair a rest.

    Good luck and keep your head up.
  • shawnetteshawnette Registered Users Posts: 482 Curl Neophyte
    It's possible that like mine, your hair just looks like crap with a braid out. I've been natural for almost 12 years and have never EVER had a nice braidout. They always look like garbage. I've been braiding since I was 3 or 4, so it's definitely not due to lack of skill, lol! My 'theory' is that my hair coils naturally and braids interupt/change the coil into a more zigzag whereas twists work with the coil so I get much better results with twists.

    I'll stick with twists. (I always do them on wet or damp hair.)
  • zanii0506zanii0506 Registered Users Posts: 176
    LOL!! my thoughts exactly...i can braid very well...so why did my hair look like crap?? i never liked braid outs to much, even on my relaxed hair.

    twists it is....
    shawnette wrote: »
    It's possible that like mine, your hair just looks like crap with a braid out. I've been natural for almost 12 years and have never EVER had a nice braidout. They always look like garbage. I've been braiding since I was 3 or 4, so it's definitely not due to lack of skill, lol! My 'theory' is that my hair coils naturally and braids interupt/change the coil into a more zigzag whereas twists work with the coil so I get much better results with twists.

    I'll stick with twists. (I always do them on wet or damp hair.)
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Registered Users Posts: 15,402 Curl Neophyte
    Zani, sorry you are having woes. Can you post a photo?

    I find I have to use a lighter leave in before Sheamoisture becasue it's pretty heavy. Even if you left in some of the Suave, then raked in a small ribbon of SMSB, that would be better. Shea butter -- what can I say? Only way I can get it on wet hair is if I emusify a pea-sized amount in my palms and scrunch it on my ends. That's all my hair can take. I have the same issues with Lustrasilk; I have to put a lighter leave-in conditioner on my hair and then just a little bit of Lustrasilk almost like a glaze. Also keep in mind that IC Fantasia is known to be very picky about mixing with other products.

    Sometimes heavy products and/or heavy application are not the answer. Try raking the Suave (a lot) as your major leave in, then a little SMSB or a little Lustrasilk. Let that sit and try an aloevera based gel (Giovanni LA Naturals is good). Eco styler gel is a heavier hold gel that gets raves from 4's but for me it's volume reducing so I can't use it.
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • curlykyecurlykye Registered Users Posts: 430
    I was right there with you girl this weekend. I applied and re-applied products, my husband thought I was having a nervous breakdown! :happy6::laughing3::blob3::mad:

    So you know what I did, I washed my hair again, applied some KBB hair milk and Qhemets Amla & Olive cream, braided it up and called it a night.

    I hopped on the board and vented and my hair board sistahs came to the rescue. Stopped me from doing something drastic for real!

    Good luck with everything. And just remember, relaxed-heads have bad hair days too.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Last Relaxer: December 2007
    Last Chop of Relaxed Ends/Officially 100% Natural: April 19, 2009


    http://public.fotki.com/CurlyKye/

    Join me at www.sparkpeople.com (If you look for me, I'm "KyeIsGettingFit")
  • mzmillionmzmillion Registered Users Posts: 874
    ^^^ thats why this board is a godsend, because when I came here crying literally, I have already bought the texturizer for my hair but the curlies here convinced me to stick around and try some different things (like right now I am attempting to plop/clump my hair..I know it will be disaster). I love playing in my hair and zanii believe me when I tell you girly, I was and still am there with you on most days. It helps when you look at others hair who you feel might have the same characteristics as yours and see that they have some control and you can draw inspiration from that.

    When I learned how to flat twist, it saved me more from doing something drastic, b/c the two strand twists don't work on me. I haven't tried a cornroll style b/c I can't cornroll...lol. You might want to get a fotki too, because I love updating mine. I update mine like every day...with new pictures...I'm obsessed with seeing my hair change.
    4a/b hair that fro's more than curls!
    Co-Wash: Tressemme', HE, Avon
    Leave In: SM Shea Butter Conditioner. SMCH Smoothie
    Deep Treat: Avon AT Masks, Henna, Amla, Avanti
    Stylers: Aloe Vera Butter, Eco Styler on dry hair, SM products
    My Fotki - 1/22
    My Twitter
    My Youtube


Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file