I Hate My Hair!!!! Help Puhlease!!!!!!!!

ChallahBackChallahBack Posts: 80Registered Users
I BC'd about a month ago and now i have kind of a twa (its too long to be short but too short to be long ) I'm frustrated because i have pretty good curl definition when soaked in conditioner but when i wash it out only the back stays curly the front just looks like a frizzy fro :pain10: I've been getting comments about my hair and at first i was excited but now im just depressed btw i think im a 3c/4a with 3 c in the front

Transitioning from fitting in to standing Out ......

DON't mIND ME I havE AN AdvancEd case of CapS LOck DIharreA


  • mixededmixeded Posts: 381Registered Users
    Congrats on your BC!!! That's a big step.

    Are you following the CG method? Are you using a leave-in and/or gel after you rinse the conditioner out?
    You might want to try leaving the conditioner in your hair to see if that helps with definition (and moisture). Frizz usually develops as a result of touching the hair while it's drying, so make sure you keep your hands out of your hair while it dries.
    :duckie: Fotki!
    Last relaxer: Feb. 2008
    Big Chop:
    Jan. 2009
  • ChallahBackChallahBack Posts: 80Registered Users
    thank you for repying i put some suave coconut conditioner and some lustrasilk (the mango kind) and the i ran some garnier fructis curl scrunch gel( used before and really brought out my curls in the back now im waiting for it to dry to see how much sshrinkage and and curl loss im going to get i am a guilty of touching wet hair though thanks for the tip

    Transitioning from fitting in to standing Out ......

    DON't mIND ME I havE AN AdvancEd case of CapS LOck DIharreA
  • danrobin0313danrobin0313 Posts: 186Registered Users
    Hello Challahback... again congrats on the BC!

    I promise.. it gets better! I felt the same as you did 8 months ago and really it was about trial and error for me because no one method is always going to work for everyone's hair.

    A few tips:

    From what you posted about your routine it seems like your hair may be lacking in the moisture department. How often do you do Deep Treatments? What do you use. Moisture is vital in curl definition. A lot of people rave about the Lustrasilk you use for styling as a DT also.

    Try to incorporate sealing. Using an oil (castor, olive, morocan, grapeseed etc) to "lock" in the water and/or a leave-in you have on hair is vital.

    Check out the LOIS system. Not only is the size of your curl important but I've found the texture is even more important. I have medium texture hair in the back that does well with almost any product but I have fine hair on my canopy which needs super duper protein treatments, less conditioning and baking soda to control porosity.

    In order to encourage curl definition try Terry's method of smoothing/twirling small sections of hair around your finger. She does her method with conditioner but I use a glycerin based gel(fantasia IC, long-aid activator gel) or [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]KCCC[/buylink].

    The method you use for product application is important too. I love to shingle my hair when I want my hair to "hang". I don't use Miss Jessie's products though.. not that I'm discouraging anyone from using them either ..http://www.missjessies.com/styling.html

    Okay.. so I've ran my mouth so to speak, lol. In this journey knowledge is power (i.e. good hair days). Also check out youtube... search for different hair types and watch to your heart's content!

    HTH. :thumbright:



    Falling in love more and more each day with my natural hair :love4:

    Current rotation: Shescentit anything, Qhemet Burdock Root Buttercream, Castor Oil, Olive Oil, Hairveda Whipped Jelly, Aussie Moist and Aussie Gels

    Stats: Grazing APL, Dense, Medium Strands, 3c-4a curls
  • ChallahBackChallahBack Posts: 80Registered Users
    OMG i love your hair !!! im still alittle foggy about the whole sealing thing but i will also look into using lustrasilk as a dt and i think my hair could use more moisture ( im a student so im saving up for my [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]kccc[/buylink]) do u have any suggestions for my scalp im trying not to go back to grease

    Transitioning from fitting in to standing Out ......

    DON't mIND ME I havE AN AdvancEd case of CapS LOck DIharreA
  • danrobin0313danrobin0313 Posts: 186Registered Users
    Thanks for the compliment!

    Sealing on short hair a little different than the techniques you may see other long-haired curllies use. I used to put my hair in several loose puffs all over my hair. I would mist the ends with a mixture of water and suave coconut condish just to dampen the hair and then apply a mixture of olive and castor oil to the ends. I did this at night, so I would follow-up with a silk scarf and go to sleep with a towel on my pillow. Some folks swear by coconut oil, shea butter or a mixture of all types of oils... you will find the one you like. Sealing "traps" the mositure in your hair and keeps it supple, soft and healthy.

    Btw, [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]KCCC[/buylink] won't moisturize your hair... moisture comes from water and trapping the moisture in by way of a good condish and sealing. [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]KCCC[/buylink] is a great styling product though.

    I usually don't have scalp issues because I co-wash daily and wash weekly with baby shampoo (is doesn't have the harsh cleanser Sodium-Lauryl Sulfate). Using grease on your scalp is close to the worst thing you could do because the mineral oil/petroleum in most greases smothers the scalp and prevents hair growth. I would recommend a Apple Cider Vinegar rinse for a clean, healthy scalp. See link below for recipe and rinse directions:




    Falling in love more and more each day with my natural hair :love4:

    Current rotation: Shescentit anything, Qhemet Burdock Root Buttercream, Castor Oil, Olive Oil, Hairveda Whipped Jelly, Aussie Moist and Aussie Gels

    Stats: Grazing APL, Dense, Medium Strands, 3c-4a curls
  • CheesyToastCheesyToast Posts: 153Registered Users
    I cut my hair a month ago because my ends were so split and damaged. After cutting..the front of my head turned to frizz and wouldn't hold curl( even when wet). But after awhile it settled in and now it has cute curls...still a bit frizzy but that is because of the length. Sometimes when you cut your hair it takes awhile to settle into its new shape.

    Also as it gets longer I find the curls clump together better, and stay put....especially the front area...which is usually the most manipulated.

    Listen to the ladies here and seal seal seal those ends. Seal to keep the moisture in. It will save you A LOT of future trouble.
    High sheen
    Normal porousity
    Healthy CBL unstretched Dec 2009
    And APL unstretched August 2010
    Fotki updated June 14th 09
  • Alice_42 Alice_42 Posts: 791Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Check out the this thread. It focuses on 4a/b hair but it has great information and product recommendations.

    I like shea butter, it's a little heavy for my 3c areas, but it's easy to make a whipped (and lighter!) version and it's pretty cheap too. I got a pound for less than $20 and that will last me maybe a year!

    I second what everyone is saying about sealing. It really DOES make a difference. It's still a bit cold where I live so I've been sealing with olive oil. After I co-wash and but my leave-in conditioner (shea butter+water+various oils), I put extra virgin olive oil (I'm a student too, so I steal/take it from the dining hall in one of those air plane approved beauty product bottles) on my hands and run them over my hair.

    Last relaxer: August 2008
    Big Chop: December 2008/January 2009
    Blog: Alice in Nappyland
  • MissConstruedMissConstrued Posts: 323Registered Users
    Congrats on the BC. I've started using Hawaiian Silky Miracle Worker 14 in 1 as a leave-in. It is a spray, inexpensive, and for my hair it's great. I usually spray that on and then get some raw shea butter and massage that in. Also, you might want to look up the baggy method. Good luck. I promise it will get better
    "The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable."

    Hair type: 3C
    I am a serial cutter :help:
  • phat_tmrphat_tmr Posts: 3Registered Users
    One thing that I've had to develop since going natural is the patience and a willingness to try new things. When I first BC'd, I found a great regimen. When my leave-in was discontinued, I was lost for over a year. Scarves and puffs were my BFFs for dealing with poofy, frizzy results. I have thick 3b/3c hair, so many products that work well for other curlies, do not work well for me. My friends, in turn, profited from my product cast-offs.

    I haven't done any experimenting with home recipes, since I am so not creative that way. However, I have found some great products for my hair needs thanks in large part to the ladies here on NC. You must take time to determine what works best for your hair. I've learned over time that my hair loves moisture, but is not a huge fan of creams or oils. So leave-ins like Ouidad Sun Shield or CHS Silk Leave-In work great for me. On the other hand, I have to be careful of creamy leave-ins since using too much causes shrinkage and a dull heaviness in my hair. These may be the same products that other 3cs rave about.

    My hair looks great when wet, but as it dries, it can become a frizzy poof ball. So I look for products that lock in the moisture when my hair is wet, and gives me great, defined, frizz-free ringlets when dry. I love the Ouidad Climate Control gel--it gives me wonderful ringlets that hold for 3-4 days easily--a week if I refresh spray with water and a leave-in to reactivate the CC gel. The downside is that I have to apply the product in small half-inch sections because of the thickness of my hair. So this is an absolute pain when I'm swimming more than twice a week.

    If I want a quicker regimen, I have to use a combo of products to do the all-in-one job of the CC gel. I still use the section and rake techniques I learned from Ouidad, but can typically break my hair into 4 sections, and rake through each whole section rather than creating a smaller half-inch section within the section. I've found that I love following cocktail paired with the CHS silk leave-in: [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Curly-Hair-Solutions-Curl-Keeper-p-28.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=curly-hair-solutions-curl-keeper]Curl Keeper[/buylink] (locks out the frizz), [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Confident-Coils-Styling-Solution-p-116.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-confident-coils-styling-solution]Jessicurl Confident Coils Styling Solution[/buylink] (groups my hair into ringlets--so there's no poof) and Batia & Aleeza gel (gives a light hold, soft to touch). The upside, and it's a biggie, is that this cocktail gives my hair lots of movement and body which is hard for me to find. Ouidad also makes it soft to the touch, and I have some movement, but not quite as much body as with the combo. The disadvantage is that I may not get as many days out of it, and I need three products instead of one, but I can at least make 2nd day hair. So this is definitely a wash-n-go routine for the summer.

    I know I wrote a small book, but I just wanted you to know that if you're happy with your hair when it's wet, there are products that will lock in the moisture and give you defined, frizz-free curls. And you must take time to find out what works best for your hair. Also, I've experimented with CK before, and got bad results, but I am now in love with it when used with other products. So be willing to play with product amounts, application techniques, and combinations. If you feel like you need a curl enhancer to encourage your curls, look for those products as well. Since my hair is so thick and spirals on its own, enhancers mean volume to me, which I don't need.
    thick 3b/3c, BC 3/05, SL curly, 50% curl factor

    Shampoo/Conditioner: Ouidad CQ S & C
    DT: Curls Curl Ecstasy Hair Tea condish
    Leave-In: Ouidad Balancing Rinse, Sun Shield Leave-In
    Styler: Ouidad CC gel

    Spring/Summer Swim Routine
    Shampoo/Conditioner: Ouidad CQ S & C
    DT: Curls Curl Ecstasy Hair Tea condish
    Leave-In: CHS Silk Leave-In
    Stylers: CK, JC CCSS, B&A Gel
  • faithful7faithful7 Posts: 58Registered Users
    Just wanted to say congrats and things will get better!!:toothy8: I recently bc'd and it seems like I always hear make sure that your hair is moisturized and then the definition will come. I've been using natural products, sometimes diluting them with water to stretch the product (I do this when I'm about to use the product otherwise the product can go bad if you add extra water and let it sit for days). I find that giovanni direct leave in and giovanni 5050 conditioner are great leave ins that keep my hair moisturized (watch out if you're protein sensitive--not sure if the new formula of 5050 has protein but direct does have protein). Aubrey organics honeysuckle rose, is great as a deep treatment and I use this to cowash (diluted with water) and a leave in (still trying to figure out if this can ever over moisturized hair, so I use AO GPB for protein treatments and giovanni direct for a protein leave in)

    I have also tried different techniques in apply products and I find that the raking method gives me stringy curls, so I do more smoothing. I rinse my hair upside down (cold water) and apply products upside down, just smoothing so not to disrupt the curls. Today I mixed giovanni direct leave, aubrey organics HSR, and a lil castor oil as a leave in and had very defined curls that were moisturized (kind of lie teri's method from biracialhair.org accept I don't use a denman and I detangled with the conditioner then rinsed that with cold water--then smooth in my leave mix).

    When I use [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]kccc[/buylink] (not often because I'm still trying to figure out how to apply all my gels), I sometimes plop with conditioner then apply [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]kccc[/buylink] (but i think most people apply [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]kccc[/buylink] to soaking wet hair, but this gives me stringy curls lately).

    Most of all, keep trying different techniques and make sure your hair is moisturized. Deep condition, and clarify if you have product build up. What I had to realize is just because something works for someone else does not mean it will work for me.

    Also, I love natural products (Aubrey organics, giovanni direct and 5050, [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]kccc[/buylink], [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Knot-Today-p-207.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-knot-today-leaveindetangler]kckt[/buylink] etc), and I stay away from cones, but that's just me.Natural oils and butters are great, you just have to figure out which one your hair likes!! I also hear great things about karen's body beautiful, which I'll be receiving soon. Okay, I'm going to stop typing now!!I hope that this helps, sorry it's so long!!!
    I just BC'd!!!!
    Products: AOHSR (I leave this in too--hope that's okay?), GDLI, KCKT, KCCC (got to figure this one out), Coconut oil, AOMM

    CURL TYPE: ????????

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