I'm desperate for answers! Warning: Long Read!

partynekopartyneko Posts: 7Registered Users
Hi all. This is a long read. But I'm desperate to find out how to start.:? (open the picture in another tab for reference, in case you need to flip back and forth.)
http://studentpages.scad.edu/~kemmon20/NATURALLYCURLYPICS.jpg

This is my very first time creating a thread EVER. I'm a professional lurker, and I never though I would need to tell my story. I thought it was all the same, computer issues to hair issues. But now I'm at my wit's end. And I need someone to help me put my head on straight.

I think my hair is a 2 or a 3, I really can‘t tell- I've been relaxing it for so long. The top layer of hair on the front and sides of my head is a mix between fluff and waves. It can get very poofy and undefined, and is completely different from the back of my hair which has a beautiful loose wave/curl at the bottom half. The problem is that my hair either has a nice curl or the curls don’t form, and I have a head full of fly-aways all over. I really like how the back bottom half of my hair looks, and would like to know how to make the rest of my hair look like that. Also I suspect my hair has too much bulk, and is displaying different categories of curl on the sides, back, and underneath. The hairs at my forehead are never nice. They are always frizzy, and I can’t tell if it’s because they’re dry or if I put too much moisture in them.

Underneath the top layer (I guess the canopy?), the hair has a crazy wave pattern. The hairs are shinier, more prone to frizz, and tangle easily. This crazy layer often peeks out from underneath my top "flatter" giving it a messy or unfinished look. I think that maybe my hair is too heavy, and the curls can’t form on the top half of my head?
From age 12-16, my mom used Dark and Lovely No-Lye relaxer, V-05 Hot Oil Treatments, Motions Pink Lotion, Cholesterol, and big tubs of clear gel to tame my hair. When I turned 16, I used money from my part time job to get my hair relaxed in salons. But only African American salons knew what they were doing. My hair only frustrated and discouraged white beauticians. They were always puzzled as to why my hair would blow up when they blow-dried it. I tried to convince some of them over the years to teach me how to take care of it curly, but they always convinced me that straight was better, and that I should get used to taking 2-3 hours to blow-dry and straighten my hair after a wash. But I never caught on to that. I didn't think it was worth 2 hours to straighten my hair if it was just going to frizz up after a bit of humidity or water. Though I always got compliments on how sleek and nice it looked when it was straight.

I stopped getting regular relaxings 2-3 years ago and started using Catwalk Curls Rock! Curl Booster and Curl Amplifier. Those just barely made my hair manageable. So I added John Frieda Extra Strength serum and Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum. I only used Garnier for my Shampoo/Cond. needs (I know, I know), but I never got the results touted by other people. If I used too much, my hair was greasy. Too little- and somehow it got frizzier! Eventually I got super frustrated. Not only because I couldn't find any products that would help, but also because I felt like the only person alive cursed with my hair. Then my scalp began to get really itchy, and I started to get awful dandruff. I tried all the drug store brands, but even now only coal tar shampoo twice a week can put a dent it, and I hate how that stuff smells. My last relaxer was in December. But I didn't leave it in long enough so it didn't really do much. Before that my last relaxer was last summer.

7-9 months ago I found naturally curly.com. Suddenly there was a huge vocabulary that everyone was using. No-poo, DT, Cowash, slip... From the information I gathered here, I started using KeraCare Humecto, Joico KPak, and Milani Botanifying Conditioning Shamp. That worked okay, but then I started to develop little crusty scabs on my scalp that would get soft and earwaxy when wet. They would show up a couple of days after I shampooed my hair. Then I heard about going CG. It only took a few pictures of beautiful perfect curls of all shapes and sizes to convince me that "yes! I can do this!" I bought the CG book, Nexxus Humectress, HealthySexy TriWheat Leave in Cond., and Tresemme Moisture Rich Cond. I stopped brushing, started deep conditioning, only combed when I was conditioning, only used alcohol-free clear gel, and slept on satin pillowcases. For a while my hair felt much better and my curl definition got better- but that happened mostly underneath my top layer. I was still getting a lot of buildup even after the brown sugar scrubs. So I modified my routine, and added the coal tar shampoo and Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo. Then my hair has stopped getting better, and went back to being frizzy and scruffy. It even started clumping, shedding, and breaking like nobody's biz. I had to start brushing again, because finger combing made all the hairs in the back of my head get all tangled which then frizzed. But brushing is a nightmare because everything is tangled in everything. I have an entire moving box full of half used products that never worked. It seems like my hair becomes resilient to new products, and the positive effects go away after a while. Where did I go wrong? I've been lurking this site for a while, but I'm hesitant to go buy more of the "this worked for me" products people are talking about because I really need a good place to start fresh from. I'm even considering a Big Chop because my hair has a good amount of split ends. But I don't know if BCs are usually for African American hair. And I don’t really classify my hair as African American. The only thing keeping me from going out right now and doing it is because I have a round face structure, and I always felt that long hair would hide some of the extra roundness in my features. I wish I could sit down with someone who knows curly hair, but I've become wary of stylists who are always trying to sell me something and just trying to get the job done as quickly as possible.

So, that's my story. I could have gotten more detailed but this is a post, not a novel lol. I guess I what I need most is to find out what kind of hair I have, and then go from there.:o

Comments

  • whatsercurlwhatsercurl Posts: 4,049Registered Users
    I'm glad you finally decided to de-lurk. Hope you get the help you're looking for.

    I don't have a lot of answers as I've never relaxed and I expect some of the problems you're facing are due to the relaxer.

    When I looked thru your current product list, you have Tresemme as conditioner. Are you sure it's CG? Most of the Tresemme I've seen has cones in it which could be causing your buildup. Depending on where you live, there are tons of cheap CG conditioners - Sauve, VO5, L'Oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss and many more.

    The relapse could be due to the introduction of shampoo back into your routine. It sounds like your hair isn't getting enough moisture.

    I hope some of the more "scientific" girls chime in. Good luck. :)
    Current Products: CJ Products: CF, DF, CT, SG, AFG, CIAB AND CK is back!
    Current Experiment: S&C by D

    Curl Fix and Daily Fix are my HGs :love4:


    Sulphate and cone free since July 2007

    wavy/curly fine texture/medium porosity/medium-low density

    http://public.fotki.com/whatsercurl/

    PW: wavycurly

    Seek not to change the world. Rather seek to change your mind about the world.
  • partynekopartyneko Posts: 7Registered Users
    i guess you're right. I saw Tresemme on a list by a person who was promoting the Curly Girl book. I figured "hey, that's awesome Tresemme is pretty cheap"
    You get what you pay for I guess.

    Do you know any tried and true conditioner, leave in conditioner, or styling product that I could try? I just need a starting point!
  • Curlygirl75Curlygirl75 Posts: 65Registered Users
    I can so relate to your situation, first i am also trying to get rid of the rest of my relaxed hairs. I get a little cut off every month or so until it will be all gone.I have to admit this is not the first time of trying to go back all natural after relaxing,the last time i did go and do a BC,anyone can do a BC. You dont have to get it cut really really short as long as all of the relaxer is cut out!I am new to this whole CG thing but i am using Suave Coconut condish and it is great. If i have to shampoo to remove residue i use suave Clarifying shampoo and those are really cheap.I am currently co-washing with the cocnut condish and not rinsing it all out them adding my HE Totally twisted mousse and Aussie Sydney smooth gel to my dripping wet hair in the shower then i plop for about 20 minutes! I am getting fairly good results! I think your hair need a trim and ALOT of moisture because those relaxers wreck havok on our already curly dry hair! Sorry this is so long, just thought it might help ya alittle!
    CG since 03/21/09
    Last relaxer 11/08
    Co-wash: Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Fortifying Cream Conditioner
    Leave in: Sunsilk Captivating Curls Frizz Cream
    Styling products: Curl Junkie Coffee-Coco Curl Cream, Herbal Essence Set Me UP Gel,Herbal Essences Totally Twisted Gel
    Air drying
    http://public.fotki.com/Curlygirl75/
    Pictures below are 1/09, 4/09, 1/10
    comic-p.jpg
  • whatsercurlwhatsercurl Posts: 4,049Registered Users
    I use the LVPNG for long/wavy hair quite often. Then Giovanni Direct Leave-In and one of the Herbal Essences gels or Flax Seed Gel. I like Body Envy (medium hold) and Set Me Up (strong hold) the best. Total cost for these would probably be around $15 - less if you make your own FSG. (The products I use the most are in my signature but I do have tons of others that I've tried unsuccessfully.)

    It's good a idea to stick with just a few CG products to get the amounts and method down before branching out into the multitude of products that you will see on the boards.
    Current Products: CJ Products: CF, DF, CT, SG, AFG, CIAB AND CK is back!
    Current Experiment: S&C by D

    Curl Fix and Daily Fix are my HGs :love4:


    Sulphate and cone free since July 2007

    wavy/curly fine texture/medium porosity/medium-low density

    http://public.fotki.com/whatsercurl/

    PW: wavycurly

    Seek not to change the world. Rather seek to change your mind about the world.
  • partynekopartyneko Posts: 7Registered Users
    What exactly is HE? I see a lot of users have abbreviations in their sigs, and was wondering if there's a FAQ page about all the different "lingo"s you guys use. Otherwise I'm totally lost!:confused5:

    I guess I should start experimenting with plopping. Some users say that using an old T shirt is best? do i just wrap the t-shirt around my head? won' that mess up the curls??

    sorry for all the questions, I guess I'm a certified newb.
  • whatsercurlwhatsercurl Posts: 4,049Registered Users
    There is a sticky in the General forum with a list of abbreviations and acronyms. HEBE - Herbal Essences Body Envy

    There are tons of threads and even some pictures with plopping. If you don't want to spend a lot of time searching, easiest place to see it is on the Jessicurl website. Video called plunking.

    I used a t-shirt for over a year then switched to flour sack towel. But I rarely if ever plop anymore. Depends on the person, but I can only plop for about 5 min or my hair goes frizzy and curl goes all wonky.

    I'm more likely to use the flour sack towel to scrunch out excess water after I've applied my products.
    Current Products: CJ Products: CF, DF, CT, SG, AFG, CIAB AND CK is back!
    Current Experiment: S&C by D

    Curl Fix and Daily Fix are my HGs :love4:


    Sulphate and cone free since July 2007

    wavy/curly fine texture/medium porosity/medium-low density

    http://public.fotki.com/whatsercurl/

    PW: wavycurly

    Seek not to change the world. Rather seek to change your mind about the world.
  • DiamondsPearlsnCurlsDiamondsPearlsnCurls Posts: 3Registered Users
    PartyNeko I am in the EXACT same boat you are. The funny thing is, I've never had a relaxer. I do typically keep my hair straightened though, could this be the problem?
    I, too do not know any of these abbreviations, I've been looking at different threads for methods. Someone told me that I was overconditioned, which was very believable since I was always a heavy product user.
    Last night I actually tried the Baking Soda Cleanse - with 1tbsp of baking soda with 3 tbsps of silicone free conditioner. I used an Aubrey Island Naturals Conditioner. Immediately following, I did an Apple Cidar Vinegar rinse. Well my hair is quite shiny and extra soft now but the front/top part of my hair still looks absolutely awful. Compared to the back of my hair, it is completely straight. Does this method take time to take effect or do I need to do something else? I could really use some answers here.
  • partynekopartyneko Posts: 7Registered Users
    Same here. My front hairs are ALWAYS straighter than the rest of my hair which is really weird because you would think that those hairs would grow out of the relaxer faster.

    Does anyone know if there's a way to immediately tell if you over-condition? My hair always feels dry but I use soooo much conditioner. I know I'm doing something wrong but I can't tell which way I'm going. Too little- or too much.
  • deletedelete Posts: 815Registered Users
    So it's been a couple of years since you stopped relaxing? From what I've read on here, it's really hard to repair relaxed hair and you basically wait for the hair to grow out. I know a lot of curlies have done the big chop-myself included- and it's an easy way to just wipe the slate clean and start over.

    I was terrified of chopping off my hair but it was super fried from dying and bleaching. Plus there were great accessories that I could use, like headwraps, that I can't now that my hair is growing back out.

    Your hair looks EXACTLY like my sister's when she doesn't have product in. Have you bought any CG styling products?

    The coal tar shampoo is going to eff up your hair. I've always had an itchy scalp issue and that shampoo just kills my hair. My scalp feels great but I look like a brillo pad.

    I would say that if you're going to going CG, make sure none of your products have silicones. It takes a sulfate shampoo to remove the 'cones. If you're feeling the need to wash your hair and co-washing isn't cutting it-try a low 'poo.

    As for curls, I find that mousse gives me tighter curls than gel. Herbal Essence mousses and gels are CG and cheap, so they're a good place to start.

  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,136Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Partyneko-- Your hair looks dry, especially the front hairline. You need more moisture. I would also stop using products with silicones for at least three months. If your scalp is oily then conditioner washing will not work for you. If it's not, then using Suave Naturals conditioner as shampoo is a good and inexpensive choice. If your scalp is oily, then using a non-sulfate shampoo, such as one from Avalon or Kiss My Face or any that could be found from a health food store such as Whole Foods, Trader Joes or Vitamin Shoppe.

    Repairing damage takes time, but honestly your hair doesn't look horrible. Just leave in a little silicone-free conditioner with a little bit of silicone-free gel on wet hair and you should be okay. Put hair in a loose braid or bun before bed and on bad hair days, just pull hair back and wear a pretty hair accessory.
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,136Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Diamonds -- Constant, long-term flat-ironing can be damaging, even as damaging as chemical straighteners/relaxers.
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • mpgirlmpgirl Posts: 1,163Registered Users
    First let me say that I chemically straightened my hair for almost 10 years. It took a decision to move from Indiana to Florida to force me to consider going natural again.

    Right now, no offense, but the type of hair you have is "damaged". If your last straightener was December, you have a little new growth and that new growth is being sucked dry by the tar-based shampoo and silicones. This is not going to be an easy journey for you but it CAN be done. You will need to decide first if you absolutely have to keep your length or if you are willing to get rid of as much of the damage as you can to start fresh sooner rather than later.

    Your hair looks similar to mine prior to straightening when I was shampooing every day. I have a delicate hairline and the hairs would look almost ziz-zag in their curl pattern when they were completely dry. The curl pattern was never uniform and it always looked best when it was 50% dry. After that it always looked frizzy and dry. My scalp was so dry it flaked all the time and the base of my scalp was always itchy.

    My hair was in a shoulder-length bob when I decided to go natural and I blow-dried and flat ironed the new growth so that it matched the straightened hair until it grew to the point that I could chop of the straightened hair. I had about 2-3 inches of hair all over. You can check my albums to see the early days. A BC is for anybody that wants to get rid of the damage entirely. I don't believe there is a difference between african american hair and anybody else's. Hair is hair. I had to cut it again 3 months and 5 months later to get much of the damaged new growth off that I had tortured as it was growing in and was able to start fresh from that point on.

    Once I started this journey I gave up shampoo with sulfates in them and got religious about moisturizing my hair. Diet played a very big part for me but that is for another post. For the most part, my arsenal of hair products consisted of Suave Coconut for a co-wash and detangler, ojon restorative hair treatments and JessiCurl Weekly Deep Treatment. I DT'd my hair 3 times a week for a couple of months before I backed off to once a week.

    Dropping the shampoo and cutting out the silicones took care of my flaky and itchy scalp. Now, I use a lot of natural products and my scalp has responded really well. I found that I needed to be thorough but gentle with my scalp. I didn't need to scrub it raw to clean it, I just needed stop stripping my scalp and hair with the silicones.

    Now I occasionally use a non-sulfate shampoo and some very moisturizing conditioners, leave-ins and curl cremes. I always top them off with Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee for control. I love my curl now although some days are still a challenge, I love it more now than ever before.

    A good place to start to learn about the science of hair is right here. Tiffany is a stylist who specializes in curly hair and she has some good info on there. Her blog is very educational as well.

    If you have more questions, pm me and I will be happy to help where I can.
    3b spirals, fine texture, normal porosity, dense
    Picasa:
    Link
    Deva Low Poo
    Suave Naturals Coconut for detangling
    Renpure Organics conditioner/leave-in
    Homemade FSG
    KCCC
    Curl Junkie Stuff
    BRHG


    Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. -wabi-sabi

  • partynekopartyneko Posts: 7Registered Users
    I'm so frustrated and furious. My hair is driving me crazy.
    Great intro, huh?
    So I took everyone's advice and ditched the 'cones again. I went to the store and got Loreal Vive Nutrigloss Cond, but I'm probably not going to use that until I'm farther along. I also got some duckbill clips, Motions Detangling Conditioner, a wide tooth comb, and something called Dr. Miracle's "Feel It" Formula Damaged Hair Medicated Treatment. I also read Tiffany's page: Live Curly, Live Free The Hair Science Behind the World of Beautiful Curls. I was pumped and ready to go. I got in the shower, let the water run through my hair, and really loaded up my curls with the detangling cond. I grabbed my comb and carefully started to run it through.

    It took from 4pm - 5:15pm to comb my hair!! I had the biggest, nastiest, matted tangles I've ever had in my life. I suppose its from scrunching my hair with gel after showering, along with split ends. I was close to tears. After 45 minutes of tugging at a huge ball of knots, I had to grab the brush and rake it out. I might as well have been trying to comb the springs out of a new mattress. Even being more cautious than usual resulted in lots and LOTS of hair coming out with the comb. My hair was SOAKED with the detangling cond. but it didn't do a darn thing.

    When I finished rinsing my hair out and tried to rake some mousse through my hair, it was as if I hadn't even combed it. I couldn't get my hands halfway through my hair with the product, plus MORE hairs were breaking off. I just wanna chop if off as soon as possible. I'm so frustrated. I feel cheated.
  • mpgirlmpgirl Posts: 1,163Registered Users
    I'm really sorry this has all been so difficult for you. *hugs* Very porous hair can get really tangled. You may want to scrunch or squeeze the conditioner in and let it sit in your hair for a bit before combing out the tangles. This has helped me at times.

    I know it feels like you've been at this forever, but what are the alternatives? You can continue to try to work with what you have, you can give this whole thing up and chemically straighten it or you can cut your hair and start over. I think you need to choose. None of these choices are going to be easy. I feel for you but you need to decide and let us know so we know how to help you.
    3b spirals, fine texture, normal porosity, dense
    Picasa:
    Link
    Deva Low Poo
    Suave Naturals Coconut for detangling
    Renpure Organics conditioner/leave-in
    Homemade FSG
    KCCC
    Curl Junkie Stuff
    BRHG


    Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. -wabi-sabi

  • partynekopartyneko Posts: 7Registered Users
    phew.

    Well things aren't as bad as they seem. In my above reply I mainly focused on the negative, but there were some good things that I learned! (Like my hairs are so in love, they never wanted to be separated by my comb)

    On a positive note, I was able to try DR. Miracle's Damaged Hair Treatment. Has anyone else had experience with this? It was very ... minty I guess. It felt like Icy Hot for the scalp, and smells like a tongue depressor that's been soaking in mint. (I don't really care about smells anymore though, I just want results.) It seems to have washed out really clean, and my scalp felt really fresh for about 30 minutes after showering. I don't know what to do about that detangling condit. though. I'll give it another try......

    I got some Herbal Essences mousse today also and so far the bottom of my hair looks 100% better than before. My hairline looks much better also. I don't know if it's from the Dr. Miracle or the mousse. I really love the smell too.

    The understory is a different story. It still looks really puffy and undefined. I can never seem to get product to get down in there. especially the understory in the back. Any tips? Maybe get that area thinned out?

    Well, I'm definitely not going to give up. I think my hair has the potential to look really fabulous, I just need to get it healthy. It's weird saying that because I've been trying to do that all my life anyway. I guess my hair will always be a project - or problematic. I'm going to try and make an appointment tomorrow. I'm probably not going to get a BC, I'm gonna start slow and go from SL to CL.:glasses2:
  • deletedelete Posts: 815Registered Users
    You could try putting in your products with your head flipped upside down. Or section your hair off and start with the bottom layers first.

  • RupertsWifeRupertsWife Posts: 492Registered Users
    @partyneko ~ I can totally relate to your story and I have struggled with damaged hair from relaxing and the tears in the shower while combing for years. MPCurl is right - you CAN do this, you must do this if you don't want to keep straightening. Patience is important. When I went CG it took my hair almost 3 months to finally start looking good, and for me to stop losing handfuls of hair in the shower, but it will happen. A good hair cut can help, even if you're not ready to cut it all off, trimming a few inches can still make a difference and help with detangling.
    Not sure where you are located but if you have a Sally's close by you may want to try their GVP Conditioning Balm, it's wonderful. My hair was/is still extremly dry, although now it's managable and I know how to keep it moisturized. It's finding that wonderful balance between protein and moisture that Struttswife talks about on her page. A lot of people swear by Nexxus Emergencee. If you do add protein, be sure you follow it up with TONS of moisture. I'm not an expert in the condition of your hair just based on the pictures but it sounds very porus and dry. Be careful not to go overboard with protein though, a little goes a long way in most cases.
    More importantly try to not get frustrated, I know it's tough, because I've been there, but posting on this site has helped a ton. Everyone here is so helpful, and supportive. When you're having a tough day or have a question about something, lurk no more. We are here for you. Hang in there, and feel free to PM me anytime you want.

    3b/c mix; mixture of fine, med. and coarse texture with med-high porosity


    Current HG routine: Tresemme Naturals conditioner; AG Fast Food LI; AG Recoil; CJ CIAB = no crunch, lots of body and awesome definition :thumbup:

    :rolleyes: Dutchess Daydreamer of the Desert Sands in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    :rolleyes:


    http://public.fotki.com/crazycurlz21/
    password:rupert
  • CurliTressesCurliTresses Posts: 119Registered Users
    I'm so sorry you're feeling so frustrated with your hair. Have been there myself. I agree with what all the others have said. Just wanted to chime in & suggest you could try adding a few drops of coconut, jojoba, almond, or avocado oil to your leave-in conditioner. There's also unrefined shea butter which is also very softening for the hair & can be used as a pre-wash treatment (even little olive oil can also be used as pre-treatment before washing). All these could probably help with detangling. Glad you did have better results with your new products. Please hang in there & continue babying your hair, you will continue seeing good results.
    HairType: multi-texture 3a/b/c
  • KinkyKeeperKinkyKeeper Posts: 963Registered Users
    Anyone can do a BC and I suggest it for you. Relaxed ends really only hurt your hair. I have always kind of wondered how White people's hair reacts to transitioning becuase none of them seem to chop it off. Some of my white friends just thought the relaxer "dissapears" or something and never cut them off at the demacation line. No, to get rid of the relaxed ends you are going to have to chop them off sometime, the only choice is now or later.

    And don't worry about having a round face. My face is very round and that was the reason I was going to have a long transition. I ended up only being able to wait 9 months and only had about 4-5 inches of hair. And I chopped it off one day and looked in the mirror and loved my little afro. I thought my face was gonna look so round but it didn't. It looked right. And it really helps to get some cure headbands and dangling earrings and makeup for those days you don't feel as feminine. And the dangly earring will also visually elongate your face.
  • mpgirlmpgirl Posts: 1,163Registered Users
    Anyone can do a BC and I suggest it for you. Relaxed ends really only hurt your hair. I have always kind of wondered how White people's hair reacts to transitioning becuase none of them seem to chop it off. Some of my white friends just thought the relaxer "dissapears" or something and never cut them off at the demacation line. No, to get rid of the relaxed ends you are going to have to chop them off sometime, the only choice is now or later.

    And don't worry about having a round face. My face is very round and that was the reason I was going to have a long transition. I ended up only being able to wait 9 months and only had about 4-5 inches of hair. And I chopped it off one day and looked in the mirror and loved my little afro. I thought my face was gonna look so round but it didn't. It looked right. And it really helps to get some cure headbands and dangling earrings and makeup for those days you don't feel as feminine. And the dangly earring will also visually elongate your face.

    This just goes to show that hair is hair. It really doesn't matter your ethnicity. If you straighten your hair it's damaged - makes no difference if you're black, white or yellow or brown. White girls have kinky hair too.

    When I started to transition I waited until I could have about 2-3 inches of hair and went for it. I couldn't wait to start fresh and I'm really glad I did. The experience was a bit freeing for me.
    3b spirals, fine texture, normal porosity, dense
    Picasa:
    Link
    Deva Low Poo
    Suave Naturals Coconut for detangling
    Renpure Organics conditioner/leave-in
    Homemade FSG
    KCCC
    Curl Junkie Stuff
    BRHG


    Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. -wabi-sabi

  • loewinloewin Posts: 246Registered Users
    I just thought I'd put in my 2 cents. When my hair was longer, I too had a terrible time getting a comb thru it. By the time I got done my arms were killing me and i was in tears.

    I cut a good 12 inches off of my hair and I loved it. I could run a comb, my fingers thru my hair and it didn't hurt, and it was smooth. You really might want to consider cutting off a lot of that damage as it is not repairable. Even if you keep most of the length, but cut layers into it, I think you might find it easier to take care of.

    Also, if you are combing out in the shower you might find a very rich, thick conditioner makes it a lot easier. I just picked up the Generic Value Product Conditioning Balm from Sally beauty supply and it is so rich, it really coats my hair and makes combing easier now that my hair has grown back a little. Don't be afraid to use as much as you need to get the job done, just rinse well.

    Good luck to you!
    Very basic hair wiki :sign9:
    http://curlyhairwiki.wetpaint.com/
    In depth wikis :sign9:
    http://curlyhair.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

    http://curltalk.net:8080/web/guest/wiki;jsessionid=56628865A9EAD858B89DF7BC9CB6D285

    2b/3a medium/coarse semi-porous/iii
    White Rain Ocean Mist GVP conditioning balm. Bioterra/LA Looks. Air dry. SOTC w/LOOB..I think its my first HG. :love1:
    Experimenting with homemade recipes.:happy5:
  • morrighumorrighu Posts: 707Registered Users
    I did relax my hair ONE time and I had to cut it off and I do mean cut it ALL off. It was horrible. My round chubby face does NOT look good with a pixie cut.

    I stuck to doing things like using products that I knew would remove the curl from my hair - sulfate shampoos, really heavy leave in conditioners, silicones, etc.

    I will tell you that once you cut off what I call the "crunchy" parts, you won't tangle nearly so much. Finger combing will be enough.

    Now that all of my crunchy bits are gone, I comb out in the shower and finger comb most of the rest of the time. Now, that said, I sleep in a pineapple and I use a satin pillow case. You will *not* beleive how much difference that makes!!!!!!!

    I'd probably give up some of my products before I would give up my satin pillow case.
  • AllieSJayAllieSJay Posts: 21Registered Users
    oh my gosh, i so feel for you. Ive been doing relaxers for 4 to 5 years and ive had the same experience as you. The dryness i meen. Your crown looks just like mine. I would suggest an avacodo mask. I have HORRIBLY dry hair due to relaxing and flat ironing with a flatiron that was at a fixed temp and was way to hot for my hair. well the avacodo mask put SOOO much moister back into my hair i really suggest it.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/bubzbeauty#p/search/2/r0kvwQYHZYQ

    this vid is really useful.
    my hair felt considerably softer
    Let me know if you do this and if it helps you at all ^-^
    http://public.fotki.com/AllieSJay/

    password: baybay

    *~Last Relaxer August 20~*

    :love5:New Found Loves:love5:
    ~vo5 herbal escapes pomegranate and grapeseed extract~
  • generositytgenerosityt Posts: 245Registered Users
    When you detangle do you go from top to bottom or from bottom to top? If you don't go from the ends of your hair, work the tangles out then move up slowly, it will take you forever and it would be really painful to get the tangles out.
    Also I have the same problem in front of my head but it's getting much better, that puff in front is actually curling out now. Since I started going CG I start leaving lots of conditioner in front and curl the hair there with my fingers, for second hair days I twist that part and put a little pin in it and sometimes I braid it in a side braid and use a pin too, until it grew longer and now it curls on its own, though I still braid it sometimes for second hair days..
    Also oil helps a lot in your case, conditioner and gel are not enough in my opinion, I used to mix glycerin and oil and put them in my hair before the gel. Now I added oil and aloe vera gel and I skip gel most of the time because my hair is much healthier now and it holds fine without gel. Also gels are better than mousses for very dry hair. I also don't scrunch when I put gel, it gets really frizzy that way, you need to kind of hold the curls in your hand instead section by section it will gives you much more definition and less tangles.
    Use your fingers to do the top part of your head, you could shape your curls any way you want by using your fingers.
    Sometimes, depending on the weather, I mix olive oil and honey and live it my hair for an hour or too (sometimes over night) before I shower, my hair feels much softer after that and much manageable.
    Don't worry, most of us have been through difficult times with our hair, you will get it at the end.
    By the way there are lots of tutorials on youtube on how to detangle your hair, how to style it, use products etc etc..
    A Mediterranean 3b lady
    In love with my curls, love love love
    CG since Nov/07


    Co-Wash: VO5, Tresemme naturals, Fructis naturals
    Cond: Nature's Gate conditioners
    Stylers: Lotions made at home with coconut oil, honey, AVG, vegetable glycerin, OO, and EO.
    Gel: LA Looks sports gel for high humidity days.


    Hair goal: Waist length healthy curls

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