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physical objects are so daunting

tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
Physical objects are so daunting to me for some reason. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Mailing stuff, changing the kitty litter, weeding the garden, doing laundry - oh my god, these are HUGE daunting tasks to me. I feel exhausted after I do it.

Mailing stuff is the worst. I have such a hard time knowing the locations of physical objects - and mailing something requires me to coordinate having a lot of different objects in the same place at the same time - keys, pen, stamps, envelopes, the object that I want to mail, etc., etc - while I look for one I accidentally lose track of what I already have assembled - it's so hard!!

But I can spend hours and hours doing "digital" work ... writing software or budgeting - no problem! effortless!

If I made more money I would hire someone to do all of my physical-object chores!

Anyway, just wanted to vent because I just put my laundry in the dryer and then cleaned up cat poop from my cat wiping her ass on the carpet after some new food disagreed with her. And yesterday I mailed 2 package AND got an oil change. Those 4 things wiped me out so much more than the 50-hour work week that preceded them.

Comments

  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    Wow - I could have written this. Are you ADD? I go through the exact same thing with tasks I don't enjoy, I'm absolutely wrung out afterwards. But my work (graphic designer) is a whole different thing. I hyper-focus to the point of ignoring basic urges, like peeing and eating! :lol:
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    Wow - I could have written this. Are you ADD? I go through the exact same thing with tasks I don't enjoy, I'm absolutely wrung out afterwards. But my work (graphic designer) is a whole different thing. I hyper-focus to the point of ignoring basic urges, like peeing and eating! :lol:

    oh yeah I do the hyper-focusing thing too. :) putting off going to the bathroom for hours and hours because I'm in the middle of a thought. :) sometimes I get home and realize I totally forgot to eat all day.
    Is it possible to have ADD and still find it really easy to concentrate on certain tasks? I didn't know that. at work my supervisor thinks I'm the most organized programmer in the world, but that's because it's all digital stuff and I can save a list in notepad. ;)

    Too bad I can't save my keys in notepad or write a C# program to change my kitty litter!! I would be all set!
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    Is it possible to have ADD and still find it really easy to concentrate on certain tasks?

    Absolutely - it's actually one of the "signs" of ADD.

    My doctor explained to me that "attention deficit" is actually misleading... there's not a deficit at all. It's more of an attention inconsistency.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    Is it possible to have ADD and still find it really easy to concentrate on certain tasks?

    Absolutely - it's actually one of the "signs" of ADD.

    My doctor explained to me that "attention deficit" is actually misleading... there's not a deficit at all. It's more of an attention inconsistency.

    That's interesting ... I really didn't know that! I definitely do find certain things easier to pay attention to than others. I always thought that was because certain things are more boring than others. ;) hehe.

    My boyfriend makes fun of me because I can pay attention to sci-fi and fantasy movies really easily, but any movie involving everyday people doing everyday things really baffles me and I can't follow the plot to save my life!! Now I wonder if that's part of the same thing.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    You should get evaluated for ADHD - I definitely share some of these symptoms (and more). Hyperfocus is one of them. Am currently trying out different meds. The first one helped a LOT but had a high co-pay. These last 2 I've tried -- mehh! Really depends on your chemistry.

    Two really good books that helped me identify this:

    ADD-Friendly ways to organize your life (Kohlberg)
    Delivered from Distraction (Hallowell)
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  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    hmmm ... drugs are scary to me though ... luckily my programming job is one of the "fascinating" things that's easy to concentrate on, so if I do have ADD then it's only affecting my personal life, not my work. and I have somehow trained myself to put my keys and cell phone in the "bunny bucket" (yeah stupid name, but I have a goofy bunny picture that helps me remember to put stuff in there otherwise I would never remember) :)

    I wonder if I should just put in a few extra hours at work and use the extra money to outsource more of the boring stuff!! :)

    I already outsource part of it - I have a cleaning service that comes twice a month to clean my house ... oh god, that's a lifesaver ... if I ever lose my job I would probably give up groceries before I would give up the cleaning service. before I had the cleaning service I could literally spend 8 hours cleaning and it would look so terrible and half-done. now they come and 4 people clean the whole house in half an hour and it looks perfect.

    I think I just need to admit that I suck at certain tasks, and hire people to do them for me. it would help the economy right?? :)
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    hmmm ... drugs are scary to me though ... luckily my programming job is one of the "fascinating" things that's easy to concentrate on, so if I do have ADD then it's only affecting my personal life, not my work. and I have somehow trained myself to put my keys and cell phone in the "bunny bucket" (yeah stupid name, but I have a goofy bunny picture that helps me remember to put stuff in there otherwise I would never remember) :)

    I wonder if I should just put in a few extra hours at work and use the extra money to outsource more of the boring stuff!! :)

    I already outsource part of it - I have a cleaning service that comes twice a month to clean my house ... oh god, that's a lifesaver ... if I ever lose my job I would probably give up groceries before I would give up the cleaning service. before I had the cleaning service I could literally spend 8 hours cleaning and it would look so terrible and half-done. now they come and 4 people clean the whole house in half an hour and it looks perfect.

    I think I just need to admit that I suck at certain tasks, and hire people to do them for me. it would help the economy right?? :)
    Thing I liked about "Delivered from Distraction" is that they recommend non-drug related strategies first. Medication is last on the list.

    I too am very cautious about meds, but at my age, less so. What I loved about the first med -- it was like putting on prescription glasses after years of not seeing. Better simile is putting on noise-canceling headphones. The noise/chatter in my head just -- stopped. It was wonderful. My focus sharpened. My anxiety (for which I was taking medication) diminished so much that I didn't need medication.
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  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    that is interesting ... what are some of the non-medication strategies?

    I guess my fear with drugs is that I wouldn't feel like "me" anymore ... my scatterbrainedness is still part of my personality even if it is frustrating sometimes. :)

    for a month I had a cheezy picture taped to my stairs, of a chubby bunny putting keys in a bucket with "Good Bunnies Put Keys In The Bunny Bucket" written under the picture (my own lovely work of art, haha). It's not there any more but I still think about it when I see my keys so that was one thing that helped me a little.

    Having a clean house helps me too. I can remember where stuff is a lot more easily if it's not cluttered. so the cleaning service helps a lot. every other Friday is my most relaxing and mentally clear day because that's when the house is suddenly clean. :) When they're done then I usually go in and do some organizing of my own because it doesn't look so overwhelming any more.

    Getting rid of stuff helps me a lot too. When I feel like there's too much laundry to do, I donate most of it and wash the rest, keeping my favorite stuff and getting rid of anything that seems like too much effort to wash. then it feels a little less overwhelming.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    hmm that reminds me - I wonder what my boyfriend would think if I donated all of our dishes. :)
    when I was single and living alone I owned one bowl, one plate, one knife, one fork, one spoon, one glass, one mug, one pot. (I put all of my other dishes on the curb and someone took them away.) It worked great for me - I never felt overwhelmed by a sink full of dishes because I didnt have enough dishes to fill the sink.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    that is interesting ... what are some of the non-medication strategies?

    I guess my fear with drugs is that I wouldn't feel like "me" anymore ... my scatterbrainedness is still part of my personality even if it is frustrating sometimes. :)

    A lot of ADHD meds are metabolized in 8 or 12 hours. You could try them, just to see if you'd prefer it. Even if it sucked, it wouldn't last very long.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    that is interesting ... what are some of the non-medication strategies?

    I guess my fear with drugs is that I wouldn't feel like "me" anymore ... my scatterbrainedness is still part of my personality even if it is frustrating sometimes. :)

    A lot of ADHD meds are metabolized in 8 or 12 hours. You could try them, just to see if you'd prefer it. Even if it sucked, it wouldn't last very long.

    true but then the diagnosis also becomes part of your medical record and anything that goes on that record makes it more expensive to get health insurance later ... which isn't noticeable to most people because they get insurance through their employer, but I'm an independent contractor and I pay for my own insurance so it's something I keep in the back of my mind.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    true but then the diagnosis also becomes part of your medical record and anything that goes on that record makes it more expensive to get health insurance later

    God, that sucks
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    I got a question about ADD/ADHD meds if you any of you don't mind answering.

    If you're prescribed meds for it, are you supposed to be on it all the time, or do you just take it as needed?
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    Wow - I could have written this. Are you ADD? I go through the exact same thing with tasks I don't enjoy, I'm absolutely wrung out afterwards. But my work (graphic designer) is a whole different thing. I hyper-focus to the point of ignoring basic urges, like peeing and eating! :lol:

    I could have written this as well. I'm pretty sure I don't have ADD though. Every time I read a description of executive function disorder, I think, "I think I have that!".
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    cympreni wrote: »
    I got a question about ADD/ADHD meds if you any of you don't mind answering.

    If you're prescribed meds for it, are you supposed to be on it all the time, or do you just take it as needed?


    I just take as needed.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    what is executive function disorder?

    I once took a "do you have autism?" test and scored pretty darn high on it ... lol. but I try not to trust too many tests that I take on the internet. :)
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    cympreni wrote: »
    I got a question about ADD/ADHD meds if you any of you don't mind answering.

    If you're prescribed meds for it, are you supposed to be on it all the time, or do you just take it as needed?


    I just take as needed.

    Well, I guess I mean to say, are you supposed to take breaks from it?

    I guess I need to tell the story.

    I knew some people who got in an argument over a child who had ADHD. He was rather . . . unruly to put it politely. Someone had asked if he took his meds that day. A few people insisted that he wasn't supposed to take it unless he was in school. That his mind needed "to rest" from his meds.

    I was just curious if that was true.
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    thanks!

    I have another question about ADD (or maybe a question about people who don't have ADD). sorry if this is ignorant. Would a non-ADD person find it easy to concentrate on something boring? I'm having trouble picturing that ... lol. :)

    Aren't some tasks just inherently more boring than others? And wouldn't anyone lose focus if they're doing something that's totally boring to them? how is it a medical issue to be completely bored by something boring? ...

    I know there's more to it but I'm reading all these "do you have ADD?" quizzes where it asks "Do you have trouble concentrating on things that aren't interesting to you?" and a "Yes" answer to that is supposed to bump your score in favor of ADD. I just can't picture how anyone would answer No to that question though! Are there really people out there who find it easy to concentrate on boring things? :)
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    It's important to remember than any of these behaviors are on a spectrum, so what seems impossible to you, tmmy_cat, feels fairly similar to someone on the other end of the spectrum, but to a much lesser degree, and so they can manage to overcome it.

    One way of looking at it: they might find, say, doing their taxes to be boring. But they are able to put their mind on the outcome and get it done. Whereas someone with ADHD might not be able to get past how boring it is, even if the outcome is something they want.

    That said, I hope this post doesn't come off as me saying people with ADHD don't have willpower or something. I know it's not that simple. I liken it to depression, where some people don't feel it as strongly and can therefore bounce back, whereas someone like me needs extra help.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    wild~hair wrote: »
    It's important to remember than any of these behaviors are on a spectrum, so what seems impossible to you, tmmy_cat, feels fairly similar to someone on the other end of the spectrum, but to a much lesser degree, and so they can manage to overcome it.

    One way of looking at it: they might find, say, doing their taxes to be boring. But they are able to put their mind on the outcome and get it done. Whereas someone with ADHD might not be able to get past how boring it is, even if the outcome is something they want.

    That said, I hope this post doesn't come off as me saying people with ADHD don't have willpower or something. I know it's not that simple. I liken it to depression, where some people don't feel it as strongly and can therefore bounce back, whereas someone like me needs extra help.

    oic ... well that makes more sense. I didn't realize that the boring tasks were actually not possible for some people. I think I am in the "buckle down and really hate it but get it done if I have to" category.

    but on second thought there are some things that are are just way too overwhelming for me. if it is boring AND unnecessary then I just can't do it. for example I can't wash a 4-foot tall pile of clothes that I don't like to wear. no frikkin' way. I can get them to the thrift store and leave them there! But I can't motivate myself to wash them. :) I guess that falls into the "unable to do something boring" category but I don't think it's anything that I would want to change. that's just me keeping my to-do list short and my belongings simple so that I don't get too bogged down. I get bogged down if I have too much stuff.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    Well, like I said, it's on a spectrum and everyone's idea of "boring" or "unmanageable" is different. :)
  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Posts: 3,077Registered Users
    Wow, I can really relate to this! I never thought about it in this way before, but there are a lot of things I put off doing because they seem daunting even though they're really all that difficult l: doing laundry, cleaning, and yes, mailing things! Cleaning out the cat box would be up there, too, but my SO does it most of the time because he's awesome. It's really irrational because there are a lot of things that are physically and mentally harder than doing laundry or mailing my paycheck to my bank that I can do with no problem, but somehow these things seem really difficult.

    I really, really love the Bunny Bucket idea and may steal it. I waste at least five minutes a day locating my keys and cell phone, every single day.
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »

    true but then the diagnosis also becomes part of your medical record and anything that goes on that record makes it more expensive to get health insurance later ... which isn't noticeable to most people because they get insurance through their employer, but I'm an independent contractor and I pay for my own insurance so it's something I keep in the back of my mind.

    Ever since Suburbanbushbabe posted a while ago about her realizing this when she read those books, I have been wondering if I could have this, too. But I am afraid to get an evaluation for the reason above. My husband already suffers from depression, I can only imagine what the rates would be if I had ADD.

    Insurance is offered at my husband's new employer, but it will cost us $800 a month, plus 10%. We are better off getting it on our own.

    I think I am going to get "Delivered from Distraction". I didn't realize there were non-drug related strategies available.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    what are some of the non-drug strategies they recommend btw? I am curious.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    what are some of the non-drug strategies they recommend btw? I am curious.
    Check out the book, it's available in the library.
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  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    cympreni wrote: »
    I got a question about ADD/ADHD meds if you any of you don't mind answering.

    If you're prescribed meds for it, are you supposed to be on it all the time, or do you just take it as needed?


    I just take as needed.
    My prescription says take every day. They do metabolize quickly, even the extended release ones. Except for one that lasts 10 hours.
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    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    tmmy_cat wrote: »
    what are some of the non-drug strategies they recommend btw? I am curious.
    Check out the book, it's available in the library.

    darnit! well, I will google it and see what comes up. (I don't know if I can motivate myself to sign up a library card for just one book.)
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    I am on the waiting list at my library. I will let you know how it is, if I remember.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    thanks! I'm probably just being lazy...haha.

    speaking of ADD there's a guy at work who sometimes has trouble concentrating or trouble reading and I now wonder if he has ADD. like our tester writes 2 comments about 2 separate bugs in his code, and he only "sees" one of the comments even after I point out that there's two. Sometimes I can be pretty unsympathetic with people who don't read something that's right in front of their face because when I look at it, it just jumps out at me and it seems obvious. I actually got in trouble at work because I was impatient with him in one of these situations. my supervisor found out that I was rude to him and told me to let him handle it instead of me if I'm feeling impatient whatsoever with this guy. ok, that's fine...

    Anyway, my question is ...
    If you have ADD and you know you are not very good at concentrating on X, wouldn't you just gravitate towards jobs that don't involve X? I mean, if this guy finds it really difficult to concentrate on reading then wouldn't he just gravitate towards jobs that are more tactile and verbal because those jobs would feel more interesting to him? If it's difficult to concentrate on X then X must be really boring to that person, and why would anyone choose a boring job if they have a choice?
    Or is that really ignorant of me??

    for example I am really, REALLY bad at keeping track of physical objects, their locations, trying to keep everything organized in the physical world ... etc. But with ideas and concepts and "digital" stuff like that, I'm fascinated and organized and it's easy to concentrate.
    So I gravitate towards software development and it's a perfect match for me. Someting tactile and "physical" like, say, flipping houses - would be a terrible and frustrating job for me. even if I could make more money with a different job I would still want to stick to something that's interesting and something I'm good at. Maybe I'm just being completely ignorant though...I'm not sure how it works.