im posting this everywhere it counts cuz this is URGENT!

snappynappy

my neice is 4 and a half-my sister relaxes her hair. :angry5::angry5::angry5::angry5::angry5:
How can i convince her to stop???:dontknow: i think my neices natural hair is the same as mine( 7.5 months transitioning)... 3/4a combo.

what should i look into? I dont want to buy products and then have them not work. What works on tight kinky curly hair and what doesnt?

MissConstrued

My half-sister relaxed my niece when she was three and her hair all but fell out. She lives with her godmother now who stopped the relaxers and presses it once every other week (her hair has grown past her shoulders now). There really isn't anything you can do to make her stop it, just keep trying to convince her that it's bad (not in front of your niece, you don't want her to think that there is something wrong with her). If you post a pic of your hair you'd give a better idea of what your hair type is and get better product advice.

jcurlady

ITA w/ DAngelique25. My cousin tex/relaxed my goddaughter's hair and in a recent pic she had bald spots by her ear. I gave my cousin all kinds of info on good products and referred her to this website. My cousin is so stubborn and has a photo file of her daughter getting the relaxer on her myspace like it's a rite of passage or something.
Sorry about the rant. This is one of my many pet peeves
I should have hammered in the fact to my cousin about the dangers of putting that chemical on her child's head. There was a link to a video where ppl were discussing the link to cancer and relaxers. I don't know if it's proven or anything but the hypothesis is out there. It may be on youtube or maybe you can research it on google.
Ultimately it's her kid. You can only take her to the water.

mzmillion

My sister was thinking about giving my niece her first perm about 3 years ago and I had just started thinking about going natural and my first inspiration to do it was going to Miss Jessie's site and looking at the pictures so I showed my sister.

Needless to say, she was super excited and ended up buying the products and started using them on my niece(3b/3c) but about a year ago my niece begged for a perm for her 11th birthday and got one....now my sister and my niece seriously regret it because it is starting to fall out and my niece wants to go back natural.....

Prettycurls

I think this is a shame. Whomever the stylist is should be beaten senseless for agreeing to do that.

It is one thing for a teen or a woman to make this decision, but come on - not a baby.

Perhaps telling her what kinds of chemicals are in there would help.

I would imagine that since she is so young she probably has softer hair than an adult even if it is very tightly curled.

I think the first step would be to see if she is protein sensitive as a lot of people say that can give some not so nice effects on hair.

If she isn't, I wouldn't spend a lot of money, but you could start having her alternate treatments (deep moisture) and/or protein - to get her hair healthy.

As far as regular maintenance you could get her into an inexpensive , but good storebrand conditioner for cowashes and conditioning.

You could teach her about the physical methods of creating good styles like the twist out, braid out, maybe a wet set, straw set etc..

She could always do buns and since she is a kid she could do the two braids down each side of the back of her head, or a large french braid.

There is a lot she can do.

hippychic

My sister called me a few weeks ago in a panic about wanting relax my 6yr old niece's hair. I begged her not to and referred her to this site. She hasn't read anything but did listen. My niece has a massive amount of hair to be so little. I call her little erykah badu

I did her hair in a pony puff (I think that's what it is called) thanks to this site and my sister loved it (so did my niece). She wore it for 2 days. :happy7: I told my sister to keep my niece in protective styles to ease her frustration.

I permed my daughter's hair when she was about 5. I was at my wits in bcz her hair is super thick and she is super tender headed. Just parting her hair would have her howling. Her face and scalp would be beet red. I know my neighbors wondered many days what in the world we were doing to her.

Thankfully, her hair never broke off because I took care of it. I always made sure it was washed & moisturized (very little heat) and did touch-ups timely.

My daughter is now 14. I was watching youtube the other week and had stopped the video and went to something else. She said hey, I was listening to that... If you didn't perm my hair I could be natural. I was like this :tongue3: I didn't even know she was paying attention.

snappynappy

my neice had thick soft hair before the texturizer...it still wasnt 100% straight after that...its got a bit of a wave to it now. When she turned 4 she gave herself a mini bc...not sure why..:dontknow:she saw some scissors and went to town on the left side of her head!

snappynappy

Ultimately it's her kid. You can only take her to the water.

ITA...but its like she wont do anything with my niece's hair but then doesn't want anyone to do anything either. Over the summer my niece's hair was dry...so if figures moisturize it, i had some leave in conditioner and miss jessie buttercreme (which her hair loves)....but ohh no- becuase it wasnt grease my sister wasnt having it! I think i should just surprise her with a load of hair goodies and explain to her how to use them....

Avastra

Exuse my dimwittedness, but was is "relaxing" the hair? :scratch:

mariag002

There's nothing you can do because this isn't your child. I would maybe start helping her with her child and buy her good products that maybe she can use. Maybe when her new growth comes in you can suggest helping her out so that she doesn't have to immediately relax her hair.

I was upset when my sister relaxed my niece's hair. Instead of yelling at my sister (I was relaxed at the time too) I would try to help her out. My sister later realized that the relaxed hair was no easier, if anything it was more costly and my niece's hair stared to get shorter and shorter. A year later my sister transitioned her child, then I followed suit, then my sister. Now 3 years later all three of us have natural hair. My sister now listens to me and is well educated on natural hair. My niece is only 8 years old now but embraces her naps and curls.

snappynappy

There's nothing you can do because this isn't your child. I would maybe start helping her with her child and buy her good products that maybe she can use. Maybe when her new growth comes in you can suggest helping her out so that she doesn't have to immediately relax her hair.

ITA... sort of...

I can at least educate her and give her the option and the tools to embrace what comes naturally- because she shouldn't be told at such a young age that the hair she was born with isnt 'good enough". That would screw up her self esteem! I know she isnt my child but i want her to be confident in who she is, and not feel like her god given kinks and curls arent right.I figure its better to "intervene" and try to help my sister out than to just throw up my arms and pretend like it isnt an issue when it could rear its ugle head later on when it could possibly be much worse

I mean if you are going to relax her hair at least keep up with it and maintain it....otherwise what is the point:dontknow:

Prettycurls

So she is putting bad products in her hair i.e. grease AND neglecting to care for the perm?


Wow.

dominiqueruth wrote: »

I mean if you are going to relax her hair at least keep up with it and maintain it....otherwise what is the point:dontknow:

mariag002

dominiqueruth wrote: »

I mean if you are going to relax her hair at least keep up with it and maintain it....otherwise what is the point:dontknow:

Oh I'm with you 100% That's what happened to my sister. My niece went from a big matted mess to a dry nasty matted mess. Either way she was looking like :ncool: Poor Kid.

Maybe we can help you by recommending some good products. She likes hair grease? Well I bought my DD some Seyani Hair Butter from Shescenit.com and she puts it on my granddaughter's hair instead of that nasty Super Gro from CVS. Its shea butter with all types of oils and it smells great.

What kind of relationship do you have with your sister? Will she listen to you?

My sister transitioned her daughter, but called me up the other day and asked me what I thought about the Keratin Protein Treatment. I wanted to kick her butt for even asking But instead I refrained and sent her a few articles on the bad stuff that is in that product. and how the keratin doesn't make the hair straight, its the other dangerous ingredients that are toxic if you breathe them in.

snappynappy

i am younger by 3 years and 2 weeks...the relationship we have is alright, id say its normal.

i dont want to make her feel bad about not knowing what to do becuase up until recently i was just as oblivious, but i think ti couldnt hurt to help her out now so when my neice is older she will know what to do on her own

snappynappy

Prettycurls wrote: »

So she is putting bad products in her hair i.e. grease AND neglecting to care for the perm?


Wow.

dominiqueruth wrote: »

I mean if you are going to relax her hair at least keep up with it and maintain it....otherwise what is the point:dontknow:

My point exactly!!!

snappynappy

Prettycurls wrote: »

I think this is a shame. Whomever the stylist is should be beaten senseless for agreeing to do that.

It is one thing for a teen or a woman to make this decision, but come on - not a baby.

Perhaps telling her what kinds of chemicals are in there would help.

I would imagine that since she is so young she probably has softer hair than an adult even if it is very tightly curled.

I think the first step would be to see if she is protein sensitive as a lot of people say that can give some not so nice effects on hair.

If she isn't, I wouldn't spend a lot of money, but you could start having her alternate treatments (deep moisture) and/or protein - to get her hair healthy.

As far as regular maintenance you could get her into an inexpensive , but good storebrand conditioner for cowashes and conditioning.

You could teach her about the physical methods of creating good styles like the twist out, braid out, maybe a wet set, straw set etc..

She could always do buns and since she is a kid she could do the two braids down each side of the back of her head, or a large french braid.

There is a lot she can do.

how do i see if she is protein sensitive?

Suburbanbushbabe

What does your sister think of your hair - does she like it?

snappynappy

i am transitioning...so she hasnt seen it. Im considering a bc soon-june at the latest, so she will get to see it soon!

MissConstrued

You know, I've been seeing a lot of younger girls rockin natural hair and maybe if you tell your sister about them she might want to give it a try. Most young girls I talk to said they started because of Teyanna Taylor. Try showing your sister pictures of young girls with natural hair and see what she thinks. Maybe suggesting transition styles, like braids (she can braid the front and leave the back out, get micro braids, just braid it all, bun-it, headbands, ponytails, etc.). Also, maybe pointing out the various styles your niece would be able to wear if she was natural, and informing your sister that she could still wear straight styles when she wanted without chemicals.

snappynappy

My sister saw my hair and was PISSED:pain10::cussing:. Her first words were "why the heck did you cut it???" The only young relative(cuz my grandma is in her 70s) that liked it happened to have 3 boys and a baby girl, one in dreadlocks and the others with 2 b/c hair. All of whom are natural!!! Ive noticed in my family...the only ones with hair past their ears are the BOYS!! Cuz they are all natural!!


my nieces birthday is coming up...so i think i will include some hair goodies with her birthday presents. Also...i tend to have her at least half the time over the summer so i think that i could do a little something