CurlTalk

So, how's the libido?

LilyWavesLilyWaves Posts: 224Registered Users
I've been married for almost two years now and have absolutely no desire for sex anymore. When my husband and I first got together we were in high school. He was my first, and that combined with the raging hormones of a teenage girl, we had sex almost daily. We broke up for several years while I was in college and during that time I had a couple of boyfriends and with one the sex was amazing and the other, it was good, though not mind blowing. So now, my husband being the only man I've slept with for the last 4 years, my sex drive is nonexistent. Our relationship (other than intimacy) is great, but I'm just wondering if this is normal. I feel bad for him because I'm never really into it and I know he's aware of it. I hoping this is something that improve because I'm sure this will eventually hurt our marriage if it continues.
Is it possible to really love someone and not be sexually attracted to him? I was at one time, but I'm not sure how to get that back. Anyone else experience something similar? How did it turn out?
2b
conditioner - AOHR
shampoo - Beauty Without Cruelty Rosemary Mint Tea Tree
styling products - KCCC, BRHG, Boots Curl Creme, Re:coil
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Comments

  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    Is your desire literally zero, or you just never seem to want it when he wants it? Do you ever get "in the mood" when he's not around? Do you masturbate? (you don't have to answer these questions obviously, just think about them).

    I think it's normal for desire to decrease a little bit the longer you're with someone, and usually more common in women. I found for a while with me that I was always so exhausted at night when I'd finally get my son to bed, but often was "in the mood" during his afternoon nap (luckily my husband's job is close enough to allow nooners on his lunch break ;)). Another thing that is definitely true for me is, the more sex I have, the more sex I want. My husband calls it "sliding downhill". Another thing that really helps me is fantasizing, talking about fantasies with my husband, and enjoying my fantasies alone when DH can't be there.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    Are you on any type of medication, or hormonal birth control? BC can cause a drop in libido.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

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  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    First of all, I think every woman goes through times like that, where you're just not interested in sex with anyone. So you're normal. :)

    Secondly, sometimes you just have to DO IT, just like Nike says. In my own experience, I seem to get in the habit of not wanting it, but once we get started, it's fine, and sometimes it's AWESOME.

    If I waited to be "in the mood" we'd never get anywhere. :D
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    PartyHair wrote: »
    Secondly, sometimes you just have to DO IT, just like Nike says. In my own experience, I seem to get in the habit of not wanting it, but once we get started, it's fine, and sometimes it's AWESOME.

    If I waited to be "in the mood" we'd never get anywhere. :D

    This is true too, and while I would never encourage faking orgasms, sometimes you have to fake being into it until you realize that you actually are into it. Men have fragile egos and if they think you're just lying there waiting for them to "finish", it won't be fun for them and it will make it even more difficult for them to finish.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    Another thing that is definitely true for me is, the more sex I have, the more sex I want.

    Oh, that's a great point. Conversely, if it's been a while... I kind of lose interest.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    PartyHair wrote: »
    Secondly, sometimes you just have to DO IT, just like Nike says. In my own experience, I seem to get in the habit of not wanting it, but once we get started, it's fine, and sometimes it's AWESOME.

    If I waited to be "in the mood" we'd never get anywhere. :D


    True words. I'm not into it about 1/2 the time (poor guy), but I'm *always* there once we get going.
  • LilyWavesLilyWaves Posts: 224Registered Users
    Hmm...so I should just go for it, even if I'm not into it in hopes that will boost my desire? I think I can give that a try. We have sex about once a week, so maybe I should add in a couple of extra days?
    Pixie, yes it seems about zero. I don't fantasize about him or anyone else. Also, we don't have children so time/energy really isn't the problem.
    Gemini - I am on BC. I switched from Yasmin to Yaz on my last appt. because I thought that may be the cause. We've talked about TTC within a couple of years, so when I stop taking BC, I guess I'll find out if the pills are the problem.
    Another thing though, and I understand its very common.... but I cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Maybe I'm just tired of all the work for no payoff? It used to be frustrating for him and I think he just eventually gave up, but I still feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.
    2b
    conditioner - AOHR
    shampoo - Beauty Without Cruelty Rosemary Mint Tea Tree
    styling products - KCCC, BRHG, Boots Curl Creme, Re:coil
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    LilyWaves wrote: »
    Hmm...so I should just go for it, even if I'm not into it in hopes that will boost my desire? I think I can give that a try. We have sex about once a week, so maybe I should add in a couple of extra days?
    Pixie, yes it seems about zero. I don't fantasize about him or anyone else. Also, we don't have children so time/energy really isn't the problem.
    Gemini - I am on BC. I switched from Yasmin to Yaz on my last appt. because I thought that may be the cause. We've talked about TTC within a couple of years, so when I stop taking BC, I guess I'll find out if the pills are the problem.
    Another thing though, and I understand its very common.... but I cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Maybe I'm just tired of all the work for no payoff? It used to be frustrating for him and I think he just eventually gave up, but I still feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.

    Not cool on his part. Have you all talked about this issue
  • LilyWavesLilyWaves Posts: 224Registered Users
    Trenell wrote: »
    LilyWaves wrote: »
    Hmm...so I should just go for it, even if I'm not into it in hopes that will boost my desire? I think I can give that a try. We have sex about once a week, so maybe I should add in a couple of extra days?
    Pixie, yes it seems about zero. I don't fantasize about him or anyone else. Also, we don't have children so time/energy really isn't the problem.
    Gemini - I am on BC. I switched from Yasmin to Yaz on my last appt. because I thought that may be the cause. We've talked about TTC within a couple of years, so when I stop taking BC, I guess I'll find out if the pills are the problem.
    Another thing though, and I understand its very common.... but I cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Maybe I'm just tired of all the work for no payoff? It used to be frustrating for him and I think he just eventually gave up, but I still feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.

    Not cool on his part. Have you all talked about this issue

    Yes, we have but it's been awhile. We've tried different positions for years to no avail, and I'm afraid to press the issue because I know it isn't his fault and it will only make him feel worse/inadequate. (I've never had an orgasm from intercourse with any partner).
    2b
    conditioner - AOHR
    shampoo - Beauty Without Cruelty Rosemary Mint Tea Tree
    styling products - KCCC, BRHG, Boots Curl Creme, Re:coil
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    1) Talk to your doctor, because it may still be because of the Pill. Is going off BC an option and using condoms instead? Your husband might be more willing to use condoms if it means he'll get more sex.

    2) Try watching porn or reading erotica by yourself sometime. If the mood strikes, rock on with your bad self, and if it doesn't, that's okay too. Try thinking about sexual scenarios different times throughout the day and see if it turns into a full-blown fantasy. If it does, tell your husband about it when you see him.

    3) When you don't orgasm from intercourse, does your husband finish you off another way? Do you ask him to? Have you tried positions that allow him or you to stimulate your clitoris manually? Maybe you could just trade oral sex sometimes and not even worry about intercourse?
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • MimsTXMimsTX Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Get some toys :)

    There are all kinds of nifty little gadgets you could bring into things that might help during. And they can be as much for him as for you, if his ego's fragile on that end.
    CG/Mod CG (soap bars) since 8/12/08
    CO wash/Cond: Kathymack & Flowermoon Castille soap bars, V05 Chamomile Tea, Suave Ocean Breeze, Biolage Conditioning Balm
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    Not sure about: Boots, Tweek, KBB Milk, DMHJ
    HATE: plopping, FOTE on wet hair, BRHG
  • MizKerriMizKerri Posts: 1,701Registered Users
    LilyWaves wrote: »
    Hmm...so I should just go for it, even if I'm not into it in hopes that will boost my desire? I think I can give that a try. We have sex about once a week, so maybe I should add in a couple of extra days?
    Pixie, yes it seems about zero. I don't fantasize about him or anyone else. Also, we don't have children so time/energy really isn't the problem.
    Gemini - I am on BC. I switched from Yasmin to Yaz on my last appt. because I thought that may be the cause. We've talked about TTC within a couple of years, so when I stop taking BC, I guess I'll find out if the pills are the problem.
    Another thing though, and I understand its very common.... but I cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Maybe I'm just tired of all the work for no payoff? It used to be frustrating for him and I think he just eventually gave up, but I still feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.

    Do you mean you cannot have an orgasm through penetration? If that is the case, that is pretty normal - a huge percentage of women cannot orgasm this way and need clitoral stimulation to achieve it. I would recommend trying external stimulation, either using hands or orally, if you haven't already. Toys are fun to explore as well. Just remember that orgasms don't necessarily have to come from having a penis inside a vagina. :) I know I'd be sorely disappointed and my husband would be frustrated as hell if that were the case.
    Location: Southern NH

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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Trenell wrote: »
    LilyWaves wrote: »
    Hmm...so I should just go for it, even if I'm not into it in hopes that will boost my desire? I think I can give that a try. We have sex about once a week, so maybe I should add in a couple of extra days?
    Pixie, yes it seems about zero. I don't fantasize about him or anyone else. Also, we don't have children so time/energy really isn't the problem.
    Gemini - I am on BC. I switched from Yasmin to Yaz on my last appt. because I thought that may be the cause. We've talked about TTC within a couple of years, so when I stop taking BC, I guess I'll find out if the pills are the problem.
    Another thing though, and I understand its very common.... but I cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Maybe I'm just tired of all the work for no payoff? It used to be frustrating for him and I think he just eventually gave up, but I still feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.

    Not cool on his part. Have you all talked about this issue

    Yea that's not cool at all. I also don't get off on intercourse. Oral is a must for me. I also get off from fingering ..my current guy is a lil disappointed that I can't from intercourse but he always takes care of me. Or else why would I want intercourse? So I feel you. Honestly I could have intercourse once every few months and I'd be okay. With my ex I lost physical attraction, but I think it had to do with many other factors. In the last year or so I think we only had it a couple times a year and fooled around a few times. Yea pretty bad..You definitely need to talk to him about it and find other ways that are good for you.
  • LilyWavesLilyWaves Posts: 224Registered Users
    In high school, before I was on BC, we just used the pull out method. ( I know, stupid teenagers). Anytime we tried to use condoms, he would say he couldn't feel anything and would lose his erection. Maybe he could give them another try before I make a decision to stop taking the pill. Most of the time he does initiate oral sex first because he knows I can't climax from intercourse, though sometimes I stop him because I'm not in the mood for it or because I know it will take a very long time (but that is the only way I can have an orgasm). Maybe I should check out some porn and see if that does anything for me...

    MimsTX, I did give toys a try...once. I bought a ring with these clitoral stimulators and vibrators for him to wear on our honeymoon (it seemed like it would be fun). He did try it a few times, but he hated it and would again lose his erection. I'll admit I was disappointed because I enjoyed it while it lasted. He has also told me that he doesn't like the idea of a dildo. I can't remember his exact reason why but it basically came down to his jealousy of a plastic penis.:laughing6:Anything that you particularly enjoy that you could suggest?
    2b
    conditioner - AOHR
    shampoo - Beauty Without Cruelty Rosemary Mint Tea Tree
    styling products - KCCC, BRHG, Boots Curl Creme, Re:coil
  • MimsTXMimsTX Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LilyWaves wrote: »
    In high school, before I was on BC, we just used the pull out method. ( I know, stupid teenagers). Anytime we tried to use condoms, he would say he couldn't feel anything and would lose his erection. Maybe he could give them another try before I make a decision to stop taking the pill. Most of the time he does initiate oral sex first because he knows I can't climax from intercourse, though sometimes I stop him because I'm not in the mood for it or because I know it will take a very long time (but that is the only way I can have an orgasm). Maybe I should check out some porn and see if that does anything for me...

    MimsTX, I did give toys a try...once. I bought a ring with these clitoral stimulators and vibrators for him to wear on our honeymoon (it seemed like it would be fun). He did try it a few times, but he hated it and would again lose his erection. I'll admit I was disappointed because I enjoyed it while it lasted. He has also told me that he doesn't like the idea of a dildo. I can't remember his exact reason why but it basically came down to his jealousy of a plastic penis.:laughing6:Anything that you particularly enjoy that you could suggest?

    Yeah, I have a friend that tried one of those rings... her hubby wasn't impressed (too tight, he said) but she sure loved it.

    I'm not sure if its the same as what you got, but a lot of them are just the "Magic Bullets" that slip into the plastic ring. Those things are freaking awesome, and you could easily use that (or have him use it on you) during sex to see if that helps.

    ETA: I agree with Josephine... if intercourse doesn't get you off, a dildo isn't going to either. An external vibe/massager is DEFINITELY the way to go, and small would be good if you want to use it during.
    CG/Mod CG (soap bars) since 8/12/08
    CO wash/Cond: Kathymack & Flowermoon Castille soap bars, V05 Chamomile Tea, Suave Ocean Breeze, Biolage Conditioning Balm
    Styling loves: DIFFUSING! CK, KCNT, KCCC, FOTE (on dry hair only), Re:coil, Proclaim gel
    Not sure about: Boots, Tweek, KBB Milk, DMHJ
    HATE: plopping, FOTE on wet hair, BRHG
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    My favorite is a brookstone pressure point massager. A few of my friends love this too. It's external and stimulates the clitoris..sooo good. If you dont *** from intercourse, not sure a dildo would be any different.

    Okay i just looked it up and they are back on the market..they discontinued it for a while last year.

    280321_p.jpg

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.brookstone.com%2Fstore%2Fproduct.asp%3Fproduct_code%3D280321%26amp%3Bwid%3D17%26amp%3Bcid%3D1702%26amp%3Bsid%3D170203%26amp%3Bsearch_type%3Dsubcategory%26amp%3Bprodtemp%3Dt1" class="Popup
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    towards the end of my pregnancy, it took too much work to reach orgasm so we got The classic Silver Bullet Vibrator. Good stuff.

    For me sex+no orgasm=no go I'll let it slide a few times, but it would really really REALLY annoy me.

    You need to be very vocal to your husband about what you need. If you don't know, how can he?
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    You're pretty normal, IMO. People have given you some great suggestions here. Indeed, sometimes just getting started is enough to get the engine going, and just because you don't orgasm from penetration doesn't mean you can't get other stimulation while you're having intercourse. Multitask! Of course this is easier in some positions than in others.

    And if you don't masturbate, and don't know how to get yourself there, you're doing yourself and your marriage a huge disservice. Figure out how to double click your own mouse and if he can't get it done, do it yourself. I can't imagine how you expect him to do it if you can't. Neither of your are broken, but I do think there's probably some hang ups (both yours and his) that are putting some road blocks up for you. I find it suspect when men say that condoms cause a loss of erection or feeling. Smells a lot like they don't want to deal with birth control. Not cool.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    *guano and graphic below*

    i never understood men who get upset or who take it personally that their partner can't get an orgasm through intercourse alone, like it's a slight against their ability to handle things in the bedroom. :angry3:

    men have to have patience and figure out what will make her climax. it may be that she'll only ever climax with manual stimulation or from a position that will allow her clitoris to have direct and rhythmic contact with his pelvis so that she can be stimulated to the point of orgasm.

    everyone is so different when it comes to what feels pleasurable sexually. you don't give up just because someone isn't responding in a way that you'd expect her to. you just keep trying until you figure out what will make her responsive. and the same goes for women being patient with their men, if that's the case.

    my advice is to explain to your husband the anatomy of a woman's genitals, if he doesn't already know. the base of some women's clitorises (clitori? :tongue1: also known as the g-spot) within the vagina becomes stimulated due to the size/shape of the penis and the thrusting during intercourse. this allows them to have a vaginal orgasm that is described as deeper-feeling longer-lasting, but not always as intense as a clitoral orgasm. a clitoral orgasm is achieved from direct external contact through grinding, or the rubbing of the man's pelvis against a woman during certain positions, through masturbation, or through the man manually stimulating her with his hands, etc. some women can get both vaginal and clitoral orgasms. many women experience only clitoral.

    our hormones affect our libido. some women's pms crank up their drive, and with some, it becomes lowered. just natural aging affects some women's drives, as does stress, sickness, medications, pregnancy, etc. my girlfriend confessed that she can't separate anger from sexual urges. when she and her husband have an argument, the last thing she wants is for him to touch her, much less have sex.

    i, on the other hand, can push my anger aside to get a good one in, and then resume my anger. :thumbright:
    i'm a freak.
    

    *guano over*
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    I find it suspect when men say that condoms cause a loss of erection or feeling. Smells a lot like they don't want to deal with birth control. Not cool.

    I meant to say something about that as well. you should say "So instead of dealing with your loss of some feeling, you rather me be pumped with chemicals. mmmkay"
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    Trenell wrote: »
    I find it suspect when men say that condoms cause a loss of erection or feeling. Smells a lot like they don't want to deal with birth control. Not cool.

    I meant to say something about that as well. you should say "So instead of dealing with your loss of some feeling, you rather me be pumped with chemicals. mmmkay"

    Dah. Personally, hormonal birth control compeltely kills my drive. And it makes me crabby to boot. So not only do I not want to get groiny, but I'm not exactly sunshine and puppies to be around the rest of the time. THAT doesn't do much for my sex appeal.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Trenell wrote: »
    For me sex+no orgasm=no go I'll let it slide a few times, but it would really really REALLY annoy me.


    I can't agree more. It's only happened a few times to me and most of those times I was not happy at all.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    DH used to have trouble maintaining with a condom when we first switched. But he got used to it. Nowadays his only problem with condoms is having to stop and get them on, which isn't too fun for me either. He has complained a few times about that, but it's usually followed by him mentioning a vasectomy.
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    cympreni wrote: »
    DH used to have trouble maintaining with a condom when we first switched. But he got used to it. Nowadays his only problem with condoms is having to stop and get them on, which isn't too fun for me either. He has complained a few times about that, but it's usually followed by him mentioning a vasectomy.

    Indeed, can be a pain if they're not right there. The getting it on part isn't bad (kind of fun, in fact) but stopping and getting it, particularly if it isn't in the same room, is a PITA.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    cympreni wrote: »
    DH used to have trouble maintaining with a condom when we first switched. But he got used to it. Nowadays his only problem with condoms is having to stop and get them on, which isn't too fun for me either. He has complained a few times about that, but it's usually followed by him mentioning a vasectomy.

    Indeed, can be a pain if they're not right there. The getting it on part isn't bad (kind of fun, in fact) but stopping and getting it, particularly if it isn't in the same room, is a PITA.

    Or worse yet, at the store. My youngest recently discovered them in our nightstand. He thought they were balloons. . . .
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    Ah!! No good, no good at all.

    We bought a very large quantity not too long ago. They're all kept in the same place, though, so while running out isn't likely to be an issue, if we're getting frisky in a room other than the bedroom, there has to be a pause in play, as it were.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    You're pretty normal, IMO. People have given you some great suggestions here. Indeed, sometimes just getting started is enough to get the engine going, and just because you don't orgasm from penetration doesn't mean you can't get other stimulation while you're having intercourse. Multitask! Of course this is easier in some positions than in others.

    And if you don't masturbate, and don't know how to get yourself there, you're doing yourself and your marriage a huge disservice. Figure out how to double click your own mouse and if he can't get it done, do it yourself. I can't imagine how you expect him to do it if you can't. Neither of your are broken, but I do think there's probably some hang ups (both yours and his) that are putting some road blocks up for you. I find it suspect when men say that condoms cause a loss of erection or feeling. Smells a lot like they don't want to deal with birth control. Not cool.
    I totally agree.
    It's perfectly normal for a woman to not have an orgasm just from penetration. There are a million things you can do together besides vaginal penetration that are really fun for all parties involved. I don't understand why people think those are just foreplay or just for when you can't do penetration.

    As far as dildos, I guess some men are threatened by them. But like pp's have said, they are probably not for you. You need a vibrator. They have wee ones in cute shapes like dolhpins and bunny rabbits, to be extra non-threatening. Let your husband try using it on you, either during sex or not. And definitely do a lot of self exploration, both with and without toys.


    As far as the condoms leading to loss of erection, I undrestand that happens to lots of men. But I don't think it's realistic to expect a guy to be all fired up, stop and put ona comdom and just pick up where he left off. If he loses his erection, surely you can think of ways to help him get it back. It's not like it's gone forever. You can practice putting condoms on him with your mouth.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • LilyWavesLilyWaves Posts: 224Registered Users
    Yes, it was the silver bullets that came with the ring...two of them (and they were great); and clitoral stimulation isn't the problem, for either of us. But for some reason, penetration + clitoral stimulation at the same time doesn't have a happy ending...it's like I have to fully concentrate to orgasm and something inside of me prevents me from doing so. I guess it really isn't a big deal as long as the job gets done, if not during intercourse but rather before or after. The main issue is wanting intimacy (intercourse or foreplay) in the first place. It's the loss of desire and sexual attraction that's the main issue. I think he's a handsome guy but when I look at him I don't want to rip his clothes off, and 10 years ago when we first got together, that's all I wanted to do. I'm sure it's me...whether a hormonal imbalance or something else I'm unaware of.
    2b
    conditioner - AOHR
    shampoo - Beauty Without Cruelty Rosemary Mint Tea Tree
    styling products - KCCC, BRHG, Boots Curl Creme, Re:coil
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    I don't think it's so serious as a hormonal imbalance. You may be mellowing as you get older, but if you're not happy with your libido, try masturbating. Watch some porn to get yourself moving. The more you play, the more you'll WANT to play.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    cympreni wrote: »
    My youngest recently discovered them in our nightstand. He thought they were balloons. . . .


    [guano]

    When I worked for Planned Parenthood, I used to get our condoms free...all colors. Our then-toddler daughter found them one time and said "ooooo....pretties". Afer that, we called them "pretties".

    [/guano]
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