CurlTalk

I'm So Sorry but Please Help Me

littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
My boyfriend of 2 and a half years has just walked out and left me after a huge argument that resulted in him putting his hands around my throat. It's 2.30 in the morning here so all my friends and family are asleep and I really need some help. I can't breathe.
3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
Photo Password: password
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Comments

  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    lock the doors and make a cup of tea and come back. calm down. can you call your mom or another woman in your family? im sure they wont mind.
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • realisticrealistic Posts: 2,222Registered Users
    oh my god.
    Are you safe now?
    Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not;
    and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board.
    -Henry David Thoreau
  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    I'm so sorry to bother you all but I didn't know what else to do. I can't think straight, he's just text to say he's got to his mum's ok but I'm a mess.

    My mum doesn't even know we're together and i have no other women I can turn to at this time of night.
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    well we are here, so why dont you tell us what happened?
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Posts: 4,476Registered Users
    Call the police and fill out a report. I don't know if you have protection orders in your country, but you should have a record of this.
    Do you have a friend whom you can call at any time? Call her and stay there for the night.
    You need to be safe, first and foremost.
    There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    You have us. :)
    I'm sorry you're dealing w/ this ish...(((hugs))) stay safe...
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    Thank you all so much.

    I just can't fill out a police report on him, I work for the Police so believe me I know I should but I feel like I provoked him and he was so upset with himself for doing it that he left.

    I don't have anyone I can call, I've tried a few but no one is answering because it's so late.
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    wtf not? file a report...:dontknow:
    don't fall for that ish...
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    what were you fighting about and how did it escalate to him putting his hands on you? is this the first time he has handled you like this?
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    Because I can't do that to him, it would mess up his life and I'm just a bit bruised, I'm more upset that he's gone. And I now how pathetic and ridiculous I sound.
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • KindredGhost1983KindredGhost1983 Posts: 1,187Registered Users
    Oh NO! This is just the beginning. We are all here for you.

    Take a deep breath, make some hot chocolate, and sit down. Tell us whats going on
    Curlies add me on myspace!

    www.myspace.com/agilruth
  • FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
    somehow I double-posted. sorry.
    [FONT=&quot]Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & FreeCurls[/FONT]


  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    you dont sound pathatic you sound shaken and thats understandable.
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    He suffers badly with depression and whilst we've had a great year or so the last one together I wanted to talk to him about him moving in and the future and I obviously handled it so badly that we ended up screaming at each other, so that's how it started. He went to hit my once about a year and a half ago but he managed to stop himself. His main fear is that he'll become his abusive father and I'm scared this will be a catalyst for him hurting himself.
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
    Thank you all so much.

    I just can't fill out a police report on him, I work for the Police so believe me I know I should but I feel like I provoked him and he was so upset with himself for doing it that he left.

    I don't have anyone I can call, I've tried a few but no one is answering because it's so late.

    That's why it's called self-control. Whether or not you 'provoked" him does not give him or anyone else the right to assault you. Please look out for yourself. Call the police and please don't worry about disturbing someone's sleep in times of emergency. Believe me, they will be more upset after the fact to discover that they could have helped you had they only known... Please take of yourself. {{{hugs}}}
    [FONT=&quot]Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & FreeCurls[/FONT]


  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    Please do not make excuses for him.
    Please do not blame yourself.
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    red flags and danger signs are all over this situation. you need to worry about keeping yourself. You cant fix a broken man with love and affection, he needs professional help and you arent qualified to give it to him. In fact you may be enabling this behavior to continue. Making decisions based on whether or not he is going to hurt himself is not healthy for either of you.
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    I'm so scared
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    It's taking every last bit of self controlI have not to drive to him right now
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    is he threatening you or has he threatened your life in the past? even if it was implied? have you tried to break it off with him in the past and was manipulated into not doing it?
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • battinlashbattinlash Posts: 1,850Registered Users
    I'm so scared

    What are you afraid of? That he will hurt himself, of that he will hurt you?
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    It's taking every last bit of self controlI have not to drive to him right now

    why? hes okay and your are okay for the moment. leave it at that for now. its your safety you need to worry about, not his feelings.
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • littlemisscurlylittlemisscurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    That he'll hurt himself or I'll hurt myself
    3A hair, very boring brown colour, just over shoulders (aiming for BSL)
    Photo Password: password
  • lauraloolauraloo Posts: 2,121Registered Users
    It's taking every last bit of self controlI have not to drive to him right now

    Listen: he put his hands around your throat. He tried to hurt you! You absolutely must protect yourself right now. If he is prone to violence you cannot go to him.

    Lock your doors, now. Sit down and calm down. The other posters are right; if he's abusive, he needs professional help, and going to see him right now will not help anything. You need to call the police and file a report so that he will realize the magnitude of his actions and be forced to get help. This is abuse.
    Not all who wander are lost.

    Fine and thin 3a. PW: curls
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    okay, yall both need to talk to someone. sounds like you are toxic for each other and some distance may not be a bad thing. If you are feeling like you may hurt yourself you need to get on the phone and ring them until somebody in your family answers. im.not.kidding............
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • FreeCurlsFreeCurls Posts: 4,408Registered Users
    battinlash wrote: »
    I'm so scared

    What are you afraid of? That he will hurt himself, of that he will hurt you?

    Or maybe you are afraid he won't come back? Can you explain more?
    [FONT=&quot]Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce & FreeCurls[/FONT]


  • shellibeanshellibean Posts: 4,500Registered Users
    Please call someone. ANYONE. This is NOT your fault.
    A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

    "...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock

    "I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    or I'll hurt myself


    what? Are you in the united states? 1-800-784-2433.

    Breath deep.
    Know that we all care.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    Call the police file a report. Call a domestic abuse line too if you have no one else to help support you.

    There is NOTHING you can do to deserve that kind of response. Stop worrying about messing up his life. He already did that for himself. He is already his abusive father the day he raised his hand to you. Now you need to take care of yourself.

    it is not your responsibility to take care of him. Your only responsibility is yourself. You don't owe him anything. Calling the police is the best thing you can do for yourself AND HIM. He needs professional help and to know the consequences of his actions.

    And no those aren't just a few bruises. HE TRIED TO KILL YOU! Please, just call the police and cut off all contact with him.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    or I'll hurt myself


    what? Are you in the united states? 1-800-784-2433.

    Breath deep.
    Know that we all care.

    Adding the number for domestic abuse hotline

    1-800-799-7233
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