A Little Vent: The nerve of some folks!

deedlesdeedles Posts: 2,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
I was in the Chick-Fil-A last night with DH and Liam and we were in the playarea... I could smell that Liam made a deposit so I casually said to DH we have to go change Liam.

The lady walks up to me and says.. "how old is your son?" I told her 2 1/2...

She looks shocked at me...:eek: and says

Oh really.. you don't have him trained yet.. my son was trained by 20 months!!

Now I'm starting to second guess my decision to not push the issue.. I was told by my pediatrician not to force it...
Liam: 6 years old
Colin: 3 years old
Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
Member Since: August 2000

Comments

  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    Don't let some stranger, even me, make you second guess yourself. She was rude, rude, rude. Forcing the issue will make it more difficult in the long run.

    It is my understanding it would be pretty unusual for a boy to be trained that early. She was just trying to make herself feel better about something by making you feel bad about something.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    Rude. Would it have been wrong to shove the dirty diaper in her face and told her MYOB? :angry5:
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    deedles wrote: »
    I was in the Chick-Fil-A last night with DH and Liam and we were in the playarea... I could smell that Liam made a deposit so I casually said to DH we have to go change Liam.

    The lady walks up to me and says.. "how old is your son?" I told her 2 1/2...

    She looks shocked at me...:eek: and says

    Oh really.. you don't have him trained yet.. my son was trained by 20 months!!

    Now I'm starting to second guess my decision to not push the issue.. I was told by my pediatrician not to force it...

    she was ignorant and rude.

    a very appropriate response to her would have been, "you must be so very pleased with yourself." then walk away before she has a chance to reply.
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  • deedlesdeedles Posts: 2,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    god I luv you guys!! making me smile :clown:
    Liam: 6 years old
    Colin: 3 years old
    Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
    Member Since: August 2000
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ruralcurls wrote: »
    Don't let some stranger, even me, make you second guess yourself. She was rude, rude, rude. Forcing the issue will make it more difficult in the long run.

    It is my understanding it would be pretty unusual for a boy to be trained that early. She was just trying to make herself feel better about something by making you feel bad about something.

    ITA

    I remember reading somewhere the average time for that was something like 2-4 years. I don't remember the youngest age, but I remember 4 years old being considered the high end of average.

    My oldest wasn't fully potty trained until 4, and his preschool teachers had no complaints. He would go if you told him to go, but he would never initiate it on his own. On the list of school supplies they insisted you bring diapers/pull-ups/change of underwear and clothes specifically for that purpose. Potty training was part of their standard education curriculum along side other self-help skills. So I'd say, it's safe to assume that many 3 and 4 year olds still struggle with it.
  • goldygoldy Posts: 5,463Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Typically potty training occurs between 2-4 yrs. It's best to wait until the child shows interest, training too early can lead to regression.

    Usually boys are ready later than girls.

    The nerve of that lady... who made her the authority!?!
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  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Posts: 4,476Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    She's a rude idiot. My oldest didn't show signs of being ready to train until he turned 3, and wasn't fully trained until at least 3.5 or older.
    My youngest wasn't trained until almost 4. Every kid is different.
    I knew a woman who trained both of her kids by 12 months, but I know that's unusual.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Ah, those perfect new mothers. She needs to be taken down a peg or two. Hopefully her next child won't pottytrain til 5, which will teach her some humility.
  • deedlesdeedles Posts: 2,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    his new daycare (which he starts in 2 weeks!!! :occasion7:) will help me with the potty since I am not a SAHM and can't do it myself full-time.. They told me though that they will not use diapers for him.. and that all the kids that are in his age class are either in undies or pull-ups so to stick with the pull ups...
    and that they will be taking him with everyone else to the potty as a group at least one time per hour (which I think is great!!)

    My next question for you potty aficionados is.. should I start with the training pants at his other daycare (home based) she doesn't take them to the potty as often (since she is an older lady) and usually lets them go themselves (which he doesn't get right now.) the pull-up downside is that they can leak really quickly.. and create several pant changes!!
    Liam: 6 years old
    Colin: 3 years old
    Location: Williamsburg, Virginia
    Member Since: August 2000
  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Posts: 1,340Registered Users
    Yeah she's living her in own little world. Stupid people... my son is 3 and potty trained, but my 2 1/2 year old girl is another story. Good Lord is she giving us hell about potty training and not because she doesn't want to but all she wants to do is stay in the bathroom forever and not go. She did wonderful at first and then it turned into that. Oh well... don't listen to people like her every kid is so different. My son started showing interest at 18 months but he didn't finish potty training until now. Just do it at Liams pace... he'll do it when he is ready.
  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    Some people don't get that every kid is different. The daycare will be a big help--For me, the teachers were instrumental in getting my daughter trained and I think kids react to peer pressure and seeing their little friends catch on to using the potty.

    How rude.

    D, I would give the pull ups a shot.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    Ugh, rude woman! It's quite normal for a 2 1/2 year old to not be potty trained yet. Don't worry about some random stranger at Chik-fil-A, deedles. She's a jerk.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    deedles don't fret. It would have taken everything I have to not clock that chick...
    I can tell you from experience...do not push the issue! lol
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  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Ugh, how cheeky of her! We haven't done much potty training with our 2-year-old yet. For a few days he told me "poo poo" when he was about to go, but didn't want to sit on the potty. So I decided he's not ready yet, and I'm not pushing the issue.

    If this issue comes up for me, I'll remember this comeback :lol::
    rainshower wrote: »
    a very appropriate response to her would have been, "you must be so very pleased with yourself." then walk away before she has a chance to reply.
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  • SisaSisa Posts: 759Registered Users
    How rude of her! Very heartless.


    And how rude of you, for mentioning Chik-fil-A to a Canadian who has no access!!! ;-) I craved (and CAVED!) Chik-fil-A throughout my pregnancy, and I miss it so, now that I am back up here. :lol:
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Ugh! I'd say "Well aren't you just so freaking special? Go get yourself a cookie." Or at least that's what I'd say if I wasn't speechless with shock.
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    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    damn. Doesn't that woman know that every child is different. And boys take longer.

    I remember being frustrated with the process and someone said to me : How many adults do you know that walk down the aisle not potty trained. Kids without any issues, eventually get it!

    Kennedy was potty trained early but she was ready. I also pushed her b/c I had a newborn and couldn't deal with 2 sets of diapers anymore. She was stuck on pull-ups way too long.

    Her 2 year old class teacher was great. They had her fully trained in a month (at 26 months, we were done). Those folks are so used to it that they really help close the deal. Good luck!
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    I'll agree with RCW, if this was a young woman, she's just probably never seen it "the hard way". If it was an older woman, then she has selective memory. My Mom claims that I was trained at 14 months. Whatever. I don't believe her.

    But, in the woman's defense, as a first time mom, I said something stupid like that to another parent without knowing any better. There were twin girls, about 18 months old, who were trying to get my 6 month old's soother. I said "Oh no, you don't want that, its just for babies!!" The Dad looked a bit miffed when he said "Actually, they still use theirs". I honestly had no idea that kids regularly use soothers after the age of one when I said it.
  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    deedles wrote: »
    his new daycare (which he starts in 2 weeks!!! :occasion7:) will help me with the potty since I am not a SAHM and can't do it myself full-time.. They told me though that they will not use diapers for him.. and that all the kids that are in his age class are either in undies or pull-ups so to stick with the pull ups...
    and that they will be taking him with everyone else to the potty as a group at least one time per hour (which I think is great!!)

    My next question for you potty aficionados is.. should I start with the training pants at his other daycare (home based) she doesn't take them to the potty as often (since she is an older lady) and usually lets them go themselves (which he doesn't get right now.) the pull-up downside is that they can leak really quickly.. and create several pant changes!!

    Oh it will be so good for him to be around other potty-trained children. Peer pressure works wonders. DS is starting to show a lot of interest in sitting on the potty and even peed on the potty last Friday. I'm going to try potty training when we're on vacation visiting my mom and dad.

    As for the Pull-Ups vs underwear, I don't really know what to tell you. DS only started Pull Ups when he moved to the toddler room - and at that time he wasn't anywhere close to ready for Potty Training. I find that Pull Ups are no good at night, but I go through between 3-4 Pull Ups in a day and 1 (maybe 2 if he poops) diaper before bed.
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  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Please. My daughter turned three last month and she will straight up tell you that the potty is too hard today, she wants her diaper, please. Whatever. Strangers can bite me.

    I have found that the kinds of people who give hit and run "advice" like that are usually clinging to the one thing they got right (yeah, potty trained at two, good for you, if only you could get him to stop setting fires at preschool). Ptttthhhhht.
  • imagenimagen Posts: 343Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    Please. My daughter turned three last month and she will straight up tell you that the potty is too hard today, she wants her diaper, please. Whatever. Strangers can bite me.

    I have found that the kinds of people who give hit and run "advice" like that are usually clinging to the one thing they got right (yeah, potty trained at two, good for you, if only you could get him to stop setting fires at preschool). Ptttthhhhht.

    :lol:

    What a prick. Not openly comparing children, especially yours to a strangers, is something you should learn not to do shortly after becoming a mother, if you didn't already have the common sense not to do it before hand. I think most people have had these kind of thoughts at one point or another, but people with tact keep it to themselves. Like CGNYC said, I think some people like to brag about the one thing that happened to work out well and leave out the rest.

    I think it's normal for kids to still be in diapers at 2 1/2. My son wasn't fully potty trained till 3 1/2 and trust me, I heard my fair share..oddly enough from my family. In hindsight I just love the fact that my SIL insisted her child would never be in diapers at 3 but not only did my nephew still wear diapers at 3, he still wears pull ups to bed at nearly 5. Saying that kind of crap usually comes back to bite you in the butt.
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  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    .

    I have found that the kinds of people who give hit and run "advice" like that are usually clinging to the one thing they got right (yeah, potty trained at two, good for you, if only you could get him to stop setting fires at preschool). Ptttthhhhht.

    Guilty as charged. icon11.gif However, I would never make a comment about someone else's kid not being trained. My kid gave me a hard time about everything, but that.

    For some reason I have been thinking about this thread a lot.... But I will have to post more later.
  • anonnymouseanonnymouse Posts: 1,340Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't know why some moms feel a need to push potty training and feel like they 'win' if their kid is trained early! Your pediatrician is right. If you try too early, it will just become a control issue and be a big battle. Liam will learn when he is ready. My son was past his third birthday when he potty trained, and he's certainly no worse for the wear.

    To guano a bit, I also never understood why some moms got so uptight about how long their babies used binkies or bottles or sippy cups. I never sweated any of that, and I'm happy to report that my 12 year old can poop in a toilet, drink from a glass, and doesn't still use a binky.
    rainshower wrote: »
    a very appropriate response to her would have been, "you must be so very pleased with yourself." then walk away before she has a chance to reply.
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  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Geez, people are so rude. Deedles, I'm following the same philosphy. Chas is slowly training at his own speed.

    Today was the first day Chas actually told us he needed to go poopy prior to going in his diaper. He also peed on the potty. I haven't been pushing the potty thing since I have another little one. I guess with the step today, I should probably buy some underwear or pull-ups for him. I just always ask if he needs to go potty but never pushed it.

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