CurlTalk

Operation Re-Launch

RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
My oldest son moved out a couple years ago, and he didn't plan well for it, and, of course, he boomaranged back within a few months. He was, of course, worse off than when he started, and we had to pick him up and brush him off and set him upright again. It was a classic case of "failure to launch". Since then, he's gotten a better job, upgraded his car, and settled down a lot. Getting diabetes, I must say, has done wonders in calming him down and getting him to be more serious about life. A horrible disease can have a silver lining I guess.

ANYWAY...he's moving out again. YEE HA! He's got a nice apartment, nearby, close to work and close to the little university town where he likes to hang out. I'm hopeful he'll now find a nice woman. He hasn't been dating (that I know of), probably because it's hard to impress women in their 20's when you live in your parents' basement.

I'm so excited to get a little more elbow room in the house, and to stop parenting a child. I'm ready to change our relationship to more of an adult-to-adult one. I think he is too.

Comments

  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    probably because it's hard to impress women in their 20's when you live in your parents' basement.
    And I thought that was just zman...:lol:
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    probably because it's hard to impress women in their 20's when you live in your parents' basement.
    And I thought that was just zman...:lol:


    SNORT! Yeah, I have sort of a motherly feeling towards zman...because he seems like another launching project.
  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users
    It scares me so much to think of my little girl growing up and moving on. But seeing this definitely shows the other side of it. Of course, when you have more than one you probably even look forward to it sooner :laughing7:
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  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users
    Yeah for RCW's son!!!

    Maybe the next 3 launches won't be so bad. I think the younger kids learn from the mistakes of the older ones. I know I did. Both my sisters ended up moving back in with my parents. I didn't move out until I knew I could afford it...I refused to fail. I may have lived in a neighborhood my parents hated but I was able to stay moved out even when my roommate gave up and went back home.
  • MarMar Posts: 3,003Registered Users
    That is exciting!
    Mine have yet to leave the nest....
    "what's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?"



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  • BoomygrrlBoomygrrl Posts: 4,940Registered Users
    Yeah I had a brother like that. My other brother and I couldn't leave fast enough.
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Man I wish my parents were like you. I have been living in their empty house for the last 2 years after they moved. It was good for me in a way because no rent/mortgage (just bills) but bad because I haven't had my own place. I also did it as a favor so that I'm staying there, maintaining it and paying bills there since their intent was to move back as soon as possible.

    Well they moved back a few weeks ago and I am ready to move out but I can tell they don't want me to. They are spoiling me by making me lunch, breakfast to go before work, my mom cleans my room (which I find annoying because no privacy - im sure she saw my vibrator and she moved the boxers i got my bf for vday). Of course they dont bug me about anything except occasinally but are careful not to because they dont' want me to move out. Besides the fact that I'm old and need my own place, I have no privacy! And I don't know why they dont understand that someone as old as me woudl want her own place. They are thinking I should love it, free rent, homecooked meals, they don't bug me, but seriously! I'm nervous telling them that I'm going to start looking to move out.

    Okay, sorry I totally guanoed on your thread. That's good your son is relaunching and that you want him to.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    DEL2C wrote: »
    It scares me so much to think of my little girl growing up and moving on. But seeing this definitely shows the other side of it. Of course, when you have more than one you probably even look forward to it sooner :laughing7:


    I thought that way when he was younger, but he's almost 23 now...time for him to go be a man.

    Of course, I'll probably be singing a different tune when it's time for my little girl to move out. I feel extra protective of her because she's a girl.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Congratulations to RCW Jr. I'm sure this time will be a successful relaunch into the world.
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    Great news, good luck to him and happy days for you!
    2b/3a.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    Josephine wrote: »
    Man I wish my parents were like you. I have been living in their empty house for the last 2 years after they moved. It was good for me in a way because no rent/mortgage (just bills) but bad because I haven't had my own place. I also did it as a favor so that I'm staying there, maintaining it and paying bills there since their intent was to move back as soon as possible.

    Well they moved back a few weeks ago and I am ready to move out but I can tell they don't want me to. They are spoiling me by making me lunch, breakfast to go before work, my mom cleans my room (which I find annoying because no privacy - im sure she saw my vibrator and she moved the boxers i got my bf for vday). Of course they dont bug me about anything except occasinally but are careful not to because they dont' want me to move out. Besides the fact that I'm old and need my own place, I have no privacy! And I don't know why they dont understand that someone as old as me woudl want her own place. They are thinking I should love it, free rent, homecooked meals, they don't bug me, but seriously! I'm nervous telling them that I'm going to start looking to move out.

    Okay, sorry I totally guanoed on your thread. That's good your son is relaunching and that you want him to.
    :lol:

    yep, definitely something about having a girl, that's fer sure...rcw is she your youngest?
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    ...rcw is she your youngest?


    My daughter is 11, and my 3rd child. I have 1 more boy younger than her. I'm most protective of my daughter though, partly because she's a girl, and partly because she's a shy soul.
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users
    ANYWAY...he's moving out again. YEE HA!

    :laughing6: OK, that totally cracked me up! I was fully expecting you to say you were sad about it, and the YEEHAW was just the complete opposite of what I expected. Having only a toddler, I can't imagine wanting him to EVER leave... but then I haven't been through the teenage years yet. :lol:

    Congrats to your son (and you for getting him here)! And you are completely correct... in college and beyond, there's no way I would have dated a guy that still lived with mommy.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Kaia wrote: »
    Having only a toddler, I can't imagine wanting him to EVER leave... but then I haven't been through the teenage years yet. :lol:


    Oh, you'll find out.

    That empty-nest-depression thing is a myth. I think most parents are clicking their heels when they get their kids launched.
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    Man, I'm turning 20 in under a month and I can't imagine having to leave home forever in just a couple of years, though I know it has to happen. (Now I'm home for summers and breaks, and I cherish them for letting me be with my family.) For all of my imaginings of what my first place will be like, actually thinking of moving out, losing that closeness with my parents and brother, leaving my room - it makes me want to cry. I've already seen that my brother and I are less in-tune now that I'm off a college all the time.

    *sigh* This doesn't make me a boomerang, though, just reluctant to launch at this point - which is good, because right now there's no way I could move out to anything other than a cardboard box, and besides, my mom makes the Sad Face thinking about it.:tongue3: I'm still growing up. RCW, I'm glad your son is in the home stretch! And now that he's experienced the failure to launch and has self-treatment to deal with, he'll likely be a lot more responsible and ready to face things than someone who hasn't been challenged, IMO. Good luck to both of you!
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    Kaia wrote: »
    Having only a toddler, I can't imagine wanting him to EVER leave... but then I haven't been through the teenage years yet. :lol:




    Oh, you'll find out.

    That empty-nest-depression thing is a myth. I think most parents are clicking their heels when they get their kids launched.

    You still have 2 more at home, so it's not really an empty nest yet.

    My daughter's are a year apart, so they left one right after the other for college. I was also recently divorced. I miss the kids being here, but I do like my privacy.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    You still have 2 more at home, so it's not really an empty nest yet.

    My daughter's are a year apart, so they left one right after the other for college. I was also recently divorced. I miss the kids being here, but I do like my privacy.


    I have three more...but who's counting...

    You're right...I can be cavalier about it, because my youngest is only 8, so I still have a whole lifetime of parenting left to do. It's just really nice to loosen up the space in the house a bit by launching this one.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    It's definitely time for him to move out on his own & I can understand you feeling the way you do. I think when children stay at home once they are in their 20's it's hard on everyone. They don't think they have to have curfews, etc, anymore. Yet many times they don't really help out in the house. It turns into more of a crash pad for them. Some parents will still stay up all night making sure they get home safe.

    At one point, after I was divorced, my youngest daughter moved in with me for awhile. I stayed out all night at a boyfriend's house. When I got home she was sitting up waiting for me. She was furious!:lol: Our roles had been reversed. We sat down some ground rules & it worked out really well.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    It's definitely time for him to move out on his own & I can understand you feeling the way you do. I think when children stay at home once they are in their 20's it's hard on everyone. They don't think they have to have curfews, etc, anymore. Yet many times they don't really help out in the house. It turns into more of a crash pad for them. Some parents will still stay up all night making sure they get home safe.

    At one point, after I was divorced, my youngest daughter moved in with me for awhile. I stayed out all night at a boyfriend's house. When I got home she was sitting up waiting for me. She was furious!:lol: Our roles had been reversed. We sat down some ground rules & it worked out really well.

    He hasn't had a curfew since he was about 16. The problem isn't that he's gone too much, but, rather, that he's HERE too much. He's underfoot all.the.time, butting in, almost trying to parent his younger siblings, which the 16 year old in particular, doesn't like, so that causes friction. He helps around the house with chores, so that wasn't the problem either. He just needs to be on his own. I liked him a lot more when he would visit, rather than living with him fulltime.
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users
    Man, I'm turning 20 in under a month and I can't imagine having to leave home forever in just a couple of years, though I know it has to happen.

    Ugh, not me. I moved out when I was 19 and it wasn't a moment too soon. I like my parents so much better now! :lol:
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

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  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,777Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    I liked him a lot more when he would visit, rather than living with him fulltime.

    Ditto this, but from the other side! My relationship with my parents is wonderful only seeing them once a week or less :lol:
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  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    Kaia wrote: »
    Man, I'm turning 20 in under a month and I can't imagine having to leave home forever in just a couple of years, though I know it has to happen.

    Ugh, not me. I moved out when I was 19 and it wasn't a moment too soon. I like my parents so much better now! :lol:


    Ditto. I turned 18 a few weeks before I graduated high school, and once I was done with school I basically used my parents house as a crash pad, and little more. I was rarely home for more than 12 hours at a time, and probably only spent 3 nights a week there. That kept up all summer until I left for college, and after my freshman year I more or less moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) that summer and got my own place before school started. I never went home after I left, really. I couldn't have stood it. Not that there's anything wrong or weird about my parents, but I couldn't have lived with them again.
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  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    Good for him (and you, it seems) :)
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I moved out of my parents' house at 18 also, so I don't really have a frame of reference for my son's long stay. I started a full-time job the day after high school graduation in June of that year and I was out living in a cheapo apartment by July. My parents were way too strict (ineffectively so) and I needed to spread my wings. I never went back...except to do laundry.
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    It's pretty common these days, I think, for people to finish undergrad and then go home for a while. Most people I know did it for some period of time, slackers and non-slackers alike.

    My circumstances kinda fell into place. My husband and I were living together (though not yet married) and it was a lot easier to afford things with two people footing the bill. If I'd had to afford things on my own, or found a roommate, there might have been a draw to moving in with my parents for a time... except by the time I finished college, they had moved a coupla states away. Ain't no way in all holy hell I was going to move to Kentucky, TYVM.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • sophelinesopheline Posts: 55Registered Users
    I went to boarding school for secondary school (age 11-18 ). So I already knew by age 12 or 13 that I get along a lot better with my parents when I'm not living with them :lol:

    I'm currently at university, a good 200 miles away from London, so I still don't see all that much of my parents. Unfortunately for all of us, I have a nasty feeling that I'll be living with them again for a good while once I've graduated as pretty much all of my contemporaries are having serious problems getting full-time jobs which would pay enough for them to move out.

    As much as I love my parents, I don't want to have to spend too long living at home with them. The past four or five years of significantly more independence than I ever had before have been wonderful! For one thing, I can make FSG without having disapproving comments from mum :lol:

    Good luck to your son, RCW. I hope this time goes better for him!
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  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Posts: 3,077Registered Users
    Congratulations on the re-launch! :)
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    DEL2C wrote: »
    It scares me so much to think of my little girl growing up and moving on. But seeing this definitely shows the other side of it. Of course, when you have more than one you probably even look forward to it sooner :laughing7:


    I thought that way when he was younger, but he's almost 23 now...time for him to go be a man.

    Of course, I'll probably be singing a different tune when it's time for my little girl to move out. I feel extra protective of her because she's a girl.

    NOOO..I so resented my parents for saying things like that to me when I was younger.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Josephine wrote: »
    DEL2C wrote: »
    It scares me so much to think of my little girl growing up and moving on. But seeing this definitely shows the other side of it. Of course, when you have more than one you probably even look forward to it sooner :laughing7:


    I thought that way when he was younger, but he's almost 23 now...time for him to go be a man.

    Of course, I'll probably be singing a different tune when it's time for my little girl to move out. I feel extra protective of her because she's a girl.

    NOOO..I so resented my parents for saying things like that to me when I was younger.


    I'm extra protective of her, but that doesn't mean she's not allowed to do things simply because "she's a girl". I understand how that is...because my parents didn't let me do a lot of things because I was a girl. I don't do that to my daughter.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    Josephine wrote: »


    I thought that way when he was younger, but he's almost 23 now...time for him to go be a man.

    Of course, I'll probably be singing a different tune when it's time for my little girl to move out. I feel extra protective of her because she's a girl.

    NOOO..I so resented my parents for saying things like that to me when I was younger.


    I'm extra protective of her, but that doesn't mean she's not allowed to do things simply because "she's a girl". I understand how that is...because my parents didn't let me do a lot of things because I was a girl. I don't do that to my daughter.
    ita
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P