CurlTalk

Spinoff: How many good, healthy relationships have you had?

The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
Romantic ones only... Out of how many relationships total?

And what made them good?

Kurls' thread prompted this one.
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Comments

  • fraufrau Posts: 6,130Registered Users
    0
  • M2LRTooM2LRToo Posts: 446Registered Users
    What = healthy?

    I mean, I dated some *******s in my time, but I don't think that they were really unhealthy for me, the guys were just jerks and I failed to see it right away.

    What = relationship? Number of months together, number of years?

    I might have dated someone briefly, but I am not sure that I would call that a relationship. I did a lot of serial dating between 20 and 22, then settled down some around 22/23 when I met my husband.
    Prior to being 20, I was just with one guy for 4 years, it was healthy but not towards the end.
  • CurlyminxCurlyminx Posts: 5,581Registered Users
    Zero. Zip. None.

    I'm planning on the next one being good and healthy... for me at least (since i figure good and healthy varies from person to person).

    The first thing I needed to do was work on me. I got a good start on that, now I just need to continue on my path, and the right partner will happen along.

    ...that is how its gonna work right?!?!?!?!?!?! :scratch::?:confused:neutral::eek:
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  • MimsTXMimsTX Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hmm...

    I think that's a little hard to judge, really. I mean, at the time I thought they were fine. Otherwise I would have ended them sooner, right? (ok, well, in theory...).

    I've only had 1 relationship that was REALLY bad and unhealthy pretty much from the beginning. That one lasted FAR too long, but unfortunately I got stuck in a cycle of emotional abuse so it was harder to pull myself out of than it would have normally been. 1 other relationship dragged on too long and started to become really unhealthy. That's why I stopped it. lol

    Every other relationship I've been in has been 'healthy', it just didn't work out for one reason or another. But I still consider the guys friends. We just didn't have the right connection *shrug*

    And the current relationship is pretty darn good for me, I have to admit. Though I'm afraid I'll jinx it :P
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  • MarMar Posts: 3,003Registered Users
    2.
    One when I was 18 and the current one:)
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  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    I'm like MimsTX. I'm having a hard time judging as well.

    I had a few healthy ones.
    A few that were good at first but drug out too long and became bad
    And finally a few that didn't get bad until I either left or tried to leave.
  • tctc Posts: 986Registered Users
    the one I'm in now is definitely the healthiest so far, comparatively speaking ... although I'm still trying to figure out if it's going to last.

    the worst was basically me living with a guy friend that I wasn't attracted to, and calling him my boyfriend, because my dad cut off my money supply in college and I needed a place to live for free. (ouch!)

    then karma came to bite me in the butt and I found myself on the other side, in a one-night stand that lasted 9 months. I was a complete pushover and didn't require any sort of commitment from him before we had sex (first person I ever had sex with). my heart was completely broken when he dumped me.
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,498Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    none.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    One. My current one. What makes it healthy? We fulfill each other's needs, support and complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, and have a helluva good time together. No games, just happy companionship, and a great working relationship as we negotiate this corporation (family) we're nurturing.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    .5
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    lol at wild~hair
    for me maybe 2? :dunno:
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  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    I'd say two. My marriage is healthy, so that's a gimme. In looking back at the relationships I had before I met my husband (all very brief and pretty much larks), I think only one of them was really healthy. It ended because I wasn't ready for a serious relationship, not because it was dysfunctional in any way.
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  • maria_imaria_i Posts: 1,760Registered Users
    wild~hair wrote: »
    .5
    :lol:. Me too.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    One.
    We got to know each other emotionally/mentally before jumping into a physical relationship.
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    I think most of my relationships played out the way they needed to and were fairly healthy. Most of the time we just outgrew each other or changed directions.

    My marriage however was HIGHLY toxic. I felt like I was in a chess game. My requests were usually met with anger, so I was always trying to maneuver to get the best results. The games were exhausting, and frankly I was starting to remind myself of my mom. That's when I knew it was time to just end it.
  • rudeechickrudeechick Posts: 6,726Registered Users
    Geez, what a loaded and thought provoking question....

    I will agree with the poster who said .5 (the one I'm in now...) Will need to see how it pans out to know for sure....
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  • deletedelete Posts: 815Registered Users
    None

    I've had 3 relationships: the first one involved me unknowingly being the Other Woman and then getting cheated on, second one was with an alcoholic who loved me but loved drinking himself into a coma more, and the the current one is with a much older man who has commitment issues.

    We're close to having a healthy relationship but I have to overcome my severe trust issues/neurosis and he needs to realize that I'm not going to go psycho on him in the near future or ever.

  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    All but one, so it just depends how you count relationships. I had one relationship which started out healthy, and after a series of traumatic experiences he started being a jerk. It turned out the bad experiences were enough to bring out his PTSD. Once he was diagnosed, he chose not to work on trying to get better, and we broke up not long after. But while I was trying to be there for him while he dealt with his issues, it wasn't healthy.
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    Heh, Net!

    Missed you 'round these parts! How ya been? Where ya been?
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  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    Mostly really good, and also super busy! I'm planning on a "why I've been MIA" post tomorrow. Too tired now, after just attempting to catch up on the board!
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!