Over 40 Forum

System

In the general hair discussion forum, it has been brought up getting a group of us together who are over 40. Would it be possible to add a separate forum covering this? Not that we don't appreciate the tips from all the younger women(in fact they are the ones who probably set all of us in the right direction); but it would be interesting to exchange hints, tips, ideas from those of us who are older, especially since I think we are a smaller contingent and it's difficult to pick out posts specifically geared towards us and by us.

System

sounds great to me, an over 40 and curly.

System

But won't that start to isolate us? We could all end up having our own forums: teen forum, over 20 forum, over 30, 3as, 3bs, 4's etc... I like that we are all different ages and all have different hair types.
I think a similar question was raised before, someone wanted an over 40 forum (can't remember who) and I think it was Roquinne who said she liked that we are all different ages. Of course, she said it much more eloquently than me... But anyway, I just think that could separate us instead of uniting us.
This is only my opinion, of course.

Sharon

System

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shorty:
But won't that start to isolate us? We could all end up having our own forums: teen forum, over 20 forum, over 30, 3as, 3bs, 4's etc... I like that we are all different ages and all have different hair types.
I think a similar question was raised before, someone wanted an over 40 forum (can't remember who) and I think it was Roquinne who said she liked that we are all different ages. Of course, she said it much more eloquently than me... But anyway, I just think that could separate us instead of uniting us.
This is only my opinion, of course.

Sharon<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It might isolate us to a small extent. I can't imagine any of us not going to the General Discussion Board for everyone's ideas most of the time. I just thought that we might like occasionally to ask a question or get a suggestion from someone close to our age who might be experiencing the same problems. I am sure sometimes some of the younger women prefer ideas from women in their own age group.

System

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by munchkin:
It might isolate us to a small extent. I can't imagine any of us not going to the General Discussion Board for everyone's ideas most of the time. I just thought that we might like occasionally to ask a question or get a suggestion from someone close to our age who might be experiencing the same problems. I am sure sometimes some of the younger women prefer ideas from women in their own age group.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Okay....maybe I'm dumb, but what does age have to do with which gel, shampoo etc. works. Not trying to be sarcastic here. I just think that if a 16-year-old is having good luck with a product, why wouldn't it work for me? I'm 33. I just don't see why there would be any logical use for a separate forum. Now if we are talking about a NON-hair board for 40+, I could see that.


[This message has been edited by Peppy (edited August 16, 2001).]

System

It was just a suggestion. I'm all for the majority rules. If I am a minority, then I fully accept that. When I first got on this board, I asked about growing my hair out. I was thrilled so many people told me to go for it, but I will have to admit that at my age I looked at most of the profiles to see if I could determine the age of the person offering the advice. Not that I don't respect the views of the younger women, because I have learned a lot from them; but I think I wanted some reassurance from women my age also that I wasn't making a big mistake. I hope my last statement didn't sound untrusting or critical, but I didn't want to do something that maybe was too young for me either. Nothing worse than an "old" lady (and I think I am a young 51) trying to act like a young kid. I guess you have to be my age to realize you suddenly have to give some thought to things you never had to before.


[This message has been edited by munchkin (edited August 16, 2001).]

System

I have to agree with Sharon.

Us old ladies can get specific with thread topics.

System

Sounds good to me...43 here

System

i've had a lot to say on this topic in the past - i think it's a bad idea.

the last time someone suggested it, one of the teens piped in that there should be a teen board too.

don't divide - unite.

there are all kinds of places on the net with specific discussion groups for "women of a certain age". this is for curly hair - it's our common element.

and this goes for non-hair discussion too.

it's strange - but when i've specifically asked for help on things from the "older" curlies, i get very little input from them, even when i put in the topic that i need help from the over 40s...

Ronda615

I too, agree with munchkin I like the in put of other mature women. But then again, the younger women don't think twice about spending their money and I appreciate their reccomendations on products they have used. I sure can't afford to buy them all!

Im torn between yea and nay....

Lets face it we are all here for our curls!

I would love to share info with other mature curlies. It was fun while it lasted.

I would even like to see our ages posted in our profiles.

I love this web site!!! Ronda

[ August 22, 2001: Message edited by: Ronda615 ]

Long 'n Curly

I think it's a good idea. It may encourage some members to post more often if they feel they belong. Sometimes just knowing that there are many other members in your age-group helps you feel more at home. And this board can, at times, have a very youngish feel that may put off some potential members.

Gretchen

Oh, boy, now what are Michelle and I supposed to do!?

[ August 23, 2001: Message edited by: gretchen ]

Shorty

You two are going to have to make an executive decision. Good Luck.

But, seriously, I think that if you do decide to go with an over 40 forum, than you need to be prepared to give others their own forum who request it as well. That way it will be fair to everyone.
Sorry, I don't mean to sound so bossy. It just seems that if you do it for one group, than you will need to do for other groups as well. But, again, this is only my opinion.

spanish_curls

This is only my humble opinion

i thought that anyone who had a question, concern or needed advice etc.. can post on the different forums and the person who "regardless of age" that had something to say, advice, or had a simialiar experience "regardless of age" will post a reply, we are on a honest system here so if a 20 year old does not know anything on the subject she/he would not post a reply and if a 45 year old who can contribute, advice or had a similar experience would post a reply....

I personally don't think is fare to isolate age groups like that...not for nothing but like someone else mention - gels, shampoos, makeup tips, marriage questions, female questions, man issues, woman issues pertain to all ages and frankly products do not have age differences!...and the advantage is that you get a point of view from different a age group..and the old generation learns from the young curlies and vice versa!

And personally munchkin not to attack you or anything -but most of the advice here and the discussions apply to ALL AGES!

just my .02 cents

Maybe what we can do is post our ages in the profile section - so that way when someone older is reading and it applies to them they can verify if its coming from a young, or an older curly girlie

CGE

Well, my opinion wasn't asked for, but I'm going to give it anyway...I think it would be detrimental to the board if this was created. Like others have pointed out, if you do it for one "group" you would have to do it for others. What's next? A forum for ethnic hair care and a forum for white/non-ehtnic hair care??

I understand seeking advice from your peers, but to alienate yourself from the younger curlies..??? Maybe you could be more specific in the questions you ask..stating that you would like feedback from curlies your own age. But frankly, I don't see why the fact that I'm 28 has anything to do with whether or not you should take my advice. Curlies your own age can give bad advice just as easily as I can! (Not on purpose of course!!!)

And for the comment that younger women don't think twice before spending their money...what on earth would make you think that?? Sometimes I think 3 or 4 times before I spend. I think age has very little to do with how quickly we do or don't spend and how much we spend.

munchkin

After reading all your opinions, you are probably right, we don't want to isolate individual groups. We are all here for our hair. I guess just posting individual topics/questions which will require "older"responses is the way to go. I respect the fact that some of the questions on this board pertain more to African Americans than caucasians, younger curlies than older, and older curlies than younger. Right now I am facing change of life, loss of estrogen, changes in my body and hair. There was a topic on the news last night relating to how many millions of women lose their hair after menopause. I may fight my curls, but I'd rather have them than nothing at all. I will just approach any new bridge I have to cross with an individual question on the forums already available.

spanish_curls

"I respect the fact that some of the questions on this board pertain more to African Americans than caucasians" - munchkin - i suggest when you make your postings you review them before you reply - the above stmt. is a bit offensive - there a loads of other races on this board!!!


[ August 24, 2001: Message edited by: spanish_curls ]

munchkin

Originally posted by spanish_curls:
[qb]"I respect the fact that some of the questions on this board pertain more to African Americans than caucasians" - munchkin - i suggest when you make your postings you review them before you reply - the above stmt. is a bit offensive - there a loads of other races on this board!!!


Please I am sorry I did not mean to offend anyone. I should have used the word ethnic. I am from a small town and really didn't think I was saying anything wrong. I was only trying to say there are different groups of us on this board and different topics pertain to certain of us. I am sure if you are in your 20's something about menopause is not going to mean as much to you as it would someone 20 years older. I have voiced my opinion and respect that I am in a minority. This is it for me on the topic. Again, I am sorry; I meant nothing offensive.

[ August 24, 2001: Message edited by: munchkin ]

Shorty

Munchkin,
I know you said you were done, but just in case you check back...
I for one am very interested in learning about menopause. It would be nice to benefit from what you and others are going through. The women I know don't seem to talk about this other than to admit to the occasional hot flash.
As far hair loss, I had no idea. Do you mean we spend all these years finally loving it only to lose it?
Oops, I guess I kind of got a little off topic. Sorry.
While I am at it, I just now noticed that you are also from PA.

munchkin

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shorty:
Munchkin,
I know you said you were done, but just in case you check back...
I for one am very interested in learning about menopause. It would be nice to benefit from what you and others are going through. The women I know don't seem to talk about this other than to admit to the occasional hot flash.
As far hair loss, I had no idea. Do you mean we spend all these years finally loving it only to lose it?
Oops, I guess I kind of got a little off topic. Sorry.
While I am at it, I just now noticed that you are also from PA. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am back to respond to Shorty. I guess menopause has been my main concern for an over 40 forum. Do all these changes affect your skin? your hair? Do things you have been doing for years suddenly not work? This is where I am at in life and would like feedback on this. As far as hair loss, yes, it is a concern for a lot of women. The news story indicated several million women a year after menopause face the loss of hair, and that it is even harder for them to deal with than men -- probably because we are all so used to having great heads of hair for so many years, or we all (at least I do) think our hair is who we are to some extent. This particularly interested me because my mother, who had a tremendously beautiful head of thick hair, suddenly found it getting very thin in her 50's. Since entering her 70's, she has hardly any on top; you can see right to her scalp. Right now I am sitting here with a lot of hair, lot of curls, am 51 yrs old, just starting change of life, and wondering just what lies ahead for me. Maybe nothing, maybe a lot. I would love to hear from other NC members who are facing this stage of their life and have found possibly products that worked last week, don't work this. (P.S. They did say if you got to a dermatologist as soon as discovering hair loss it can be reversed in a lot of instances.)

And yes I am from PA; in fact, not far from you. We go to Pittsburgh several times a year. Just went twice this summer to the new PNC Park (which is fabulous) to watch the Pirates (they did even win once while we were there).

[ August 24, 2001: Message edited by: munchkin ]

Shorty

Okay, I haven't been to the park yet. I am jealous. I can't wait to go!!
Anyway, how bout posting some of those concerns at the non-hair board. Or, maybe a menopause forum?
Oh, I will start responding to you in the non-hair forum. I think I've taken enough space up over here.

Liza May

I have a concern that I think is directly related to my age: the issue of professionalism, and different requirements for appropriate appearance than those of younger women.

Curly hair is particularly challenging in this regard, because curls are associated with youth, playfulness, fun, being funny, wild, looser, etc etc.

We older women are supposed to look more serious.

In the "straight-hair" world, as women get older they tend to either wear their hair up, or to cut it short. Beyond a certain age it is no longer appropriate to attract so much attention to hair - this is considered too overtly sexual, or too playful, or simply too uninhibited as a woman gets older.

I have found here that this is not well understood by the majority of the posters that I've come in contact with so far. Hasn't been a particular problem - other than the fact that many suggestions for managing curly hair result in hair styles that I can't get away with in my professional life

It would be nice to hear from other women who are faced with stringent appearance requirements how they handle their hair. This is definitely my most pressing concern. My hair is a BIG challenge for me in my professional life. If I were home all day, my decisions about my hair would be very different.

I suppose I could ask this question on the General Discussion board, and name it with a topic name that would alert the over-40's (and other women with this concern).

I guess if there were an over-40 group, it would be easy to go to that board and quickly read through all the topics. As it is now, I would have to search for this topic.

Love Liza