Wavy girl growing her hair out from boot-camp-short cut

henchpersonhenchperson Posts: 67Registered Users
I've been pretending to have straight hair for nearly 20 years. And I've kept it short for a long time, too. I describe my hair as "can't make up it's mind" between straight and curly, but the fact is, my hair is wavy.
So as I'm growing it out - it's up to 5" measured from the scalp right now, which is the longest it's been in three years - I'm trying to be nice to it. No parabens, no 'cones, no heat treatements, no flatiron anymore. But because of the length, I can't just let it curl. I end up looking like I stuck my finger in a lightsocket. I know "bedhead" is in, but it looks crazy when I let it all just airdry. So at the moment, I section my hair when it's wet and pin it back with hair-friendly hairpins. When it dries - ta-da! Straight(ish) hair. I'm guessing that I'll need to do this a little bit longer, until my hair gets long enough that waves don't make it stand straight up in the air.
Here's my routine for the moment: wash with Aubrey GPB (or whatever the initials are, I can never remember) or with California Baby Tea Tree/Lavender shampoo every other day. Condition with Aubrey conditioner. On days when I don't wash or condition, I use a baking soda/water combo rubbed into my hair that's rinsed out with an ACV mixture. After wash (or non-wash), I wrap my hair in a microfiber towel while it's still soaking, put it up in a turban and get dressed, do makeup, etc. Then take off the turban, spray in some of the Aubrey leave-in conditioner/detangler, and do the pins. Strangely enough, takes me half the time of my old blow dry and then flatiron routine.

I've just ordered a sample pack of lighter hair products from Jessicurl. I'm replacing most of the hair products I had after reading the ingredients list and making horrified noises - the only gel I have right now is the Aubrey B5 stuff, and I don't use it often. I'm also learning about using stuff like jojoba and other oils to moisturize my hair, rather than chemicals. I had always thought I had dry hair, but it was dry because I was putting so many chemicals in it. Once I stopped doing that - and didn't dye it anymore - my hair evened out and is now what they call "normal." If anyone has suggestions for homemade hair stuff, let me know - I'm reading the "recipes" section of the board with great interest and have already compiled a shopping list.

I've been going to the same stylist for a number of years, and all that time, describing styles and bringing in pictures of people with straight hair. So, she assumed that styles requiring flatironing and blowdrying were okay with me, and she assured me that the flatiron didn't hurt my hair as long as I used a product between my hair and the flatiron. Because my hair is thick, she also thinned it, so that I could get the styles that I was asking for (rather than telling me "hello, your hair is nothing like this person's hair, you can't have this style" the way stylist with sense would have), so when I didn't straighten it, I had short bits poking up out of my hair in a singularly unattractive way.
Then I started trying to grow my hair out, and she kept snipping bits off - way too many bits, for my liking. WHen I asked her why, she told me that she was cutting off the damage to my ends from the flatiron. Completely contradicting what she'd said before - that the flatiron didn't damage my hair. So I completely lost faith in my stylist, and also started to wonder if she actually knew anything about hair.

I have an appointment on Wednesday with a "senior stylist" at J. Gordon Designs, a salon here in Chicago. Before I let anyone near my hair with scissors again, I need to set down some rules and make sure that they can abide by these rules without trying to convince me that thinning my hair is a good thing. I'm willing to look ridiculous for a while if the result is nice thick healthywavy hair, untortured by heat implements for the first time in 20 years.
Also, as has been mentioned other places in this forum, it's hard to find someone who can cut wavy hair. Not curly. Not straight. WAVY. And mine comes with cowlicks, too! I can't tell the stylist whether it's better to cut wet or dry, I have no idea. If the stylist shows any sense, she'll tell me that she'll figure it out when she cuts my hair.

I wish I were at a length where my husband or a friend could cut it, but Im really not. The sides come just down to my earlobes, and the top layer comes to the top of my ears. It's not that I'm opposed to layered cuts, it's just that this one is proving complicated to grow out. I don't want hair down to my tailbone - hell, at this point, I'd be happy with hair to my shoulders.
For the record, I post a lot, as I work as a researcher from home and I'm online pretty much 24/7. I'm really happy to have found this forum.
Not curly, but wavy. Learning to love it.
Valiantly attempting to become a product minimalist.

Comments

  • stubbornirishhairstubbornirishhair Posts: 118Registered Users
    Hi! Your hair sounds similar to mine. Do you think maybe you should avoid getting it cut until you get more lenght? I think most stylists in the US cut hair wet only, which might be okay or not. If your hair decides to rebel and stick out not so good.
    2B wavy thick hair
    Fia=2a M iii
    modified CG since 1/12/06
  • henchpersonhenchperson Posts: 67Registered Users
    I just had this same conversation with another girl who has stubborn wavy irish hair...which she grew out from a short cut a few years ago.
    Her suggestion was to just get the bottom trimmed until the sides caught up with it, which seemed sensible.
    The problem that I've been having for years is that stylists look at my hair, say "Oh how lovely, thick wavy hair!" and then thin it out so it's not thick anymore. And then I'm to blame for the blowdrying and flatironing it straight, so my thick wavy hair became flat boring average straight hair.

    Since I spent today getting x-rays of my ankle and am now confined to an air-cast and crutches, I think I'll cancel tomorrow's appointment. The thing is, though, that the back is driving me nuts. It's too long. I need a trim. I'd go to a place around here, only we live in a Latino neighborhood and these women have no idea what to do with my hair. Plus, there's a language barrier. I may end up driving past a salon that looks interesting and pop in to get the bottom cut to the hairline and the fringe trimed . THat way, the sides can catch up and then it can all grow out together.
    And if anyone comes at me with a pair of thinning shears again, I'll whack them with a crutch.

    Actually, what I think I'm going to do is just make an appointment with that stylist for next week, spend 15 minutes threatening her about what I'll do to her if she come near me with a flatiron or thinning shears, and then get the bottom and fringe trimmed. It'll cost me $50, but I'm willing to pay for good haircare.
    Not curly, but wavy. Learning to love it.
    Valiantly attempting to become a product minimalist.
  • stubbornirishhairstubbornirishhair Posts: 118Registered Users
    Sounds like a plan! Then just settle in for the long haul of growing it out.
    Good luck!
    2B wavy thick hair
    Fia=2a M iii
    modified CG since 1/12/06
  • henchpersonhenchperson Posts: 67Registered Users
    My friend's theory is that Irish hair is special - espeically the thick wavy kind. Do you have any theories on that?
    :D
    Not curly, but wavy. Learning to love it.
    Valiantly attempting to become a product minimalist.
  • funkymunkycurlfunkymunkycurl Posts: 83Registered Users
    Hi!
    I agree with Stubborn. You should definitely wait for your hair to grow out and then you will definitely see some waves surface. I learned this last year when I got a bad hair cut in an attempt to make my hair curlier. By the time I found this website and learned about different types of curls and how to care for them, it was too late. But I did find that as my hair is getting longer, it is getting curlier. I saw some of your pictures on your website, and you could experiment with cute clips and barrettes and still have a cute hair style while it grows.
    Formerly known as colomunky.
  • stubbornirishhairstubbornirishhair Posts: 118Registered Users
    Okay I just looked at your pictures henchperson, and colomonkey is right, your hair doesn't look like it necessarily needs to be cut, and it looks like it would be cute with a small barrette on either side, or a headband. Those warm-toned brown barrettes would look nice with your coloring.
    I have to say you look like you could be a member of my family. Those Irish genes are strong! As for Irish hair, sometimes it reminds me of thick wavy middle eastern hair, only not usually as dark, so I don't know if its special exactly, but its fun to think so! I saw a lot of hair like mine when I was in Ireland.
    I know I'm really lame because I don't have pictures up.
    2B wavy thick hair
    Fia=2a M iii
    modified CG since 1/12/06
  • kimmyckimmyc Posts: 551Registered Users
    I don't think it looks like it really needs to be cut either. Maybe do barrettes or a headband through the growing out stage. You may be surprised and love it when it gets a little length.

    I think that everyone has a great length for their hair where it's curliest and just what you like the best. Mine is midway between shoulder and bra line.
    My hair is between wavy and curly too so you're not alone. Just learning how to take care of it from being here has made such a difference for me in the health and curl. I bet it will be the same for you.
    2b/3a, primarily use Jessicurl and DevaCurl products, Curls Hair Tea conditioner and various gels. I'm modified CG-ish since 5/04.
  • henchpersonhenchperson Posts: 67Registered Users
    I'm not going to cut anything but the back, just up to the hairline. I'm not even sure about the fringe - but I'm always so self-conscious without a fringe hiding my high forehead that I might not like having my hair long without it. The difficulty right now is that the fringe is just long enough to hit me directly in the eye.
    I had long hair with no fringe in college, but dyed it and did terrible things to it. The I had long hair with bangs after grad school, but dyed it and did terrible things to it. I figure I can have her cut me a little fringe that I can pin back or grow out if it doesn't fit whatever style the wild 'n wavy look ends up being.
    The problem right now is that my hair is about nine different lengths. So I'd like to give the sides time to get down to where my hairline is in the back (not far now!) and then just let the whole thing start growing without thinning. I'll just keep trimming it to chin-length until all those weird-length pieces are even with everything else, then just let it go crazy. If it wants. Who knows - it could decide to be stick-straight one day.
    The worst part of this is the guilt (yes, I am CLEARLY Irish) because I let them thin it out and that's the reason it looks so shaggy and awful. That's why it's so many different lengths. And why it's going to take so long until everything is at a level where it can kind of be ignored. As it is, caring for my hair is taking up waaaay too much time.
    Of course, I'm also sort of enjoying fiddling with it and seeing just how much curl I've got when I don't fsck with it or scrunch it or add product. But man, am I glad of the existence of hairpins and barettes!
    Not curly, but wavy. Learning to love it.
    Valiantly attempting to become a product minimalist.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I wish I were at a length where my husband or a friend could cut it, but Im really not. The sides come just down to my earlobes, and the top layer comes to the top of my ears. It's not that I'm opposed to layered cuts, it's just that this one is proving complicated to grow out. I don't want hair down to my tailbone - hell, at this point, I'd be happy with hair to my shoulders.


    I've grown out layered short hair several times, and I think the best way to do it is just to leave it alone and let it grow. Every haircut sets you back that much more time. Your hair probably won't get many split ends, especially if you've given up the heat straightening. Get the bottom trimmed a tiny bit every 4-6 months til the layers catch up. The worst part is when the short parts over you ears start to grow into that puff-ball look. Hair accessories are your friend.
  • henchpersonhenchperson Posts: 67Registered Users
    The cut next week is just going to be the bottom of the back, where it's long and puffy and ridiculous and getting into mullet-territory (*shudder*). And also to meet the stylist.
    Once the back is cut - probably up to the hairline - the rest of the hair will just be left to grow out. All the little pieces tortured by the thinning shears. *sigh*
    But I can't work this Medusa look that the curls are giving me at the moment, so I have to do something to make it look a little tidier. And my husband is starting to think I'm trying to develop a barrette and hair clip collection.
    Not curly, but wavy. Learning to love it.
    Valiantly attempting to become a product minimalist.

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